Something You Stole
by ChronicallyEclectic
Summary: Link's adventures through the Twilight realm had taught him to expect the unexpected. Unfortunately even that didn't prepare him for the shock of being accused of apparently stealing one of the Princess's most precious possessions! What did he steal? He doesn't know and she wont say. Romance/Drama/Humour. Cover image by Janus3003 on Deviantart
1. Ruminations at dusk

**Something you stole**

**Prologue – Ruminations at dusk**

Dusk had fallen. The corridors of Hyrule castle were mostly deserted apart from a few guards starting their nightduties. The footfalls of a single pair of leather boots were the only sound echoing off the vaulted stone ceiling as the wearer approached a set of highly ornate double doors flanked by a guard on each side.

"Sir link" One of the guards addressed him with a slight bow before opening the doors to allow him passage, closing the doors behind him.

With the thud of the doors behind him, "Sir" Link awkwardly adjusted his dark green court doublet and black breeches, an outfit that he detested, before swatting his ash brown hair out of his eyes. "Damn doublet, always chafing my armpits" he growled in frustration under his breath, as he fought with the confounding, constricting nightmare in cloth.

Despite his reservations and frustrations with his attire, he knew he couldn't hold it responsible for his current state of uncharacteristic nervousness. What could leave the Saviour of Hyrule, the Banisher of Twilight and the realms greatest protector feeling so out of sorts? Well he had an audience with the princess but he'd already had plenty of those. He had been to the royal chambers before too.

No, what shook and confused him was the lateness of the hour in which he was summoned. He had been assured that she was in no danger or imminent distress, however the messenger had stressed the apparent importance her royal highness had placed on this meeting, a meeting for which he had no clue of its purpose.

What was so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow? Didn't the princess, in all her wisdom, realise the fuel this meeting would add to the rumours flying around the castle, that she and her most favoured knight were madly in love and would soon be announcing their engagement. How did these rumours even start anyway? They were ridiculous… well at least mostly ridiculous…

Link couldn't deny that he was, unfortunately, head over heels for the princess but he found it almost comically absurd to think that she, Princess Zelda, holder of the tri-force of wisdom, ruler of Hyrule would ever feel the same way.

It was also true that Zelda was soon to be married, a calamitous circumstance that, despite his realisation of its inevitability, still left him feeling sick and hopeless. That, however, was almost entirely due to pressure from her council, desperate to stabilise the kingdom with the promise of an heir, and likely, the hope that with an heir, they may be able to keep her from disrupting their council sessions with bright ideas of helping the people instead of just helping themselves. Goddesses only knew how much he despised that bunch of snobbish pricks.

Link held onto the small satisfaction of knowing that Zelda had her own plans of what to do with the council, once crowned queen. He just hoped his heart would survive the despair of seeing her wed another, so he could witness it.

What truly baffled him was that, despite the marriage announcement and wedding day that was now only 6 weeks away, there was still little more than speculation around the lucky groom, most of it revolving around himself. Surely this had all already been planned.

As he'd ruminated Link's legs had slowly, thoughtlessly carried him along the dimly lit corridor, lined with intricate tapestries and paintings, towards the princess's study. Half way to his destined meeting place a particular image caught his eye. It often did as he'd walked this corridor many times in the last year. A magnificent painting in heavy ornate gold frame of three figures he knew all too well and which stirred many a memory. Commissioned by the princess herself to commemorate the anniversary of the end of the twilight invasion and as a tribute to the saviours of Hyrule, it always gave him pause to reflect on what both of them had gone through and the companion they'd lost.

His gaze first fell on the front most figure, blue shield in one hand, sword raised in the other, clad in his famous green and standing tall and proud. The perfect ideal of a hero. Link gave his image a bemused smile as he marvelled at just how much artistic licence had been taken with his appearance, remembering the hours he'd spent posing for it. He had to admit the end result was impressive but, as he'd protested at the time, he didn't understand why he needed to model for it when the artist insisted on changing everything anyway.

His customary hat was noticeably absent, as the painter, one of Hyrule's finest had insisted it detracted from his heroic, noble aura and promptly proceeded to lecture him on knightly and heraldic symbolism, none of which he could now recall. The one thing he could remember was the uncharacteristically unprincessly giggle that had escaped the lips of the usually regal and poised Zelda after Link took Umbridge at the implication that his hat looked "like something the court fool would wear!"

He was also aware that the artist had boosted his height by almost a foot, as it was apparently unseemly for a hero to be shorter than his princess. He had since grown slightly but to his thinly veiled chagrin so had the princess, so he was still about inch shorter than her. He also wished his physique was a little closer to his paint counterpart. It wasn't that he wasn't strong or fit. It was simply that it never seemed to show "that" much. Even his hair had been "tidied" from its usual unruly mess.

Giving one final look to his idealised image his eyes moved on to the smaller form floating next to him, the reason the painting was in the private royal chambers and not on public display. Hoovering to his right at about chest height was the diminutive impish frame of the twilight princess herself, Midna, complete with her characteristic mischievous grin. He had to hand it to the artist that he managed to get a surprising likeness despite only having his and Zelda's descriptions of her and rough sketch by Link to work from. Unfortunately, this miraculous skill could not be appreciated outside the royal wing as it was Midna's inclusion that had led to the painting being here.

Despite her many heroic contributions to the liberation of Hyrule, Midna was never the less a Twilli and therefore seen by many as a member of the invaders and it was decided that, to avoid a potential public outcry, the painting would be held in the royal chambers. Zelda had also been somewhat taken aback that the Twilight princess was presented in her cursed imp form, feeling it to be disrespectful to her status, however link actually thought it apt. While the public may have viewed it as showing her as lesser than her two Hylian compatriots, Link considered it as showing that she achieved greatness despite it. Also, Imp Midna was, to Links mind, the real one and her true Twilli form, while beautiful, was completely at odds with the mischievous, sarcastic, resourceful and sometimes annoying little rebel that he'd come to know and care for. She had been his best friend, confidante and guide during his adventure and by the end he'd grown to see her is his second surrogate sister.

Her sudden departure at the end of their long adventure had left Link reeling but time had helped to heal that wound along with many others earned throughout his adventures. Time wasn't the only healer, as he fortunately had someone to share his pain. One much wiser than him and more acquainted with loss. The third person in the painting. The very lady who was currently expectant of his arrival for a seemingly urgent matter.

Never the less Link couldn't help but glance at her image in the painting. Ever beautiful and regal, she stood in her traditional royal dress of purple and white, her head held high, hair blowing majestically in the wind. In one hand she held a golden bow, even more elaborate than the real one and in the other she was summoning light arrows which illuminated her delicately sculpted face. Her form, while every bit as royal and magnificent as one would expect was at the back of the trio, a request made by Zelda herself as she felt least deserving of credit for the downfall of the twilight. Indeed, Link had to persuade her that she should even be included, only succeeding by offering her an ultimatum, namely that he would only take part if she did.

As his gaze fixed on her face he concluded, as he always did, that for all her beauty in the painting, it paled in comparison to the real princess… who he should have been meeting a few minutes ago.

Now he knew he was just stalling because the fact was, while he couldn't be sure, he suspected whatever Zelda had to say it couldn't be good news. It had been almost a month to the day since she had delivered the revelation that the whole marriage rumour wasn't entirely inaccurate. He thought she considered him among her closest friends and confidantes which was, he suspected, why she revealed as much as she did. What if this meeting was to announce the identity of her betrothed! Such a calamity would be too much to bare. He'd rather hear that Ganondorf had returned! "Okay, maybe not that!" he mumbled under his breath.

The princess was not a giddy naïve young girl incapable of restraining her excitement. Indeed some, generally those who didn't know her as Link did, had come to name her the "ice Princess". Such a title was at odds with the princess as he knew her. She may seem to outsiders to be distant and reserved but that was just a veil. Zelda was compassionate, kind, wise, patient, graceful, innocent, beautifu… "ok heart, that's too much gushing already" Link mentally kicked himself. Anyway the point was she wouldn't suddenly request for him to meet her in private just to tell him that.

"Enough thinking, Link, time for action!" Link could almost hear Midna's voice chastising him from the painting. He turned to her image, her impish grin so life like that he couldn't help a slightly sarcastic response "Right as always Midna, well, time to see the princess, wish me luck".

With that he gathered his courage and resolve and strode down the corridor to meet his princess.


	2. Trial by Candlelight

**AN: I do not own Legend of Zelda, all legal and intellectual rights for source belong to Nintendo**

**Chapter 1 – Trial by Candlelight**

Link knocked twice and waited. There was a moments silence and he considered knocking again when Zelda's reply drifted through the wood, few clues as to her temperament as she uttered just three words "Enter sir Link". His one sign that she wasn't over the moon with whatever had prompted his summoning was her use of his title, which she had a habit of dropping if she was excited or happy, at least in private.

The elaborate wooden door yawned and creaked as he slipped into the study, closing it behind him. "Your highness?" Link called uncertainly as he surveyed the study in search of her. He knew the room well as his meetings with the princess had become almost a weekly tradition since his knighting ten months prior. He was not used to seeing it in this light however. The room, usually bathed in sunlight, was now only illuminated by an intricate gold chandelier in the centre of the perfectly square room and a hearty flame crackling beneath a finely carved stone fireplace. A fine oak writing desk sat off to the left the fireplace, from which the princess herself was noticeably absent. A waist high stack of papers next to the desk marked the princess's work for the day.

Every available wall was concealed by rows of mahogany book cases filled to the brim with volumes on every aspect of Hyrule law, along with the occasional out of place novel for Zelda's rare but much valued moments of rest.

While the walls were overpopulated floor space was sparsely covered. The floor was bedecked in deep red carpet, a luxury compared to those of stone and wood in the rest of the castle, however there was little in the way of furniture to conceal it. Apart from Zelda's desk in the corner accompanied by stately chair on each side, the only other furniture was a low round table and a strange chair that Zelda had once informed him was called a Méridienne.

While still scanning the room, now sure where his Princess was, his attention was caught by two items on the round table, glinting in the flickering glow of the fire. A bottle of wine and a wine glass. Did the Princess drink in the evenings? Given her regular sparring matches with the council and the endless floods of paper work he couldn't blame her, but he'd frankly never taken her as the type to indulge in such things.

Link picked up the bottle and glass and examined them. The bottle was clearly opened however the glass had not been use. He gave a sniff and his heightened senses, a remnant of his time as a wolf picked up the scent of a fine sweet vintage, obviously of the highest quality and expense.

His nose then picked up the tell-tale perfume of the lady who summoned him, carried by a soft cool breeze, guiding his eyes up to the open doorway to the balcony. He knew the fragrance far better than he should and its effects were far more potent than they'd any right to be. Leaning over the end of the balcony, silhouetted against the expanse of Hyrule fields by the last red rays of the setting sun, the sky above a deep purple was Princess Zelda gazing out over the landscape.

Link, forgetting the bottle and glass still in his hands, stepped into the doorway, casting a shadow out onto the twilit balcony. "I trust I did not disturb your rest at this hour, Sir Link" came Zelda's bell like voice from the dark figure and he noticed the movement of her briefly glance at him over her shoulder, before returning to the sight of Hyrule field rapidly fading into the approaching night. Her tone was hospitable and carried the barest trace of mirth and yet there seemed to be something missing, something he'd noticed at their last two meetings. And there was his title again!?

"I do not consider it disturbance if I can aid you, my lady" he responded in his, now signature, gruff baritone, another gift from his wolf days, trying to mask any sense of unease he may have felt with her address. "Always the dutiful and noble hero…" she quipped wryly before adding "and yet, here you stand, blocking my entry to my warm home on this cold evening, carrying a bottle of the finest wine no less. Some might think you were trying to tempt me Sir."

Link narrowly avoided dropping the bottle in shock but failed to save his jaw, which fell to the floor. He had on several occasions been under the misapprehension the Zelda was flirting with him, but had always dismissed them as his lovesick heart playing tricks on him.

His pure and innocent princess's uncharacteristic smirk as she emerged into the light almost had him questioning that assertion. Already in shock from her comment, he then did a double take when he saw her attire. The dress was essentially the same however her golden ornamental Pauldrons were missing leaving her shoulders and neck bare while her white skirt seemed to be missing its underlayers, making it almost slightly transparent. The effect was positively scandalous and could almost be mistaken for a nightgown!

Mind still spinning from the reveal, Links eyes found the almost empty glass of wine in her hand. "You drink?!" Link squeaked about an octave higher than his natural voice. Of course, he'd seen her drink at formal balls and celebrations but this was quite different. Drinking in public was one thing, drinking in private, in the evening, in what could count as nightwear was something else entirely.

Zelda merely held out the glass before nonchalantly replying "are you offering a refill, sir?" Link was too stunned to refuse her, pour her half a glass of the rose-coloured liquid. With that she nodded thanks and then, without another word, glided almost ethereally past him, her bare shoulder accidently brushing up against his clothed one. Link shivered but it wasn't from the cool breeze.

Turning and watching her graceful steps as she made her way to her writing desk, he was painfully aware that she seemed to have a little extra sway in her hips. That was an image that would be permanently burned into his brain. Did the Princess not realise what she was doing to him. With that Link made an executive decision. He may be the barer of the Tri-force of courage, who had fought all manner of beasts without quaking, but even he required some liquid courage on occasion.

His glass was quickly filled and was half way to his lips, ready to be swallowed in one swig, when Zelda, without even looking, mildly chided him "that wine is for indulging in, not drowning in hero, savour it". Zelda always seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to him. She always knew when he was near and often what he was doing without needing to see. Was this due to the tri-force of wisdom tipping her off or was it an unseen bond between them due to both baring pieces of it?

Whatever it was he was resigned to the fact that he'd never be able to keep any secrets from her. Not that he'd generally desire to, however there are some situations where discretion could require it. He just prayed that she hadn't figured out his feelings for her. Oh the scandal if it ever got out. A former goatherd falling for the royal princess. Only in fairy tales would that have a happy ending. He would be a laughing stock and she would probably receive a share of the ridicule by association, that was if she wasn't laughing as well.

With those thoughts dampening his mood, he found himself no longer in need of the whole glass and so took her advice and sipped. He had to admit it would have been a great disservice to consume too quickly. It was a deliciously delectable vintage. One thing he could say of his transformation from goatherder to knight, his vocabulary had certainly improved.

"Have you savoured that wine enough to perhaps sit, Sir link?" Came Zelda's slightly impatient voice, snapping Link back to reality. The reality that Princess Zelda had requested his presence at night, in her private study, in what could constitute a night dress "Sorry your highness" Link hurriedly apologised and rushed to the seat across the desk from Zelda, in the vain hope that sitting down would subdue the butterflies in his stomach or bring a sense of normality to the current situation.

"You are forgiven" Zelda said in a far warmer tone and briefly he saw the light that had been missing every since her whole marriage reveal. Well actually it was after he'd foolishly let his foolish heart talk him into taking her stargazing. There was a brief pause before Zelda continued "indeed it would be hard to find a situation for which I could not forgive you…" and then with sigh "provided you are willing to confess."

Link appreciated her words; however, he couldn't shake the feeling that her final words had been implying something. Indeed, she seemed to be waiting expectantly for some sort of response as her sapphire blue eyes gazed almost imploringly into his, begging him to answer. Unfortunately, no answer was forthcoming, as Link racked his brains for anything the Princess may wish for him to confess, only to come back emptier handed than Fado trying to round up goats.

The silence hung between them as she continued to wait in misguided hope and link continued to flounder for the answer she sought. None was produced, not even the wrong one. She only gave up when she noticed that Link's eyes suddenly fixed, trance-like, on one of her fingers tracing the rim of her wine glass. At least that's what Link hoped she'd thought to be his reason for staring rather than the faint pink lipstick mark on the glass.

Zelda sighed again and glanced round them room before focusing back on him with an unreadable expression and asked "Link, how do you feel about marrying… I mean, me getting married?" Alarm bells went off in Link's brain and he instantly scrambled for a way to redirect the question lest he reveal his desire to wring the lucky groom's neck for stealing her away or his hopeless dreams of being the groom himself.

Link decided the best response was to question the question, otherwise known as playing dumb. "What do you mean?" he asked with feigned gormlessness.

Zelda blinked in disbelief but never the less tried rephrasing "how do you feel about the idea of me getting married?"

"I'm not sure, it depends" Link dodged.

"Depends on what, Link?" Zelda pursued.

"The Suitor" Link stated bluntly.

"And why does that concern you" Zelda probed.

Part of him wanted to say "because I love you and if that suitor were anyone but me, my heart would break" however the bigger part of him didn't feeling like demolishing his life and reputation just yet. Instead he simply opted for being honest while omitting certain details, stating "because the suitor would have to be worthy of you, and I'm not just talked about class or rank. Marriage should be just as much about happiness as about duty and your suitor should be one who can achieve both. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you Zelda!" he finished with unintended passion.

Link realised it was soppy sentimentality but most things that come from the heart are, or at least from his heart. He just hoped he hadn't revealed too much. His Princess was giving him a probing look as if trying to decipher some ancient puzzle, making him feel as though she was trying to read his mind.

After a long pause Zelda said "Would it interest you to know that I have not yet picked a suitor." Link was shocked and without thinking launched into another passionate speech "Why, have none proposed? I would have thought every eligible bachelor, and even some less eligible, would be lining up for the honour. Any man would be…"

"And what about you, Link?" Zelda cut him off, continuing what began to feel like some kind of interrogation.

Time to play dumb again "I don't quite follow, Princess."

Zelda's eyebrows knitted together and with a clipped tone of growing frustration asked "Would you consider it an honour to take my hand in marriage?"

"I stand by what I said" Link equivocated, not meeting Zelda's piercing gaze.

"Which you didn't finish" Zelda snapped.

"Because you didn't let me!" Link barked back before remembering his place and mumbling an apology.

Zelda waved away his apology as unnecessary, taking a breath to calm herself and making her own apology before making a simple plaintive entreaty "Please, finish."

"I merely meant to say that any man would be incredibly lucky to have you as their wife" Link mumbled realising the potential implications of such an admission but unable to refuse the Princess's imploring tone.

"And would you?" She probed again.

"I stand by what I said" He deflected again.

"And you have nothing more to add, nothing you'd like to admit?"

"No, your highness"

Zelda's eyebrows had joined once more and with a tone of growing exasperation she decide to change tack. "Would it interest you to know that I have plenty of suitors?" she asked followed by a pregnant pause, that she was clearly expecting him to fill with a response.

He offered none.

Pressure was clearly building as she cut the silence once more "it just so happens that none of them would fulfil the dual qualities you so passionately expressed." Emphasising the final words and waiting once again. Link went slightly red but did not interject.

"I have, however, found someone who, I believe, holds the ability to balance duty and happiness." Links could feel his heart crack at that statement, trying to mask it from his face. It couldn't get much worse. Never the less it would do him no good to say it now.

"Unfortunately" Zelda continued, exasperation reaching critical levels "I cannot deal with this matter of the suitor until I've dealt with the matter of the crime…"

"What?!" Link exclaimed

"Committed by you!"

It just got worse!


	3. The need to know

**Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda**

**A.N: This chapter has been a nightmare to write. I'm still not entirely happy with it but I doubt I'll ever get it perfect so here we are. I just hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter 2 – The need to know**

Link was baffled, befuddled and fifty other varieties of confused.

"C. , what Crime?!" he spluttered incredulously and tried to jump to his feet. It was then that he felt something constrict round his chest and arms and for once it wasn't his blasted doublet. Looking down he found himself bound to the chair by golden glowing ropes wrapped around his torso and arms.

After a brief but futile struggle he turned his sights to his captor. Princess Zelda had risen from her chair and now stood leaning over the desk, propped up by her arms, the tell-tale glow of the tri-force shining through the fabric of one of her white gloves. Her eyes were blazed with a multitude of emotions, that should have been easy for Link to read and yet he had his misgivings, as the main emotion he'd expect, namely anger was notably missing. Instead the two dominating emotions seemed to be frustration and… triumph?!

Link's mind worked overtime to find answers, both to his princess's irrational and uncharacteristic behaviour as well as his apparent crime. After a few seconds frantic mental scrambling he had an idea that spilled forth from his lips before he had time to think.

"it's not about those bloody pots, is it?!" he winced at the utter vulgarity of the statement. He never swore, especially not in her presence!

"Watch your tongue, Link, you are speaking to…" Zelda snapped, before the pressure valve in her furrowed brow was momentarily alleviated as her eyebrows suddenly shot up in surprise and confusion "… Pots, what pots?"

Well now he'd certainly put his foot in it! There was no going back now. Time to confess. "During the twilight invasion, I smashed pots, hundreds of them!" Unfortunately, this did little to clear up the matter as Zelda remained just as baffled, however her steadily descending brows were an indication that his window for clarification was rapidly closing.

"At the time, being a poor goatherder, I had little currency and even in a time of crisis people still demand it, so if I was to complete my mission I'd have to find some. I found that many pots had Rupees or other useful items stashed away that I couldn't reach, so I smashed them. Some were in temples, some were in villages and some were even in the castle!" He concluded, before realising the potential implication and hastily adding "I only used the rupees I had to aid in my adventures and once it was over I donated the remainder to various charitable activities in aid of the rebuilding process." Link was actually surprised and proud of himself for such a succinct answer. Clearly attending all those council sessions with Zelda weren't as pointless as he'd thought.

While Link had been impressed with his answer, Zelda remained thoroughly unsatisfied, the storm cloud above her head reaching new heights and her brows practically fusing together. "I don't give a damn about some crusty old pots, Link!" she cried in agitation, shocking Link with her own vulgarity, before adding in a low, almost conspiratorial, whisper "although, that can certainly be added to the evidence of your kleptomania."

"My kleptomania?!" He exclaimed in horror.

"Yes Link, you…" Zelda began only for Link to cut her off with another sudden idea.

"Is this about my fishing in Lake Hylia, I know it's not technically…"

"No, NO, NO!" Zelda yelled in exasperation, her pressure gauge now at breaking point.

"Then I don't know what…"

"Cease your feigned ignorance, Link, I am tired of it!" Zelda exploded, leaning right over the table almost to his eye level, a movement with an unintended side effect. A side effect to which Zelda, in her passion and frustration, was seemingly oblivious, but to which Link, with all his willpower was battling desperately to ignore for the sake of her dignity. Mercifully Zelda relinquished her unintended torture after several seconds, almost panting from the explosion of raw unbridled emotion that Link suspected had been building for some time, though he knew not why.

The situation had suddenly become so surreal that Link began to seriously wonder whether this was all a bizarre dream. He would have pinched himself, had he not been bound. All he could bring himself to do was gawk in stunned silence at his Princess's sudden mania.

Link's expression seemed to break Zelda from the euphoric release of her emotional firework display, bringing her back to reality with a crash. The princess, who had mere moments earlier erupted like death mountain on a bad day, was suddenly sheepish. She broke her gaze from Link's, instead looking down and fumbling awkwardly with her dress, trying to straighten out non-existent creases. She slumped back into her chair, with a sigh and tried to regain her composure. Link continued his stunned silence and the only sound left was the crackling of the fire. Stillness filled the room, the only signs of life being the dancing flame.

After what felt like an age, Zelda picked up her glass of wine and took a comforting sip before meeting link's eyes once more. "Link" she addressed, all harshness dissipating from her to be replaced with an earnest compassionate plea "I summoned you to deal with a matter most serious. It has hung over us for many months, far too long…" Link, while appreciative of her more considerate approach, was no less baffled but let her continue, hoping this mystery would clear itself.

"I didn't bring it up sooner, because I hoped your nobility would bring you to do the honourable thing and confess to it. Alas you instead proceeded to torment me with it."

"torment you?!" Link exclaimed, aghast that the thought that some action he'd taken had caused Zelda such pain. That was of course, If Link had actually done whatever it was, however he was beginning to wonder whether foul play could be involved. Perhaps one of the council members had framed him for something in the hopes stripping him of his title. You could never tell with them.

"Link, you stole something most personal and precious to me, something that none other has ever even touched… something that once stolen you cannot return without breaking…"

While he may have been befuddled as to the nature of the object she was accusing him of stealing, the fact that she was accusing him of theft of all things was all the evidence he needed to know he must have been framed. Had she accused him of poor etiquette or traipsing mud through the castle halls she would have had a justifiable case and he would admit and accept his punishment. This however he had to fight, not only for himself but also his princess as, whatever this conspiracy was, it could put her in danger.

Zelda meanwhile continued her plea, unaware that Link's wasn't 100% with her speech. "I told you earlier that I could forgive you anything, should you have the heart to confess, and I meant it Link… Please just confess, put away your pride or whatever else it is that's holding you back so that we can finally move on… together." Zelda's look and words seemed sincere compassionate and, had Link not been wise to his own hopeless hearts attempts to deceive him, loving.

He almost wished he could confess, just in the hope of seeing her smile but he knew there was something far more serious afoot. He had to protect his princess and that required convincing her of his innocence and that he was being framed, for purposes unknown.

His princess waited expectantly in silence, her imploring impassioned gaze promising understanding and safety. Link met this with his most grave expression and gave her his most urgent appeal "Zelda, please, listen to me, I do not know why but clearly someone has framed me for this crime. I would never willingly steal from you or wish you torment. I lo… I… you mean too much to me." Link mentally kicked himself as he'd come dangerously close to blowing it, pausing briefly for breath. He was about to launch into telling her of the possible danger when Zelda, with an expression of despair and exasperation that she was trying to restrain, cut him off.

"Link, no one has framed you. I know it was you who took it because I witnessed it, in person, and you have been in possession of it ever since and indeed have used it for the express purpose of toying with me!" She cried out in annoyance, her tone reminding him of her failed attempts at teaching him some of the more complex aspects of Hyrule legal system, which she'd insisted he may need in the future. He couldn't see why.

Zelda however hadn't quite finished yet, adding indignantly "unless you are suggesting that you are not the person who I have met on an almost daily basis in some capacity since knighting you, or perhaps that the princess of Hyrule is delusional!" Despite her heated accusation it was clear that the main source of her ire was his lack of understanding, rather than the crime for which she was accusing him.

Link was stumped. They'd been arguing for what seemed like an age at yet he had still only possessed meagre scraps of information. He didn't even know what he'd apparently stolen. The princess seemed to be reluctant to say. Time to be direct.

"Zelda, what have I stolen?"

"I'm sorry?!" Zelda gasped, seemingly taken aback by his direct question.

He repeated "what have I stolen?"

"It's very personal, Link" Zelda snapped defensively.

"but I need to know."

"it is against a lady's dignity to say" Zelda dismissed, shifting uncomfortably before desperately and sincerely pleading that he must know "surely you must know, surely you recognised the signs, the hints. There's nothing more I can say. Your confession is the heart of the matter."

Then suddenly her entire demeanour shifted and the devious smirking temptress he'd met on the balcony earlier that evening reappeared. "I guess you leave me no choice but to prove your kleptomania. I mean, you practically admitted it with the pots" she purred teasingly.

Link suddenly found himself doing his best impression of a cross between a fish and a tomato, momentarily speechless. Eventually he regained his voice and tried state as calmly and coolly as possible "but I would never steal anything from you, princess, never"

"well that's a lie if ever there was one." Zelda scoffed, yet her playful tone did not dissipate. "You have taken plenty from me. I'm just generous enough not to punish you for it. Perhaps I should punish you later" she said, delivering the last line in a low sultry voice.

"I want proof" Link demanded, decidedly nervous, although he couldn't be sure whether it was more from the thought of being a criminal or the almost predatory way his princess seemed to be eyeing him. It certainly didn't help that she still had him bound.

"Oh, I'll give you proof Link, and I will have my confession." The princess cooed suggestively.

Link gulped.

"Let's started at the beginning shall we. Do you remember our first meeting in Ordon"


	4. Ordinary Ordon

**A.N: I would just like to say thanks for all the feedback, favourites and follows. A couple of people have expressed that I may have miscategorised this by listing it as drama rather than humour, which shows that clearly, I'd done something right! I'm glad to hear that people are enjoying that side of the story and actually find it funny. I was dreadfully worried that it would all fall hideously flat.**

**Anyway I had suspected I may have a few people saying that (provided the humour actually worked) and had in fact been verging on categorising as humour myself. The fact though was that I knew there would be some dramatic or more serious moments in the story at some point and didn't want to fool people into thinking it was all light and humorous. I'll always try to add a bit of humour but there will be some heavier chapters.**

**Starting with this angsty little number. Bring on the angst, Baby!**

**Chapter 3 – Ordinary Ordon**

Ordon – 99 days AG (after Ganondorf)

The late afternoon sun bathed Ordon ranch in a soft light that heralded imminent approach of sunset, and the time he dreaded, Twilight.

Link, clad in his green tunic and signature hat, sat at the edge of the field, a sketch pad in his lap adding the finishing touches to what must have been his hundredth goat. This was probably his tenth drawing of this particular goat, a stubborn nanny he'd nicknamed Midna for her rebellious and tempestuous nature. He couldn't quite understand what masochistic force had possessed him to add to the list of reminders of his lost twilight princess. Her departure was still an open wound, one that neither his mind or time seemed to want closed, almost for fear that, with its closure, his memories of his great friend would be lost.

Midna and her many heroic sacrifices needed and deserved to be remembered, and no one else was going to give her that honour. Well there was the other princess, Zelda, but she had her own pressures and burdens and did not deserve another burden. He just hoped that her memories of the torment she endured during the Twilight faded faster than his were. She had the seemingly impossible tasking of residing over the rebuilding of Hyrule and had made her own sacrifices too. She would be struggling with many duties already and carrying Midna's memory shouldn't be among them.

No, it was down to him as he had no duty now, nothing to do other than herd goats and carry her memory. That would be his new duty, his new curse. "After all" he muttered bitterly "I need a new one after losing my wolf form."

His adventures in Twilight had changed him irreversibly mentally but also physically. He may no longer be able to transform but it would seem his heighten wolf senses had not gone. Link could, of course, hear the sound the goats in the field but his ears could also pick up on the light breeze, the rustle of trees and chattering of birds preparing to roost all the way from Faron woods. He could also catch the faint gurgling of Faron Spring and the sound of some of the children, though he couldn't tell who, playing down in Ordon Village.

His sight was also improved and his wolf ability to understand and even communicate with animals seemed to have been retained in a limited capacity. Certainly, his partnership with his faithful stead Epona was stronger than ever, and the goats were easier to predict, except Midna!

One sense that he really didn't appreciate was smell. He never realised just how badly goats smelled, and that wasn't even considering their droppings. Link had resorted to finding ways to try and wash them, although he generally couldn't do that without taking them to the village stream, which his friends didn't particularly appreciate.

"Friends" The word seemed hollow to him, and he had to wonder if they still even saw him as such. Most of his physical changes were invisible, apart from his new gruff baritone voice, but his shifting personality, that was plain for all to see.

Where he had once been patient, calm and collected, he was now jittery, high strung and brooding with a tendency towards irrational outbursts. He was in a near constant state of agitation when he was in the village, feeling suffocated by its smallness, even coming to resent the villagers continued reliance on him, that had once brought him much pride. He hated himself for that. He had tried travelling out for short periods but that didn't seem to aid his troubled mind.

He'd become a ghost to the rest of the village, only traveling between his house and the ranch or the spring, never engaging in conversation unless spoken to. The only person he didn't avoid, his sole confidante, was Rusl, his mentor and the closest he had to a father figure. Rusl was the only one who knew the extent of his adventures and their impacts both on Hyrule and himself, and Link had made him promise to keep it that way.

Unfortunately, Rusl was an even rarer sight in Ordon than Link was nowadays, as he now worked in Castle town and the surrounding area. The resistance hadn't simply disbanded after Ganondorf's defeat as Link would have predicted but instead had morphed into a citizen's branch of Hyrule's law enforcement to help keep order while Hyrule recovered. Rusl had repeatedly tried to persuade Link to join, citing his suspected reasons as to Links feelings being grief, a lack of purpose and too much time to dwell on it. Link, while suspecting he was at least partly correct, would always politely decline, with some feeble line about Ordon being his home and his responsibility.

This would then prompt a lecture from Rusl, on the true meaning of home, fulfilment and the need to move on, dissecting every lame rebuttal Link attempted. He would also bring up how he'd met the princess, as she'd given the new resistance her Royal backing, and that she had been inquiring after Link. Rusl seemed to think that the chance to meet the Princess again would help but Link seriously doubted it. It would likely bring flashbacks of her possession or watching her life fade as she sacrificed herself for Midna. Link shuddered at the thought.

Rusl didn't know about the nightmares. No one did. How he could rarely get more than a couple of hours rest before jumping awake, racked with anxiety, covered in cold sweat and short on breath. Moments later the shame would hit him. The shame that he, the apparent barer of the tri-force of courage, could be ruled by his own nightmares. Was he even worthy of the tri-force of courage anymore?

Links brooding was cut short as he was stirred from his thoughts by repeated nuzzles from Epona. "alright, girl, alright" he sighed heavily before stumbling rather ungainly to his feet. It was approaching sunset and that meant time for the goats to return to the barn, not to mention Epona was probable hungry. Grass, to her, was all well and good but Link knew well that she much preferred a nice juicy apple or a carrot.

"Well, girl, lets to work" he said patting her neck before swinging into the saddle "when we get back I'll get you some apples, sound good." Epona gave a hearty neigh in response and had already turned towards their targets before he'd even tugged the reins. "honestly, Epona, I'm pretty sure you could easily manage this without me, I could have had another five minutes brooding time and you could have had your apples earlier" Link gibed lightly, prompting a snort from the chestnut brown mare.

With that, the duo set about the task of harrying the goats back into their pens for the night. The goats were remarkably co-operative this evening, surprisingly even Midna who usually gave them quite the run-around, headed for the barn almost without prompting. Link initially thought of it as small act of divine luck. He had beaten the sunset, although not by much and twilight was looming.

It was only as Link closed the gate to their pen when he sensed the fear. They hadn't been co-operating. They had been fleeing to safety. Then the wind changed and that was when he heard it. A sound that made his blood run cold. From the direction of the he heard the sound of many unified heavy footfalls and the clattering of metal.

What he'd feared most had come to pass. It was happening again. Another invasion! Links pulse raised and he found himself struggling for air, bracing against the gate as he fought to regain control of his body. Not again!

Links eyes locked onto the sword tied to Epona's saddlebag, the precaution he had kept since his last adventure. Without even waiting for his breath to return he ran for it, stumbling drunkenly and crashing into the saddlebag startling Epona, who whinnied in distress. Hands shaking violently, he fumbled with the harness to release the sword before frantically but erratically strapping it to his belt.

Heart pounding in his ears, he leaped onto Epona and spurred her into a gallop, jumping the ranch gate and racing off towards the village. He gripped the hilt of his sword tightly as he fought not to hyperventilate even as the pace of the ride threatened to wind him and his ears began to ring.

The marching boots had stopped and just when he expected to start to hear screaming…

"Citizens of Ordon…" Came a voice he knew well. Commanding yet kind, crisp and clear yet with a, albeit well concealed, trace of fatigue, it could only be her… the Princess… Zelda. With every word of her address came a surprising sense of calm that he found hard to explain. His thundering pulse eased and his chest lightened. With a gentle tug of her reins, Link eased Epona into a trot. Just before he rounded the corner to the entrance of Ordon Village he stopped and dismounted, as he could sense a crowd around the mayor's house and he didn't want to cause alarm.

Rounding the bend, he sighted what looked like the entire population of the village huddled in front of the mayor's house, excitedly yet attentively listening as the princess, standing apart from what seemed to be a sizable escort of soldiers behind her, delivered her speech.

Link approached slowly, drawn like a moth to a flame by the sound of her voice, not even fully aware of his actions, certainly not considering the fact that he was carrying a sword and approaching the most heavily guarded being in the kingdom.

Several sets of eyes had locked on to him and he could vaguely hear the sound of clanking metal but he didn't react. Then Zelda turned to him and Link stopped in his tracks… and so it seems, did time.

She looked just as she had when she'd summoned the four light spirits, the brief moment of calm before the final battle. Despite the distance still between them, the rest of the world seemed to fall away as he found himself lost in her blue eyes. She had offered him trust and assurance then and from her warm gaze and just the trace of a smile she offered him peace now.

Zelda place a white gloved hand on her heart and gracefully bowed to him just as she had before and Link could almost hear her words from that fateful moment "Link… Chosen hero! Lend us the last of your power." He began to reach out as he had done then, only retreating when he was greeted with just a single word that left her lips as little more than a whisper yet carried so much emotion. "Link" came her soft dulcet tones, holding within admiration and warmth yet haunted by melancholy.

Link held her gaze but for a moment longer and noticed the weariness and regret hidden in beautiful sapphire blue. She carried herself with such grace and serenity and yet he could feel how exhausted she was behind her mask of marble perfect. Not wishing to be rude Link bowed low, albeit without much grace, and gave a hushed "Princess" in return before meeting her eyes once more. Even Epona tried her own little head nod of respect.

Then everything was still.

Despite their differences, despite barely knowing each other, they'd seemed to share a moment. He didn't know what it meant but he wanted to hold this moment, this connection for as long as possible. To draw from its strength as she had once drawn from his.

The goatherder and the princess.

A moment of calm…

And…

Suddenly the peaceful silence was rent by the wheeze of an approaching gasbag!

"How dare you address her royal highness in such an informal and disrespectful manner!" Bursting through the ranks of soldiers behind Zelda came a man whose goal in life was clearly to achieve perfect symmetry between height and width, and by his current appearance he was well on his way to succeeding. The human jelly ball waddled towards Link bellowing with a voice like a rusty iron gate and brandished an accusing finger at him "Peasant, didn't your parents teach you the proper way to address your betters!"

Pompous and grating, the man's words embedded in Links ears like grains of sand, scratching at his nerves, even as the man sought to look down his nose at Link, a tricky proposition given they were both the same height. As if his self-important manner and plum accent hadn't given away his "noble" credentials, he flushed out his already expansive stomach, in an effort to highlight the trio of medals that adorned his highly ornate, and practically bursting, tunic. Epona snorted in contempt.

Link should have been incensed, not only at such bull-headed belligerency and arrogance but particularly considering his heritage, and yet he was left merely simmering with mild outrage. It must have been Zelda's calming influence, because he had no idea how he hadn't hit this idiot let alone hold his tongue. Despite his remarkable restraint he did not wish to tempt fate so, before he saw red, he switched back to the infinitely more pleasant sight of Zelda, in the hope of gaining strength from her regal composure.

Zelda's small smile had vanished replaced by a thin dignified line as she tried not to scowl at the obnoxious nobleman. "and that Lord Halshaw…" Zelda's voice, terse yet steady, was laced with warning as she admonished him "Is no way to address the Hero of Hyrule!"

Links stomach dropped as all eyes suddenly fell on him and he heard most of the villagers, particularly the children gasped in shock. His secret was out… well almost. The princess hadn't revealed to much yet. He may be able to brush it off.

The crowd's attention was quickly diverted as Lord Halshaw let out a creaky rattly laugh, like an old cart announcing the imminent divorce from its wheels. "Your royal highness, surely you gest?!" he wheezed seemingly oblivious to said royal highness's growing displeasure. "I assure you, Lord Halshaw I am in no mood for gests" came Zelda's clipped response, the veil covering her annoyance fading as her eyes narrowed.

Lord Halshaw should have taken that as his cue to stop but he endeavoured to dig an even deeper grave for his reputation and his career. White moustache twitching and double chin flapping, he spluttered incredulously "this… this boy, this leafy twig is a hero!" Link barely restrained himself from a comment about a drunk walrus as the Lord continued "I've seen more impressive specimens at the end of one of my hunting arrows, what did he have to fight? a particularly vicious hedgerow!"

Link might have responded, had he not witnessed the storm building within the Princess. Her shoulders tensed, her hands and jaw were clenched and her farrowed brow cast a shadow over the daggers in her eyes, firmly fixed on the Lord. Her voice remained steady and controlled, however her dark tone was enough to make even Link shiver "Lord Halshaw…" She addressed coldly and with acidic bite "this "leafy twig" has achieved more for Hyrule in a matter of months than your entire noble bloodline has since it was conceived. He has made great sacrifices and endured far more than most men ever face. He has travelled the length and breadth of this land and battled many powerful beings of great evil intent. He is the reason Twilight does not cover this land and he is deserving of your absolute and upmost respect…"

Throughout Zelda's speech, Link was graced with a feeling he hadn't experienced since the end of his adventure. Pride! He greedily gorged on the sensation like a starving beggar presented with a banquet. Quickly however his feast turned sour as he suddenly became aware of many eyes watching, focused squarely on him. Then reality came crashing in as he met with the gawking stares of amazement and shock, from almost every witness, villager or soldier. His secret was out.

The princess had just opened her mouth to continue admonishing the Lord, whose bluster had been thoroughly squashed, when she caught Link's abrupt mood swing from proud to downcast and paused to collect herself. The storm cloud broke and a rainbow briefly appeared as her eyes softened and she gave Link an apologetic look. Did she know what she'd done? Taking a breath to regain some composure, seemingly shaken back to the realisation that their dispute was on public display, she turned her attention back to a fuming Lord Halshaw.

"Lord Halshaw, you may be of noble blood but that does not negate your responsibility to treat ALL Hyrule's Citizens with respect and courtesy. By publicly insulting Link, an upstanding member of his community, you have insulted the entire community. I expect this to be rectified. As such, you will start by apologising to Link and then will spend the remaining time till noon tomorrow preparing a public statement where by you will demonstrate the respect and support that this community deserves." The affronted Lord opened his mouth to protest but the princess would not allow it. "Does her royal highness make herself absolutely clear?" Crisp, dignified and stern as if scolding a disobedient child, Zelda's words went unchallenged by the noble.

With almost physical pain from the humiliation, he mumbled a feeble and insincere apology before holding out his hand for Link to shake. Link would have normally been inclined to decline such an unfelt apology, but he sensed the princess might see that as somewhat petty, so he settled for making the pompous oaf wince by "accidentally" crushing his hand.

Zelda's lips twitched for a moment but she did not comment.

After rather longer than necessary Link finally released his vice like grip and nodded with smile as insincere as his boorish nemesis' apology, only then noticing his hat, lying on the floor. He could only imagine it must have vacated his crown when he bowed to the princess. He left it there not wishing to interrupt her.

Zelda seemingly satisfied, turned to face Lord Halshaw, her mask of prim and proper princessly perfection firmly re-established. "Lord Halshaw, please see to it that your men set up camp just outside the village. We do not wish to create undue disruption" She commanded, before adding with slight amusement "oh and don't forget to plan that speech tomorrow, I await it with great expectations."

Having received his orders, the now thoroughly tarred and feathered man trudged off towards the soldiers, muttering under his breath. While his words were likely beyond Zelda's ears, they weren't beyond Links. He bristled as more bile leaked from the vile man's lips, concerning a certain "son of a whore", but to his own surprise, he was most enraged by the insults made about Zelda.

An instinct, more wolf than man, stirred in Link. A need to protect the princess, at any cost! His hands balled into fists and a feral growl was building deep in his belly, threatening to escape at any moment. Lord Halshaw had already started bellowing orders to the soldiers to move out when the feeling hijacked Link's rational brain. He was about to storm after the blaggard when yet again Zelda's soothing tones rescued him from his own demons.

"Link, I wish to offer a personal apology, both for springing this meeting on you and for the atrocious behaviour of Lord Halshaw. His manners were most disgraceful and his actions were abhorrent especially against one as honourable as you, Chosen Hero." Link was unsure how to respond to such kind words, partly as he had no knowledge in matters of etiquette regarding royalty but more importantly with the realisation that these would be his first words to her, barring his greeting, since the end of his adventure. He was taken off guard all the more when Zelda gracefully knelt down in front of him and retrieved his hat. "The Hero should not be without his hat" she stated, again with her small dignified smile.

Link was thunderstruck. Surely there was some sort of law against the princess kneeling in front of anyone for any reason, even picking up a hat. It was positively scandalous, particularly in front of an audience and they certainly had one. Never the less he knew he couldn't bring that up and he couldn't stay silent either. After some deliberation he settled on the grossly insubstantial response of "Thank you, your highness", assuming that was the correct term of address and bowed once again. There was another pause

"Would you care to accompany me, Link, as I get acquainted with your friends and fellow citizens?" Zelda asked with a hint of hope… and uncertainty.

Link was surprised and slightly taken aback at such a forward request from a member of royalty, and a beautiful lady at that. "beautiful lady" Link thought. Where did that come from? It was undeniable that she was beautiful but why did his mind need to flag it up as relevant to his current predicament. He stewed. On the one hand he got to spend his time in the company of the princess, who seemed to have an unexplainable power over his very being, while on the other had the potential danger of being completely consumed by possibly nightmare inducing questions from a villager's inquisition.

Ultimately fear won out and he was left facing the tough task of apologising to the princess having only just met her again. "Errr… I'm sorry your highness, but Epona and I have just finished a hard day on the ranch and if I don't get her home and delivery on the promise of apples and a brush then she's gonna get very grumpy" He mumbled rather awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck briefly before realising and quickly dropping his arm. As he finished his frankly lame excuse, Epona gave an indignant sounding neigh and nuzzled his face as if to say "How dare you use me as your treachery!"

However lame the excuse was, Zelda seemed to accept it, although Link could have sworn he saw a faint hint of disappointment in her expression. It lasted but for a moment and then she was graciously bidding him good evening. "I understand, every noble stead deserves a reward for their service" she remarked fondly, moving in and patting the mare on the neck before stepping back. "Goodnight, Link and Epona, until we meet again." She bowed again and so did he, making sure he didn't lose his hat this time. "Goodnight, Your Highness."

With that Zelda turned to face the crowd and elegantly glided off towards them, Mayor Bo stepping up to greet her. It was dusk now but the moon had already risen, as if to help Link on his way home. Not that he needed it as he had the best night eyesight of anyone. Link took Epona's reins once more and lead her down the path towards his house and away from the villagers thronging round Zelda. The crowd was buzzing with excitement and murmurs however not all of them, he noted, were exclusively about the princess, particularly from the children.

"Link and the Princess, Isn't it romantic?" he heard Beth say dreamily

"No it's not. It's gross" Talo objected

"How can you say that, It's the hero and the princess just like a fairy-tale"

"Fairytales, ha, I'm so much older than you! You know they're not real."

"Says the boy who thinks wolves can't look up"

"Well they can't!"

"I just want to know what Link did." Colin chimed in but was ignored as Beth and Talo were about to engage in a battle to the first cry only to be broken up by Uli.

Link shook his head at their antics and turned back to briefly glance at the crowd with a melancholy smile. He still cared for them all deeply. He just found himself unable to express it. Something was missing, and yet he suddenly felt close to finding it again… with Zelda around.

A pondered what this could mean. It certainly had nothing to do with Beth's fanciful daydreams of fairy-tale romance. They barely knew each other!

Maybe it was the tri-force, bonding them together somehow, or maybe it was some remnant of his wolf side, some bond formed from basic instinct. Whatever it was he couldn't yet say. His gaze fell on Zelda and she happened to look his way. She smiled and nodded before being escorted into Mayor Bo's

Link had the strangest feeling he'd be seeing her again, far sooner than he'd thought.

**A.N: and there you have it. Hope you enjoyed it and the change of setting and tone isn't too jarring. I look forward to feedback and thanks again for reading.**


	5. Moonlight and Gold

**A.N: Another challenging chapter completed to semi-satisfying capacity. Then again I'm rarely 100% happy with the results. Ultimately I hope you enjoy it but as I always say, constructive feedback/criticism is welcome and just as before I don't own Legend Of Zelda.**

**Chapter 4 – Moonlight and gold**

Ordon – 100 days AG (after Ganondorf)

It was shortly after midnight, or so Link assumed.

It would have been a good night for stargazing were it not for the light of the moon, shining particularly bright tonight, covering the village in a carpet of silver. A crisp night breeze reminded him that spring, while on the horizon, had yet to fully conquer winter.

Link sat on the ledge outside his house, listening to the calming sound of the village stream and the rustling of leaves. Beneath him, he could hear Epona chewing on some grass, having taken one of her many brief naps moments earlier. He sometimes wished he required as little sleep as she seemed to. It would certainly mean less time to face his nightmares.

Tonight, however was different as it wasn't his fear of sleep that kept him awake but the events of the previous evening. He'd been left with much to ponder after his unexpected meeting with Princess Zelda… and that obnoxious Lord Cocksure or whatever his name was. He chose not to dwell on him and instead focus on the princess and her strange effect on him.

To say that the meeting hadn't turned out how he would have predicted was an understatement. Rather than being racked with fear, haunted by images of the princess as a macabre puppet or faced with her lifeless form after her sacrifice, he was instead brought back to the moment where she had been saved, albeit with Ganondorf still alive and baring down on them. Instead of the two moments in his adventure where he'd thought himself a failure for not saving her, he'd been gifted with the moment when she'd given him the strength to know he would succeed, not just in saving her but the whole kingdom.

It put many of his thoughts into a new perspective and he began to wonder what it was that was actually holding him back. He thought again of Zelda's speech about his achievements and realised that he had never truly taken stock of all he had done in his adventures. Why was that? With all these great deeds behind him, why was he dominated by a voice telling him he didn't deserve credit for them?

Link's ruminating was cut short when he picked up footsteps approaching from the direction of the village. He glimpsed a lone figure in the shadows, however from the perfume it could only be one person. Princess Zelda emerged from the darkness of the tree line into the moon's spotlight. The silver glow against her white dress and her jewels made her look almost ethereal, however, looking closer the spell was broken as it brought into sharp relief the bags under her eyes and the slump of her shoulders. Even the subtle smile that she presented seemed weighed down by her intense weariness.

Despite this she was no less graceful as she glided into the centre of the glade, surveying the space with a sense of wonder. Link couldn't deny the beauty of his little secluded sanctum in the woods, particularly in the moonlight, but surely she had witnessed many more magnificent sights than this in her travels. After a moment gazing up at their celestial companion Zelda's eyes fell on Link.

"Greetings Link" her sweet, soothing voice was tainted by a hint of hoarseness, likely from her meeting with the villagers. "I trust I'm not disturbing you at this late hour?" she inquired, slightly nervous. "Er, no your highness, not at all" came his equally nervous reply.

The sound of a nightingale, from somewhere in the woods, filled the void that their following hesitation left, until Zelda finally tried to break the tension with a more assured "May I join you?" Link, while not surprised by the meaning of the question, was taken aback by its blunt directness. Surely, she needed some sort of pretense to spend time with a commoner such as himself, even if he had saved the kingdom. Fiddling with the straps on his of his bracers, he stammered "of… of course not, your highness."

"Please, Link, there's no need to be so formal" she chided gently, approaching the ladder to his home. "Lord Halshaw is probably drinking away his humiliation as we speak. In public 'your highness' or 'your grace' would be the correct address, however, as you are no doubt aware, we are not in public." She paused for breath, halfway up, a testament to her exhaustion, giving the whole ladder was little more than twice her height. "In private I would prefer you to simply call me Zelda or if you must be more formal, Princess." She concluded panting heavily, as she struggled with the final rungs.

Link, concerned for her safety, would have offered to join her on the ground but something told him the princess would have refused. Instead he settled for offering her a helping hand as she floundered on the lip of the ledge, which she gratefully accepted with just a hint of embarrassment, allowing him to drag her, with all the dignity of a sack of potatoes, onto solid ground.

"You've saved me again, hero, you have my eternal gratitude" she said with a wry smile. Her saviour, however, was rather too preoccupied to respond. It would seem that Zelda's touch was just as powerful as her voice. Snapping out of his daze, Link's eyes traced up her gloved hand to her face and he blushed. Almost instinctively casting his eyes about her figure, searching for any sign of injury, he suddenly blurted "Princess, your dress!"

Zelda's once pristine white skirt and gloves were now stained with green and brown. What would the villagers or Lord Halshaw think when the princess returned looking like she'd taken the scenic route back… or had a roll in the grass with a certain hero?!

"Do not worry yourself, gallant hero, I will survive and such a blemish is easily removed." came Zelda's unconcerned reply. "but what would Lord Halshaw say?" Link pressed with concern.

"I can assure you, Link, I have no intention of allowing my current state to be witnessed by a certified plum duff!" she scoffed derisively before sighing wearily. "There's no need for concern. My presence with you will not cause a diplomatic incident" she assured him, adding with a hint of mirth "Besides, should they give any trouble, you always have me to protect you."

Link's only possible response to this was a bashful smile and a nod of thanks before sitting back down on the ledge next to her, albeit at a respectable distance on the other side of the ladder. Zelda had regained some of her royal composure, sitting demurely at the edge of the ledge, her gloved hands tucked into her lap, still as a statue, apart from the occasional gust of wind catching her intricate braids of chocolate brown hair, as she stared off towards the village.

Sensing that she seemed to be deep in thought and trying to avoid making things any more awkward by staring at her, Link turned his gaze to the moon. He drolly noted how, had he still had his wolf form, he would probably be howling at the moment.

Then Zelda spoke again and he felt her staring fixedly at him. "what did you do when it was over, Link?" she enquired hesitantly.

The question caught him off guard and left him scrambling for an answer that would hopefully satisfy her without her probing too deeply. "I returned the mastersword and then I travelled for a little while, assisting people where I could, ridding the kingdom of any beasts I found along the way, and then errr… and then I came home." He said flatly.

"Where did you go?" Zelda quizzed, gaze still anchored on him.

"Well, you know, here and there." He tried but with her unchanging expression made it clear he had to continue. "Kakariko village, Death Mountain, Zora's River…"

"So, you didn't come to castle town?" Zelda cut in.

"No." Link replied, glancing away and hoping she would let the matter be. It would do no good for her to find out that he had avoided castle town out of fear of the memories it might bring back, and more insultingly, the thought of running into her, for the same reason.

Link thought he saw a flicker a hurt flash across her face but it vanished almost instantly. She clearly knew there was more he wasn't saying, however, she decided to let it be… or so he thought.

He quickly realised she'd simply switched her angle of dissection when she came back with yet another uncomfortable question. "Link, why did you return to Ordon?"

Time for the standard Rusl tactic "Well, Ordon is and has always been my home, it's where my friends and those I consider as family live… and it's where I am needed." He stated with as much conviction as he could muster, even though the sentiment behind it felt so hollow.

Unsurprisingly Zelda wasn't buying it any more than he was himself and proceeded to skewer his excuse, as Rusl often did, with a question. "but is it really still your home?"

The question was pretty much the same but the tone couldn't be more different. While Rusl's always came across as a frank and knowing statement he expected Link to agree with, even if he didn't admit it, Zelda's came as a plaintive appeal, full of sincere sympathy.

Having already been worn down by Rusl, Zelda's sympathetic plea seemed like a lifeline he desperately needed but constantly denied, to finally acknowledge his torment to someone he could trust. It shook him to realise that, despite their relatively short acquaintance, he did trust the princess enough to do so. And yet old habits die hard.

"Of course, why would that change?!" he tried to sound convincing but his delivery verged on mumbling.

Zelda's response seemed already prepared as she interjected "It's not Ordon that's changed, Link, it's you! I may not have met you before the tragic events of the twilight invasion but the scars it left behind are clearly visible. I recognise them because of the similar scars I bare, and while others may not understand their meaning that doesn't make them any less aware of them."

The princess sighed sombrely, noting Link's shocked expression and continued "The need for a home is constant, however the shape it takes can change, sometimes with the seasons, sometimes with the wanderings of the soul. Strife, doubt and loss can chip away at even the strongest of spirits and reshape their needs. The young carefree boy who spent his days herding goats or graciously helping with medial chores round a small rural village has gone. The only question remaining is, who is man who replaced him?"

Link was stunned, both by how eloquently her speech had managed to strike at the heart of his troubles but more so by the admittance of her own suffering. Her eyes beheld a deep sorrow that compelled him to reach out and hold her, but he knew that was the last thing he should do. Never the less she had shown great trust and courage in opening up to him and, he realised it was time for some last courage of his own.

"I'm sorry, Princess. Sorry that you had to endure so much. Sorry that it took so long to save you and the kingdom…" Zelda shook her head forlornly and tried to speak but he pushed on "and I'm sorry but I don't have an answer for that question. I look back at the young boy you described and he seems a distant memory. I look back at the hero who saved Hyrule and I can't even recognise him. He never ran out of courage and never allowed despair to overtake him. I've very little courage left and what's left is shackled in chains of doubt. I fear I'm broken."

Link finished his confession exhausted, fighting to kept his composure as he looked away towards the village. He suddenly stiffened when he felt Zelda's hand delicately rest on his and he glanced sideways to see her tired eyes glistening with unshed tears as she softly spoke. "You aren't the only one to be broken by the Twilight, but I believe It's far better to learn the art of rebuilding, rather than seeking to be unbreakable. If you care about anything, the latter will always be unattainable, but if you focus on the former then you will help far more than just yourself. It's how Hyrule has survived, it's how I am still princess and it's how you will rediscover the hero that still resides inside you. I have no doubt of that, Link."

Her words moved him once again as an almost indescribable wave of relief washed over him and a weight lifted from his soul. His eyes were once again anchored on her as he marvelled how one so young could hold such wisdom. "or so tired" he thought, as Zelda abruptly removed her hand from Link's to try to cover a, clearly restrained, yawn. Even her yawns carried a sense of propriety.

"Princess, that's two pearls of wisdom in five minutes, when you're half asleep. Can ANYONE keep up when you're actually awake?" He couldn't help quipping, spurred on by this new feeling of lightness.

A light high giggle like a bubbling forest spring tickled the night air and Zelda's melancholy visage was broken by a smile and not one of the subtle upturns of the lips just discernible behind her composed princess mask. This one overtook her whole face, so bright and beautiful that it would have left Link transfixed had he not turned away to prevent himself being blinded. Also, he was trying to hide the blush building in his cheeks.

The awkwardness that had pervaded their meeting up till now faded into the moonlight night as the princess's giggle finally found it's melodious ending cadence and she turned back to the view of Ordon. "Well me on a good day would probably be the council's worst nightmare…" she joked lightly "but I'm glad I have SOMETHING over the Hero of Twilight!"

Still blushing slightly, Link took a chance to be the one to ask a question, before this moment of connection passed. "Zelda, why are you so tired?" He asked, well aware this risked souring the mood, concern in his voice.

"For the same reason, I suspect, you have spent many nights, as you are tonight, sitting on this ledge, refusing to embrace your own need for slumber." She sighed deeply, suddenly wrapping her arms round herself, as she shivered, despite showing no previous signs of cold. Link, however, caught the haunted look in her eyes and instantly knew.

"You have nightmares too?" He asked, instantly regretting opening this line of conversation, shattering the carefree moment they'd just shared. Zelda simply nodded.

The seconds ticked by with just the rustling leaves and the nightingale the only sounds in the secluded glade.

"I'm sorry" Link croaked regretfully but was prevented from apologising further when Zelda wheeled round and interrupted in a warm but weary tone "Don't be, Link. I had considered bringing it up myself, but feared I may have already reopened to many wounds for one night."

"Well you couldn't reopen those wounds because I don't think I had the strength to close them in the first place." came Links wry response.

"Sharing with an understanding friend can sometimes be the first step."

"A friend like you?" Link said, slightly surprised at the implication that the royal princess considered him a friend after such a short and turbulent time.

"A friend like me" She confirmed assuredly, nodding as she gazed off to the treeline, only to be interrupted by another yawn, bigger and less restrained than before. "but **yawn** no more sharing tonight"

"Princess, you need to rest, let me escort you back" Link urged, increasingly worried she might topple from the ledge unconscious at any second.

"No, Link, I am fine. Just let me enjoy this secluded serenity a moment longer, then I will return. No escort required." She said, raising a hand to dismiss his concerns.

"it's beautiful tonight" she mumbled sleepily.

"Yes" Link agreed, as they both gazed out into the village, gilded in the moons silver rays, the gently swaying trees casting dancing shadows across quaint little houses and the occasional shimmer of light just visible from the stream. It seemed more peaceful than it had been at any other point since his fateful return.

Had he misjudged his situation so badly? He'd told himself when he came back that he was doing it to make his healing easier. That once he'd healed he would then face the reminders and remnants of his trials, that otherwise could shatter him completely. He now finally accepted that, as he had begun to suspect, he was instead running away and that not the nightmares might be the true source of his shame.

He had believed meeting Zelda would shatter him, however she had instead offered him a way out, a light at the end of the seemingly endless cavern he'd found himself buried in. He thought again of her words on rebuilding. It would take time but the aid of the princess, perhaps it was possible. There was hope.

Then a darker voice awoke inside his head, that threatened to crush this spark of optimism. "and how can she help you? She's a princess, with many duties and responsibilities. Do you really think she'd wish to or even be allowed to associate with someone of your ilk." The voice asked with bitter contempt.

Link was tired but his talk with Zelda had galvanised him and he now knew his enemy. It was time to fight back.

It was at that moment that he was suddenly aware of movement to his left. "Zelda" He cried, flinging himself across the ledge in a haphazard attempt to stop the now slumbering princess from falling, a clumsy manoeuvre which almost sent them both over the edge. Never the less he'd succeeded and the princess now lay on her back with Link giving her a highly uncomfortable sideways hug. Uncomfortable for multiple reasons.

Firstly, there was her golden shoulder armour that dug painfully into his chest. Secondly and far more uncomfortably, this was probably the most physically intimate position he'd ever been in with anyone. Zelda's face lay mere inches from his own, one her hands had come to rest on his right leg and his left knee seemed to be trapped up against what he could only assume was her… posterior!

For a moment all he could do was stare wide eyed at the princess's serene expression, as she slept deeply, completely deaf to the outside world… and their current predicament, thank the Goddesses! He would have been panicking about her health, fearing far worse than sleep had it not been for her peaceful breaths, blowing against his neck and the occasional twitch of her delicate lashes. Her pure alabaster skin shone in the moonlight and her full lips beheld a gentle smile. She looked like a goddess herself.

"…"

"What in Hyrule was I just thinking?" Link chastised himself severely as he scrambled desperately to extricate his limbs from round Zelda's frame without waking her. He was quickly coming to the impression though, as he staggered drunkenly to his feet, that there were very few forces in this world that could rouse the princess from her slumber, other than herself. He suspected the princess had a stubborn streak and it would seem that it even extended to her sleep. She would wake when she was ready and that certainly wouldn't be anytime soon.

Link began to pace anxiously in front of his door, frantically trying to come up with a plan of action, one that preferably avoided scandal or charges of treason. What in Farore's name was he supposed to do now? He couldn't leave the princess unconscious outside his door.

If he had his clawshot he might be able to lower himself and the princess to the ground, however he would still have to carry her unconscious form all the way across Ordon and even when he got to the camp, he had no idea where she was supposed to sleep. It wasn't like he could simply ask for directions, besides that point was basically moot as the clawshot was in his basement and he certainly wasn't going to abandon the princess to rummage around trying to find it. Indeed, the idea of leaving the princess filled him with dread.

No, the only option he had, as scandalous as it sounded, was for Zelda to sleep in his most comfortable bed. At this moment he was particularly glad that he had invested in a proper bed after his adventure, his one personal investment with his amassed wealth. He'd been prompted to make the uncharacteristic purchase when he became increasingly worried that his nightmares would cause him to fall from the small third floor platform on which his makeshift bed, nothing more than a thin mat and blanket, resided. Plus, he held the vain hope that a more comfortable resting place might help alleviate the nightmares. It hadn't worked but it gave him an acceptable option now. The princess could rest in the relative luxury on the ground floor, while he went back to his barebones lifestyle on the third floor. He almost smiled at the prospect of returning to his old rough and ready life.

His mind settled, he set about putting his plan into action, the first step being, carrying the princess into his house. It turned out that was far easier thought than done. His first attempt at lifting her almost had him collapsing on top of her. He may have been a hero who defeat great evil but he did that through agility and quick thinking, not brute strength. Lord Halshaw may have been an obnoxious old curmudgeon, but Link didn't blame the man for being surprised at his Hero status given his short, relatively slight build. He wouldn't say his was short on strength but there's only some much muscle you can fit before it becomes absurd. Not that he was suggesting that the princess was heavy or anything. There was just something on her that was… and he soon found the source.

Her ornate golden shoulder armour, it turns out, not only exuded nobility and strength but also weighed a ton. How Zelda manage to wear these glorious monsters all day, every day was beyond Link's comprehension. The undeniable, and rather uncomfortable fact though was that he had to remove them if he ever stood a chance of moving her.

It was an unnerving prospect for sure but the situation damned he had to do it. Approaching the item in question with the trepidation of handling a sacred treasure or an unstable explosive, he carefully unclasped the two shoulder plates and prayed that there was something underneath. It was then that he briefly registered that her attire was slightly different from on their adventure. Beneath the clasp that connected two shoulder plates across the front of her chest, she wore an intricate necklace made up of three large gold teardrop pendants each set with a different stone, blue, red and green. He could only assume that these must symbolise the three goddesses but he knew not which each represented and he didn't have the time to ponder such things.

He finally worked the clasps free, the plates came loose and Link groaned. Hope of avoiding a situation worthy of scandal seemed to be slipping away by the second. Zelda's shoulders were bare. He knew well how much nobles valued modesty and purity, at least when it came to women, and bare shoulders didn't fit either of those. What would the princess think? Perhaps she'd take it as a sign he'd tried to take advantage her. He shuddered at the thought.

Trying to suppress his worries and wild speculation, Link realised, short of using Zelda's head as a battering ram, an act he was sure she wouldn't appreciate, he wouldn't be able to open the door while carrying her. He needed a doorstop. something relatively small in size but nice and heavy?! Well it just so happened that he'd acquired two items that matched that description. He'd already probably committed a crime by removing them. He might as well make good use of them.

His brand-new shiny doorstop in place, he was finally able to try lifting the princess again. This time yielded success and he was suddenly able to lift the sleeping princess with relative ease, trying to find a position that was comfortable for her without being too undignified.

He then clumsily manoeuvred her through the door and into his rather eccentric house. Built into a giant tree, the one main room was round and cavernous, covering three floors. A stove sat opposite the door with a rustic dining table accompanied by a lone chair sitting just to the right of it. Following on clockwise was a ladder which lead up to two small platforms that constituted the second and third floors.

Link, however, headed left from the door towards an elegant bed that stuck out like a sore thumb from the rest the décor and gently laid Zelda down. He found himself transfixed but for a moment on her serene face, her beautiful brunette locks pooling across the sheets, only partially constrained by the braids. She looked pure and angelic. Deciding he'd done enough gormless gawking at the princess, he pulled up a blanket over her and tried to rise. Something tugged at his green tunic.

His eye's shot down and he saw one of her necklace pendants caught against the fabric. He tried to work it free but it was in vain. The only way he'd be able to release it would require the unthinkable. Was this a curse? Was this some torture perpetrated by the Goddesses just to watch him squirm, before he's promptly locked up for treason.

Link unclasped the neckless, his fingers brushing against her delicate skin and Zelda released a sigh. Link leapt back, fearing she would wake despite his earlier predictions, finding him so close, not only apparently stealing her necklace but also defiling her with his touch! True, he would still be caught taking the necklace but he considered that a minor offence by comparison. Luckily for him, she did not stir.

Finally working the pendant free by unchaining it from the rest of the necklace he saw it was the one set with a blue stone, probably a sapphire. If only he knew which goddess this stone represented, it might be a hint as to which of them had decided to orchestrate these calamitous events.

Putting it out of his mind, he turned to head to bed only for a groan to bring his attention back once more to the sleeping princess. Her peaceful serenity had been disturbed as her brow furrowed and she hugged her shoulders, shivering slightly. She'd shown no previous signs of being affected by the cool night air but it would have seemed to caught up with her.

Taking an executive decision, Link removed his tunic and laid it carefully over her shoulders. The shivering stopped and her brow softened again. Satisfied that he'd done all he could Link stepped back from the bed and gave one last look to the young royal who had waltzed back into his life and turned it upside down, with wisdom, compassion and a hint of stubbornness… his new friend. The notion still felt strange to him, being friends with royalty. But that's what she'd said.

He just hoped she still felt that way in the morning!


	6. A rude awakening

**Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda**

**A.N: Thanks once again for all the feedback. I really appreciate it. Glad to hear I haven't fallen to absurdity just yet. Here's another chapter. And to think I'd planned to do all the events in Ordon in two chapters! Boy was I delusional! I just hope you enjoy it.**

**Oh and please let me know if you think this story would be better served, categorised as Humour rather than Drama. I don't want to misadvertise. Thank you!**

**Chapter 5 – A rude awakening**

"Link!" Zelda's urgent distressed cry echoed in his head.

His dreams had been going so much better than before. Now here came the nightmare!

"Link!" Another cry but somehow bizarrely off. It sounded like two voices mixed together, one was Zelda and the other was…

"LINK!" Ilia yelled. link bolted upright, propelling his blanket off the platform and almost throwing himself off with it. He blinked, trying to orientate himself and acclimatise to the abnormal light level. He was in his house, on his old bed platform and sunlight was streaming in through the window. From the looks of it the sun had been up for several hours. He'd not been able to sleep past sunrise since the start of his adventure!

"LINK!" Another yell from Ilia signalled he'd best respond quickly before she tried to break in. He rushed to the window just in time to hear a frustrated cry "Epona, what are you doing? I've got to see Link." followed by an indignant neigh. Looking down into the glade he saw Ilia seemingly participating in a staring contest with his trusty stead as the mare stood, defiantly blocking the ladder up to his front door. The chestnut mare clearly knew what was up. Still in his groggy state, Link just wished he did.

"What is it Ilia?" he called bluntly, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice, partly from the rude awakening and partly due to it being her. How had such a close friendship collapsed so badly, so fast? Actually, he knew that answer all too well.

They'd been thick as thieves when they were young, content as best friends or surrogate siblings. Then roughly a year before his adventures he began to suspect that his childhood best friend might have feelings for him and with those feelings came a possessiveness he disliked. Then the Twilight arrived, and Link had to rescue her, travelling all across Hyrule to save both her and her memory. Her thanks for such a feat was only momentary before her controlling streak reared its ugly head with almost unfathomable zeal, prompting Link to recoil. As he began to spiral into the abyss, Ilia followed, not seemingly to save him but to claim him as hers. She proceeded to probe him for the source of his erratic behaviour, but like an incompetent surgeon she only opened fresh wounds. It all culminated in the perfect storm of a poorly thought out romantic confession to a vulnerable and unstable hero and the utterance of five simple words that shattered their relationship. "you OWE me an explanation!"

He OWED her?! HE owed HER?! The words still made him bristle when he thought about them. And to think he'd been awoken from a miraculous dream of the Princess of Hyrule coming to meet him, for this!

"Link, Princess Zelda is missing, everyone's frantic, The princess's guards are turning the village upside down in search of her!" She cried in mild panic before adding coarsely "Which you would have known had you not chosen today to slack off!" Ilia's snide comment might have further fuelled Link's ire had he not been almost knocked unconscious by the sledgehammer of reality. Link whirled round from the window and his eye's shot to the bed in the far corner. There lay princess Zelda, sleeping soundly, just as he had left her, stripped of her shoulder plates and her necklace, which he'd removed! How would she react when she woke? How would everyone react when they found out? This truly was a nightmare!

Link didn't like to lie, which probably explained why he was generally so bad at it, yet fate always seemed to engineer his life so he got plenty of practice. Fortunately, he realised, he might be able to stick roughly to the truth, if he played his cards right.

"Ilia, calm down" Link tried to dampen the fuse for the bomb he saw in Ilia's head. "I'm certain Princess Zelda is perfectly safe." He said as reassuringly as he could.

Ilia, far from being reassured, narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "How can you be so sure?" she interjected with force.

How could he handle that one without giving the game away? "Well, the princess is wise, resourceful and capable of handling herself."

"That didn't save her from having to surrender and getting herself captured!" Ilia retorted derisively.

Link now had three battles on his hands. Firstly, to prevent ilia from finding out about Zelda. Secondly, to stop Ilia from saying anything that could offend the princess and thirdly to control his own rapidly rising anger. That last one proved particularly difficult. "That's not even remotely fair, Princess Zelda made a hard choice in order to ensure there was a Hyrule left to save. She made as many sacrifices as me or Midna in order to save everyone." He bit back.

"Oh, that's it, stand up for the princess over your childhood friend! And, for the record, I have no idea what you did or sacrificed, because you refused to tell me!" She screeched. Suddenly, registering the last few words, she exclaimed in consternation "Who is this Midna?!"

Link may not have wanted to open up but if doing so could distract her from Zelda…

"Midna was an imp I meet shortly after the invasion. She was a guide and ally in the Twilight who became a close friend and who turned out to be the cursed deposed princess of the twilight realm. She…" He began to explain only for Ilia to hijack the conversation with an interruption that came completely out of the blue. "Oh, so you were positively spoilt for choice when it came to beautiful Princesses to save!" she snapped. Link Blinked, utterly baffled. Where had that come from? Besides he was sure he'd mentioned her being an imp. Never the less he decided to clarify the situation.

"Ilia, she was cursed to have the form of an imp and she saved m…" He tried again only to be stopped by another confusing interruption.

"I see, just because she's ugly…"

That was harsh! Indeed, Link had to admit he found Midna's imp form strangely cute, but anyway of what relevance was her…

"… she isn't good enough for you. Goddesses, Link I never thought you were sooo shallow! Well that has cleared things up and proven what I suspected when you met HER yesterday! I knew you were naïve but I never thought you were THAT foolish." She raved, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.

What was she on about?! The very implication stung. Midna was gone and he wasn't ever going to see her again. "I never met Midna yesterday, she's…"

"Don't play dumb, Link. You know I meant Zelda. I knew you fell for someone else on your adventure and your meeting with her yesterday just proved my suspicions right."

Oh, now he knew where this was going. It didn't make it any less absurd. He wasn't even used to being considered a friend of the princess yet.

A rustling of sheets below alerted Link once more to her presence. Was she waking? It wouldn't be surprising given their yelling. Now it was even more imperative to stop Ilia before she said something she'd come to regret, even if only for the consequences they'd bring. As much as he hated what she'd become, he did not wish her misfortune. Ilia however was well ahead of him building up steam as she charged head on into a possible prison sentence.

"Link don't be fooled by fairy tales. The princess doesn't and would never love you! Her nobility and kindness are nothing but a mask…"

"Ilia, stop!"

"Strip that away and you'll find she's just like Lord Halshaw!"

"Ilia, the princess…"

"she'll be just as arrogant, two faced and self-obsessed. She probably surrendered just to save her own skin and her so called sacrifices…"

"Ilia, stop! the princess will hear you!" Link bellowed, resisting the urge to lambast her for her ignorance, gritting his teeth. It took a couple of seconds to realise what he'd just implied.

"What!" she shrieked, shock flashing briefly across her face only to be replaced by revelation and horror. "she's with you!" she wailed and the tears began to flow. "You slept with her!"

"No, it's nothing like that" Link attempted to explain but Ilia was already running screaming back towards the village. He was about to jump out the window in pursuit when Zelda's voice, from below reigned him in.

"Link" Her tone was calm but pensive as she sat prim and proper on the edge of the bed, gazing up at him with an almost unreadable expression. He thought for a moment he saw a glimmer of regret. Was it for herself, him or a result of Ilia's words.

Link bounded off the platforms to the ground floor, surefooted as a mountain goat, only wishing his mind was as nimble as he struggled to come up with some sort of all-encompassing apology. Failing completely Link faltered in the centre of the room, only to bow to Zelda. "Princess, I'm sorry…" he began but was quickly silence by a raise of her hand, a gesture he almost missed as his eyes adjusted to the relative gloom away from the sunlight windowsill.

"There's no need for apologies, Link, I have heard far worse." Zelda's tone carried traces of remorse, however her countenance quickly brightened and It looked like that sleep had done her a world of good. If Zelda's voice had been powerful before, even when restrained by stress and weariness, then it was nothing compared to her full melodious tone, light and unencumbered by exhaustion. "besides" She said with a hint of mirth "I have not long been in your presence hero and you have already lifted a great weight from my shoulders." The subtle upturn of the lips, that he was becoming quite well acquainted with, graced her visage once more.

Link blushed bright red and spluttered "Zzzelda, I can explain…"

Zelda's small smile broke into a smirk as she spoke teasingly "Oh, I understand. You were simply making sure your princess was comfortable and rested after what we did last night."

That line rendered Link speechless. why did she make it sound so inappropriate? All they did was talk.

"I thank you for your consideration Link, but I think you should have your tunic back. It's left you slightly underdressed for the public…" She joked before adding in a slightly more serious tone. "…and from what I understand of our situation we will soon be expecting company."

Link barely registered her last comment as his brain was still trying to process the context of her previous remarks that, try as he might, didn't seem to fit in any category outside of flirtation, which he knew was absurd. Unfortunately, the sudden reveal of her bare shoulders again didn't help matters, bringing his thoughts to shuddering halt as he first gawked and then, realising his behaviour, averted his eyes.

His brain was jolted back to life when he received a ball of green fabric to the face, accompanied by a childish giggle from the princess. Unravelling the tunic in a slight daze he picked up, not only his own musky scent along with grass and wood chippings, but the unmistakable fragrance of Zelda's perfume. His tunic now smelt of Zelda!

On the one hand Zelda's perfume was a most pleasant scent. On the other, there was most likely an angry mob descending on them, convinced he'd entered the princess's castle and proceeded to move the furniture with much vigour… and his clothes smelled of Zelda! That wasn't even considering the grass stains on her dress or her slightly dishevelled hair from sleeping. Forget the pitchfork mob. What if Ilia saw it?! Link had the sudden image of his door bursting open and his house being consumed by a sea of molten lava, provided courtesy of a recently erupted mount Ilia with assistance of a tornado from storm Halshaw.

Link's face set a new world record by going from red as a Bokoblin's bruised backside to whiter than his vest in under a second. The princess noticed this shift and asked with concern "are you alright, Link?"

No, he wasn't. he was on the verge of panic but knew he had to keep his cool if they had any hope of righting the situation. "Zelda, if you heard Ilia, then you know she's likely run to the village and told everyone that we… we…" Link faltered unsure how to say it or whether he even should in the princess's company.

Given the heroes loss of speech Zelda decided to help him finish. "participated in intimate diplomacy, engaged in horizontal refreshments, played the midnight organ…" She listed off nonchalantly, sending Link's jaw crashing to the floor almost followed by his eyes. Given his shock, she clarified with a wry chuckle "I may be innocent of the experience, but the concept is inescapable if you ever witness court gossip. I sense however that you have more to say on the matter so please continue."

Salvaging his jaw and popping his eyes back in their sockets, Link gathered his words to delivery his point in the strongest possible terms, as the princess seemed wholly unconcerned by the implications. He also felt the resurgence of that almost feral instinct to protect her, at any costs, even at the expense of himself. He couldn't fully explain its origin, yet it spurred him on.

"Princess, such a claim could ruin both our reputations. Your reputation is far more important than my own as a simple goatherder..." Zelda's nose wrinkled slightly at his self-depreciation but didn't interrupt. "so for the sake of the kingdom alone your reputation needs protecting. You have also been through much already and I do not wish to see you in further distress. If sacrificing my reputation will spare yours then that is a burden I am willing to bare."

A glowing grateful smile spread across the princess's features, but far from encourage her to treat the matter more severely it only prompted further amusement. "while I am flattered and moved by your unwavering sense of duty and concern for my wellbeing, gallant hero, your sacrifice is neither desired or required. Indeed, I can say with absolute confidence that both our reputations will not only survive this battle but thrive from its resolution." She practically sang, eyes twinkling with chained laughter.

"But Zelda…"

"Link" Zelda sighed, tone suddenly business like, even as her eyes still held laughter. "time IS of the essence, as if we do not return to more appropriate levels of attire then they may have some slight reason to believe rumours. If, however, you put your tunic back on and assist me with my pauldrons then I will tell you my tactics to ensure victory in the coming siege."

Link was lost. "Your pauldrons?" he asked as he slipped his tunic back on, despite the problem of Zelda's perfume.

"My shoulder armour, Link, that you removed Last night." She answered drolly

"right!" Link said blushing again, hurrying to retrieve them from the dining table to hide his embarrassment.

As he hefted the two ornate gold, former, doorstops from the table and headed back to Zelda, she turned to face the door and lifted her cascading locks of brunette hair over her shoulder to assist him by opening up her back. It also revealed that the back of her dress was rather lower than he'd expected.

As Link hesitantly heaved the pauldrons onto her shoulders and awkwardly checked the back clasps were secure, trying not to let their closeness bother him, Zelda asked "Would I be correct in assuming that Knowledge of Ilia's unrequited feelings aren't just confined to you and her?"

"No" Link replied uncomfortably "Her confession and the argument that followed turned out to be rather more public than either of us would have wanted."

"I'm sorry to hear that. It could, however, be considered a blessing in our current predicament as it means that the rest of the village is less than likely to believe her claims. As a result, it can be said that we already have half the possible crowd on our side and I think my meeting with them yesterday will have ensured their support." Zelda expounded conspiratorially.

Link nodded in understanding before moving round to fix the front clasps.

"Then we have the soldiers. They, of course, do not know you or your history with me or Ilia. One thing I do know is that, while opinions of me among the ranks are mixed, there is a general consensus that I must be a nun; strict, conservative but most importantly… terminally celibate! Therefor I have very little reason to believe that they would buy Ilia's claim either."

Link vaguely nodded again but was distracted as, having finished adjusting her pauldrons, he couldn't escape the feeling she was missing something. He was never the less enjoying the princess's strategic breakdown, which had helped to allay his fears.

"That leaves only genuine opponent on the field, Lord Halshaw, who wont be interested in the truth of the matter regardless and will merely be looking for a chance to humiliate us. He'll simply jump on this opportunity to do so. In such engagements the best form of defence is attack and a solid knowledge of your opponent's social foibles. Fortunately, Lord Halshaw has an almost inexhaustible list and if I know him, he'll have done a marvellous job of handicapping himself with one of them already."

"But what about Ilia?" Link thought aloud.

"I do not believe Ilia will attend. She is a broken-hearted girl nursing an open wound. The last thing she'd wish would be to show it off in public." Replied Zelda, her voice soft with sympathy, even after Ilia's tirade.

He pondered her words, suspecting there was something she wasn't telling him, when his senses were piqued and he turned to the doorway. Through the window he could detect a large presence approaching. It smelt like a brewery and wheezed like old broken bellows. It could only be Lord Halshaw, and behind him a sizable crowd.

Link whirled round to inform the princess but from the composed, stoic mask that had dropped over her face it would seem she'd already figured out the message.

"Showtime" Came Zelda's determined whisper, as she glided with her usual grace towards the door. She had Just reached for the handle when Link's heart stopped.

"Zelda, your dress, the necklace!" he cried desperately, dashing to the door.

Genuinely startled by his sudden outburst, her mask broke and she was seemingly disorientated for a moment before glancing down and realising what he'd meant. "ah yes, the grass stains, total slipped my mind." She said casually, not seeming to have grasped the second part of his warning. She had just started to make some bizarre hand motions when she suddenly froze and asked slowly "Link, where is my necklace?" her tone unreadable.

Link hesitantly and sheepishly pulled the intricate chain of jewels, still in two parts, out of his pocket. He opened his mouth to explain but Zelda, with her stoic mask back on, addressed him coolly "I will expect an explanation later, however for now there are more important matters that must be dealt with. Speaking of which, do you still possess a bow and some arrows? I just might require them."

Link was baffled and slightly unnerved by the request but decided it might be best for his health if he complied without question, so he shot off towards the basement, carefully pocketing Zelda's necklace again. As he descended and proceeded to root around in his old gear chest, he could just make out Zelda muttering incomprehensible gibberish under her breath. He'd just retrieved his bow along with his clawshot, which he might just need for a quick escape, when there was a sudden burst of light from above.

Cautiously ascending the ladder, Link expected to find some huge magical object in the centre of the room or some sort of mystical firework show, given the dramatic flash that had just occurred. He wasn't sure whether to be worried or relieved when he reached the top to find no noticeable change, no glowing giant statue, no magic fireball, no mystical creature, just the room as he'd left it and Zelda just as…

It was as he gazed at Zelda that he realised the change, remarkably subtle considering the lightshow. Zelda's dress, while not spotless, was considerably less dirty, but rather more surprisingly her necklace had seemingly miraculously returned to its' rightful place. Link, thoroughly bamboozled, reached into his pocket only to find the delicate jewellery still there.

He'd just grasped what she'd done when Zelda clarified "It's just a simple illusion spell, nothing's actually changed." still not giving away whether she was mad at him.

Link approached, holding out the bow, but Zelda waved it away. "Thank you but I do not require it presently. Just leave it by the door in case I have need for it later." Link couldn't fathom what it might be used for. He hoped it might be used to demonstrate Lord Halshaw's utility as a pincushion. It's not like those arrows could actually hurt him through all that blubber he carried, unless Zelda "accidentally" went for the head. He just didn't wish to become a pincushion himself, as punishment for taking her necklace. He had heard a certain expression about hell, fury and a woman scorned!

A whinny from Epona outside informed them that the crowd had finally arrived. Zelda turned to Link, mask unwavering and gave his marching orders. "So, the battle begins. Link, all you need do is stand next to me and look vaguely imposing. I'll handle Lord Halshaw. He will try to bait you into a reaction. Don't give him one." She briefly lifted the mask for a small smile of reassurance. "are you ready?" she asked.

He nodded. Time to being imposing… If he could!

Zelda opened the door…


	7. A Battle of Brains v Bluster

**A.N: Thanks again for the feedback with particular shoutouts to: Bladeofthebookworms, Umiorsea and the one who calls themselves Random Reader. Thanks for the support.**

**This has been by far the most challenging chapter so far (I know I say that after almost every chapter but I really mean it this time.) I just hope there aren't too many errors as it's real pain to proofread such long writing when you have eyesight issues!**

**I just hope you enjoy it and please continue to give feedback, whether you like it or have any ideas how to improve it.**

**Chapter 6 – The battle of Brains vs Bluster**

Link squinted against the glare of the sun, as its' rays poured through the open door, illuminating the gloom of his house.

Zelda glided out the door onto the ledge, without a second thought, poise perfectly straight, head held high, gloved hands tucked together daintily in front of her. She was the picture of dignity, regality and self-confidence. Link just prayed it wasn't over-confidence, and pondered whether the Princess ever actually used her legs to travel or whether she just magically floated everywhere. Her grace seemed supernatural.

After a moment's nervous hesitation, he followed her out onto what had become Zelda's podium for her grand speech and possible battlements for the coming siege.

There was indeed a formidable sized crowd congregated and Epona had shuffled into the corner off to the right of the ledge, clearly unsettled.

He scanned the battlefield, trying to discern combatants from the spectators and supporters. It would seem that most of the village was in attendance, with the notable exception of Ilia and the children, who he failed to locate within the crowd. Most of them bore expressions of confusion, bemusement or mild annoyance. None, however, showed any hostility towards either of them, seeming to only be seeking some explanation for the current situation. He just hoped Zelda was right and that they wouldn't simply jump to conclusions and believe whatever Ilia might have told them.

His village friends were unfortunately relegated to the back of the crowd behind several rows of soldiers, with faces that ranged from "Am I even awake yet?" to "why do I even bother" to "I've just swallowed a bag of lemons!" Quite frankly, he had no idea how they'd react when the inevitable battle kicked off.

Then at the head of congregation stood Lord Halshaw and what Link guessed must have been his officers/cronies. The Lord reeked of alcohol and from his bleary eyes Link guessed it wasn't just fatigue he was suffering from. It would seem Zelda was right about that handicap she spoke of. Despite this, or indeed because of it, he wore a thin veil of concern and annoyance beneath which lurked barely concealed triumph. Was it the delusions of alcohol that made him so confident or did he have an ace up his sleeve? It would seem they may be about to find out. He opened his mouth to speak…

Zelda beat him to it "Citizens of Ordon, Loyal soldiers of the 31st regiment." Zelda addressed in her most refined and authoritative tone. "I stand before you as princess to offer you my sincerest apologies." Link blinked. This was a strange definition of attack. Still he just stood, listened and tried to look imposing.

"I can surmise from your expressions of confusion, frustration and anger that my unexplained disappearance has led to much undue disruption and distress. That was certainly not my intention. My intention last night had been to meet with Link, the Hero of Hyrule…" Link heard a snort of derision from Lord Halshaw "to discuss several matters concerning the defence of the realm in the wake of the recent turmoil of the Twilight invasion, an event that changed us all irrevocably. Given his remarkable skills and displays of selfless duty, I wished to propose an arrangement…" Link was baffled what arrangement she was referring to when he caught a whisper from among the soldiers that made him bristle "Yeah an arrangement to show him new sheath for his sword!"

Zelda was either unaware of the comment or decided to ignore it as she continued, unfaltering "to continue to serve in a more official capacity and to receive the recognition and respect befitting of his achievements." There was a smattering of cheers from among the villagers and surprisingly even some among the soldiers at that announcement. Link, while unsure of the implications of such an announcement, was never the less grateful to her for not revealing the real subject of their conversation. He even felt a swell of pride at her reverence of his adventures and was actually glad when the villagers showed their support, for once able to suppress the negative voice in his head telling him he deserved nothing.

One person was, however, decidedly displeased with the whole proceeding. Lord Halshaw seemed to be fighting to suppress an ugly sneer, but in doing so, gave the look of a man desperately holding back a sneeze, his perfectly manicured moustache twitching from the exertion. Clearly frustrated at Zelda's early foothold in the conversation, he took her pause, to wait for the crowd to calm, as his opportunity to make his opening gambit.

Clearing his throat, as though he had a Chu lodged in it, he plastered on a look of worry and spoke. "Your highness, with all due respect, we are not here for praise of this… "Hero", however deserving, but for an explanation as to your highness's, some might say, questionable actions last night, which lead to panic this morning. Actions, which are particularly troubling in the wake of a claim made not long ago by a distraught young lady, that your highness engaged in more than cordial relations with this Link fellow…"

Lord Halshaw was about to continue when he picked up a titter of laughter from the princess, to which he seemed somewhat taken aback and surprised by her display. Link shared his surprise as he certainly couldn't see the funny side of such an accusation. After a second's consternation, the Lord regained his composure and inquired with slight annoyance. "Your Highness, this is a most serious claim, surely this situation doesn't bring you amusement?"

Zelda's reply was quick and sharp "No, Lord Halshaw. I laughed because I have never known you to refer to a young woman so respectfully, or to shy away from naming the pleasures of the flesh, even in court. You have certainly never demonstrated any inclination towards either in the past."

Halshaw's Moustache was twitching again as he tried to find a fitting response. Link had been amazed at how Halshaw's initial assault had been so articulate given the Lord's condition, however, he was now beginning to suspect that he'd been preparing his adjusted opening salvo since Zelda had started. It would seem that, now that he had no preparation time, the effects of last nights brewing and stewing on his faculties came more into focus, even as the man himself struggled to do so.

After a moment's silence, apart from a couple of sniggers from amongst the ranks of the soldier, He clearly decided that the best response was to simply dismiss it and move on. "never the less…" the Lord huffed trying to regain control and momentum "that does not change the facts of this matter or it's severity your highness. This young lady…"

"By this young lady, you are referring to Ilia are you not?" Zelda asked innocently.

The Lord blinked stupidly, like he'd just been slapped with a fish. "Who?" he replied, baffled.

"Mayor Bo's daughter." Zelda graciously clarified.

There was another moment's pause as Link watched the Lords eyes cross in concentration, reminiscent of a Bublin suffering from a bout of acute indigestion. "Oh, ah, yes, her!" he fumbled, still not entirely sure.

Link was fast approaching the conclusion that what he and the crowd were about to witness would not be a battle of equal wits but a massacre, as Zelda toyed with her totally outmatched and underprepared opponent. He almost felt sorry for the Lord… almost!

"Anyway, as I was saying, this young lady, came back to the village, having gone to ask errr… Link for assistance in locating your highness, in a state of high distress, making the claim that your highness and Link had slept together. Now I am not a man who would ever question Your highnesses virtue, however the circa… circo… err circumstances might lead some less loyal, less trusting people to take this claim as fact, and if such news was to spread… well… it would be a disaster, both for your reputation, and your hero's." He may have stumbled throughout however it was clear the fool thought he was on to a winning argument as he was barely able to hide his glee behind his feigned cloying concern.

"and what circumstances are you referring to? I would be more than happy to clear up any misunderstandings." Zelda responded courteously, displaying no signs of even acknowledging the implied threat.

The Lords confidence seemed to be helping with his clarity of mind and speech as he answered "Well, your highness, you left your conference with the village community late at night, a time most would consider sleeping, and headed off, without informing anyone of your intention, to Links house, where he just happened to still be awake as well. Some suspicious individuals might think that you arranged this late-night rendezvous beforehand. You then, rather than return to the safety, security and high comfort of your bed, surrounded by your loyal legions, decided to stay overnight with a man, who despite his "claimed" achievements, lives in a tree. One might think that he would have to possess other "qualities" to persuade a royal princess to stay."

Halfway through his speech, the vile Lord had turned his gaze to Link, his comments clearly an attempt to goad him into some sort of response. Link fully realised this but never the less struggled to keep a calm composure. At his final line and the mention of "qualities" Lord Halshaw had made a subtle but lewd gesture, with his hands tucked in front of him, using a finger and thumb to make a circle and then moving one finger from the other hand in and out suggestively.

What bothered Link more than the insults and insinuations though was that, with the way Lord Halshaw put it, he seemed to have a fairly solid case for his accusations against them. It looked like the balance of power had suddenly and dramatically switched.

The lord didn't stop there though, taking full advantage of his newly gained control to initiate his second strike. Turning back to the princess, barely able to hide a smirk he continued "Now I understand, many a young impressionable woman has been taken advantage of by charming, smooth-talking rogues and indeed that such ideas seem to have a particular romantic appeal to ladies of the genit… I mean, gentry. I'd be more than willing to accept that while this man, Link, may not outwardly possess any attractive qualities that I could see a woman of royalty being lured by, he may have, never the less, manipulated and wooed you. For that I would not hold you in any less regard than I do now and I think no-one would deny that you were just a victim of a callous Casanova and your regrettable feminine sensibilities…"

The Lord may have grown in confidence over his position however he seemed completely oblivious to the growing ire of many of the villagers behind him. He didn't notice the gasps of shock and indignation from the women of the village at his mention of "regrettable female sensibilities". If the Lord kept this up he could end up with every female from here to Kakariko village out for his blood. The one lady seemingly unaffected by his thinly veiled derogatory diatribe was the very person it was directed at. Princess Zelda simply watched placidly and if Link could ready anything from the profile of her face, he could swear she was restraining a smile. Was this all part of the plan? Let the Lord dig his own grave.

Halshaw persevered producing more verbal slime with the same sickly false sympathy, as Link fought to suppress growl, gritting his teeth. "I'm sure that with some discussion with the fine peas… people of Ordon that we would be able to come to an accord, where we can put this unfortunate incident behind us and it need never be brought up again, saving potential damage to your reputation and preventing distress and distrust being bred among your loyal subjects." Unable to hold back any longer, a triumphant smirk broke out on the Lords face as he offered his final ultimatum. "All that I would ask of you, your highness, is that you end this unsavoury association with this man, Link and that you, in future, run all further associations, be they personal or professional, past your loyal advisers and council members so as to avoid any further unwise relations."

Lord Halshaw finished his speech with an almost theatrical flourish, receiving applause from his cronies. The rest of the crowd was deadly silent, seemingly waiting for the Princesses response. Link was just praying she would make it soon before his rage boiled over and he beat that two faced, smug blaggard of a noble to within an inch of his sorry life. The slimy presumptuous scumbag had repeatedly insulted both him and Zelda based on a lie and yet attempted to play the compassionate mediator.

Fortunately, Zelda's returning volley did not take long to appear. "Is that all you have to say, Lord Halshaw?" she asked passively showing no signs of being phased by his assault. The Lords smirk faltered slightly, clearly somewhat perturbed by his attacks lack of visible results, but did not fade entirely. "yes, I do not believe I could advise you any better as to the unavoidable conclusions of the incident, and my position on the matter. I trust that you, in all your wisdom, will take my advice to heart."

"Really Lord Halshaw?!" Zelda said in mock surprise. "well then, allow me to provide the relevant missing context to last night's events and the state of the current situation so that you, in all your nobility, can make the correct choice to preserve your status among my most "loyal" of advisers and indeed your own reputation." Her diction was refined and steady but her tone was acerbic.

"Firstly, you seem to be advising under the false assumption that I did not deign to inform anyone of my decision to visit Link, and that I proceeded directly to speak with him rather than return to the camp. Not only did I return to the camp but I also apprised all four of the camps denizens, not asleep or trying to do so, namely you and your compatriots, of my intentions." She remained steady and regal despite the lines not so subtle accusations.

The Lords eyes widen, along with his officers as they shared looks of mutual shock and confusion. "What, I don't remember this!" he exclaimed in dismay, before his expression switched to one of suspicion. "when was this?" he demanded, his eyes narrowed, his arms crossed. The soldiers meanwhile, many who had looked only vaguely interested and were clearly more annoyed at having wasted their morning searching for the princess than some court scandal, suddenly began to perk up.

"Around midnight when you decided to partake in your nightly tradition of consuming almost the entire regiments ale supplement for the day by yourselves. I believe I interrupted you just when you'd broken into a rendition of that song "I laid a merry maid to churn some butter, she needed and pleaded when down in the gutter"…" Halshaw's mouth fell open in horror and he was rendered temporarily speechless as Zelda continued "Now sheltered as I am as a princess, I don't know what the song means but I'm sure there are some gallant, attentive souls within the regiment who could enlighten me." She said with an air of obviously feigned naivety, clutching one hand dramatically to her heart. A wave of restrained sniggering rippled through the soldiers ranks, while some of the villagers couldn't resist a wry smile.

"Well, I still do not recall that." The Lord sneered still not entirely convinced.

"I informed you of my plan, at which point you endeavoured to dissuade me in your own inimitable drunken style, as well as express your opposition to your apology speech for yesterday's behaviour, which included various rather colourful terms to describe Ordon's citizens. Would you like me to quote some of them to jog your memory?"

Lord Halshaw went white. "No, no, no that… that wont be necessary, your highness." He spluttered frantically, suddenly aware of the growing hostility behind him.

"So, will you accept that not only was your first points of "advice" moot but that it means that you are, effectively, at least partly responsible for the panic and disruption that occurred this morning."

"You may not!" The Lord blurted indignantly, his voice rising, highlighting the squeaky iron gate that he must have swallowed at some point, before realising he may actually have to back up such an outburst in front of the royal princess. Wringing his hands nervously, he stammered "I, I, I, it, it, it… it strikes at the heart of the… it's a matter of…I was drunk." He finished pitifully.

"I see" came Zelda's curt response. "are you arguing then, Lord Halshaw, that when under the influence of alcohol, you do not consider yourself obliged to uphold your duties and responsibilities as a royal adviser or a member of the council? If that is the case then one has to wonder on what day of the year I should consider you worthy of such an honourable station, given your propensity to drink it as a whale drinks water. After all, there are no privileges without responsibilities. I know that concept is particularly hard to get across to a noble, but I forever live in hope."

"Of course that wasn't what I was suggesting, your Highness" The Lord drawled in an oily obsequious manner, wringing his hands so vigorously one might think they'd catch fire. "I perfectly understand the need for respon…responsibility and self-sacrifice as a part of my role as one of your humble, ever faithful advisers. I simply wished to make the point that surely, in the late evening, after a long hard day's selfless toil for the glory of Hyrule and her crown princess, that a noble man may deserve to indulge in little relaxing jovial repartee, without having to concern himself with the burdens of his many and weighty responsibilities. That isn't too much to ask, is it?" With his point made, smiling his most sickly ingratiating smile, Lord Halshaw seemed to be under the impression that he had wriggled his way out of immediate danger.

Zelda's reply showed just how wrong he was. "and what does a lady deserve?" she asked coolly.

"Your highness?"

"Does a lady not deserve to be able to rest, without being kept awake for hours on end by the sound of a bunch of burbling bulldogs, barking and belching incessantly into the early hours of the morning. Do the soldiers not deserve a rest, having travelled many miles, carrying not only the physical burdens of the camp but also the weight of the responsibility of the safety of the kingdom on their shoulders, which they do with dignity and discipline…" At this praise, Link noticed many among the regiment stood taller and straighter, as they spontaneously sprouted a sense of pride. Some of them seemed almost taken aback at being spoken of so highly, but never the less accepted their glowing appraisal.

"Now, your highness, don't you think you're rather overstating…" The Lord attempted to stem the tide but the princess was in full flow and it would seem that the crowd was all behind her.

"No, I do not believe I am! Indeed, your raucous revelling is what prompted me to bring my meeting with Link, which I had intended for later today, forward to last night…"

"but how could you guarantee he would still be awake, if you hadn't already arranged it?!" The Lord blurted as if he'd just struck gold.

"There was no guarantee." Zelda answered plainly, before elaborating "I had however been informed most kindly, by several among the village including Uli and Mayor Bo, that Link had a habit of partaking in late night vigils which could last into the early hours of the morning, particularly when the moon was out…"

"Sounds like the habits of a lunatic." The Lord muttered sourly under his breath, his brief elation thoroughly deflated. His moustache twitched sporadically, now joined by one of his eyelids.

"fortunately, Link was indeed awake and watching. So, it came to our meeting where we discussed…"

"And just what was it you discussed?! What was this arrangement you agreed to?!" Lord Halshaw snapped indignantly, fists clenched, his entire face flushing red, clearly approaching breaking point.

"We were unable to fully conclude our conversation as weariness took its toll, at which point he graciously invited me to stay…"

"AHA, so you admit…!"

"In separate beds, on separate floors, fully clothed…" Zelda fought on, still remarkably composed, considering what she was up against. The only outward signs Link could see of the Lords bombardments was her tensed shoulders and her heart, that Link could hear, was racing.

"… as to this arrangement, I had been considering giving him a knighthood…"

"WHAT!" Lord Halshaw exploded, unable to contain himself any longer. "Now princess, I am willing to believe that you somehow held the power to gain the aid of the goddesses in repairing Hyrule castle. I am also more than willing to believe your tales a great hero who delivered us from the tyranny of the twilight, but it absolutely was not this scrawny, shit stained goatherder! It was most certainly some noble, probably among the ranks of your current knights, who is far too humble and modest to use it to advance his position. Why, it could very well be my own son, who is considered by many to be the greatest knight in your entire army…"

"Says who?!" came a jeer from among the ranks. "Yeah, he's a tosser!" piped up another.

"SILENCE!" The incensed noble roared, rounding on them. "I will not have my family mocked like this, especially from peasants and the common soldier. I demand respect!" Whirling back to point accusingly at the princess he ranted "You have always had an issue with your fellow nobles, particularly with your farcical notion that it is just as much the common folk that make this kingdom great as it is our long-standing noble bloodlines. This idealised vision of the hoi polloi has clearly blinded you to the blatant falsehood of whatever cock-and-bull story this milk swilling, cowardly con artist has swindled you with! And now you consider elevating him to our level!"

"Lord Halshaw, I know Link to be the hero of twilight, because I assisted in guiding him on his quest and even fought alongside him in the final battle against the dark lord Ganondorf!" Zelda countered finally raising her voice in warning.

The Lord, fuelled by madness at this point howled with derisive laughter. "Please, princess, spare me your girlish fantasies of riding into battle with a dashing hero! We all know girls can't fight!"

His laughter was short lived as his expression turned from anger to fear at the princess's next line, calm yet laced with an undercurrent of menace. "Link, I require your bow and a quiver of arrows."

Startled by suddenly being addressed directly, having been transfixed on their, albeit one sided, battle of wits, Link shock himself from his daze only to gaze quizzically at the princess. Surely, she wasn't actually considering his pincushion idea? "your highness?" he asked bemused.

"I feel a little demonstration is in order." Came her cryptic response. He wasn't sure what she had planned but he never-the-less did as commanded and quickly fetched his bow and arrows from where he'd placed them by the door.

Taking his bow and giving him a nod of thanks, Zelda turned back to the crowd. "Citizens of Ordon, Soldiers of the 31st…" Zelda addressed the crowd, assured and authoritatively, adding sarcastically "loyal advisers" and casting a withering eye over Lord Halshaw. "It is undeniable that the twilight invasion affected us all. Each of you, I'm sure, experienced some trauma during those dark times. While it is true that it was so far reaching that you would struggle to find any in our great kingdom untouched by it, it is equally true that most know not how it came to pass or what brought it to an end."

Zelda took a breath and nocked an arrow, before continuing "I know each of you deserve the whole story, however I fear, if I endeavoured to tell it all we would still be here tomorrow, so…"

"Save your warbling and get to the point!" The Lord spat, regaining some of his nerve.

"the point…" Zelda drew back the bow string "I will tell you, who was behind it all…" She aimed straight at Lord Halshaw. He flinched. "and how he ended."

In a swift fluid motion, Zelda brought the bow up and to the right and loosed the arrow. The eyes of the crowd all followed its flight, straight and true, right into one of the targets hung from the surrounding trees, striking with a resounding thud.

Bullseye!

First there was a stunned silence. Then came the applause. Even Link, despite having witnessed her prowess in archery first hand, was astonished.

After the applause began to die down, Zelda continued "The ultimate perpetrator and mastermind of the twilight invasion was a malicious ancient being known as Ganondorf, a wielder of powerful dark magic and a formidable warrior. He usurped the throne of the twilight realm and then, using his dark power to corrupt its people, he manipulated them into taking over Hyrule." She nocked another arrow.

"Link, the chosen hero of the goddesses, fought against these forces for many months, travelling the length and breadth of the kingdom to find ways to diminish his power, with the help of some noble allies." Zelda drew back the bowstring and Lord Halshaw's next retort died on his lips.

"after six months and many sacrifices, the final confrontation came." She Loosed another arrow into another target. Another bullseye!

It was then that Link noticed someone watching from behind a bush at the entrance to the village. It was Ilia, staring, seemingly spellbound by the princess's tale. Link found himself trying to decipher the many emotions that flashed across her face, Zelda's voice briefly fading into the background as he spied wonder, exhilaration and horror hang on her features.

The thud of another arrow finding it's mark brought Links attention back to the Zelda's words. "… so, with Link wielding the Blade of Evil's Bane and me possessing the arrows of the light spirits, we pursued Ganondorf on Links faithful mare, Epona…" At her mention Epona gave a hearty neigh.

"Together, we brought him down from his horse, and Link dismounted to finish him. It turns out, however, that the dark lord was far from defeated, and after using his magic to create a barrier, rendering me unable to assist Link, they engaged in a most ferocious duel before Link, the chosen hero, ran Ganondorf through with the Blade of Evil's Bane, finally ending his reign of terror, once and for all! With Ganondorf slain peace and light could return to the kingdom, all thanks to Link!" With her tale concluded, she loosed her fourth and final arrow with a theatrical flair and the crowd broken into enthusiastic applause and cheers for the hero and the princess.

Zelda waited for the applause to die down before making a final address to the audience "Link is a great hero, and like so many, he bares many burdens even after the story has finished. I ask that you respect that, along with the sacrifices of the many others who played their parts in helping rid this world of that tyranny. As such, it was distressing for me to see Link treated with such disrespect due to the ignorance of a member of my court, and the misunderstanding that arose from it. I am aware, also, that this disrespect has been extended to many of you and this court squabble has disrupted your necessary daily duties. For that, on behalf of the court, I apologise. I thank you all for your patience and your support during this incident, however I do not wish to keep you from your lives any longer. Go forth and may the goddesses bless you."

With that, there was a further round of applause before all the villagers bowed or curtsied and began to file off back towards the village. Link glanced off to the bush where Ilia had been hiding, only to find it empty. She had gone.

"Legate Grodmere" Zelda called.

"Yes, your highness?"

"I thank you and your men for their service. I intend for us to leave by late afternoon so please ensure all is prepared for our prompt departure."

"Yes, your highness!"

With that the legate barked some orders and the soldiers marched off in the same direction as the villagers. The princess let out a long weary sigh. It would seem the confrontation had taken quite a lot out of the young royal.

Link, meanwhile, was overcome with an enormous sense of relief. He hadn't felt so light in ages. The princess had saved him from a fate worse than Ganondorf… well not quite but it was certainly close. Zelda turned to him and gave him her small smile with a tinge of sadness. They locked eyes and each bowed just as they had, at their fateful reunion the day prior.

There were just four who had not joined the applause for the princess and the hero. Lord Halshaw, likely realising the battle was well and truly lost, was attempting to slink away quietly before he incurred any more damage to his reputation.

Unfortunately, the elation of the battle coming to an end hadn't led to a lapse of memory from the princess. "Where do you think you're going, Lord Halshaw?" She called imperiously.

"leaving you to your victory, your highness, I clearly misjudged the situation and I have paid the price." The Lord remarked, trying to hide his anger and despair behind an air of apathy.

"Really?! I was under the impression that you were running from a diplomatic incident for which you are entirely responsible and which you, therefor, are required to fix, by apologising to all those affected by it."

"Your highness, surely you can't be serious?" The beleaguered Lord wailed, seemingly aggrieved by the notion.

"Oh, I am deadly serious Lord Halshaw when I say that your position on the council is currently on very thin ice and will be for some time, until you have demonstrated to me that you are capable of being reliable and responsible." The princess stated coolly.

The crushed and cowed Lord shuddered. "What must I do, your highness?" he enquired despondently.

"You already know what is required, first you apologise to Link…"

"But, your highness…" Halshaw whined pathetically.

Zelda just gave him a look, a look that told him he would never wriggle out of it in a million years.

"Fine, I'm sorry"

"say it to HIM"

"I'm sorry Link"

"that's Sir Link, hero of Hyrule, chosen hero of the Goddesses to you!" Zelda dictated, though Link could see a twinkle in her eye. She was clearly enjoying this.

"You can't be… arghh I'm Sorry Sir Link, hero of Hyrule, chosen hero of the Goddesses." Halshaw muttered through gritted teeth.

"what are you sorry for?" Zelda prompted almost gleefully.

"I'm sorry for not believing you were the hero of Hyrule" he said monotonously.

"And?"

"I'm sorry for disrespecting you."

"And?"

"I'm sorry for accusing you of ungentlemanly conduct towards our most illustrious highness"

"Very good, Lord Halshaw, Now all you need to do is prepare your official apology to the soldiers of the 31st and Ordon's Citizens, for which you should have a good template prepared from last night."

"Your highness?!"

"I expect it to be ready by the early afternoon to be given outside the mayors house. Is that understood?"

"Yes, your highness." The Lord hissed.

"Then you are dismissed."

The Lord and his cronies slumped off towards the village, muttering.

That just left Link and Zelda alone on the ledge. Silence hung between them for but a moment before Link, unsure of proper etiquette, extended a hand awkwardly. "Thank you, your highness" he said earnestly, hoping she would understand the full extent of what he was thanking her for. Zelda merely glanced at his hand, before her gaze drifted off towards the village. Link was beginning to think he'd done something wrong when her gaze came back to him and she broke into a wide smile and shook his hand. "you're quite welcome, hero. I have to admit. I had my doubts about whether you'd hold out against the Lord's goading but you performed admirably for one's first experience of courtly politics." She said with a mixture of mirth and relief.

"Well there were several times when he almost got me. I was almost hoping you'd use the bow on him." Link admitted ruefully.

"Oh, I could sense it just from your presence, and to be honest, that thought did cross my mind." Zelda held back a giggle.

Then silence descended again until the princess made a most uncharacteristically sheepish request. "Link, as I do not wish to go through the inconvenience of performing another illusion spell, would you mind assisting me to the ground with you clawshot?"

"Oh err, of course not princess" Link stammered, realising the implication. He scanned the tree canopy for a suitably sturdy branch. His plan, to avoid any awkward closeness, was simple. Attach the clawshot to the branch and then allow Zelda to take it and lower herself down. It wasn't like it was that hard to operate.

Link succeeded with the first part of the plan, making the perfect shot to the perfect branch. Unfortunately, Zelda clearly wasn't aware of his masterplan as she suddenly wrapped her arms firmly round his chest. The sensation of her pressed against him sent Link into a state of shock, causing him to pull hard on the trigger. Zelda suppressed a scream as, instead of gracefully swinging down from the ledge, she clung to Link for dear life as they rocketed upwards towards the canopy.

Link had just enough time to react before they took a rather up close and personal class of dendrology with an approaching trunk as he reversed the clawshot trigger and they descended down to the safety of solid ground, albeit in a less than classy manner.

It was only when they touched down that Link realised just how tightly Zelda was clinging or the fact that she'd buried her face in his neck and had her eyes squeezed shut. Her heart was pounding too.

After a few seconds with no response he patted her gently on the back as he softly spoke. "Zelda, we've landed. It's alright" he said comfortingly.

Zelda let go of him with a start, blushing with embarrassment. "I'm not a fan of heights" she whispered after a moment avoiding eye contact. "I wasn't either before I began my adventure" He admitted, hoping to dispel her nerves.

It seemed to work as after a few seconds her heartrate return to a more reasonable level and her blush faded away. It was almost disappointing as it was rather cute, he thought before catching himself. Where in Hyrule did that come from!?

Zelda, meanwhile, was busy straightening out her dress and failed to notice the blush growing on Links face. "So, Link, I'm guessing you have a herd that requires your watchful eye?" She enquired, making some final adjustments to her gloves.

"Actually, being goats, they're referred to as a tribe." He corrected, awkwardly trying to bring some order to his messy ashe brown locks. "I'm guessing, you have some princess duties to do?"

"Indeed I do, Indeed I do." Zelda confirmed casually.

Their eyes finally met again. "Zelda, are you really leaving again this afternoon?" Link asked unable to mask his disappointment.

"Yes" she sighed "regrettably, my responsibilities as princess demand that I return to the castle as soon as possible."

"I intend for us to meet again before I go." She said, turning to leave. "after all you still owe me an explanation regarding my necklace."

With that she glided away.

Link had just one thought in his head.

"uh oh!"


	8. An end and a new beginning

**A.N: Well here it is folks, my longest chapter so far and the final one in Ordon, at least for the foreseeable future. Hope you like it and please give feedback if you feel like it. It's much appreciated.**

**Chapter 7 – An end and a beginning**

It was mid-afternoon on Ordon Ranch.

The scene was just the same as it had been yesterday. Link sat in the same spot, same sketchpad in his lap, in the same green tunic and hat, watching the same goats, under the same sun.

To an outside observer nothing would seem to have changed, yet to Link, everything had. He knew that the world hadn't undergone some miraculous metamorphosis. Spring had not suddenly arrived as there was still a slight chill in the air and the wildflowers that would dot the fields had yet to bloom. The suns path had not changed, nor the illuminating power of its rays. Despite this everything seemed a little brighter. It was ultimately a matter of perspective and to say that his had been shaken could be counted as the understatement of the century.

Link sighed, and tried once more to actually focus enough to start a sketch. So far all he'd managed was two parallel lines intended to be one of the Goats hind legs. It was an odd habit, but Link always found it easier to start at the back and work forwards when drawing goats, and he wasn't going to change it any time soon. Unless he went travelling again? Or found a new home?

Yesterday the negative voices would have incinerated any such notions as soon as they appeared but not today. His inner demons were still there, but today they had an adversary, not powerful enough to vanquish them but strong enough to keep them at bay. An ally he thought he'd lost… until last night… until SHE helped him reignite it. Hope.

It was a feeling he'd not been graced by since his choice to return to Ordon, more down to obligation, he realised now, than a genuine desire on his part. While he'd been travelling, the ghosts and demons that haunted him were in constant pursuit but he held onto the hope he could out run them. He'd thought, perhaps, the familiarity of his home and "family" would provide a safe haven to recover, before moving on. It was that faith, that belief he had clung to that had led him not to home, but a cage that had allowed his pursuers to catch and possess him. Possess him… just as Ilia had sought to do, ever since his return. She'd clung to him, just as he'd clung to Ordon. Could that mean that Ilia…

In his mind's eye he had a vision of her face as she'd hung spellbound at Zelda's recounting of the final battle. Her face had held a story of its own, of many colours, but one dominated above all others. As he gazed into her terrified visage, he heard Zelda's confession from the night before. "You aren't the only one to be broken by the Twilight" the words echoed in his head and he finally knew the full implication of that statement.

Link had told himself time and again that he was the only one who the twilight had truly broken. Others may have been hurt but outside of the physical consequences of the experience, they had emerged unscathed. He had once described his feelings to Rusl as that of being lost and alone, drowning in an underwater cave with no foreseeable escape. He was beginning to think that the cave was rather more crowded than he'd originally predicted.

And yet, none of them would ever truly understand what he went through. None except Zelda. Her words and her haunted look from the previous night had assured him of that. Their backgrounds may have been polar opposites, their life's, and indeed, their stories within the twilight may have taken different paths, but it was clear from the fleeting moment's glimpse behind her mask that she had seen just as much as he had.

Despite being trapped in the same metaphorical cave, there was one thing Zelda possessed, that had thus far evaded him… an exit strategy! With her words of sympathy and encouragement last night it would seem that she was not only willing but wished to share it with him. She would be his guide. Well, Link wasn't generally one for accepting help but, given his situation and the lady offering, he wasn't about to refuse such compassion. He wasn't about to be a charity case though either. If he was going to accepting her offer, he would do anything he could to ease her burdens in return. That is if he was even capable of helping her?! That was assuming her offer was still on the table, what with the trouble his actions last night indirectly caused and the fact that he was currently still in possession of her necklace?!

The necklace seemed to expand in his pocket as his thoughts were brought to focus on it. The delicate jewel was still in two parts, as he had the horrible suspicion that, with his rough, calloused and tactless touches, he'd probably end up breaking it further. He seemed far better at that than fixing things, particularly himself.

Deciding to divert himself from slipping into sourness, Link turned his attention to the necklace's owner, a remarkably easy task as, along with the necklace, still burning a hole in his pocket, his tunic still bore the trace of her fragrance. It really did seem that since she'd burst back into his life, her presence was inescapable in one sense or another. Not that that was an unpleasant prospect, as contrary to his previous fears, she seemed to bring him a feeling of tranquillity.

He marvelled once again at how her voice could carry such authority and strength, and yet at other times held the serenity of a spirit spring. The Zelda he saw squaring off against Lord Halshaw seemed a million miles from the gentle wisdom and compassion of the night before, yet it seemed from first impressions that this night and day contrast quintessentially defined the princess's very being. She certainly defied his expectations, from what little he knew of her from his adventures.

Grace, dignity and wisdom were not surprising traits for a princess, but her wit, tenacity and capacity for compassion inspired a greater admiration for her than he had already held. That had all been remarkably displayed in her battle that morning with Lord Halshaw. She had crushed her opponent with efficiency and class, while offering words of understanding and sympathy to her people caught in the fray. Link, being but a goatherd and one-time adventurer, had never witnessed anything quite like it. If that's what Zelda called court diplomacy he wouldn't mind witnessing her doing more of it, although preferably without him being caught in the middle. Quite frankly he wouldn't mind seeing more of her in any capacity…

Link blinked. What was with his brain today? He shook himself. "Oh well, might as well get back to my… sketch" He mumbled, tailing off as he beheld his sketchpad, rather less empty than when he'd started his ruminations.

There on the page was a singularly impressive depiction of Princess Zelda in profile, just as he saw her during her tale of Ganondorf's defeat, all the more remarkably for the fact he hadn't been consciously aware he was doing it. It would seem he had Zelda on the brain.

The goats leg he had started with had morphed into one of her signature braids that frame her face, while said face itself had, rather unflatteringly, emerged from his initial cursory line for the animal's rump. He considered the irony that something as beautiful as Zelda's face had materialised out of a goat's backside. Midna would have probably found it hilarious. He wasn't so sure about Zelda herself. Would she see the humour of it? He decided if she ever saw it, he'd leave out that bit.

So lost was Link in his thoughts that he failed to notice a figure approaching, with hesitant uneasy steps. He was only alerted to company as a shadow was cast over his picture. "she's pretty amazing isn't she." Came a small, forlorn voice from behind him.

Link started, jumping up and whirling round to meet Ilia, nervous and uncomfortable, eyes darting everywhere, except at him. After an awkward pause as she became fixated on his boots, she stammered "I… I came to apologise… for what I said… and what I did." She picked at the sleeve of her shirt as silence fell and Link waited for her to continue. The moment dragged on and he seriously considered stepping in simply to break the tension, when Ilia's eyes abruptly locked onto his and an imploring plea spilled forth from her quivering lips "Link, please forgive me, I was angry, I overreacted and I… I said some things I didn't mean to."

Now, Link was one to hold a grudge and equally didn't enjoy seeing his former best friend upset, regardless of what she'd put him through recently, however part of her apology rubbed him the wrong way. It underplayed the severity of what she'd said and done. It wasn't just a case of saying some hurtful words. It was making some frankly ridiculous claims that almost landed both himself and princess Zelda in a political scandal the likes of which he'd never live down, had the mud stuck. Ultimately, he did decide to drop the matter, but that was more due to him wishing to, if possible, avoid another explosive argument. Also, his more recent revelations about Ilia's scars from the Twilight were pressuring him to let it be.

Biting back a more acidic response, he settled for a rather flat mumble of "You are forgiven." Ilia seemed to accept this response with a slight nod before gazing off towards the goats, still apprehensive. She clearly had more she wished to say.

Her focus drifted to his sketch of Zelda and despite it being upside down to her view, she still examined it intently. "You know, I'm not surprised you fell for her." She said morosely.

Link groaned. Here we go again! "for the last time Ilia, I'm not in love with Zelda!" he snapped in exasperation.

"Link I don't blame…"

"Ilia, let me make one thing clear, I DO NOT LOVE ZELDA! Heck, I haven't known her long enough to be entirely sure I could even class us as friends. I hope we are but the fact is I only met her a few times on my adventures, and in those times, she gave me guidance, she sacrificed herself to save a friend and then, having rescued her, we fought together. we may share a bond but it is one of great mutual respect, borne of equally great hardship, not some romantic folly. Believe it or not, my naivety does have its limits and falling in love with a beautiful princess is definitely beyond them."

"Yet you can't help bringing up that she's beautiful." Ilia rolled her eyes as she spoke.

"So! It's not like that's even up for debate. Word has gone around for years that Princess Zelda was among the most Beautiful ladies in the land!" he argued.

"That doesn't mean you had to bring it up or indeed that you had to sketch her." She countered.

"I didn't choose to do that! It just… happened." Link blurted only to instantly give himself a good hard mental slap for giving her more fuel.

"Oooh, I seeee" Ilia drawled sarcastically "so you're suggesting you produced what is arguably your best drawing by accident. That it just popped onto the page without you even thinking about it."

"Well, yeah, sort of."

"Honestly Link" Ilia scoffed "even if I did believe that, it would only prove all the more how much you love her. To produce a work like that from memory… that doesn't JUST happen."

"Well it just did." Link rumbled wearily, just wishing this trial would end. Ilia turned her back to him, crossing her arms. He expected to hear another sarcastic rant of bitterness and anger. Her response however, when it finally came to fill the growing expanse of emptiness between them, was one of desolate resignation. Even the mechanics of the world itself seemed to conspire to convey the misery as the sun hide behind the one cloud in the sky.

"You used to tell me everything, Link. We used to hold no secrets. Now you don't tell me anything. You're too stubborn to even admit to what is clear as day for those with eyes to see. I saw how you looked at her when you reunited, a look I wished you'd give me… but it wasn't to be." Her voice had begun to quiver and she gulped "All I wanted was a reason, something to soothe my heart with the knowledge that there was nothing I could have done and yet when you had that perfect reason handed to you on a silver platter, you refuse to use it. Do you think I'm foolish or are you so deep in denial that you can't even admit it to yourself? If that is truly the case then I feel sorry for you." With that bitter coda to her overture, she gave the briefest of brief glances over her shoulder before returning her gaze to the path back to the village.

Link was stumped on a response to her that wouldn't reignite Ilia's fiery temper. Eventually, with neither the weather or Ilia making any effort to dispense with the mournful atmosphere, he went with the only answer he had that, hopefully, wouldn't be interpreted as confrontational.

"I'm sorry, Ilia, but I cannot give an answer I do not believe." he spoke in little more than a whisper, but she heard him as she jerked with a start. He expected her to lash out at him. Instead came a barely audible whisper, even to his sensitive ears. "So, it's denial then."

Link swallowed a protest and silence hung once between the pair, broken only by the occasional bleat from the tribe and the rustle of the grass and trees in the light breeze. The cloud had moved on and the sun once again showed its face. the softer light and the longer shadows drew his attention to the fact it would not be more than an hour till twilight. His attention was caught by ilia's shadow and then his own, noting how even they seemed to prophesise the complete demise of their friendship as they seemed to lean away from one another.

The silence was dispersed by an unexpectedly pensive question. "What happened to you, Link?"

He had heard some form of that question many times but then it had always carried a weight of accusation, that was notably absent. There was no resentment, no hostility, just hurt and confusion. Link made an executive decision. It was time to bring both their ghosts out into the light.

"The same as I suspect has happened to you." He replied sombrely. Ilia whirled round, wide eyes moist, lips quivering, voiceless as Link dove into their unspoken torment for the first time. "The twilight came and snatched us away. It tortured us. It consumed us and then it discarded our remains."

He'd tried to make it sound wise and poetic like Zelda but ended up under the impression it sounded like pretentious melodramatic garbage. Having tried to emulate Zelda unsuccessfully, he concluded that wholesale word theft was the sincerest form of flattery. The next line would either make or break this conversation. "you are not the only one to have been broken by the twilight."

Her expression remained a haunting pained mask. She was not beyond speech and yet no protest sprung forth, no objection raised against his diagnosis of their strife. Her lack of voice pushed him to proceed deeper into the dark chasm of which both had undeniably been acutely conscious of but had tried hopelessly to flee from.

"You ask what happened to me. The truth is we BOTH changed. We BOTH lost part of ourselves to the Twilight. It's hard to say how much, particularly as we've both been in denial of the others loss." Ilia begin to blink back tears but Link felt himself swept up in an almost cathartic release. "The parts of us that escaped were left ravaged. I do not believe either of us has even started to heal the deep wounds that remain. I instead tried to run away and you… you tried to cling to a love for a boy who no longer exists." Now it was Link who turned away, not out of anger but from the shame that as his former best friend shrunk away on the verge of tears, he could only feel a sense of liberation that spurred him further.

"That innocent boy saw too much to survive. You could not imagine the things I've seen, what it's like to carry the weight of a Kingdom on your shoulders…" Emotions of all hues spilled forth as the cauldron of passionate poisonous broth he'd tried so long to contained boiled over. "… I have faced death countless times. I have fought beast and monstrosities too hideous to describe. I have watched friends sacrifice themselves to give life to others! I have seen the downfall of civilisations and my nemesis was the greatest manifestation of evil known to this world!... I DID THIS AND EMERGED UNSCATHED!..." he bellowed to the sky, startling the goats, although he was oblivious as his voice fell to bitter muttering. "with little training, few allies and a seemingly endless supply of courage, I seemed to achieve the impossible. Well, with all that has happened since, I began to wonder… did I achieve any of that on my own merit or was it all a result of me being the chosen hero? Humph, it's almost funny, achieving the impossible made me doubt I could achieve anything of any worth ever again." With that baring of his soul finally complete, Link staggered slightly under the exertion of such an emotional purge, and yet he felt a great weight had been alleviated, at least temporarily.

Light of heart was soon joined by light of head as, sensing movement behind him, he swung round, only to be struck round the face so hard he could almost see the three goddesses laughing at him.

Ilia loomed before him, tears of sadness replaced with tears of rage, her whole body shaking as she yelled "How dare you, Link! How dare you think so lowly of yourself! How dare you think so lowly of me!" As fast as the rage had manifested it dissipated equally quickly. Obviously taken aback by her own outburst, she took a step back and tried to soothe her ire with some calming breaths. A moment later, still far from settled, yet determined to make her point, she resumed her speech.

"How can you dismiss the many mornings when Rusl trained you? Do you not recall the many small adventures you went on to save Talo or Colin or Beth over the years? Father always says even the greatest trees start from humble roots. AND… do you seriously think that I, the Mayors daughter would ever fall for someone who wasn't special. I may be a more open-hearted girl but even I must have my standards." The last line was clearly intended as a joke as she briefly flashed a smile, but it was hollow and the delivery was undermined by the slight quake in her voice.

Link, never the less, appreciated the attempt to lighten the mood. It had been a long time since they'd last shared a joke so despite its poor presentation he gifted it with a wry chuckle and a smile of his own. He also had to admit she did make some good points, as much as his demons sought to dismiss them.

It was only after another short interlude that he realised the change in Ilia. The Ilia he'd come to know post Twilight would have revelled in the opportunity to rant and rave at his behaviour, would have demanded he explain everything he'd just brought up during his little exorcism and most certainly wouldn't have accepted him having feelings for another, which she'd seemed to indicate. Of course, he didn't really harbour such feelings for Zelda but he wasn't going to bring up that unwinnable argument again.

An idea popped into his head and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. "Have you been speaking with Zelda?"

Offense shot briefly across the girls features, only for her gaze to fall to the floor as she replied meekly "yes, Father demanded I apologise."

"I'm guessing your conversation went beyond a simple apology?"

Ilia merely nodded sheepishly, still not meeting his eyes, hands stuffed in her pockets and Link glimpsed the ghost of the girl he'd known as a child.

"Share any of her wisdom?" He asked coyly.

Her shoulders slumped and she scuffed the ground, eventually answering with much hesitation and regret. "Yes, she led me to accept my foolishness…" she gulped. "You were right. I had tried to cling to you to save me from having to facing my demons even as I ignored yours. I took our relationship for granted and refused to accept that it could change, and with that I drove us further apart. I dismissed your pain and selfishly thought myself the only one scarred, and for all that, Link, I am truly sorry." Concluding her own moment of cleansing, she graced him with a weak teary eyed smile.

"That goes both ways, Ilia. I, too, failed to fully consider the extent of what you went through." For the first time since his return Link decided to try to close the gap between them, placing a conciliatory hand on her shoulder. She did not retreat, yet he felt her tense under his touch and so relinquished it, turning to watch the tribe graze in the soft orange glow of a sun heralding its imminent departure. The scene, with the goats now calmed after his outburst, was serene and yet this was the first time he had been able to appreciate it.

For a moment they both stood together and admired the sight until Ilia spoke, quiet and wispy in the crisp early evening air. "Link, there's no going back to the way things were, is there?"

"No." Link shook his head, eyes not leaving the tribe.

Suddenly Ilia's hands were grasping his arms and he found himself spun round to face her. Her eyes were red but held no more tears, instead boring into him with a look of sombre determination. "If you still value the friendship we had, if you still care about me at all…"

"Ilia, I never stopped…" His words were halted with a finger to his lips.

"…then I need you to do some for me. Please!" Sighing deeply, she lowered her head, preparing herself for the next line. Link, recognising her trepidation and reluctance, braced himself for whatever was to come and waited.

"I need you to leave. For a year, maybe two…" That wasn't quite what he had been expecting as his gormless slack-jawed expression acutely displayed. "… I cannot heal with you here. You are a reminder of what I suffered and what I lost."

He should have been offended or at least hurt, Link reasoned, but instead he was graced with a wave of relief and gratitude, as if being pardoned from a lengthy prison sentence. He'd struggled since his arrival back in Ordon to justify his stay, only to find none and yet guilt ate away at him at the thought of leaving without a good reason. Now Ilia had offered him deliverance. It would seem she knew this, as she continued. "This is for your sake as much as mine. I could tell, deep down, that you feel trapped here, whether by this place itself or by my presence. That was part of what hurt me so much. Regardless, as the saying goes… if you love someone set them free. Well, you are free…" Her voice cracked and her lips were quivering as she bayed him a bittersweet farewell. "Goodbye Link."

Without waiting for his answer, she turned to leave, only to stop as he grasped her arm. "I'm sorry Ilia… but thank you… for understanding."

She merely nodded without looking back, but with that small acknowledgement he let her go. Ilia's retreat was hasty and he observer her wiper her eyes just as she left the ranch catching the occasional ragged sob.

Guilt stirred within him. He felt heartless for not shedding a tear for her but found himself incapable, given his genuine elation at the prospect of escape. He might have danced had he had a tune in mind. Alas he wasn't much good at dancing, although in truth, he'd never really tried and his memory of music was sparse. He didn't get much time to sample the finer things of life delving into dangerous temples or herding goats. Speaking of which…

Link glanced towards the sun that was reaching out to touch the trees on the horizon. His cue to get to work… possibly for the last time. What would he do instead? That dilemma consumed his thoughts as he mounted Epona and set about herding them back to the barn. What really could he do? Where could he go? The fact was, he knew he couldn't stay in Ordon, however he did not wish to stay on the road like he had during his adventures. He required some stability. He thought back to Zelda's speech that morning and her mention of an arrangement. Was that purely meant as an alibi or was there a possibility of a real offer on the table? He pondered this as he made quick and efficient work of rounding them all up, all of them that is except for Midna. Why did she have to be so impossibly stubborn?! Did he have anything to possibly bait her with?

It was as he reached into his pocket that his blood went cold. Zelda's necklace… She'd said she intended to leave by late afternoon. Had he missed her? Was she waiting for him to come and return the necklace? He hadn't picked up the sound of marching that had so clearly announced their arrival so he assumed they hadn't left.

Link was about to abandon Midna to charge back to the village when a now familiar voice worked it's calming magic on him. "I trust my presence wont disturb you, Hero?" came the call of the princess, who was leaning casually against the ranch gate.

Bringing Epona to a jarring halt with a hard tug on the reigns, prompting a snort from the affronted mare, Link began a hasty explanation "Princess, you came. Your necklace…"

"That can wait, hero, it looks like your ward is getting away." Zelda interjected with a hint of amusement gesturing with a nod to his left. Link followed the gesture only to see Midna making a run for it.

Damn! With a growl of frustration, he kicked his stead into a gallop and charged down the field in pursuit of his wayward ward. He gained rapidly, however it would seem the nightmare nanny had predicted this and pulled off a swift about face. Link was forced to slow, lest he wish to audition for the circus, performing his own brand-new patented trick, forward somersault from horse followed by swift trampling.

Epona may have had the advantage when it came to straight line speed but Midna had superior agility. By the time Epona had turned, Midna was up at the fence on the other end of the field. "Great, just great!" he muttered "and of course, it had to happen in front of the princess."

He quickly established that just charging straight at the stubborn nanny wasn't viable. After some quick strategizing her surmised that the best tactic would be to approach along the line of the fence, letting it guide both him and his troublesome quarry back round towards the barn.

He brought Epona up to speed gradually as he rounded the bend towards Midna, who due to his slower, more considered advance, simply watched him gormlessly, chewing on a mouthful of grass. Just as Link reached striking distance Midna bolted, moving along the curve of the fence. Just as he'd predicted! With a feral grin he urged his stead to match speed with the fleeing nanny and managed to effectively drive her along the fence towards the barn.

Midna wasn't quite finished yet, however, as she suddenly decelerated, slipping behind Epona and darting for the middle of the field. Link, with his head now firmly back in the game, quickly adjusted and caught up. Bleating with dismay the nanny led him a merry dance, dodging and weaving but Link was unshakable. He could feel Zelda's gaze, watching with keen interest but that didn't distract him. After a couple of circuits of the field, Midna was successfully corralled back to the barn, just in time to watch the sunset.

In the shadow of the barn he dismounted and mopped his brow, regarding his handiwork with satisfaction.

After checking the tribe was settled and securing the barn gate, He'd expected to be accosted by Zelda and yet her scent seemed distant. Link glanced back up the field and noticed that she had not moved from her position at the ranch entrance. She seemed hesitant to enter. Was she afraid of goats as well as heights?

He waved for her to approach to which she nodded and slipped through the gate. Had she been waiting for permission? She wafted, prim and proper and light as the breeze into the centre of the field, now bathed in deep red, holding the same sense of curiosity and wonder she'd shown last night as she sought to take in every detail.

He trudged up the field towards her, leading Epona by the reigns, the strains of the day, more mental than physical, finally beginning to peek through with a sense of general weariness. As he reached a civilised distance for speaking, Zelda turned to greet him and his trepidation at the seemingly inevitable interrogation was somewhat eased by the sight of her cordial expression.

In the short yet illuminating time he had spent with the princess, Link had been led to the conclusion that she possessed three personas. The first, he called the mask, was rather cold and detached displaying little to no outward emotion. It's what she wears when dealing with enemies or vague acquaintances. The second was the veil, contained, composed but not as emotionally restricted. It was the small smile she graced him with much of the time, the glint of amusement in her eyes and in her voice. Then thirdly there was Zelda unleashed where here emotions were allowed to run riot, a persona he'd only caught the briefest glimpses of.

It was with the veil that he was greeted with. "So, this is the humble vocation of the chosen hero of the goddesses?" her dulcet tones laced of admiration and awe as she surveyed the ranch. "You've clearly been blessed with great skill. I must congratulate you on your handling of that troublesome charge…" at that line he spied a twinkle in her eye. Was she just teasing?

"and not forgetting the contribution of the mightiest mare in all hyrule." she patted Epona's muzzle fondly, who responded in kind by nuzzling into her hand.

"Did you come to see me or just to try and steal my horse through flattery?" Link quipped in a sudden flash of boldness.

"I have come, as you may recall, to claim a certain precious jewel that you are currently in possession of, along with an overdue explanation." She crossed her arms, yet the twinkle in her eye and the slight upturn of her lips remained.

Link rubbed the back of his neck as he sought to find the least controversial way of putting it. With a brief glance to the ranch entrance he fumbled "Well… you see… you fell asleep on the ledge, and I had to carry you to bed and errr, well… when I placed you on the bed, the necklace must have got caught on my tunic, and…"

"How could that happen? Surely the clasp for my pauldrons…"

"I'd already removed those things! They weigh an absolute tonne. How do you even manage with them all day?!"

"With great fortitude, and a shoulder massage from my handmaidens when I can get one. Anyway please, carry on"

There was a pause as Link was temporarily disorientated by the mention of shoulder massage. "Errr where was I?"

"With my jewels against your tunic." The princess replied nonchalantly. "For one with such a mastery of language, that was a rather poor choice of words" Link couldn't help thinking as he fought to keep his cheeks from burning.

"Well the necklace got caught on my tunic and the only way I could untangle it required me to first remove it from round your neck. Even then…" He pulled out the intricate chain of pendants from his pocket "I had to separate the pendant that was stuck, from the rest of the necklace. I'm sorry princess. I just hope it's fixable." Handing the necklace back to her, he stepped back and awaited a possible punishment. Any worry of that, however, was laid to rest with her next line.

"there is no need to apologise, indeed if anyone should be apologising it is I. If it was not for my impulsive behaviour and misjudging my own exhaustion, then the necklace, along with the entire fiasco this morning, could have been avoided. As to the damage, it is quick to mend." She began to examine her necklace, delicately and dexterously entwining it in her gloved fingers. "Now, let's see. Hmm well isn't that interesting." Zelda whispered with an air of intrigue.

That piqued his curiosity. "What's interesting?"

"Shhh" She snapped, shooting a glance his way before switching her attention back to the chains, staring with intense concentration. Despite the low light it took a matter of seconds for her to unravel the delicate jewel before him, now whole once more. If Link hadn't known better he could have sworn it was magic but there was no tell-tale glow from her hands.

"Do you know what this necklace represents?" She asked.

"Um… The three goddesses?"

"Yes, I commissioned its creation myself after the twilight invasion, as a reminder of their guidance and power and a message that no matter how bleak the situation I can trust them. It's one of the least ostentatious pieces in my collection and yet among my favourite." She held the chain with reverence as she gazed at the pendants, now only just visible as the sun dipped below the horizon. "All that however is of little relevance to why I asked. Do you know which pendant represents which of the three?"

"Well I think that the red one is Din…" Link said hesitantly

"The ruby, correct." Zelda confirmed

"… but I'm not sure about the other two." Link admitted after a pause. Zelda was about to speak when both their attentions were caught by a flicker from above. They both cast their gaze skywards and saw the first star prick the azure canvas soon followed by many more. It looked like it would be a spectacular night for star gazing. For a moment they simply marvelled at the cosmos, as it emerged in all its splendour, more comfortable in each other's company than the night before.

The peace was broken when Link picked up the sound of several heavy sets of footfalls approaching from the path to the village. "Princess, it sounds like your regiment is coming to retrieve you."

"Indeed, I'd wondered how long they'd wait. We still have a few minutes, correct?"

"Yes"

"Well then allow me to tell you of the other two of the golden goddesses. You actually wear the colour of your patron Goddess, Farore, the goddess of courage marked on my necklace by the green emerald on my right. Then lastly, we have Nayru, the Goddess of wisdom as represented by the blue sapphire on my left, resting over my heart… my patron goddess." She paused, placing a hand upon her chest and gazing up at the stars.

"Link, do you remember which pendant it was that caught on your tunic, THE hero's tunic?"

"The sapphire one." He saw where this was going.

"The blue of Nayru met the green of Farore and connected. One could almost consider it a sign from the Goddesses of their wish for us to connect. We share a bond, Link, one that could help heal both of us, if we nurture it." She said earnestly.

"Link, please understand that what I'm about to say is not an order or a request. I would not force you into anything and you are free to reject my offer, should you see fit."

Link nodded aware she had little time left as the heavy footfalls were growing ever closer.

"Link, you may recall me mentioning an arrangement during my clash with Lord Halshaw. Well I can't offer you that exactly, however if you head to Telma's bar in three days…"

"Your highness, are you ready to leave?" Came a call from the ranch gate. Link spied a dozen soldiers waiting impatiently just beyond the boundary line.

"In a moment!" she called back, hiding her irritation at being interrupted. "Link, if you wish to hear my offer, be at Telma's bar in Castle Town in three days. You need not accept; however, I very much hope you consider it."

"Your Highness!" another call, more impatient.

Zelda snorted in frustration, but realised she'd already pushed her luck. Hastily bowing and bidding him an apologetic but dignified farewell, she turned on her heel and rushed off towards her escort.

Link was left alone, with just Epona the stars and his thoughts for company. In a single day his world had been flipped on its head.

"Well girl, what do you make of that?"


	9. A sign of things to come

**A.N: Well here's the next chapter and given how long the last few have been I feel almost as though I'm short changing everyone with this relatively short one (just over 2,000 words! What a disgrace!)**

**Anyway, we're back to Zelda's study for some more interrogation. By the end of this chapter you may be seeing the pattern of how this story will unfold (if of course you haven't already) hence the chapter title. Anyway hope you enjoy this brief pitstop at the present.**

**Chapter 8 – A sign of things to come**

Zelda's study - 709 days A.G

He couldn't tell how much time had passed but he could guess from the fire still burning merrily and Zelda's half full wine glass that it couldn't have been that long from the beginning to the end of her tale. She certainly hadn't lost her touch for telling stories, though her delivery had been, understandably, far less bombastic than that of Ganondorf's demise.

It may not have been as dramatic or extraordinary but it never the less managed to steal his attention away from his surroundings, which were finally coming back into focus, as the princess brought her reminiscence to a close. Zelda had been a constant in his mind, however only now did the bookcases, the flickering of candles, the crackling of the fire and the smells of wax, wine and mahogany swim back into his consciousness.

The faint glow emanating from his chest area reminded him that he was still bound however, either out of mercy or from getting caught up in her own tale, Zelda had seen fit to loosen the magical ropes slightly. It was testament to both her oratory prowess and the bewitching power of her voice that he'd made no attempt to free himself. He'd tried to develop a resistance since their meeting in Ordon, with some limited success. Without her mask or veil, though, he rarely stood a chance, especially when dressed so, so… indecently!

He assumed she was completely oblivious as to what she did to him, because if she was aware then, not only would that mean his cover was blown, but also that would make her the cruellest, most devious lady he'd ever met! NO, not his beloved princess, she'd never be so evil!

He had to admit he did enjoy her retelling of the events of there first post-Twilight meeting, although he questioned some of her recollection. Perhaps the drink had gone to her head already, because he didn't remember their talk about the necklace having quite so many innuendoes. She also forgot to mention the whole clawshot debacle, although he suspected that particular memory slip may not have been an accident.

Her brisk tour of the events of their reunion had brought up some long burried questions he'd wished to ask but had been deprived of an appropriate moment to bring up. Perhaps fortune would deliver just such an opportunity in short order. That was provided he played along and didn't take a rather different opportunity, namely the chance to potentially escape.

Zelda concluded her tale, a far off look in her eyes. "We'd endured much, hadn't we?" she sighed. "but we've come a long way since then." She finally brought her focus back to him and seemed to pick up his slightly pensive expression.

"You wish to ask me something, Link?" It may have been a question but it came out more as a statement as she raised a brow in inquiry. Sometimes he wondered whether her magical abilities extended to mind reading. If they did then he truly was doomed.

Link cleared his throat, realising how dry it had become in the absence of speech. He glanced across at his own wine glass, which sat on the edge of the desk, untouched since he'd been bound. He now knew what his follow up question was going to be, but couldn't risk losing this chance to prove something he'd long been suspicious of.

"Zelda, when we talked that night, you asked me the exact same question that Rusl always did, ever since he moved to castle town, about whether Ordon was still my home. Not only that but when I gave my standard excuse, you responded as if you already knew it. So tell me princess, was it your mystical wisdom powers reading me like a book or did Rusl tell you I'd say that?"

"Well, to be fair, it was rather predictable."

"Oh really, and how was it that you both ended up asking the exact same question?" Link lent forward as far as his restraints would allow and gave her a penetrating stare.

To his surprise an impish grin spread across her face. "It's a very good question to ask and Rusl was clearly a very wise man for thinking of it." Zelda replied slyly, notably not meeting his eyes.

"Of course, you were the one who put him up to it in the first place." He rolled his eyes and slumped back into his antique chair.

"I didn't put him up to it! he was worried about you, and quite frankly, so was I. He already had a version of the question in mind, I simply persuaded him to change the approach to sound a little less… interrogatory. Ultimately, we both knew that you would only accept help once you came to reach that conclusion yourself. So, we didn't make demands, we simply repeated the question and trusted you to come to the realisation in time. And don't try to deny that you needed help, Link, we both did and there's no shame in that."

Link nodded in resignation, knowing she'd won again. "it's simply that… I trusted Rusl would keep our conversations a secret. He knew how personal they were."

"Yes, he knew that, but he also recognised that some secrets can't be kept, for the sake of the very person they belong to. He made a hard decision and believe me he felt guilty about betray your confidence, but as events since have shown, it was for the best."

"So, Princess, why did you really go to Ordon? Not the official spiel you fed the council about strengthening and supporting the local communities."

"I went there to help."

"The village or me personally."

"I considered both of equal importance, however as it so happens, Ordon was doing fine without me, unlike you…" Link was about to protest, despite Zelda's teasing voice when she said it. Her next line, however killed his reply before it left his lips. "You are forgetting another who was helped by my visit, particularly speaking with you…" was she referring to Ilia? "…me." Link would have assumed this was more teasing however her tone and countenance held only earnest gratitude. A bashful smile was his only recourse at receiving such a look from her and he just hoped the low light would hide the red creeping to his cheeks.

"Just being in your presence, gave me a sense of peace and having you so easily accept a less formal attitude with me, despite my position… it meant more to me than I think you realise. Not to mention our meeting granted me the first undisturbed rest since the end of our adventure."

"Are you implying it was my talk that put you to sleep. I'll have you know, I distinctly recall that I got a giggle out of you?"

"Indeed you did, for a moment there you were almost the wittiest person on that ledge." Zelda lent forward and Link thanked the goddesses for the fact she'd chosen to cup her head in her hands as she smirked, arms resting on the desk, strategically placed to preserve her modesty, her signature braids trailing across the mahogany surface.

"Hey, you didn't even get a chuckle out of me." Link replied in mock protest. He would have added crossing his arms for dramatic effect but due to a certain inconvenience he was denied that freedom.

Zelda scoffed. "It was never my intention to make you laugh and yet I remember getting more than a couple of wry smiles which, given your disposition at the time, can be classed as a magnificent accomplishment. Besides I said "wittiest person", not "made the wittiest remark" and it is an undeniable truth that I was, am and always will be the wittiest! I believe that was amply displayed by my exceptional performance the following morning." Her words feigned haughtiness but her unchanged manner and posture made her jest clear.

Her mention of that fateful forenoon brought forth another query that he'd never got to ask. "I wont deny your skill with words, overall or on that morning in particular. What I would dispute is your choice to leave me out of the loop regarding your defence. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I needed to know just how drunk Lord Halshaw and his officers had been that night before I could answer that." Zelda chimed with an air of deviousness, leaning back in her chair.

"Wait, so you're saying you made all that up. That you were just relying on the chance they wouldn't remember." He wasn't entirely surprised. He had thought things seemed a little fishy at the time, but he'd trusted that a royal princess wouldn't resort to such underhand tactics.

"you make it sound so bad, Link, and besides it wasn't ALL made up. They did have a tendency for a lot of barking and belching that kept the whole camp up most nights. I just didn't feel the need to inform them of my meeting with you, which I considered a personal matter, not one to pawed over and dissected by the court."

He was about to respond when his dry throat brought him back to the subject of his bindings. "Zelda, could you please take these bindings off?!"

"Link, you have committed a most serious crime against Hyrule's crown princess, and felons don't get released just by asking nicely, regardless of how gallant or handsome they are." Her tone started out accusatory, however it quickly sweetened until it was dripping with honey.

Teasing was nothing new with Zelda and that included some flirting from time to time… okay in recent months a lot of the time, but this evenings display was unprecedented. She was clearly trying to use her feminine wiles to sweettalk him into a confession. He wasn't going to make it so easy. He opened his mouth to deliver a witty repost along the lines of "You can't sweettalk me, regardless of how beautiful or charming you are." but caught himself just in time to reel the words back in before they dragged him out of the frying pan and into the inferno that was admitting his feelings.

Zelda upon receiving no immediate reply from him, added, with a gleam of devilry in her eye "plus, I enjoy having you at my mercy like this Link", simultaneously leaning forward once more, this time without her arms to save link from a disgraceful view.

Link's eyes almost popped out of his head, cheeks practically sizzling, as he summoned all his willpower to maintain propriety, even as he was persuading his brainpower back from a brief vacation. After regaining as much of his faculties as he could seem to afford, he decided to try once again appeal to Zelda's bountiful mercy. "Please Zelda, I need to drink" He forced with all the composure he could muster.

"Throat a little dry, Link?" She asked coyly.

"Please, I need a drink." He said again, voice underscored with slight desperation.

"Well, Link I can't let you go until I know you'll behave yourself or, of course, you confess, which would make things so much more pleasant for both of us." She paused, seemingly for dramatic effect. "If, however, you really are thirsty, then I suppose that leaves us with only one option… I serve your drink to you personally." She said with an impish grin.

Oh no!

"That, though, would go against my dignity…"

Phew! Hooray for small mercies

"…however," she pretended to ponder, tapping her chin in mock contemplation "I can't have you so parched you can't confess. Not to mention, I AM technically your host and it would be a most reprehensible reflection on me to leave a guest without sustenance."

"A worse reflection than binding said guest to a chair?!" Link interjected to try and put an end to this mad, yet disturbingly alluring idea.

"You have no one to blame but yourself" she chided, though in a manner more akin to addressing a man who was caught carving lewd shapes into someone's prized pumpkins, than committing treason.

"For what?!"

The princess clicked her tongue in disappointment, Brows tensing. "You're still denying it?! Well in that case, it is clear we must move on to the next item of evidence."

"Woah, Hold up. You haven't even explained what that first tale was supposed to reveal. I didn't steal anything. The necklace was an accident and your pauldrons were removed only out of necessity. The only crime I could be called out for, if you can even call it one, was not bowing to you correctly and that was due to ignorance."

Zelda didn't answer immediately, instead flicking her gaze to her wine glass she picked it up daintily and took another sip. She savoured the taste, frown melting away as she hummed in satisfaction, reclining back again.

"You are correct Link, you did not steal anything during those eventful days in Ordon. I do believe, however that my handling of the necklace debacle was the catalyst for your kleptomania, the inception of an idea. The idea that you could take anything you wished from me and I would never punish you…"

"Ah, come on Zelda, that's…" Link attempted and failed to cut her off.

"… and it didn't take long for you to set about testing that little theory of yours. Three weeks at the castle in fact." For making such an allegation, she was shockingly jovial about it.

"Really, what did I supposedly do?" came his significantly less cheerful reply.

"I simply call it… The Sponge and Tart Incident" She proclaimed with flair.

Link racked his brains in search of what in Hyrule's name that could be. He was struggling to think of anything such a title could possibly refer to. He remembered the meeting at the castle, the hair incident, "Leg-it Link" and the accident of one mare, a noble and whole lot of muck but he couldn't recall…

Ah!

She may have a case with this one!


	10. Hugs, Horns and Heroics

**A.N: So, here's another chapter. Hope everyone's still enjoying it. Some particular fans of Twilight Princess may have a few nit-picks of this chapter as, for example I only realised after completing it, that Telma isn't quite as tall in the game as I've written her to be. Oh well, it's artistic licence. I've also decided to make Castle town a bit bigger than in the game. I always found it to be a bit small.**

**As always this has been a tough write and as always feedback or constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated. Enjoy the show!**

**Chapter 9 – Hugs, Horns and Heroics**

Castle Town – 103 days A.G

"Fresh Fish!"

Link jumped as a fishmonger bellowed just a few feet away.

Market day! Of all the days Zelda had to pick for their meeting it had to be market day! Link had seriously considered not coming, his old self doubt that the princess's presence had seemed to suppress had reasserted itself following her absence. He'd even begun to second guess his recollection of their meeting. Surely a royal princess, particularly one with the wisdom and sophistication of Zelda, would not wish to become friends with an uncultured, sword wielding goatherd. She may respect him but that's quite different from actually being friends. Friends had things in common. What did they have in common? A shared history of misery. Well as the saying goes misery loves company.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" a disgruntled marketgoer barked shoving him aside so hard he was almost sent hurtling into one of the stalls.

It would seem that now was neither the time nor place to get lost in thought, he noted as he picked himself up, brushed off his green tunic and retrieved his hat. It took a couple of seconds for him to register, with some surprise, that the marketgoer who had almost introduced him, with extreme pain, to the wonder of scented candles and soaps was a Goron. It would seem that castle town had certainly become more cosmopolitan since he'd last visited.

They were few in number but Link caught glimpses, and scents, of a couple of Zora and the far more conspicuous forms of some Gorons milling about among the riotous throng that cascaded haphazardly through the cobbled streets. The town square, which only occasional emerged through the traffic, was a seething cauldron of barely organised chaos. The cacophony of clashing sounds and conflicting odours left him disorientated, nauseous and wishing he'd listened to his pessimist streak and just stayed at home.

The only thing that spurred him on was the hope of the princess's assistance and a feeling that their last meeting had lacked a sense of closure. Her ability to raise him above his nightmares just through her presence was unnervingly highlighted by the sense of extreme vertigo that consumed him after her sudden but inevitable departure. He hadn't sunk back to his lowest thankfully, but the fear of doing so was ever present. It may have only been two days but to Link it felt much longer.

Weaving, dodging and squeezing his way through the hubbub, it was with great relief that he finally found himself at a very familiar and mercifully deserted alleyway. The stone work reflected the sounds of the street but were generously dulled by comparison as he descended the well-travelled steps towards Telma's Bar.

Of all the places he would have imagined meeting royalty this certainly didn't spring to mind. He was about to enter when Link realised that something was off. This small sanctum, hidden within the maze of castle town had embedded itself deep in his memories. It was one of the few places he'd felt truly safe, at least once certain members of the resistance had stopped being so rude to him.

With such recollections he could recall almost every detail of the place and yet something seemed out of place… the door?! Upon further examination there was no doubt about it. The door had been replaced with a brand new, more ornate door. There was also a new sign by the door that simply stated "NO GORONS". That didn't seem like the Telma he knew either. Link felt a sense of trepidation and sadness at the thought that this place that held some of his few good memories from his adventure may have changed beyond recognition.

Hand hovering over the handle, he took a couple of deep calming breaths to brace himself to what might lurk beyond. He could hear it must be pretty rowdy in there, by no means as suffocating as in the streets, but still more than he was used to. Suddenly he heard raised voices approaching the door and dodged to the side, just in time to avoid a face full of oak, as it burst open and two clearly intoxicated patrons staggered forth. Singing loud and discordantly, they seemed completely oblivious to Link as they meandered their way towards the steps to the street, pursued by a stern but highly recognisable female voice. "… and don't come back until you're sober!" the tell-tale lilt leaving him in no doubt. Yep, that's Telma alright! Just hope she's not in a bad mood, although that would be a rare occurrence indeed.

Link hesitantly stuck his head round the door. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Bossman himself!" Telma loomed in the doorway just as tall, full figured and buxom as ever, and just as unafraid to show it. Her hands were on her hips but her broad grin gave away she was far from a seeing red. "Well don't just stand there like some punch-drunk Zora, honey! Give me a hug!"

Without waiting for a response, she grabbed his head, yanking him unceremoniously round the door and enveloped him in a suffocating and, to Link's innocent sensibilities, highly inappropriate bear hug… Suffocating for more than one reason!

So shocked was Link by this sudden assault that he initially didn't react allowing the Over-enthusiastic landlady to pin his arms to his sides. It seemed escape wasn't a question of strength but of position, and his was undeniably tricky, if he still wished to be able to look her in the eye afterwards and not get thrown out.

There was a whistle from a table on the left. "Hey lad, you should consider yourself lucky, If I were greeted like that…" came the voice of a clearly elderly gent.

"Now, now, enough of that Alf, this here's my nephew." Telma chided mildly but finishing with pride. Nephew?! Link started in surprise. This was the first he'd heard of it!

"Well 'e don't look like it." Said the man, who Link managed to catch a glimpse of as he craned his head away from Telma's bust. Small and squat, with a round red face, bushy white eyebrows and more beard than hair, he seemed the affable, jovial type.

"That's cos he's adopted." Telma replied cheerily, patting Links head so hard it was knocked back into her cleavage.

"Can you adopt me?" The man asked jokingly.

The fiery haired Landlady chuckled "Tragically, as much as I love you Alf, you're far too old for adoption now, plus I think my fiancé would have something to say on the matter. Besides I don't think your heart could take my hugs."

"Aye, maybe not, but I'd die a very 'appy man." The old man replied with a hearty guffaw. "Oh, if I were 25 years younger." He added wistfully.

It was at this point, as Link was starting to turn blue, that Telma finally registered him desperately tapping for timeout, on her arm, and loosened her grip on the beleaguered hero, who promptly gasped for air.

"I'm so sorry, honey, got a little carried away after not seeing you in so long." Telma patted him on the head, more gently this time, and finally released him. Link adjusted his hat for what seemed like the tenth instance on so many minutes and waved away her apology, feeling slightly guilty for staying away so long. "No need Telma, I'm just sorry I didn't visit sooner."

"Well Telly, aren't you gonna introduce me to your nephew? You seem awful fond of 'im"

"Of course! Link, this is Alfonzo Codgins Demerara, former officer of the royal guard, back when they were actually capable and respectable. Alf, this is Link, adopted nephew and grand hero of Hyrule…" At hearing this, Links stomach dropped and he averted his eyes to gaze at his boots. "He was the one who lead the resistance against the twilight and defeated the evil force behind it, with the help of the princess."

Link was about to correct her suggestion he led the resistance, however at the mention of the princess, Links eyes darted round the room in search of her, despite suspecting she wasn't here. He spied about fourteen patrons scattered around the various tables that dotted the room. The bar itself was empty apart from Louise, Telma's white cat, who sprawled across the counter as though she owned it. His fears of a complete renovation were laid to rest as he noticed that all was the same other than a couple of brand-new tables.

His attention was pulled back to the conversation as Alfonzo, who'd initially been stunned by the revelation of his hero status, now leapt up and grasped Link's hand and shook it vigorously. "By Jove, Sir, it is truly an 'onour to meet you. You 'ave done a great service to the people of this kingdom, including me, for which I thank you. AND you met the princess!" His tone turned melancholy and his eyes misted up. "I 'aven't seen the little tyke in over 10 years."

This piqued Link's interest. "You knew the princess?!"

"Aye, that I did and a right little rascal she was too… until, that is, the king died, goddesses bless 'is soul. It weren't surprisin', but she weren't the same after that." He sighed forlornly and added with bitterness. "course, that were the last time I saw of 'er."

"Why, what happened?"

"The council came and asked me to retire. Said I was too infirm for the job. Said they was concerned for my mental frailty. Well, it were true that my body weren't what it once was but my mind was sharp as ever. I knew they despised me for my close connection with the royal family, 'ticularly as I was middle bred, not of their precious bloodlines. Equally, I could not be bought. I were too familiar with the princess and I were too loyal to 'er and 'er family so I had to go. When I refused to go on my own they discharged me for dis… 'onourable conduct. I ain't seen 'er since." Finishing his sorry tale the old man took a deep swig from the pewter tankard that had been sitting at his table.

After a few seconds watching the beverage morosely he glanced back up at Link who simply stared in shock it his revelations. "Sorry, sorry sir Link, you didn't come 'ere to 'ear the blabbering's of an old fossil like me. You came to catch up with Telma and probably many other more important people no doubt."

"Well, errrr, actually, as wonderful as it is to see Telma, and I hope we do get time to catch up, I was summoned here to meet with the princess…" Link hoped this reveal wouldn't upset Telma. It was admittedly great to see her again, with her infectious cheeriness that could pick him up in even the worst situations.

Telma, thankfully, didn't take any perceived slight at his reason for visiting, while Alfonzo perked up considerably at the mention of his meeting with Zelda. "The princess is comin' 'ere?" he inquired fervently.

Link wasn't sure but was about to give a hesitant yes when Telma corrected him. "No, the princess wont be coming here. She will likely send an escort to fetch Link when she wishes to meet. She definitely wont meet outside the castle though." She explained and then clarified what they both suspected with a rare flame of genuine spite. "Orders of the council!" she hissed through gritted teeth.

After a shared look of disgust between the two old friends, Alfonzo turned his gaze back to his new one. "Link, would it be too much to ask a favour of you. I 'ave tried several times to send letters to the princess, 'owever I 'aven't received any reply. I suspect the council 'as someone check 'er mail under the "banner" of security, so I doubt she ever got it. If I wrote a letter for 'er before you are summoned, could you deliver it for me? I know it's much for an old man who you barely know, but it would sooth my conscience."

Link had never been one to turn down a person in need and he wasn't about to start today. There was a uncharacteristic niggle of suspicious poking at the back of his mind but he dismissed it "Sure, it shouldn't be any trouble, provided castle security hasn't tightened to the point of performing strip searches on guests!"

The old ex-guard's face lit up like a man who'd won four consecutive bets on the Hyrule Darby. "Oh thank you so much Sir Link" he rejoiced, jumping up and grabbing Link's hand again to give it another spirited shake, prompting some bemused stares from some of the bars other patrons.

Telma stepped in to save Link's rapidly numbing arm. "Alf. he's gonna need that for delivering the letter. How about I get you a quill and some parchment and you can get started."

Alfonzo finally dropped Link's hand. "Aye, sorry, just got a little carried away myself there. That would be grand Telly."

"Link, honey, while I'm getting the stuff for Alf here, how 'bout you go and say hi to Louise. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Following the merry Landlady's instructions Link made his way up to the bar, subtly surveying the other patrons, purely for curiosities sake, as he knew Telma wasn't the type to tolerate rebel rousers in her establishment. Most beheld little to no intrigue, being your stereotypical customers with nothing but frivolous conversations. The two of most interest were a man with a face like a shrivelled grape, puffing on a pipe the shape of a pig's head and a trio of pretty young ladies, two blondes and one redhead playing a game of cards in the alcove where the resistance used to meet. The most intriguing thing about them was that, from their opulent dresses, he would assume they were noble's daughters. What were they doing in a place like this?

Upon reaching the bar, his presence stirred Louise from her catnap and she stretched and slinked across the counter to greet him. Link gave her a stroke, prompting a purr of satisfaction from the fluffy feline, who proceeded to rub her face affectionately against his hand. He continued to pet her rather absent-mindedly as he continued to scan the room.

After a couple of minutes Telma slipped back behind the bar, only to ask what, to Link, seemed a rather improper question. "So, Honey, care for some liquid courage before meeting the princess? It's on the house after all."

"Telma, I'm meeting the princess! I can't go there drunk!"

"Suit yourself, but if I know anything, you could use some help." She quirked an eyebrow suggestively.

"What do you mean?"

"Weeeelll, I'm not saying you're as shy as Shad could get at times, honey, but nice guys like you do tend to get tongue tied around pretty young maids or in your case a beautiful princess." The redhead winked.

"Ok, firstly I'd rather speak less and actually know what I'm saying, and second why are you making it sound like I'm simply there to court the princess, It's an official meeting to discuss a possible arrangement."

Telma gasped in shock. "Honey, I admire your boldness but aren't you two moving a little fast there?"

"What" Link was perplexed. Then the rupee dropped, with the weight of a sledgehammer along with his jaw. "Telma, I'm not even courting the princess, let alone thinking of marriage."

"Aw, such a shame, it would be so classically romantic, The Hero and The Princess, just like tales of old and you'd make such a cute couple!" She cooed in a disgustingly saccharine tone.

"Telma!" Snapping in exasperation and embarrassment, he promptly buried his face in his hands.

"Alright, honey, I'll let it be. I can see I've hit a nerve…" Telma briefly feigned some sense of sympathy only to give into the temptation for one last teasing prod. "but you can't deny I'm right, you would make a cute couple."

Link groaned into his palms, then contented himself to mumble through his fingers "What is it with women and romance? It's like a red rag to a bull."

"Well it could be the fairer sexes "weaker" sensibilities oooorrr it could be that unlike you men, us ladies have the innate understanding that it's love that makes the world go round. Something I'm sure you'll discover with the right someone."

Suppressing a cynical remark expressing his great doubt at her final point, he went for pondering his friend's current disposition. The Fiery haired bar owner seemed even more effervescent then ever. It could have simply been due to the fact this was the first time they'd met without the weight of the kingdom on their shoulders, but his gut told him he was missing something. Speaking of his gut, he was starting to get peckish.

"Telma, mind passing me a menu?"

"Sure thing, honey."

It was as he took the menu from her that he noticed it. Telma was wearing a betrothal band! At that point his mind replayed her earlier comment "… plus I think my fiancé would have something to say on the matter." Goddesses, he could be thick sometimes! Well that explained her cheeriness and her obsession with romance.

Unsure how to bring it up, but feeling some sort of felicitations were in order, he went for the simple yet earnest approach. "By the way, congratulations on the engagement."

Telma beamed. "Why, thank you, honey!"

Link waited a few seconds for some more information from his clearly loved up friend, however she was too busy admiring her ring. "Sooo who is it? Anyone I would know?"

"Mhm, pardon, ah no, no one you would know, but I'm sure you two'd get along swimmingly. He has a similar compulsion to help people. I met him shortly after the twilight invasion ended actually. We were both assisting at one of the aid shelters set up in the aftermath. We caught each other's gaze, fireworks happened and he proposed a month later." Link could see the dreamy haze descending over her eyes, and not wishing to be subjected to sappy romantic recollections, made what he thought to be a smart light-hearted gibe at her hypocrisy. "Seriously, you accuse me of moving fast, and yet you get engaged in a month. A certain idiom springs to mind, involving two Cuccos and an egg."

"Oh, so you admit it." She gave him a victorious grin.

"What?" His mind that had been breezing along at a stately canter was suddenly forced into a gallop to catch up with his mouth. "No! How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Well, as I recall, in the FABLE of the two Cuccos, they're both just as guilty of laying in public. The difference is one bares her egg with pride, while the other sits on hers. I've borne mine with pride so which one does that make you?"

Damn! That would teach him about trying to appear witty. "Ok. I got the wrong idiom, fable or… whatever it was, but I'm not courting the princess, honestly! Now, could we please move on to another topic, preferably one that doesn't have you going all gooey eyed again."

"Calm down, Honey, you know I'm just teasing, right? But if that's what you wish then so be it. On my honour I promise I'll never tease you ever again."

"Come on, Telma, no need to be so dramatic, besides since when did bar tenders have a sense of honour?"

"Oh, that wounds me deeply, Link!" She exclaimed, throwing her hand to her forehead and staggering back, feigning light-headedness. With her theatrics over, she gave a hearty chuckle. "I know you love it really. So, what WOULD you like to talk about?"

Eager to steer the conversation as far away from any mention of romance as possible, he decided to dig deeper into the history of the man he'd just agreed to help. "Alf, I'm guessing you've been friends for years?"

"Yep, pretty much since I started at the bar, a family business you know. Almost 20 years ago now. My, how time flies." she shook her head and glance across it the old man, who was busily scrawling on the parchment she'd given him, away in the corner.

"So, what's the deal with his name? He's got a noble sounding name but he sure doesn't speak like a noble. He doesn't have the attitude of one either."

"Ha ha, you'd certainly be right there. Apparently, he came from a respected middle-class family with aspirations of breaking the monopoly of bloodlines on the upper classes. How would they attempt to reach such an impossible dream? Why, by giving their first-born son a pretentious name and trying to teach him noble manners and etiquette. Unfortunately, his struggles with enunciation shut down any hopes they may have had. Don't let his speech fool you though. Dear old Alf's pretty smart, in his own way, and was a capable warrior in his day. Sadly, in the world of nobility, walking the walk ain't worth a rupee if you can't talk it up to the sacred realm, all with perfect diction…"

"… Not that all nobles are snobbish, ignorant and pompous of course" she added "Take the three "T's" for instance…" she gestured with a glance to the three young ladies in the alcove. "just as delightful in personality as in appearance, none too shabby in the brains department and all-round sweethearts… plus…" She leaned in conspiratorially "they're all currently very much single. Like me to introduce you honey?" She gave him another wink.

How had it come back to romance again? "No! What is it with you, Telma? I realise you may have love rather on the brain, what with your engagement, but you have not only tried to encourage me into courting the crown princess of the kingdom, which is plain mad, but are now trying to set me up with one of these ladies."

"Well, the whole princess thing had been a bit of a tease…" Telma's voice suddenly took on an earnest concerned tone, as he imagined a real aunt would take on hearing of a loved but troubled nephew. "The thing is, honey, I heard some news about you from Rusl, nothing specific mind you, but it sounded like you were in a bad spot. I just thought, perhaps, that a bit of romance with a pretty young lady might help you find the right path again."

Link nodded, slightly chagrined at his earlier terse response. "I appreciate your concern Telma, but honestly… I think love is the last thing I need right now."

She didn't seem convinced but, after pondering for several seconds, she never the less decided to let it go. "Ok, honey, just remember if you're in trouble and want someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

"Thanks Telma, now going back to what I wanted to ask, what do you make of Alfonzo's story?"

"What do you mean?" her brows arched slightly.

"Is it all true?"

"I have no reason to doubt it, why?"

"Well it just seems rather extreme to me, the whole "kicking him out for getting too close to her" deal. Are they really that petty?" Part of Link was already lambasting himself for feeling the need to even make such an enquiry, given his experiences with Lord Halshaw.

Telma sighed. "I wish I could say such a tale surprised me, but it doesn't. I regularly get servants from the castle down here and from what they tell me, the arrogance and entitlement of some of the council is the stuff of nightmares. I do not envy the princess for have to put up with them."

"Did he tell you the story before?"

"Only the basics, that he worked in the royal guard and knew the princess to some degree but was discharged under false pretences. He seemed to carry a sense of shame about it and I didn't wish to pry. He'd told me plenty else about the council though."

His earlier suspicions reared their ugly heads again. Had the letter been addressed to anyone else he would have delivered it without questions or doubts of the sender's intentions, assuming them to be inherently good… but because it was the princess… Something stirred inside, something instinctual, something almost feral. A compulsion that almost brought a growl to his throat. A need to ensure Princess's absolute safety. That meant he had to be sure there was no ulterior motive. He also had to be diplomatic about it though. A twinge of guilt twisted Link's stomach at the implied accusation as he was about to make. "Couldn't it be possible the shame is because they had more reason to discharge him than he's telling us?"

"No!" The Landlady's answer was emphatic and it was obvious that any further discussion down that path would lead to offense. He would just have to trust her judgement.

"Sorry, Telma, I didn't mean…"

Telma waved his apology aside, albeit after taking a long weighty breath. "Don't apologise Link, you were simply being cautious for the sake of the princess and you don't know him. I DO and I care about him. I KNOW him and I KNOW that the most likely reason for his shame is that he feels he abandoned her when she needed him, despite the fact he had no choice."

In spite of her dismissal, Link, prone to pangs of conscious as he was, couldn't resist making another apology. "I'm sorry Telma."

She merely gave him a nod and a gentle smile to show she wasn't upset.

With that, the conversation slipped and they assumed a sombre but amicable silence, the Landlady setting about cleaning glasses, the hero surveying the scenery again. Nothing much had changed since the last time he'd looked, and the various discussions and gossip flying around the bar were just as banal as you'd expect. He found himself focusing on the three ladies playing cards. The three T's didn't Telma call them? He wondered why. They were undeniably pretty, two with cascading blonde locks that flowed down past their shoulders, while the third possessed tresses the colour of sunset gathered in an elegant pony tail. They all wore very similar, highly intricate dresses in complimentary colours. they looked to possess many layers and yet that didn't seem to affect the young noblewomen, despite the bar's stuffy atmosphere.

A small part of his brain expressed disappointment that he hadn't let Telma introduce him. That small part would need a stern talking to, he decided, however it soon faded into insignificance when another louder and clearly crazier faction of his mind resolved to compare their beauty to that of the princess. This rogue intelligence promptly concluded that as pretty as these ladies were, they could not compare to the loveliness of Zelda.

It wasn't the conclusion that horrified Link. It was the fact that he'd thought to consider the princess in such a manner to begin with. She was, firstly and most importantly, royalty, but also and almost as important, she was his friend (Hopefully!). Ughh, these thoughts were blatantly Telma's doing!

Link scoured the room for a compelling distraction from notions of women or romance. After a couple of minutes eavesdropping and a few subtle scans of the bar, his gaze fell upon the new door. "So Telma…" Link began, turning back, only to realise she was serving a customer.

"Just a moment, honey… That'll be ten rupees… Thank you… So, Honey, was there something you wanted to ask me?"

"Um yes, what's with the new door?" He enquired, genuinely curious.

The buxom landlady frowned and pointed to a sign above the bar. NO GORONS.

"Wait, are you saying a goron broke the old one?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, barged it clean off it's hinges. Apparently according to him, he wasn't used to the concept of having to pull a door open rather than push it! I think he just wasn't observant and was looking for an excuse to weasel his way out of it. Never-the-less I took none of it and demanded he pay me for the damage. I would have shown him the door as well, had we still had one. Anyway, he begrudgingly covered some of the cost for repairs but that certainly didn't compensate for the loss of business from having to close the bar."

"What brought the Gorons and the Zora to castle town. I would have thought they'd much prefer to stay in their own realms?"

"Apparently, after the twilight invasion, the princess sought to strengthen ties with the other races and as such, agreements were made between them to share resources. It turns out the invasion had left every town or village of every race short on some basic necessities, and these trade arrangements allowed all the races to trade more freely. I think it has ultimately helped the recovery. I just wish it didn't have to come at the expense of my furnishings!"

"Furnishings, as in plural? What else did they wreck?!"

"Two tables and five chairs, a few by accident, the rest in arguments or impromptu wrestling contests and most of them didn't pay for the damage. Hence why my bar now carries a NO GORONS policy."

It was at that moment that Link felt his stomach rumble. He really needed some food. "I was just…" He started, only to be interrupted by Alf shuffling up to the bar, letter in hand, and tapping him on the shoulder. "'ere you are, Sir Link, and I thank you for your kindness in agreein' to take this, that's if you're still willin'. One more thing I ask of you if you take it. Please, don't read it! It's very personal and I wish for only the princess to read it."

He took the letter from the old man's hold and nodded, prompting Alfonzo's eyes to well up with tears. He grasped Links hand yet again and gave it the most vigorous shake yet. "Oh thank you so much, Sir Link, You don't know 'ow much this means to me."

"it's nothing, really, and by the way, it's just Link. I haven't been knighted and I'm no noble." Link spoke bashfully, trying his best to keep his voice from shuddering along with his body.

"No but you're everything a knight should be!" Came the old man's ardently insistent reply, finally letting go and allowing Link's body to re-establish some sense of equilibrium after the localised earthquake his upper torso had just endured. His head may have no longer felt like a tortoise caught in a twister but, awkward as he was with receiving or accepting compliments, he found himself struggling for an adequate response.

Luckily Telma was there to offer a change of subject. "Alf, Care for another round."

"Oh, aye, that would be grand and 'ow about a drink for the hero. It's on me!"

Link's stomach rumbled again. "Um, thanks for the offer but I'd actually like to order some…"

CRASH!

The bar door was flung open so hard it bounced back of the stone wall. In burst a positively outlandish visitor, a royal guard wearing armour that appeared to be a size too big for them. They were clearly above standard military rank based on the ornate but dusty horn slung across their breastplate and the plume of feathers billowing forth from their helmet. their face, however, was hidden by their visor. The only clue to their identity was a few strands of raven hair peeking out from under the brim. The oversized armour rattled and creaked like many iron nails being shaken in a saucepan. The whole bar gawked at this bizarre intruder, frozen in shock.

"So…" Came a husky female voice with a highly recognisable twang. "My journey down here hasn't been entirely wasted after all."

It couldn't be…

"Ashei, what have I told you about barging in like that, and that's a brand-new door!" Telma snapped.

Ashei?!

The human percussion set that was Ashei marched towards Link, ignoring Telma's chastisement.

"Well, Link, you would just have to choose my sparring day to come visit, wouldn't you! Not one of my guard duties when I'm in desperate need of diversions, NO, you have to take me away from the best part my job! Whipping my recruit's arses!" With that she finally lifted her visor to reveal a wry smile.

"Nice to see you too, Ashei."

"Yeah, yeah don't get ya panties in a twist, I am glad to see you, ya know… You too Telma."

"Appreciated Ashei, but what I'd appreciate more is for you to tone down your entrance. My door is not one of your recruits in need of a good drumming."

"I'll try and keep that in mind, Telma, anyway I'm in rather a rush" Ashei scoffed and turned back to Link. "So, are you ready to go."

"Well actually I was hoping…"

"Look, Link, we're technically already behind time so let's get going, yeah. See ya Telma." Without waiting for a response, she swung on her heel and clattered towards the exit, with most of the bars eyes still glued to her. It looked like he had no choice but to follow, so Link set off in pursuit.

Catching up in the small stone courtyard outside, the bar ambience replaced by the cacophony of the busy marketplace reverberating down the steps from above, he couldn't help but point out his surprise at her chosen profession. "I've got to say Ashei, joining the royal guard, not something I could ever see you doing, given your low opinion of Hyrule's army. I seem to recall you saying something about sorry excuses for soldiers."

"You'd be right there, however the princess can be mighty persuasive and as much as I loved Snowpeak and the Yetis, there's one thing I love more. A challenge! And what greater challenge is there than trying to transform those bumbling, ball-less, buffoons into an effective fighting force."

As they took the steps up to the street, they had to raise their voices to be heard over the growing sound of the bustling crowd and the creaking armour, which seemed to be hampering Ashei's ascent.

"Any luck?" Link enquired

"Some, though it will be nice to have some more capable competition around, other than Sir Cocksure, the muscle mountain…"

"hey, I don't even know what the princess has planned for me, let alone whether I'll accept it." He interjected

"Oh, I bet you'll accept it, If the princess could persuade me, she can certainly persuade you. Yeah, I know you can't resist helping people." Her voice was a shrill yell by the time they reached the street.

As they joined the street they came upon a roadblock of marketgoers all clustered around three or four stalls.

"Ah, wait a moment… Let me handle this!" Ashei shouted imperiously and strode up to horde. "Make way, royal business coming through, Make Way, Royal Business, Coming Through… ROYAL BUSINESS, COMING THROUGH!" With her commands going unnoticed the raven haired swordmaiden grit her teeth in frustration. She paced across the street, unwilling to simply enter the melee of the jam. Link was about to take the lead and dive in himself when she caught his arm, the lightning of inspiration flashing in her silvery eyes. "OF COURSE! might as well use it for something" She exclaimed with elation before adding "er, you might want to cover your ears."

Link was initially perplexed, until Ashei reached for the horn slung from her shoulder. Upon close inspection, two inescapable observations sprung to mind. The horn was half way to Ashei's lips when Link blurted "Are you sure it'll even work?" noting just how dirty and ill kept the ornate instrument appeared, with a wrinkle of his nose.

"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't it?" she answered stridently.

"Seriously, look at all that dirt, and I've lived in a tree or on the road most of my life so for me to notice it has to be bad. Where in Hyrule did you keep it?!"

"I know it's dirty!" She snapped, clearly irritated that Link would question her genius. "I couldn't think of much use for it, other than when out hunting, so I kept it in the stable with the horses."

Well that explained things but it still didn't allay his main concern. "Ashei, I don't think this a good idea."

"Nonsense. After all, what's the worst that could happen?" she replied airily.

"Ashei, I really don't think…" he tried again but she would not be dissuaded and was already raising the horn to her lips.

He covered his ears and braced himself, stepping as far away as possible. The instrument, while unkempt, still looked pretty formidable… and as it turns out, it was more than that…

It was devastating!

The horn let rip with the brief but unforgettable sound of a thousand bloated bovines engaging in harmonised wind expulsion. This initial auditory onslaught was accompanied by a bird's nest being fired into the crowd, where, upon impact with an unlucky individual, it exploded, showering all in the immediate vicinity in a cloud of feathers, twigs and mud. The horns magnificent herd, now relieved of their burden, broke into an ear-piercing chorus of mooing.

Pandemonium ensued. Customers ran, dogs howled, glass smashed and produce was sent flying. Within a matter of seconds, the horn had succeeded spectacularly in its' goal of ridding the street of customers, leaving just the smashed remnants of stalls along with their owners, who's looks ranged from shock induced incredulity to rage fuelled insanity. Not even the souvenir stand selling those little "I love Castle Town" mugs emerged unscathed.

There was dead silence.

Ashei lowered the horn slowly, her eyes the size of dinnerplates, seemingly as horrified as everyone else by the catastrophe. After a few seconds surveying the carnage, while the stall owners sharpened the daggers in their eyes, she had just one thing to say…

"That was louder than I expected."


	11. Of Mavericks, Maids and Moustaches

**A.N: Another chapter down, just another fifty or so to go… or at least that's how it feels as my ideas seem to be expanding at an exponential rate. I just hope they can continue to entertain people. That's what really matters.**

**For those of you who might be missing Zelda after two chapters of notable absence, it is with great personal joy that I can announce her return in the next chapter. Anyway as always if you particularly liked it, wish to show support or give constructive feedback please feel free to leave a review. I appreciate it.**

**Chapter 10 – Of Mavericks, Maids and Moustaches**

Link was annoyed… and thirst… and ferociously hungry.

His stomach growled like the wolf he had once been as he hurried over the bridge towards Hyrule Castle,

It had taken, probably, over an hour to patch up the mess Ashei had made with the horn, as he was sure he'd heard two sets of chimes of the new town bells. He would have likely been grumbling all the way to the castle had he not already been given the chance to vent.

Faced with a small army of merchants ready to skin her alive, Ashei had made her best attempt at diplomacy, with less than ideal results. To save his friend, Link nobly stepped into the breach and tried his own brand of negotiating. It may not have been Zelda level eloquence but he'd got his point across, partly by showing the damage was actually far less dramatic than It initially appear and partly by giving Ashei a tongue lashing to empathise with the aggrieved stall owners. The excessively forthright swordmaiden, to her credit, took it on the chin and accepted, not only responsibility for the incident, but the necessity of the hero's scolding to save her hide. With his help to restore the stalls to some semblance of order and by contributing some of the meagre remainder of his wealth gathered from his adventures, he had managed to placate the merchant mob.

With that crisis averted, they now had a new one. They were very late for his meeting with the princess. Would she be angry? Offended? Would she even want to see him? He knew she must be incredibly busy. Would she be able to, even if she did?

He was about to ask Ashei as much when he realised that the distinctive clanging of her armour was too distant for talking. He stopped and turned to see her finally crest the top of the grand steps up from castle town, even as he was halfway across the bridge. She endeavoured to close the gap, now mercifully back on even ground and able to jog.

As she approached, Link couldn't help but enquire as to the purpose of her absurd and impractical get-up, even as he resumed walking. "Ashei, why have you got such extravagant yet oversized armour, couldn't they make one that fits?"

She rattled up beside him slightly out of breath. "This is ceremonial armour. I decided, as I'd use it so little, that I'd just take one already made. It's really not too much bigger than required!"

"Are you serious! Ashei, with that armour on, you sound like an orchestra of kitchenware rolling down death mountain every time you move. How can you claim it's not oversized?!"

The swordmaiden bit her lip. "Weeelll, the thing is… the armour takes really long to put on properly, just as long to take off and I wanted as much time as possible with my sparring, yeah. Sooo when I put it on, to come pick you up, I simply didn't do up all the straps and chains and such."

"Wait, so you're saying the only reason you've been clanging around looking ridiculous and holding us up all this time is because you were too impatient to put it on properly!"

"It's not like if I'd done it properly, it would have looked remotely sensible or imposing. I mean, come on, look at this! Look at all this brightly coloured fabric! And these feathers! Whose bright idea was that?! It makes me feel like some preening peacock, just like most of the knights…" Her protest was ardent but Link couldn't help feeling she was leaving out something.

"So you chose to look like a clown instead?" he interjected drolly.

"Well… no… I mean, I probably would have taken more care to put it on… had I not already been running late…" So the truth comes out! Link rounded on her half way up the steps to the entrance and stood with his arms folded fixing her with a penetrating stare, waiting for the rest. The swordmaiden seemed embarrassed to elaborate but under his gaze she conceded. "I mean, what happened was… I was sparring, yeah and kicking most of the guys arses, when this real tall knight walks up and starts talking all hard. Well I wasn't gonna take it, 'specially not from a snotty noble like him, so I challenged him. I still had 5 minutes after all and I thought "he's probably all talk, probably doesn't even know the blade from the pommel". I was wrong. Turns out he wasn't all talk, unlike most of them, and… HE BEAT ME!" Her sudden aggrieved shriek at her proclaimed defeat sent Link jumping almost as high as her voice did. After that explosion, Ashei quickly collected herself, reasserting her normal husky twang albeit slightly less strident than usual.

"I certainly couldn't quit after that, run off with my tail between my legs. I knew his style now and so I challenged him again and we drew… again… and again… and again and, well, by the time I realised what time it was I was running late."

"Just how late are we talking?" The hero urged with frustration.

The swordmaiden bit her lip again before answering, somewhat hesitantly. "Um, about an hour… roughly."

"Faaannntastic" Link couldn't help but drawl sarcastically.

"Hey, that's an hour late to pick you up, not an hour late for the meeting" Ashei clarified defensively.

"So what time is the meeting supposed to be?"

"About one o'clock… I think."

"Great, so roughly half an hour ago!" moaned Link. "What if I've missed it?! I know she must be very busy. What if…"

In a very rare show of sensitivity, Ashei gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and a smile. "Calm down Link, I can guarantee the princess will have time to see you, even if she has to make time. Come on, let's not keeping her waiting longer yeah."

Link nodded and the pair set off once more, emerging into Hyrule Castle courtyard. It was a place that had been seared into his memory, marking the beginning of the end, the final push. To his amazement he found it changed almost beyond recognition. A wide central pathway Leading to the main castle entrance was flanked by two columns of young berry trees of various varieties, clearly recently planted. Two other paths ran around the edges of the diamond shaped courtyard, hemmed in against the stone walls, by bountiful flowerbeds also newly introduced. Some among them had begun to bloom as spring was finally on its way and the result was a patchwork of green with splashes of colour, along with a riot of fragrances that unlike in town seemed to complement one another. These blooms brought the buzzing of bees and other insects, while various melodies of warblers and thrushes could be heard from the trees that were almost silent in the still air. As the early afternoon sun peeked over a bed of delicate white, it seemed the very picture of serenity, only broken by the clanging of Ashei's armour.

Something strongly compelled him to stop and observe, despite his already much delayed audience with the princess. He couldn't deny the display was beautiful, but that wasn't what made him pause. No, this beautiful garden acted as a stark reminder. A reminder that the rest of Hyrule had seemingly moved on.

This place that, to him, had held a grim finality that consumed everything with grey was now a vibrant haven of tranquillity that would only grow in the coming months and years. Rusl, who had always been more adventurous than he'd care to admit, had moved on from Ordon to the wider world of Hyrule. Ashei, though she may grumble, obviously enjoyed her new position, a change he could have never predicted. Then there was Telma who had cast aside her doomed romantic hopes with Renado only to find herself a, apparently, far better match and was busy racing towards a future together.

That just left him, static, still chained to the shadow of the Twilight Invasion, unable, or more disturbingly, unwilling, to cast them off.

"Link, Link!" Ashei's distant twang broke him from his ponderings. She was far ahead having only just noticed his stillness. "What you doing? Admiring the flowers? You've got a princess waiting for you, that mere moments ago you were panicking over. What are ya thinking?"

Link jogged to catch up with her. "I was not panicking, I was simply frustrated…" Another rumble came to remind him of his hunger, as if he needed it. "and as you asked, I actually stopped because I was thinking of picking some of those berries as, due to a certain clown deciding to wreck the market, I've yet to have anything to eat today. What's more, it's just occurred to me that with all that time we wasted fixing that mess, I could have had a slap-up meal at Telma's bar and still arrived earlier than we are now."

"Oh, quit moaning, you sound like a decrepit nobleman, I've already said I was sorry."

"Yeah I know. I'm just so damned hungry."

"Well, I'm sure you could try asking the princess. Who knows, she may even give you a chance to sample some royal cuisine, eh, now that'd be something special yeah. Anyway, I'm sure you wont waste away before then. Imagine that?! the Hero of twilight, brought low by an empty stomach." She gave a wry chuckle.

"I'm glad my suffering brings you so much amusement, your immeasurable sympathy continues to astonish me." He quipped drolly.

"As does your endless capacity for forgiveness." She shot back, with a roll of her eyes.

They reached the grand entrance flanked by two guards, who simply gave a nod before opening the colossal oak doors, the wood, and indeed the guards, creaking under the exertion. Link however picked up the additional sound of one of the guards sniggering in his helmet, likely at the sight of Ashei's disordered appearance. If she'd picked up on it, she certainly didn't comment on it.

The hall they entered was similarly alien to Link's recollection as the garden had been. He had little chance to marvel at the architecture of this cavernous space though, as a sandy haired maid swished daintily towards them holding her many layered dress, so as not to trip. She seemed a spirited young woman, roughly their age but even shorter, with hazel eyes that carried an irrepressible cheeriness, which was complimented in her beaming smile. Upon reaching them, she gave them a deep curtsey. "Greetings Captain Ashei, and this must be the great hero, Sir Link. my name is Neela, I'm one of Zelda's handmaidens. It's truly an honour to meet you" The maid chirped at the speed of summer lightning.

Not sure how to react Link settled for a slight bow and hiding his hungry irritation behind a smile. It would not do to needlessly upset or offend one of Zelda's handmaidens on arrival. "Indeed I am and, er, it's a pleasure to meet you." He rather clumsily replied.

"Ohhh, Zelda certainly wasn't lying about you being a real gentleman, she speaks so highly of you and I can already see why. Oh and that look and that hat! Just as I pictured it from her description, so dashing and…"

The maids verbal flash flood of flattery was temporarily abated as Ashei, with a impatient sigh, interrupted with a drawl "Neela, do you need me for anything or can I actually get back to doing something useful."

"No… wait… actually yes, the princess said something about needing to speak with you, while Link is being prepared for his audience…"

"Preparation?! Why did he need preparation?! It better not take too long" Link moaned internally. Ashei, meanwhile, turned slightly pale at the news of Zelda's wish to speak with her. "You wouldn't happen, by chance, to know what it is Her royal highness wishes to discuss, yeah?" she inquired apprehensively

"Not really, I just now she was prompted by news from the on-duty guard captain in Castle town. Not to speak out of turn but he's a rather grumpy man at the best of times, not that I see him much, but he seemed particularly mad today."

At this revelation the hero and the swordmaiden exchanged knowing glances. There's only one thing that could possibly be about. Resigned to whatever fate the princess had in store for her, Ashei squared her shoulders as though preparing for battle, gave Link a commiserative pat on the shoulder and wished him good luck to which he responded in kind. With that she clanged away in the direction of what Link could only assume was the Princesses location.

She'd barely set off though, when the spritely maid accosted her with a giggle. "Ashei, you can't seriously be considering meeting her dressed like that?! You look like my little brother trying on father's armour. Anyway, don't you think you should know where to go before you rush off."

"Well I would have thought she'd be in the thro…"

"No, no she's in her private dinning chamber. It is around Lunchtime after all, and its so much easier to talk on a full stomach, at least that's what I think but I'm sure the princess agrees, after all…"

At the mention of lunch, Link couldn't help blurt "Excuse me, might it be possible for ME to have some lunch? I know it may be against…" his gut finished the sentence before his mouth could, with its loudest protest yet, prompting another giggle from Neela and she whirled round and practically sang "My, my Sir Link, that sounds desperate. I hope though it's not too urgent to wait to dine with the princess."

"I'm dining with the princess?!" came his shocked exclamation. Ashei seemed equally surprised as her eyebrows shot up to hidden beneath the brim of her helmet.

"Of course, indeed the princess has held off her meal until you are ready to join her…" Guilt, however misplaced, filled Link's otherwise empty innards at the thought of spoiling the princess's meal due to his unavoidable tardiness. "… which is why we have no time to waste!"

Without even waiting for a reply, she grabbed Link's hand and dashed off towards one of the many branching corridors, dragging the baffled but unresisting hero and leaving the bemused swordmaiden speechless in the centre of the hall.

Just as they were about to disappear he vaguely heard her mumble after him "Have fun, certainly more than I'm gonna have."

Hurtling into a wide stone corridor, similar to the ones he remembered on his last "visit", Link tried to reassert some order on proceedings, tugging on the manic maid just enough to slow her to a more civilised pace. "Where are we going? I would have thought the royal area is in the direction Ashei is heading?" Link inquired, finally retrieving his hand from her grip.

"It is, but we're not going there yet, though the princess would probably prefer it if we did. The thing is, the only way the council would accept a meeting with the princess is if you are "made to be suitable" first, and if I know anything about anything, it's that the council are very picky about being suitable. Not that I think you're unsuitable. In fact I think the princess would agree with me in saying you're very suitable. Hehe" The maid chattered, clearly not slowing down her speech to match their pace, as they strode across familiar red carpets and past equally memorable suits of armour.

Link couldn't help but ponder what she meant by "made to be suitable". If they were thinking of giving him etiquette lessons then they'd have to wait until after the meeting because he wasn't in the mood for a lecture. Manners may maketh man, or however the saying went but if they were intent on teaching it, they weren't going to receive any. Indeed, as much as he may have appreciated his companion's cheeriness under different circumstances, with his current disposition he found it grating on his nerves.

He buried her final comment as just another teasing and unfounded insinuation about him and the princess, worthy of dismissing. After all, he was getting rather used to them today. Instead he simply hoped that that meeting the princess and the royal cuisine was worth the trouble and that whoever would oversee his "preparations" was a little less cheery than Neela.

Upon opening a door to reveal the man in question, Link immediately came to regret that wish. He found himself in a candlelight room, decked in ornate wooden panelling. At the other end stood a decidedly sullen individual. He bore the visage of a man for which even the sweetest of royal delicacies soured as it reached his lips, a man for who the birds never sang… a man for who Malo Mart never had a sale! In short, an individual of such intense dreariness and misery that milk would curdle in his proximity. A pair of round wire rimmed spectacles, reminiscent of those Shad wore, perched precariously on the tip of his nose, held up only by said nose's upward tilt. Link could only guess that it was to give the man an excuse to look down his nose at everyone. He also had a perfectly manicured moustache, just like Lord Halshaw, but unlike that "nobleman", he was skinny as a finely dressed rake.

Then the man spoke prompting a wince. "The gentleman will step forth and be measured." Oh goddesses, that voice! The man possessed an accent so plummy you could pickle it, while his diction was so sharp he could probably dice vegetables just by talking at them. "Wow, he was so hungry even his metaphors were all food related" Link couldn't help noting drolly to himself. Anyway, what did he say? "step forth and be measured" what does that even mean?!

He glanced slightly apprehensively at Neela, who gave him an encouraging nod and mouthed "good luck". If even such a sprightly girl was wishing him luck then he truly must be up the creek without a paddle.

Link stepped over the threshold and the door closed with an ominous thud behind him. The man's disposition combined with the relative gloom of the room that lacked any windows created an oppressive atmosphere. This was only heightened as the high echoing stone vaulting of the Hall and the corridor was replaced by a much lower dull wooden ceiling.

"Ahem, the gentleman will step into the centre of the room for inspection and measurement." The man instructed in a pompous, patronising tone. Link did as he was told, biting back a sarcastic retort to the man's snobbery.

"Stop!" the man bleated as Link reached the desired spot. He then began circling Link and examined him closely, muttering to himself as he did so. Link wasn't sure whether the man was oblivious to the fact he could hear every word or whether the pompous prat simply didn't care. He would bet all his rupees on the latter.

"Tsk tsk tsk, no, no unacceptable. No, wrong shade of green. Hmm clearly not been washed…" The man ran a finger along Link's shoulder as one would a piece of furniture, only to promptly pull out a handkerchief to wipe it. "… and that hat!" Without warning, Link's hat was yanked unceremoniously from his head, prompting him to round on the obnoxious man, though he stayed silent. "So vulgar and… wait… what's this?" The man pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper. Link had to resist panicking. He'd slipped Alfonzo's letter in his hat thinking guards would be less likely to search his hat than his pockets. He needed an answer fast!

"My lucky paper!" Link blurted, without even thinking. Once the words had escaped his lips though, he wished the ground would swallow him whole. Lucky paper! What kind of utterly braindead answer was that?!

The man blinked repeatedly, obviously dumbfounded by the idiocy of his alibi. It would only be seconds now before the paper was opened and its contents discovered. There's no way he would fall for…

"Most bizarre, it must be a tradition of the hoi polloi." The man shook his head incredulously, moustache quivering and then, to Link's utter astonishment, handed him back the now slightly crumpled letter. Wow, sometimes ignorance and conceit can have their upsides!

As the inspection of Link's peasantness resumed, the hero couldn't help but ponder a most important question. Is it the snob that makes the moustache or the moustache that makes the snob?

Finally, seemingly satisfied that he'd seen all that he had to, the man finally completed his orbit and stopped in front of the hero, hands neatly tucked behind his back. He eyed Link, as a sculptor would eye a blemished block of marble he'd been forced to work on, and finally introduced himself.

"I take it your name is Mr Link. I am Basil Dillingus Pontefrack, Court artist and loyal courtier to the royal family and the court for almost 20 YEARS…" At this he puffed out his chest with pride, bringing particular emphasis on his many years of service. Link, meanwhile, was trying to suppress another sarcastic comment ribbing on his name. "It has been part of my MANY IMPORTANT DUTIES during this time to ensure that all guests of the royal family are suitable in matters of presentation and etiquette. This duty can be challenging…" Basil cast another disapproving look at Link's appearance, before continuing "sometimes more challenging than others, however I will let it be known in my 20 years of service I have never meet a guest whom I failed to make, at the very least, de rigueur." His face contorted into a nauseatingly crooked smile.

"You may be the most challenging case I've had to work with in a while but I assure you, I WILL SUCCEED." He clicked his fingers and a servant miraculously appeared from a side door brandishing a long piece of striped string. Link was momentarily baffled until Basil told him to lift his arms.

Are they seriously measuring him for clothes right now? He was starving, he was parched and he was already late to see the princess. The last thing he needed was a bloody makeover! Link grit his teeth as the servant set to work and the pompous artist proceeded to lecture him on the proper etiquette and propriety when engaging with the princess. Link zoned out as the man droned on, only occasionally picking up the odd point of significance here or there, allowing his mind to wander.

Letting his thoughts run free of course led him to what seemed to have become his favourite pastime. Worrying! What would the princess think of him being late? Would she be mad at him? Would she even wish to see him? Would she just give up waiting and have her meal leaving him to starve? His rational side sought to quell his shameful neuroticism, however it was interrupted with an uncomfortable pinch in his armpit.

Link's irritation was growing at a steady pace as annoying tugs were followed provoking prods and pokes accompanied by a symphony of pomposity provided by Basils lecture. He'd began to wonder whether he'd even be sane enough to meet the princess after this ordeal or whether the combined forces of a arrogant ass and his own stomach could accomplish what even the Ganondorf and his armies failed to achieve. He could even feel one of his eyebrows begin to twitch erratically.

Mercifully the measuring was seemingly completed shortly after and the servant scurried off. Link had held onto the vain hope that this might bring these tiresome proceedings to an end and he would actually be able to partake in the very reason for his visit. Alas his hopes were crushed as Basil went on to explain the full extent of his torture.

"As you may be aware Mr Link…" Link bit back an acidic rebuke at being called Mr. It may be inaccurate address but he much preferred "Sir" over "Mr", he fumed. "…as you may have surmised, you have just been measured for a new set of attire, one far more suitable for an audience with the highest in the land and that doesn't smell of so much of..." He gave Link's hat a sniff and shuddered. "… something that moos."

"It smells of goats, not cows, and…" Link snapped, close to breaking point.

"An inconsequential distinction, after all they both moo!" came the courtier's dismissive response. The hero was about to correct his ignorance but the insufferable man had already moved on to his next point. "besides, what matters is that such a smell is not acceptable to a lady of such high esteem and such delicate sensibilities, so new attire is required regardless. We would normally desire to create a unique tailored outfit, however unfortunately that is not possible given our time constraints in this situation. I have however instructed my assistant to scour our extensive collection of raiment in search of appropriate garments for your audience. Given your rather… diminutive stature this could prove difficult but I'm certain we will be able to procure something suitable."

Link bristles at the slight, however he was beginning to suspect that at least some of the man's insults were borne out of snobbery combined with obliviousness, rather than a genuine desire to offend. That idea got him thinking though. He may not be able to win an argument with Basil but he may have a chance to play him, if for no other purpose than his own amusement to make the drudgery more bearable. Who knows. It could save his sanity.

Basil's sermon on style and decorum showed no signs of fatigue as he continued "While the correct outfit is paramount, in your case, given your upbringing there still much that will require adjustment." Another click of his fingers brought forth a trolley laden with an assortment of ostentatious cutlery of varying shapes and sizes. "As you are dining with her royal highness, it is a basic requirement that you know your soup spoon from your desert spoon, your fish Knife from your dinner knife, the correct manner of serving yourself and possibly, although I highly doubt she would request this of someone of your status, her royal highness. To make an error in such basic principles of etiquette would be considered a gross offence to her royal highness. Then, of course, there are matters of…"

As he droned on, Link's ire was overtaken by despondency and noticing a chair close by, he promptly slumped into it. This act sent Basil's eyebrows shooting up to the ceiling and he gave the look of a dog that's just had its bone stolen. "Stand up! A gentleman does not sit until invited to be the host!" he bellowed.

Link begrudgingly rose, grinding his teeth in frustration.

"The gentleman will now be seated." Basil placidly instructed, suddenly completely calm again… and completely oblivious to the red eyed monster before him.

The infuriated hero did as instructed, albeit with great strain as he fought to suppress the growing urge to strangle the pompous pretentious prick with the frilly cravat around the man's obnoxious throat.

Basil, blissfully unaware of his clients growing desire to throttle him, wheeled the trolley closer to the chair. As the trolley drew up in front of him, Link was suddenly aware of a second person approaching from behind and from the sound of it… sharpening a blade of some kind.

Was this a trap? Some kind of assassination attempt?!

He was about to jump up to his feet when Basil, in a rare moment of perception, registered his unease. "Do not concern yourself with Bernard, Mr Link, he will simply be working to subdue that… unfortunate untamed display on top of your head."

"What?!"

"your hair!"

Link glanced behind and glimpsed not a knife but a pair of scissors.

Over my dead body!


	12. Starvation and Temptation

**A.N: This chapter has been the bane of my writing existence, at least so for. I know I tend to waffle on both in story and in life, and my biggest worry is it ruining the pacing. On the other hand I don't wish to leave out stuff that can potentially be used to build world and characters. It's a careful balancing act and I just hope I get it right.**

**As always feedback, whether it be pure unadulterated adulation or constructive criticism, is appreciated, so if you wish to point out that the pacing is slower and shakier than an elephant on an ice rink please do so.**

**Chapter 11 – Starvation and Temptation**

Princess Zelda would probably be relieved that no lives were lost during Bernard and Basil's latest refashioning project.

Link couldn't rightly say the same as he stared in horror at his reflection, so gaudy and flamboyant it made Falbi and Fyer's outfits look almost conservative! Okay that was a little harsh but who wouldn't be prone to over-exaggeration with a look like his.

His classic green hero's tunic had been replaced by what Basil referred to as a slashed doublet, of the deepest red, embroidered with fruit in various shades of orange and yellow. He had to admit the craftsmanship behind it was exceptional, however that didn't make him feel any more comfortable wearing it, particularly with how the sleeves were puffed out just above the elbows. The worst part of the attire though was undoubtable the banana coloured breeches that looked like they'd been inflated by blacksmiths bellows. The final nail in the coffin for Links dignity was the silvery knee-high socks he had to wear.

The beast that had been his hair, once believed to be untameable, had been viciously declawed with scissors, while its wild free spirit received a sentence of death by gel, flattening his once carefree locks in a substance so toxic, its uniquely foul stench could act as a great pest repellent. To counter this obnoxious odour, they had then given him a liberal dousing of cologne that smelt strongly of apples, which combined with his flashy fruit-oriented ensemble left him feeling like a talking fruit bowl on legs.

The total effect of his transformation could have been mistaken as being a carefully crafted concoction of comic genius, had he not had bared witness to its catastrophic coincidental creation and been personally inflicted with the result. Link considered the hair to be the worst crime simply because unlike the other abominations there was no option for immediate correction afterwards. Quite frankly though, he'd have considered the entire look to be the height of hilarity had he not been the unlucky sod cursed to bare it.

Basil, the mastermind behind his metamorphosis from the green of courage to the red of utter embarrassment, seemed completely oblivious to its comic value. Indeed, Link had to wonder whether the man even comprehended the concept. The presumably humourless courtier surveyed Link's reflection from over his shoulder, head cocked to one side as he considered his handiwork, taking on an almost philosophical air as he stroked one perfectly sharpened end of his moustache. "Hmm, not my best work… however I think it is an admirable effort given what I had to work with…" Great, another insult! "…That doublet is a little garish, but when one has to work with off the peg, one is left at the mercy of fate… and fate could have done better." Okay, maybe not.

"Not much could be done with that coiffure but when one lacks the gift of fine facial hair, options are understandably limited and with a mane as uncivilised and vulgar as yours, I could almost understand why you wear that bizarre… hat." Ah, there was the insult he'd been expecting. Link had lost count of the number of times he'd had to suppress a response simply to avoid a diplomatic incident or a bloody massacre. He had, however, succeeded in getting a couple of sly quips in upon the realisation that neither Basil nor Bernard were gifted with particularly sensitive sarcasm detection. That was the one thing that had granted him a chance to save his sanity and with it, his two unsuspecting tormentors lives.

The lead tormentor completed the round off of his last fashion creation, blissfully unacquainted with the irony of his final statement. "It may not be a masterpiece; however, it carries the essence of nobility…" What, apples and pears?! "and it is certain to make a big impression!"

"Oh, there's no doubt about that" Link mumbled drolly, as he continued to gaze at the monstrosity that was his appearance. To think that he would soon be meeting the princess dressed like this. What had she referred to Lord Halshaw as that time? "A certified plum duff" was it?! Well with his current guise he fit that title to a t. He was so altered he wondered whether she'd even recognise him. Would he even want her to recognise him like this?

Basil's crisp consonants sliced through his thoughts and Link turned to face him. "Mr Link, given that your presentation is now of a suitably civilised nature, it is now down to you to demonstrate that you possess an equally civilised manner. Please prove that you have understood the fundamental cornerstone of basic etiquette. I wish to see you genuflect."

"What?"

"Please bow." Basil's curt reply carried the stench of patronising superiority.

Link restrained a roll of the eyes. "Of course the answer was straightforward" he muttered under his breath. Despite the courtier's insufferably pretentious linguistic grandstanding, the hero begrudgingly complied with the command, performing the ostentatious bowing technique as had been demonstrated during his hair's brutal maiming. He quickly discovered it was easier observed than replicated, particularly with his new attire.

"Tsk, tsk, it lacks a modicum of grace and ease, but we have learnt to expect less from those not acquainted with the intricacies of high society."

"Well I'd find it a whole lot easier in a less restrictive outfit." Link mumbled irritably, a little louder than intended.

"If members of the court have performed such motions flawlessly for centuries in far more troublesome accoutrements then it should be no struggle to a gentleman of your physical capabilities. Now if the gentleman has finished his critique on the practicalities of civilised convention, an audience with her royal highness awaits. Please follow me Mr Link." With that Basil spun on his heel and marched to the door.

"Finally!" Link growled along with his stomach, sure to keep his voice low as he followed. They began what, to him in his state of near starvation, seemed like an hour-long trek through the labyrinth of corridors towards the royal wing.

"So, the gentleman remembers how to bow, but does he recall the acceptable terms of address for her royal highness." Basil inquired after barely a minute of silent walking.

"Your highness, your grace or your arch-magnificency." Came Link's flippant reply.

"Ah, I see the gentleman is in the mood for jests. The princess is not of such a favourable disposition."

"Well clearly the barber didn't get that memo." He let the sarcasm drip from his words.

"I was not aware of Bernard saying or doing anything worthy of amusement?!" The courtier responded quizzically picking up the sarcasm even as it's meaning missed his dome entirely as it sailed passed. There was a long pause as the man tweaked his whiskers again trying to decipher Link's supposedly enigmatic comment. After a minutes stewing in his cranium, Basil replied somewhat incredulously. "Mr Link, surely you do not wish to imply that there is anything risible about your coiffure. It is a favoured style in the court, albeit more elegant and sophisticated with a…"

"Psssffff **cough **Haha **cough cough**" The courtier promptly whirled round at a guard that had suffered a sudden and violent attack of "coughing" at the sight of Link passing. He opened his mouth as if to speak, his nose wrinkling in annoyance, almost dislodging his precariously balanced spectacles. No response was forthcoming however and his jaws soon reunited tensely as he turned imperiously and strode off down the corridor, the unhappily vindicated hero trudging along just behind.

They ascended a spiral staircase one floor to more practically identical hallways. The hero had to wonder just how far the Princess's private dining chamber was. Would he have even an ounce of dignity left by the time he got there? Basil, demonstrating infinitely more awareness than he had up to this point, tried rather awkwardly to downplay the situation. "Mr Link, I can assure you that…"

"Hahahaa**achoo** **achoo**!" It was no use. Every second guard they passed contracted the same disease as had afflicted the first they'd come across, some overcome with coughs or sneezes, others seemingly doubled up with severe pain in their chests. Few escaped this epidemic that swept through the corridors with Link's presence. His companion, the one responsible for this whole chain of humiliating events, stalked on at pace, tight lipped and clearly trying to ignore the snorts and wheezes that pursued them.

After another spiral staircase that took them up an additional two floors, they reached an intricately carved door flanked by two guards, who demonstrated far greater self-restraint than their comrades they'd passed earlier. "This gentleman has a scheduled audience with her royal highness." Basil addressed them. They bowed in response before allowing them entrance to what must be the royal wing.

Once the door had closed, leaving just them and another corridor, more finely decorated with various paintings, Basil's voice was as stiff as over-starched pantaloons as he stated in a decidedly miffed tone. "It would seem that the common soldiery possesses such weakness of character that they are thoroughly amused by the most insignificant of idiosyncrasies."

"Amusement is a weakness of character?!"

"No. Finding amusement at such simple trivial things is." Basil corrected haughtily.

"Do you find ANYTHING funny?"

"Of course, why, just the other day I saw a production by our great playwright Bill Stirlance called "The Taming of the Chuu" and I found it most amusing and stimulating!" The courtier protested hotly, evidently wounded by the implication that someone could consider him humourless. "I simply wish to stipulate that finding such hilarity in such a minor fashion misjudgement, the validity of which is debatable, demonstrates nothing more than a lack of discipline and class. A flaw that I can guarantee her royal highness does not possess!"

"Well, as I told you during our little manners masterclass I've already met the princess…"

"Her royal highness" came a curt interjection.

"Her royal highness" Link corrected irritably "Anyway, I've met her and she certainly isn't devoid of humour and definitely didn't leave the impression of being fond of these… formalities. Why not just point me to the correct door?"

Basil gave him a probing stare, still sceptical that he'd had the chance to meet royalty. "Her royal highness appreciates order and values the formalities and traditions that come with her honoured position. Besides it is most unseemly to receive an audience without an introduction from her most trusted courtier." He puffed up his chest again in self-importance. Link just wished he had something in his chest so he could puff it up. Unfortunately, as another rumble reminded him, he was fast approaching terminal starvation.

They stopped in front of a door halfway down the hallway that bore the royal crest. Basil Hesitantly rapped his knuckles against the mahogany and waited. Link felt a momentary pang of nerves until a recognisable dulcet voice drifted back. "You may enter."

The courtier turned and fixed his obstinate steel grey stare on Link "Please wait outside until I have introduced you." He ordered. Realising it was pointless to debate and thinking it wouldn't make the best impression having an argument outside her chamber, the hero simply nodded.

Satisfied, the stuffy stylist swung to face the door, adjusted his cravat, straightened his doublet purposefully and entered. "Ah Basil, I take it my guest has finally arrived" Upon hearing Zelda's tones along with her unique fragrance, uninterrupted by half a foot of wood, Link was struck by a compulsion to ignore his previous order, and his manners, and enter unannounced. He resisted and was luckily rewarded with his cue seconds later. "Indeed, your highness, may I present… Mr Link."

Link strode into the room and participated in "the civilised art of genuflection", as he was sure Basil would refer to it. Not sure how long to hold it he waited for a response. Only when Zelda's voice was not forthcoming did he rise to his feet and witness the princess's expression, at which point it became blatantly obvious as to the reason.

Her appearance was just as immaculate and beautiful as ever, wearing the same dress and jewellery as back in Ordon, but Zelda's expression was one he'd never expect to see on the face of such a calm and collected royal figure.

The princess blinked repeatedly as her eyes flashed. Her lips were forcibly pursed together but twitched and trembled as she fought most valiantly to repress a broad smile. The trembling soon spread to her chin and she brought a gloved hand up to cover her mouth only for her shoulders to start shaking and Link could just pick up the faint giggle bubbling up. There was no doubt about it. The sophisticated, wise royal had been struck down by the same disease that had struck down her guards.

Basil seemed utterly shocked and clueless how to help with such an affliction, but as the poor princess's whole body began to shudder, Link knew there was only one thing left for him do. He had to put her out of her misery. Casting his manners aside, he quipped drolly "let me guess, it's the slick hair or the banana balloon breeches?!"

This line broke the dam that had held back the tide of joyously bubbly giggling and Zelda almost doubled up at the force of the flow. Her eyes welled up with tears and her melodious contagious hysteria threatened to send Link into his own bout of laughter. he managed to restrain it to a chuckle, realising it wouldn't help her recovery or, rather less importantly, Basil's opinion of him.

Eventually the torrent waned to a trickle and with a few calming breaths the princess regained her composure. Dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, she met his gaze, addressed him, voice still squeaky with mirth. "I'm sorry, Sir Link, that was most unbecoming of a princess, please forgive me."

Link was about to say there was no need and he would have had the same reaction but was cut off by a thoroughly bemused courtier. "Your highness, does his outfit really deserve such derision, and why did you call him Sir? I was not informed that he was of noble blood or had received a knighthood!?"

She turned to smile at that affronted courtier. "Please Basil, do not take it so hard. We were not laughing to mock your work in any way. It's simply that, being the avid devotee and expert of courtly fashion trends that you are, you tend to become a slave to popular styles, and prescribe them to guests, occasional when they do not compliment them, and the current craze REALLY does not compliment Sir Link. As to why we address him as Sir, no he is not yet knighted, nor is he noble. He is however the chosen hero of the goddesses, responsible for defeating a great evil and freeing the kingdom from the grip twilight."

Zelda's expression was hard to read as she switched her attention to Link, but he could have sworn he saw a hint of concern in her sapphire orbs as she asked pensively "Why did you not tell him?"

The princess's initial reaction to his absurd outfit had done much to break the ice that her royal status may have put in the way of their meeting but her question brought up another barrier. Link may have let slip to Ilia the fact that the claims and title of hero felt like a deception when it came from his own lips, but he wasn't about to admit such things to Zelda, particularly not with company.

Link didn't meet her questioning gaze, instead rubbing his neck as he answered flatly "I, errr… I don't like to seem boastful."

Zelda's lips parted briefly before pursing again, realising she may have touched a nerve. There was no mistaking the worry in her eyes as he glanced awkwardly back at her. He then watched as for the first time in this encounter he saw the veil slip into place and she turned to her expectant courtier. "We thank you for your service, Basil, could you please go and inform the staff as to start serving, after which we would wish to be left alone with Sir Link until the time that we summon you."

"Of course, Your Highness" the man bowed so deeply, Link half expected the glasses to tumble from his nose. He then turned to the former goatherder, part time hero and now, it seemed, court jester, but rather than a snobbish remark, basil offered a apparently sincere apology, manner completely transformed from pompous to contrite. "I'm dreadfully sorry, Sir Link, my manner of addressing you was not deserving of a man of your stature."

Link was somewhat taken aback by this miraculous switch in attitude from an individual who had given him nothing but grief up until now, but his natural aversion to holding grudges led him to accept it as genuine. Basil was an eccentric after all. He gave a cross between a nod and a bow, and the now seemingly reformed goatherder slanderer departed, closing the door behind him.

What had left him arguably more baffled than Basil's switch was Zelda's strange manner of addressing the eccentric servant. Using "we" instead of "I"? What was that all about?

The princess seemed to demonstrate her magic mind reading skills again, asking placidly "You seem confused Link?"

"err, yeah, why did you refer to yourself as "We" rather than "I" when talking to Basil?"

"Oh, that!" her mind reading powers must have been rusty, as she clearly expected a different question. "Have you ever heard of the royal we?"

"I've heard of it, but I hadn't a clue what it was. I just assumed it was some dirty joke about royal toiletry tradition."

This prompted a chuckle from the princess and the tension built from her earlier inquiry eased once more. "haha, no. The royal we is an ancient formal royal tradition to refer to themselves as "we" rather than "I" when addressing their subjects. It's part of Basil's curious nature that he, and he alone, actually prefers when I address him in such a manner. Then again, he has always had an almost unhealthy obsession with tradition, so it is not so outlandish behaviour. Regardless of his foibles, which are many, I count him among the most loyal members of my court, one of the very few I could trust to never be bought out by the council."

"Really!" Link blurted incredulously "To me, he seemed a pompous, humourless ass." His thoughtless comment, prompted a wince as soon as his hunger addled brain caught up with his mouth.

Instead of a rebuke, he earned himself another chuckle and the princess nodded. "Yes, he can be many irritating things to many people, including me, but he is never-the-less loyal and much valued ally in a court contaminated by lies, betrayals and backstabbing's aplenty."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Well you've already had a taste of it with Lord Halshaw, but let's not bring our reunion dinner down with such sour topics. Let us be seated for the bountiful feast that awaits us as, from the sound of your stomach, you really need it."

As Zelda directed him to a large ovate shaped dinning table, Link finally got a chance to observer his surrounds properly. The room was comfortably large, the stone walls on three sides bedecked with brightly coloured tapestries each depicting scenes related to food or food production: Seeding, harvesting, hunting and cooking. The far wall beyond the table was dominated by a large stained-glass window displaying the royal crest in gold, that resulted in the whole room being bathed a soft yellow.

It was only as he approached the table and took in the military rows of assorted silver cutlery that filled ever space between delicate porcelain plates, that Link came to the realisation that, not only had he completely forgotten his earlier crash course in cutlery identification, but he hadn't dined with others for at least three years. He probably had a few bad habits he'd have to try and control.

Then there was the seating arrangement and all the etiquette matters that came with it to concern himself with. There were six chairs around the table, all seemingly identical in their ornate elegance. There was no throne-like seat that screamed "this bergere belongs to the Princess of Hyrule". Did they just pick one on a whim? How close should he sit to Zelda? Should he sit across from her or to the side?

He also vaguely recalled hearing somewhere that a gentleman should always pull out a chair for a lady… or was that only when he was courting her? Damn it, he couldn't remember! His empty stomach sank, weighed down with the sudden regret that he hadn't paid more attention to Basil's brain numbing lectures. It wasn't that he cared for the protocol or customs of the noble class but he did feel compelled to put his best foot forward to impress the princess, or at least to avoid looking like an uncouth idiot.

He decided action was the lesser risk of insult to her highness than leaving her to seat herself. Besides as he thought about it, it just seemed like a nice gesture of respect to Zelda. It just felt right somehow.

As Zelda approached the table to sit, Link slid past and pulled out the chair he thought she was heading for. This earned him a puzzled look from the princess as her eyes darted from the chair to Link and back again. He was beginning to think he'd made a mistake when suddenly he saw the corners of her lips creep upwards and he couldn't be certain but he was sure her cheeks were a shade pinker than they were a second ago.

She gave him a nod and lowered herself gracefully into the chair, her gloved hands tucked daintily into her lap and he pushed her in towards the table cautiously, careful not to tip the princess out. Task complete, and doing his best to suppress a blush of his own, Link slipped round to the opposite side of the table. If there was one thing Basil had hammered in, it was to maintain a respectable distance and of course, the absolute rule…NO DIRECT CONTACT! Plus, they'd be directly facing each other this way, which was probably the most civilised way of conversing.

Zelda clearly disagreed as she frowned at him across the sea of silverware, so shiny you really could see your face in it. It was as he made to sit down that she voiced her disapproval at his choice of position. "What are you doing all the way over there?!" she chided gently, cocking her head to one side.

"keeping a respectable distance."

"Nonsense" the princess dismissed airily "I did not invite you here to converse as though you were some distant foreign dignitary, here only for some trade negotiation. We are friends, are we not? Come, sit with me!" She patted the chair next to her, adding coyly "although judging by your rather forward move back there a lady is made to wonder as to your intentions."

"My intentions, your highness?" Link asked, although he had a suspicion he knew what was coming, a suspicion that furthered his faces rapid transformation towards a tomato with a toupee.

"Zelda, please, just Zelda or Princess when we're in private" came Zelda's clear evasion of his question, her eyes twinkling.

"Zelda, what intentions?" he pushed

"Much better, thank you" the princess toyed with him before finally elaborating "As to the intention I speak of. Why your intention to propose marriage of course!"

Marriage proposal! That escalated quickly. He thought, at most it was a simple gentlemanly gesture of respect, at most a gesture used in courting, not a proposal of marriage! He was brought out of his shocked state at the sound of a fresh bout of giggling from the princess.

"My, my, hero, the look on your face" she chimed, voice ringing with mirth "and with that outfit and hair, why you could be my court jester…" Link glanced away, trying to subdue his embarrassment. "Were you aware, Link, that pulling out a chair for a lady is a courtship gesture."

"errr, vaguely, I wasn't sure if it was just for courtship only or whether it was a more… general way to show respect."

Zelda shook her head. "No… well at least, not among those who consider each other of equal status. Some nobles may expect their servants to pull out a chair for them but I do not consider that the same thing. Among those of equal status a gentleman pulling out a chair for a lady is considered a either a proclamation of intent to court said lady or if already courting her, THEN it is a gesture of affection or respect…"

"But we aren't equal, princess, besides you said intention to court, not marry!"

Link's ardent interjection brought a frown to the young royal "We may not be equal in shallow theatre of societal class, but in all the important aspects; heart, honour, strength, skill and a willingness to stand up for what's right, I consider us equals. Don't forget that, Link."

There was a moments silence as they simply locked eyes with each other across the expanse of fine cloth and tableware. As his ice blue orbs met with her warm earnest sapphire gaze, Link almost felt the distance between them shrink, both literally and figuratively. He had, of course heard the princess speak highly of him previously however for her to say, in no uncertain terms, that she considered them equals set a rather substantial precedent. One that, while he admired the sentiment of and was immensely flattered by, he couldn't bring himself to agree with. Perhaps one day…

Zelda brought him back to reality as she patted the chair next to her and stated regally "you still haven't moved Link" before adding in mock warning "I hope your stubbornness doesn't require me to command you do so on threat of punishment. Do not make me deny you dessert!"

"Well, excuuuuuse me princess!" he drawled in equally false childish petulance as he rose strode back round to sit is his royally designated position next to her.

There was another, more restrained, giggle from Zelda and link could see the veil slipping back on as he sat down next to her. She seemed to be composing herself to say something so he waited "There we are, now shall we get…"

Link's attention was stolen from her words by the unannounced opening of a side door and his keen sense of smell detected such delicious aromas, it took all his fortitude and self-control not to drool all over his fancy knifes and forks. If he'd had a tail, it would have been wagging. What approached was nothing less than divine salvation from his starvation.

"Ah, I see our feast has arrived." The princess noted wryly, observing with amusement, the look of rapturous anticipation on the face of the chosen hero as a caravan of servants brought and deposited their silver platters of delectable morsels in front of them.

Link was beginning to feel overwhelmed as more and more delicacies, some known, some alien, flooded through that magical gateway that must have led up to the sacred realm of food in the sky. He counted pork, beef and what he assumed to be pheasant, accompanied by various glazes, sauces and gravies along with potatoes cooked in a multitude of ways and a myriad of vegetables, covering pretty much every colour of the rainbow. As the final dish of what looked and smelled suspiciously like cauliflower dipped in cheese concealed the last free patch of table cloth not covered by plates, cutlery or food platters, he came to one inescapable conclusion.

Even with my appetite, there's no way just two people could defeat this gourmet display! Anticipation turned to trepidation as he scanned the culinary mountain range, suddenly aware of the summit he had to scale. He had to admit, being intimidated by a plate of food was a new experience but, as he gazed out as his task, he felt he had better odds of defeating Ganondorf in a duel, armed with nothing but the serving spoon he was clutching, than finishing off the gargantuan mass of gluttony that lay before him. There was no doubt, however which of those tasks would be the more enjoyable.

He finally turned his attention back to the princess, who, he only just realised, he'd completely ignored since the first dish's arrival. Zelda was just finishing a conversation with one of the serving maids who asked "would you wish us to serve your food your highness?" to which the young royal replied graciously "thank you, I do believe that would best."

"Sir?" Came a deep man's voice from behind Link "If I may take your plate, I could serve your food as well."

"Err, thanks" replied Link hesitantly, wholly unused to being waited on. "I know this may seem like a stupid question but err… would you mind tell me what some of those are?" he gestured to the feast.

"Of course sir, there's…" The servant promptly launched into a menu so long the start had faded from Link's memory by the time it drew to it's end. Deciding he would take many courses rather than overload his plate, he went with a pork roast, potatoes and a medley of vegetables to start with. It appeared that Zelda had a similar idea and with remarkable speed the food was plated and back with them. At long last the growling wolf in his belly would receive it's fill.

"Will that be all sir?"

"Err, yeah… thanks." Came Link's "unconventional" dismissal but if the man was upset by it he didn't show it, bowing respectfully and joining the caravan now exiting back to their mystical realm of gastronomic delights.

Having waited hours and now having such a delicious dinner laid out before him, it took all his willpower not to simply dig into his plate with all the gusto of a Goron at a "rock and roll" wrestling convention. What stayed his hands, flanking his meal, Knife and fork gripped as he would a sword and shield, was the princess who was still dismissing her maid with far more eloquence and dignity than he could ever possess.

As the maid gave her curtsey and hurried off to catch up with the last of her fellow servants, slipping silently away like ghosts into the night, Zelda seemed to pick up Link's intense gaze as he sat like a coiled spring impatiently waiting for to be sprung. Apart from the faintest twitch of the lips and a quirked eyebrow, she showed no signs of being moved to grant him the salvation of his waiting plate of deliciousness. Instead she proceeded to lay out a serviette in such a proper and princessly manner that the frustrated hero half expected to hear a royal fanfare.

Link waited on tenterhooks as she then, at an equally sedate pace, picked up her own cutlery, with a dainty touch that couldn't be more opposite to his vice like grasp. It was then that he noticed that despite them having chosen essentially the same ingredients, she had different silverware.

He'd been so hungry that he hadn't even thought about that! Had he chosen the wrong fork? The wrong knife? His hands fell from their attack positions as he stared at his collection of ornate implements in confusion. He was saved from his dilemma by the princess's calming tones "Please do not concern yourself with such things Link, do not stand on ceremony for me. Just enjoy your meal."

His eyes shot up to see the ghost of a smile playing on her lips and she gave a nod. The chains were released and the starving wolf that lurked inside him was unleashed to wreak havoc on the feast on his plate. He hacked away at the substantial cuts of tender pork, before skewering a hefty chunk, dipping in sauce, ramming some vegetables onto the last available space on the fork and stuffing the lot haphazardly into his mouth. "Hmm" He couldn't suppress a slight moan at the taste. It was even more delicious than it had smelled!

"I trust that the food is satisfactory?"

"Hmm" he was about to give a more comprehensible answer through the mouthful of meat when he remembers his manners. Once he was free of the obstruction, having savoured it's flavour long enough, he replied somewhat absent-mindedly "more than satisfactory, princess, indeed had I known the food was this good I would have come for an audience with you sooner"

"Hmhm, If only audiences worked that way." She chuckled but it rang undeniably hollow.

After a few more savage slices and delectable but hasty bites, where he set upon his meal with all the control and precision of a raging beast, Link couldn't help but notice just how polar opposite he and his royal host were. He clawed and cleaved his once refined dish into ragged ribbons, like a rabid dog, rushing as though some disaster would appear any moment and snatch away his chance at sustenance. She patiently and carefully carved off perfectly uniform pieces with the most delicate of touches, scooped up condiments with the meticulousness of an alchemist and slid the resulting delicacy into her mouth in a leisurely and refined way, only a royal princess could pull off.

There she was, the picture of civility, propriety and grace and here he was, the personification of the spirit of wild, untamed, uneducated animal instinct. This observation served to bring into stark contrast the worlds they occupied and crystalized his doubts about her claim of them being equals.

With those thoughts, he surveyed his surroundings once more, prompting another realisation. His concern over having to eat the entire tables worth of food was borne of his upbringing where he had little and where nothing could go to waste. He had just stepped into a world where all was plentiful and waste could be both afforded and, in some ways, beneficial, although Lord Halshaw clearly hadn't grasped that concept.

"Zelda, what will happen to the leftovers?" he asked, fearing that much of these delectable dishes would simply be dumped.

"It depends on how much there is. Generally, when I dine with the council very little is left, in which case any unspoilt food left is given to the serving staff as an extra treat to their own meals. When there is more, some of it is actually gifted to a local orphanage for their evening meals. You may know the place as, word around town has it that a mysterious man, clad in green, donated most generously to it following the twilight invasion, but insisted on remaining anonymous. You wouldn't happen to know his identity, would you Link?"

"I'm afraid not princess" came his evasive response as he developed a sudden fascination with a precariously placed potato.

"Such a shame, as I would very much like to thank him for such a show of compassion and selflessness to those less fortunate among my subjects. Well if you should ever meet him please inform him of my grateful appreciation for his noble actions and that he should consider himself a hero and model citizen."

Link tried to suppress his bashful smile. An abrupt gasp of horror from the princess brought his gaze back to her, wondering if he'd done something reprehensible.

"Link, you haven't got any wine! What sort of hostess would I be, were I to neglect to offer my guests some quality libation!"

It felt distinctly odd hearing the princess refer to herself as a mere hostess, but even more so when he found her waiting on him. "Would you prefer a red or a white?" she enquired expectantly.

"Err… I don't know as I've never actually had wine before." He confessed awkwardly

"Oh" that news delivered a momentary shock to the princess but she quickly regained her composure "Of course, wine is rare and expansive outside of court. I apologise…" she paused as if considering whether to elaborate. Yet another spotlight was cast on their vastly different backgrounds and offering further explanation would only stretch the distance between them, an outcome Zelda clearly wished to avoid. "May I recommend a white as they tend to compliment pork better."

"Okay" he mumbled uncertainly. Link wasn't a huge fan of alcohol as not only had he not yet succeeded in finding a beverage that he actually liked, rather than tolerated, the taste of, but he was also something of a light weight when it came to maintaining sobriety. As he watched his glass being filled he prayed the alcohol wouldn't lead to more humiliation.

With his glass filled, she went to raise her own and while only vaguely aware of the custom of toasting Link followed suit. No words were spoken as she simply brought her glass to his with a clink. She then closed her eyes and link guessed she must have been saying a silent prayer or blessing as she rested her other gloved hand on the necklace of the goddesses, that he knew all too well from their prior meeting. Prayer complete, she guided the glass to her lips and for a second seemed to simply take in the aroma before taking just the briefest sip. Link hesitantly copied, sniffing curiously at the yellowy liquid. Upon sampling it, he was left in the highly unusual position of being wholly unable to tell whether he liked it or loathed it. The sensation baffled him.

"So, how do you like your Channomy Aud?" she asked inquisitively.

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure."

"try it with your pork, that may enlighten you. Oh and Link, this food is to savour, not scruff down as though catastrophe is around the corner. The dish will not run away if you're not fast enough."

"I'll try to keep that in mind." The next few minutes passed wordless with just the clatter of cutlery on porcelain breaking the silence as they both feasted, the thoroughly out of place hero struggling to restrain his pace as the princess occasional glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

He soon came to suspect that it was actually his comical appearance that was drawing her attention, particularly when he noticed the tell-tale twitch of amusement that subtly cracked her princess veil. Suddenly he was struck by the light of inspiration.

"Princess, would you be able to cast an illusion spell on me?"

Zelda was perplexed. "Whatever for?"

"To give me my own look back, so that my appearance doesn't inspire laughter wherever I go."

"And hide all the work that went into your current presentation?! Basil would be most upset!" Zelda said with mock incredulity before turning more serious. "Besides I'm afraid that is quite impossible, as I have not mastered that level of illusion spell on myself, let alone the additional complexities of casting such a spell on you."

"But you performed one in Ordon!"

"Two in Ordon actually; one concealing the grass stains from my dress and the other was the illusionary necklace I created, to replace the one you broke. Both were on myself and neither was large scale, such as changing my whole appearance."

"Okay… but surely you could fix my hair."

"No" the princess's tone was calm but firm "an illusion spell is powerful and if used incorrectly, highly dangerous. I have never tried casting it on another and do not have the knowledge to do so safely. Such magic cast at your head could potentially leave you deformed, render you blind, take your voice or wipe your mind. The only spell that I would cast on anyone other than myself, let alone you, is a healing spell."

Despite Zelda showing no signs of upset Link couldn't help but apologise again. "I'm sorry"

"Please Link, do not be. You were not to know. I simply do not wish to see you hurt in any way in some misguided attempt to correct a trivial problem." She sighed and very deliberately shifted topic, clearly not wishing to continue that line of thought. "Now, has the pork changed your mind regarding the Channomy Aud or would you prefer to try I different one, perhaps a red?"

"I think I'm warming to it a bit, although I doubt wine will ever really be my kind of thing."

"Well, if you are sure you do not wish to try another… then perhaps you could tell me what you did on your travels after twilight."

From then onwards they settled into a comfortable arrangement of "I'll tell you my story, if you tell me yours" sharing tales and small talk of their lives since going their separate ways those months back, while the other listened and took leisurely bites. Link started off rather closed off to such subjects, but the princess found ways of coaxing him to open up and soon he actually found himself enjoying it. It was uncanny how well she could read him, almost as though they'd known each other for years. When he thought about it though, he shouldn't have been surprised. She was the barer of the tri-force of wisdom after all, as well as coming from a world were deciphering people and their motivations was likely a necessity to survival. Then again there was always his magic mind-reading theory.

Link wasn't the best storyteller but after some cajoling from her royal highness he soon found his forte and was rewarded with the occasional break in her veil from a giggle or a broader smile. Zelda meanwhile, had lost none of her raconteurial skill and was able to make even the most mundane of royal duties riveting. There were a number of subjects which each of them had marked as "not to be touched" and fortunately neither stumbled upon them, intentionally or by accident. Everything seemed to be going splendidly. The conversation flowed and, for a while, time slipped from Link's mind as he sampled food and discussion in gluttonous excess.

It was just as Zelda finished an entertaining but never-the-less trivial tale of court intrigue that he began to get the unshakable feeling that there was more going on than he was aware of. They'd nearly reached the meals end and they'd still yet to discuss the very reason the princess had apparently invited him for. The conversation drifted into more mundane and frivolous topics, yet the princess showed no signs of addressing the very purpose of their meeting. Why?

As he cleared the very last scrap of visible residue from his plate, leaving it almost as clean as when he found it, Link decided he'd have to bring it up himself. "Princess, not to be rude… as I've greatly enjoyed our talk but… wasn't there some arrangement that you wished to discuss with me?"

"Ah… yes…" the princess faltered and Link couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt as, despite her best efforts to hide it, disappointment and uncertainty flashed briefly across her features, which had just moments previously been blessed with a subtle yet joyous smile. Zelda, for the first time since they'd met, seemed to be legitimately struggling for the right words. Silence hung between them as she fiddled with her necklace nervously. What could possibly cause her to be like this?

"Well…" she began hesitantly "Link, do you remember our discussion that night in Ordon?"

"How could I not, your words made quite an impression." Link quipped trying to alleviate her nerves.

Zelda responded with weak grin which faded quickly. "I'm glad to hear it. The thing is… I wasn't entirely truthful when you asked my purpose for being there. What I said was all true but I omitted something… a matter that I later eluded to in my battle with Lord Halshaw."

"You mean me getting a knighthood?"

"Well, that part was actually just to rile him up and make him snap." The princess dismissed nonchalantly, starting to recover her confidence. "Believe me Link, I would have loved to give you the recognition you deserve by knighting you and giving you a title, but sadly that ship has sailed… at least for now. No, what I was referring to, that I wished and still very much hope, is the possibility that you would take up a position, here at the castle, as part of my royal guard."

Link had suspected such a deal and yet actually hearing it still took him by surprise. It would be a huge change, committing to an entirely new way of life. How would he handle it? What about all these manners and etiquette? Would he fit in? Could he fit in? Did he even want to fit in? All these questions exploded in his head.

Sensing his hesitation, Zelda clearly took his silence as a flat-out rejection and her confidence was once again cut down as she proceeded to babble a hasty apology, words tumbling out like a waterfall. "Of course, I'd perfectly understand if you weren't interested. I know that you value your freedom greatly and I would not wish to tie you down to a life that is not of your choosing. I realise that such a rigid life in such a crowded place most likely appears a horrifying prospect to…"

"Zelda. I haven't said no yet…" Link pointed out in his best reassuring tone. "It's just a lot to think about."

"Oh… sorry…" relief crept cautiously on to her features "It's just that… ever since I thought of asking you… I expected you to reject it out of hand. That is why I was hesitant and why I neglected to bring it up in Ordon. Please do not feel pressured into it on my account. I simply ask that you give it serious consideration."

"I promise I will. it's hard though when I don't know anything about it."

"Oh yes, well I can answer any questions or queries you may have over dessert."

"Dessert?!"

"Of course, the most important part of any meal." Zelda answered, beaming with joy, drowning her shadows of nerves and doubts. The hero, meanwhile, was overtaken by an almost foreign sensation of warmth and lightness, basking in her incandescence, however short-lived it was, before her composure reigned it in once more. He found himself unable to repress a stupidly broad grin as he gazed back at her.

That the usually self-possessed and poised princess showed such trepidation at the prospect of him not accepting her offer, served as proof to Link of the high esteem that she held him in. While he had tried his best to take her words of praise to heart, his demons did their best to remind him of the existence of exaggeration and lies. Actions like he'd just witnessed though, they were far harder for his negative voices to disregard. Pride and hope were in the saddle for once and if anything, he would have said they'd gotten drunk on victory as a whisper drifted to his minds ear. "there you are. you've been looking for purpose, justification, worth! The princess obviously WANTS you at the castle. It should be a done deal. After all you can't get a more noble calling than aiding the wise and compassionate princess of the kingdom." Hope was abruptly interrupted mid flow as another unwelcome voice joined the mental debate… but not the one he dreaded rising from the depths. No, it was the crazed rebel cell that had brought his thoughts into disrepute back at Telma's bar. "you forgot beautiful from that list." Not you again!

"Link, is everything alright?" Came Zelda's sudden concerned tones to his right, prompting the startled hero to almost throw himself from his seat as he whirled round to meet her gaze which held him briefly spellbound. "Her eyes really are a lovely shade of blue." The rebel voice added fondly. Will you shut up!

"Fine, fine, I'm perfectly fine… Why do you ask?" He blurted once he'd recovered sufficiently to string a sentence together without sounding like a linguistically challenged auctioneer.

"You were glaring most intensely at your plate"

"Well err… I was just trying to imagine the possible desserts your marvellous chefs have rustled up."

The princess raised an eyebrow "And that made you glare as though you were attempting to set fire to it."

"Hey, It's hard for a man with limited imagination! I was simply concentrating."

Zelda tweaked her bottom lip as she regarded him suspiciously. She examined him closely and Link could swear he felt her magically probing his brain for secrets. The seconds drifted by under her penetrating stare, until, seemingly coming away from her silent interrogation empty handed, her countenance softened.

"Very well. So, do you have any particular queries regarding your position or would you prefer I cover the essential elements of the role first?"

"Aren't you going to signal the servants for dessert?"

"Already done. While you were participating in your staring match I rang this bell." Zelda lifted a small unassuming looking bell that sat on table next to her.

"How in the world would they hear that. Heck even I didn't hear it and I'm right next to you!"

"That's because it's magic. It connects to a larger functional bell in the kitchens."

It may have been a perfectly reasonable explanation but something smelt fishy and it was the approaching desserts. "If that's the case then why did you order basil to go and inform the kitchen in person rather than use the bell for ordering the main course?"

"Because as loyal as he is, Basil can still succumb to the temptation of eavesdropping, although in his case it's purely for his own curiosity. I simply sent him as far from any such temptation as possible. He may not spread gossip but he would be liable to try and lecture me on etiquette too, if he found out my appalling lack of propriety in your presence."

Speaking of temptation! The sacred food portal opened once more and the smells of the most divine confections, tarts, cakes and pastries drifted through, encouraging a fresh bout of salivating from the already well stuffed hero. The desserts, when they at last emerged, were marvels to behold and Link found himself desperately wishing that he hadn't wasted space in his stomach on a second helping of meat. By his estimations he only had room to sample two, perhaps three desserts at most, but perhaps if he waited…

The caravan of servants reappeared and like a whirlwind swept away the dishes and plates and replaced them with new gastronomic delights. As the last servant slipped away again and the portal closed once more he decided to give his plan a try. "Princess, do you mind if we hold off on the desserts for a little while, and you can give me some details on the royal guard thing."

"I see no harm in it, provided you can actually pay attention with all these confections and sweet temptations to tantalize you." Zelda was teasing again, the trace of a wry smile playing on her lips as she finished.

"I think I can manage. For small talk it would be doubtful, but for information on a decision that could alter the entire course of my life… I think I can do it." Link responded drolly.

"Very well then…" With that the princess launched into the duties, responsibilities and perks of his unique royal guard position that, even with her mastery of language, she couldn't sugar coat it. As she listed off the regular tasks that would proliferate most of his days, Link began to have major reservations. The most shocking revelation, to him at least, was that he would start off as a legate, which meant after some limited training he would actually be required to command his own regiment. What was Zelda thinking?! He had all the command potential of a bum in a brewery!

He would get some unique perks though, as reward for his prior exploits, and apparently if by some miracle he did perform well enough to be promoted to captain or even a knight, he would have the opportunity to meet the princess on a semi-regular basis. That was most definitely a plus! This would certainly require some careful consideration.

"Of course, such promotions would require you to undertake new responsibilities, such as escorting guests and dignitaries to the castle, as Ashei demonstrated so… uniquely this morning. I'd trust that were you in her position, you could have accomplished the task without the property damage and the public disturbance, although to be fair I have observed how crowded it can get on market day." Zelda's tone was almost wistful as she glanced out the window, from which the far-off peak of death mountain could just be seen through the gold stained glass of the royal crest.

After a moment of almost sombre introspection, she slipped back into serene princess mode. "Now I think we had better start on dessert, lest we find ourselves still here at sunset, which would be most improper."

Link followed her glance out of the window and was immediately aware that her words, while said in jest were in danger of coming true if they continued at such a languid pace. From the light outside he would have guessed it to be mid-afternoon, between four or five o'clock. That would mean they'd been talking for two to three hours! He'd never held a conversation that long with anyone! He considered himself to possess all the social abilities of an emotionally constipated accountant and had, in recent months, developed the temperament of a Goron suffering from piles. Yet on this exceptionally strange and eventful day, his newly characteristic ire never broke it's chains and he had to admit that these few hours dining with the princess had been the most pleasant he'd experienced since the start of his adventures.

Having come to terms with the bizarre contradiction that his most pleasurable experience in recent memory came from his least proficient or enjoyable pastime, Link returned to reality to survey his choices of delectable delicacies. Scanning through the plethora of delicious cakes, confections and pastries his eyes were drawn like a magnet to a solitary sweet that made up for, in smell and flavour, what it lacked in size.

Chocolate! Chocolate was almost as rare as wine in Ordon and he'd only had the chance to taste it once but it had left a considerable impression. The object of his current infatuation looked like chocolate tart with something else mixed in. Was it… Mmmm raspberry. Well I'll take…

"Ah, ah, ah what do you think you are doing Link? That is mine." Zelda snapped, as if addressing a mischievous child, before snatching the miniature masterpiece of chocolate paradise away.

"Hey, you're the princess. You can probably have it anytime you want."

"Au contraire, the council often denies me such treats on account that it may make me "unpalatable for suitors" and insist that I stick to lighter desserts. Not that those lighter delicacies are objectionable in any way, but every lady deserves the occasional indulgence..." She then fixed him with her most innocent, doe eyed expression. "You wouldn't deny me this one small pleasure, would you?!" she simpered.

Damn it! He couldn't win against that. "No" he mumbled begrudgingly, slumping back in his chair and resuming his search for something delicious. It was in the middle of serving up a strawberry cheesecake that his focus was stolen by a moan from next to him that, out of context, sounded almost indecent. He turned to witness the princess having… well he wasn't quite sure what she was having, other than chocolate and raspberry tart, but he was sure it wasn't something you had at the dinner table. Whatever it was he found himself temporarily mesmerised by it and time seemed to slow down as he watched.

The princess, in a moment of madness, had dispensed with her cutlery and now held the tart in dainty white gloved fingers while her face beheld a look of pure bliss, eyes closed, delicate lashes fluttering. Link sat transfixed as his gaze fell upon a drop of dark chocolate mousse on her soft pink lips. He followed it as it slid from her bottom lip onto her ivory skin leaving a faint trail briefly, before it was suddenly caught by her tongue, wiping all trace of it's existence. "Mmmmm… diviiiine"

Link felt… strange.

At that moment the spell was broken, as the entranced hero accidently brought his arm down right on the handle of his spoon, resting over the edge of his dessert bowl, sending the silver implement and it's cheesecakey contents sailing up towards the ceiling. He watched in horror as the plaster gained some new decoration before being forced to duck as the wayward spoon narrowly missed his head as it fell, bouncing off his back and finally coming to rest in the nook between the back of the chair and the seat.

A splutter followed by a howl of laughter rent the air as the princess awakened from her "sacred" experience, only to almost spit out the mouthful of tart she'd been savouring. Link, meanwhile bore the face of a man who had just lost all the villages underwear in a freak washing accident. Once recovered, Zelda couldn't resist a quip "Honestly Link, did you come here to audition to be my court jester, because I haven't been so thorough entertained in years."

"That was not my intention." He mumbled trying to extinguish the burning in his cheeks with the cool sweet taste of strawberry cheese cake.

After a few more much savoured mouthfuls, the princess asked "So, do you have any particular questions about the royal guard position?"

He thought long and hard, a spoonful of cheesecake half way to his lips. "No, at least… not directly connected to that."

She cocked her head, intrigued. "Please, feel free to inquire of me what you wish."

"Well, is it standard practice for you to instruct all you guests to wait at Telma's bar? Hope they all get drunk? Make negotiations easier?"

She responded with a chuckle. "Generally, my guests need no assistance in getting sozzled, without the need to go to a bar. I would say though, that Telma's bar isn't the standard waiting area for those seeking an audience with me. Most nobles wouldn't set foot in there for the hoi polloi and it would set a bad impression for some foreign dignitaries, while the others would never make it to the castle. You are actually one of the few guests I've had who has done me the honour of remaining sober. I hope it's not because you found the wine so disagreeable?"

"No, I just think it must be an acquired taste and I don't know whether I'll have enough chances to acquire it. Besides I've never been big on drinking."

"Have you arrived at a decision yet regarding my offer?" Zelda asked the faintest trace of her earlier nerves creeping into her voice.

"Not yet. It's a lot to think about… and a big change."

She nodded "Of course, Link, I understand. It appears you've finished your dessert Link. would you like another or is your hunger sated?"

"I could manage another but I don't want to turn into Lord Halshaw."

His joke did not bring the giggle he expected. Instead her shoulders slumped slightly while she gave her best subtle princess smile. "Well then, I guess this is where we should call it a day. The council will be waiting." She stated plainly, gracefully rising from her seat and ringing a second bell that she had on the table.

Link got up and followed her as she made her way to the main entrance. Stopping just in front of it she turned to face him and he saw, despite her best efforts that her veil was cracking, revealing disappointment and… was that sadness?

"I thank you Link for being the most pleasant company. I thank you again for everything you have done for this kingdom and for me. I fully understand that you need time to consider my offer. I do not wish to pressure you into a decision you come to regret and I know that what I offer could be seen, not as an opportunity but as a prison, to someone with your free spirit…" The princess paused to take a calming breath. It didn't help as her usually collected bell-like tones began to shake. "If you wish to inform me of your choice, please contact Telma and she will be able to get word for me to put arrangements in place. I can keep the position open to you for a month, after which it must be filled and I would assume, if I have no word from you, that you do not desire the role. Know that no matter your decision, I will always consider you a hero… and a friend… and should we not meet again, I wish you an amazing life and may the goddesses bless you on your journey." Her voice may have become shaky, but with great fortitude, she kept the princess veil in place, with just the barest hint of deeper emotions in the innermost reaches of her sapphire eyes.

Links mind was sent reeling by her last few lines "and should we not meet again…?" Did that truly mean what it implied? For some reason such a prospect as not seeing Zelda again didn't just leave him disappointed, but filled him with a deep sense of anguish that turned a knot his stomach. All of a sudden, the thought of turning her down became almost inconceivable. Yet he did not speak up, for his fears of command and a life bound by strict rules held him back. Also, he couldn't escape the feeling that he'd forgotten something… Telma's Bar…

On receiving no reply Zelda's gaze fell and she couldn't or possibly didn't even attempt to hide the hurt from her voice. "So, Basil should be here shortly to escort you…"

"Telma's Bar, of course! I'm so sorry princess. I just had this horrible feeling I'd forgotten something and… and… I had, oh where did I put that letter?!" Link patted his ridiculous outfit down for pockets.

"A letter… from Telma?"

"No, a letter from a friend of Telma, oh where did I put it?!"

"Who is this friend and why would they wish for you to deliver their letter?"

"An old ex-royal guard who's name I…I think it began with an A. He apparently knew you and your father. Ah here it is." He finally found the letter and looked up only to see Zelda's face turned white and her entire body tense.

"It can't be… Alfonzo?!"

"Yes, that was it."

"No, no no it can't be… give me that!" without waiting for a response she snatched the scrunched-up paper from his hand and opened it with trembling fingers.

She let out a ragged gasp as she read the first line and her hand flew to her mouth. Link's senses suddenly went into overdrive as he watched her entire body begin to shake as she continued to read. Had he made a terrible mistake?! He could hear her heartrate climbing and she started to pant erratically, her eyes growing ever wider with shock as her hands shuddered so violently, he was amazed she could even decipher the letter.

"Princess, what's wrong?!" He wanted to intervene, but knew not how to save her from her distress. Should he swipe the demon letter away or would that make it worse? Part of him wanted to hug her but that was probably the biggest crime in the book, not that he hadn't already held the princess in a similar manner before.

"Princess?!"

Zelda's startled gaze snapped up to his and Link's stomach flipped at the sight of the complete stranger that stood trembling before him. Gone was the confident, graceful and collect to princess, replaced by a vulnerable, fragile maiden riddled with fear, sadness and regret. "Link… Please…" she pleaded breathlessly.

Time seemed to crawl as the princess feebly reached for him with a pure white gloved hand and he extended his to take it. Just as they were about to contact, her legs gave way beneath and Zelda fell away from him. Link threw caution and courtly etiquette to the winds as he dashed to save her before she hit the floor.

He caught her halfway to the carpet and pulled her tight to his chest to support her as her legs lolled uselessly. Holding her for the first time, without the severe debilitation of sleep deprivation, she suddenly seemed so light and delicate, even with her pauldrons. Their eyes met as she gazed helplessly up it him and he saw it clear as day, all the emotions and doubts she buried from everyone: fear, loneliness, guilt and… shame. A solitary tear escaped her moist blue pools of unfiltered emotion and trickled down her cheek.

When they'd met he'd been greeted with tears of laughter, now as he was soon to be escorted out, possibly to never see her again, it would end with tears of sadness and loneliness that tugged painfully at his heartstrings.

No, it couldn't end like this!

What so of man would he be to abandon the princess, now that he what she hid inside. Regardless of the possible hardships this position may hold, he could not use them as an excuse to turn his back on another who needed him. He'd done too much of that already. If sacrificing any chance at find his own happiness let Zelda find some peace then… that was a price he'd willingly pay. After all, isn't that what heroes are supposed to do?

With his free hand, he grabbed one of hers, briefly marvelling at it's delicate compared to his own, work-worn and calloused from his adventures and livelihood. He met her gaze and opened his mouth to speak.

Then came a knock at the door…


	13. A Matter of Strife or Theft

**A.N: I would first like to say thank you to all those fantastic people who reviewed my last chapter. Glad to hear so many people are enjoying it. I greatly appreciate them as they are one of the main things that keeps me motivated to keep me going when my chapters are becoming mind meltingly long (Such as this chapter) and to the guest reviewer who recognised the Witcher 3 influences in there, including a deliberate reference, congratulations!**

** Kurogane Tsubasa: With regard to your comment on mental strain with long chapters, I was originally planning on this chapter and the next all being one continuous stream, but in the end I just couldn't cope, and quite frankly I'mnot sure many readers would be able to cope with it either.**

**Even so this chapter has been an absolute nightmare to write! It might be a nightmare to read as well!**

**As always feedback is greatly appreciated, I hope you enjoy and I hope you have a great day (at least better than Links)!**

**Chapter 12 – A Matter of Strife or Theft**

Hyrule Castle – 126 days A.G

Link stared down the long empty stone corridor, wholly unremarkable and devoid of any features that distinguished it from any other in this labyrinthine royal palace. It was a sight that hadn't changed in the hours he'd been standing here and it was unlikely to change any time soon. His improved hearing occasionally picked up the sounds of muffle footsteps or voices drifting through the stone ceiling or the far-off mahogany door that lead back to the main castle, but those responsible for breaking the silence never graced him with their presence. It would certainly be a welcome distraction from the mind-numbing monotony that was guard duty.

Of course, he had no one to blame but himself for his current predicament, as he had chosen to accept the princess's offer, fully informed that this would be part of his role. She had been nothing if not honest in describing his duties. Link frowned and scratched his nose to try and relieve the itch that had become obnoxiously noticeable thanks to the complete absence of outside stimulation. Itch scratched the best he could, he then readjusted his bracers and flattened the red sash that ran from his left shoulder down to his right hip.

The one activity that guard duty was good for was rumination and he had plenty to ponder.

It had been three weeks…

Three weeks since his fateful audience with the princess, three weeks since he'd humiliated himself in front of half the castle guards and three weeks since he'd been caught with his arms around the princess, following her, still unexplained, collapse.

What little he did know, thankfully soothed his conscience that he wasn't at fault for the incident, at least if she was being honest with him. The contents of the letter did appear to be the catalyst for her fainting, yet Zelda expressed gratitude to him for delivering it. That was after she had finally regained the powers of speech enough to persuade Basil and a couple of the royal guards out of throwing him in the dungeon for "harming her royal highness with the vile desire of tainting her purity!" The situation had been an absolute mess.

That, however, had been the last time he'd seen her, which left him worrying. He would have thought that she might meet him even if only for the briefest of moments simply to see how he was settling in. He knew that she was often incredibly busy but surely at some point they should have run into one another by now. Was she avoiding him? Was she embarrassed over fainting? Had she lied when she said she was grateful for the letter? Was she angry?

Indeed, the thought occurred to him that it would certainly go a way to explaining his out of the way guard postings. Could this be his punishment? No, Zelda didn't seem the vindictive or scheming type and he had faith that Zelda with her wisdom and understanding would realise that it had not been his intention to cause her distress.

Could it be that she was simply swamped with duties and that he was over-thinking the issue? Most likely, but when you've nothing else to occupy you, other than your ponderings, and you also happened to have narrowly avoided a prison sentence after a dramatic and mysterious incident, that tends to happen.

Link cast his mind back to his experiences thus far in his new life, to prevent him slipping into yet another cycle of worrying and reassurance. He had to admit, despite some bumps along the way, his introductory weeks to the boots of a member of Hyrules army hadn't been quite the nightmare he'd dreaded.

He hadn't started on the best footing due to his comical appearance, which had continued to haunt him until a few days ago as his hair grew back. Rumours had also abounded regarding his "special" position and privileges which were blatantly highlighted by the fact that he alone was not required to wear traditional guard armour, a liberty that he was incredibly thankful for. He became an island of colour in a sea of cold metal as he chose to carry on his personal habit of sporting his classic green hero look, the only change being the red sash and medallion indicating his position and rank as a member of the army.

This major distinction in uniform, while much more comfortable for Link made him stand out Like a sore thumb and had only exacerbated the divide between him and his comrades in his regiment. They'd seen him as a pretty boy who got special privileges due to royal favouritism rather than skill or achievement. Link had even been forced to point out that he was the hero of Twilight in an attempt to justify it, but that only added more fuel to the flames of his derision as most didn't believe him, brandling him a liar and a charlatan. Quite frankly, he couldn't entirely blame them.

The soldier's general scorn for him combined with his knack for getting lost and, as a result, running everywhere earned him the nickname of "Leg-it Link". Add in those who witnessed his outfit for his audience with Zelda and it was a recipe for endless mocking and ridicule.

Luckily two events on the final day of his first week proved to be a turning point in what had, up to that stage, been validation of his worst fears. The first was when the 31st regiment, responsible for escorting the princess to Ordon, had returned and recognised him, corroborating his claims. The second occurred shortly after, as the few remaining sceptics demanded he demonstrate his skills in sparring, which apparently it was standard protocol to refrain from until the second week for recruit induction. Fortunately, such rules were waived given his unique standing and all the soldiers not on duty gathered in the training yard to witness his prowess.

What followed, even with Link's lack of recent practice, was two hours of clinical and unrelenting massacre, as Link made quick and casual work of any opponent who dared challenge him. His nickname took on a new meaning as he danced effortlessly round every attack that came his way, with footwork that left most onlookers envious. He had even managed to attract an audience of servants and a couple of nobles on the castle balconies that overlooked the yard. One on one, two on one, three on one, it didn't matter! Link emerged victorious.

With his unprecedented show of strength, agility and showmanship, combined with the now confirmed title of hero, his popularity had risen faster and higher than Lord Halshaw's pulse and blood pressure during his battle of wits with Zelda.

To Link's surprise he discovered that "news" of the confrontation had spread throughout both the ranks of the soldiers and the court, though accounts varied wildly from party to party. One thing however could be stated for certain. The battle had done incalculable damage to Lord Halshaw's reputation, and by extension that of his family, although he now knew that it had already been on the decline for several years. By chance they had happened to cross paths on the second week of his stay and Link found himself taken aback by how haggard and dishevelled the lord appeared. He'd expected some snide remark or comment to be thrown his way but was greeted with little more than a bleary-eyed stare as the man shuffled past, stinking of booze. He almost felt sorry for the miserable man.

He had yet to meet any other members of the council but knowledge and opinions regarding them were sketchy and mixed, with the primary response from other guards to such questions being "Don't know, don't care!" It was that very attitude, repeated ad nauseum to virtually any subject that wasn't related to drinking, sparring, dirty jokes or wenches that went a long way to accounting for Link's sparse group of friends among the general rank and file. He had always considered himself to be uneducated by regular standards but some of these soldiers made him look like Shad by comparison. If brains were dynamite most of them couldn't demolish anything bigger than a pumpkin.

Most of those he considered friends were his fellow officers, among them being Ashei, but their shift rota seemed to conspire against any chance of them having an opportunity to chat two days of every three. He'd tried to drill her on what happened with her meeting with Zelda but she was decidedly Mum about the whole affair. All he got for his trouble was crossed arms and a slight pout as her eyes flitted about trying to avoid his. It wasn't surprising given her prideful nature, which truly reared its ugly head when they sparred. She may have initially said that she was glad he was around so she could actually have a challenge, however when she faced that challenge, and racked up a number of heroically close yet depressingly unanimous defeats, she demonstrated that she wasn't the most gracious of losers.

His other friends in among the officers fortunately lacked that particular flaw but made up for it with diverse foibles of their own, one of which had been responsible for his current double length guard shift. It seemed that even the officers were not beyond the draw of alcohol and one had hit the bottle pretty hard the previous night. The inevitable hangover that arrived on cue this morning meant that someone had to take over his shift and Link, being incapable of refusing someone in need, volunteered to take his place only to remember that his own shift followed directly on from it.

"you've really got to work on saying no sometimes" he grumbled to himself, doing a jig on the spot to stop his legs from falling asleep. Time was an illusion on these long guard postings as the hours stretched to obscene lengths in a desperate attempt to drive him to madness. He could not judge how long he'd stood here for, as there were no windows, no clock and no passers-by to quiz. He may have been able to guess by how the candles had burned down, but he hadn't bothered to make a note of where they'd started.

Some nobles apparently carried around mini clocks in their pockets called watches but he had no idea where to get one or if he could even afford the cost. They used them as status symbols which indicated they were probably worth a small fortunate, that he no longer possessed due to his generous donations after his adventure. Oh, what he wouldn't give for a watch right now, if nothing else but to numb his mind, following the second hand as it spun round the dial endlessly.

Yep, boredom was the inevitable pastime that all on guard shift acquired sooner or later. The question was "how soon had he acquired it?". Did he still have hours left on the clock or would salvation soon arrive through the far door?

As there wasn't another soul in sight Link absent-mindedly unsheathed his sword and gave a few careless flourishes before returning it to his back-scabbard. He'd been legitimately surprised by just how many brows had been raised among the ranks at him carrying his sword on his back. He'd thought it perfectly ordinary until he observed and came to the startling revelation that he and Rusl were the only people he could recall in all of Hyrule who bore their swords on their backs.

Oh, for Farores sake! I had that thought the last time I produced my sword, however many eons ago that was. How many cycles of deliberating, reminiscing, skipping and sword flailing would he be forced to endure before a saviour appeared to take over his unenviable post? It wasn't just his mind that was starving. His stomach was complaining of lack of sustenance too. The second time in three weeks… just like when he met the princess.

He was about to start a new cycle of worrying over Zelda when at last salvation clattered through the door in the shape of a soldier he only vaguely knew. The man stomped up to Link, apathy stamped in bold letters across his semi-concealed features as he mumbled a greeting and announced the end of Link's guard duties for today, with all the enthusiasm of a Zora who's been offered a vacation to the Gerudo desert.

Link bid a hasty thanks to his rescuer and virtually ran for the door, desperate for some change of scenery, no matter how minor and simply grateful that his tedium had finally come to an end. Unfortunately, his troubles on the other hand, had not, as he realised that, with his extra-long shift, he'd missed lunch at the barracks. He had only two options as far as he could see; wait until evening meal or procure some food directly from the kitchens.

Another growl from his tummy informed him that waiting really wasn't a sensible option, however his mind quickly sprung upon another problem as he found the clock in the next corridor. Meals at the barracks, while not poultry in size, rarely resulted in any leftovers, which was all he could hope to find at this hour… at least in the soldier's kitchen…

"But there is another option" Came a whisper with an unmistakable lilt. Link froze, breath catching in his throat as his chest tightened. He knew that voice intimately… but he also knew it couldn't really be her, no matter how much he'd wish it to be.

After a brief glance down the empty corridor his gaze turned back to the clock and the all too familiar black and blue imp perched atop it, regarding him with her characteristically toothy grin and a devious glint in her amber eyes. There was such life in the glowing orbs that he could almost be forgiven for thinking she really had miraculously returned, yet he was painfully conscious of the true source of the image before him.

Despite his awareness of the illusion and the melancholia that descended as he gazed upon its unnatural stillness, he could not bring himself to banish it, for fear that he would condemn the very memory of her as well. Instead he allowed the mental quarrel that would surely follow to play out as though it was really her.

"Hey, why the long face?" chirped the vision, uncannily capturing the real Midna's sass. Link knew the real identity of this phantom though. It may not have been Midna in the flesh but she certainly bore some of the blame for digging it up from where he'd buried it.

Being the strait-laced and upstanding man that he was, it was much to Link's chagrin that he had long buried a dark secret that, while not as monstrous as his self-doubt, would certainly ensure no one would ever see him in the same way again. The shocking truth was he'd once had… a mischievous streak! Well perhaps in his case most would probably describe it as a speck rather than a streak, but just like your average fly at a picnic, it was proof that size is no object when your goal is to irritate.

He'd thought he had successfully snuffed out that particular unsavoury characteristic when he started to take responsibility in the village or that he'd somehow grown out of it. Unfortunately, under Midna's careful nurturing influence the speck had sprouted anew and in some sick tribute to it's saviour, taken up her voice and her guise in her absence.

Was he such a masochist, that part of him would chose such torment as to take on her form? "Oh stop being so dour, and don't think that sad innocent face is fooling anyone. You know what option I'm talking about." The phantom jibed with a cock of the head.

Oh, he knew perfectly well, as it was that very epiphany that had brought the rogue phantom out in the first place. They were quite literally of the same mind, just with very different sensibilities when it came to rules and when to break them. It had been as he'd watched the minute hand of the clock, deep in contemplation, that he'd come to the realisation that his shift had ended, by pure coincidence, at roughly the same time that the royal kitchen would be empty of staff but, hopefully, stocked up with the leftovers of the council's midday meal.

The prospect of more delicacies such as those he'd sampled at his audience with her highness was an undeniably tempting one, however the opportunity was fleeting as the staff would soon return and either gorge on the delectable morsels themselves or be packaging them up to be donated. Then there was the fact that the kitchen entrance was always guarded.

"Since when have armed guards been a problem for us?!"

Well he couldn't just go around beating up his fellow soldiers…

"Honestly, you may pride yourself on being the sensible side of this partnership, but I'm clearly the brains of this duo. Of course we don't attack them! If our hours spent dungeon crawling should have taught you anything, it's that there are often multiple routes past obstacles."

Link sighed in frustration. "Can't we just go to Telma's…"

"Absolutely not!" Phantom Midna promptly leapt down from her seat on the rim of the clock and floated to his head height, matching the real imps characteristic glare she displayed when he was being particularly stubborn. "You're talking about 20 minutes to get there, 20 waiting while it's cooked, 20 again to eat and 20 minutes back. Not only would we be late for command training but it would be for food that, while satisfactory, pales in comparison to the treasures of the royal kitchen."

"Since when have you cared about being late?!" came his mental retort.

"Since it supports my argument. Now stop being such a stubborn wolf and let's get going. it's not like anyone's gonna miss a few leftovers just because they're from the royal kitchen. Go on, live a little."

"what if we get caught?"

"Don't overthink things. Just picture that table of delights you feasted on last time; tender pork, choice beef, succulent pheasant, tasty taters and mountains of vegetables and that's not even considering the desserts! Now are you in?!" Before Link could even think of a reply, his stomach spoke for him giving a loud growl of agreement. Had he just been outvoted by his stomach?!

"It would seem the crowd is against you, Mr Stick-In-The-Mud" Midna crowed in satisfaction.

Link groaned in resignation. "Fine, but if this ever comes back to bite me, it's on you!"

"Gooood boy, now go! We haven't got all day!" With that the imp merged with his shadow as she had so often done in his adventures and he set off at pace through the labyrinth of corridors, hallways and stairwells towards the royal kitchens, occasionally startling something half-awake guard his, apparently, sudden appearance. He wasn't entirely sure how they found it such a surprise when his fast, heavy footfalls echoed down the stone passages like picks pummelling rock in a deep mine.

After a couple of wrong turns, and one embarrassing instance of having to ask directions from a passing maid, he finally found himself approaching his destination. "what's happened to your sense of direction? You never struggled this much at the lake bed temple and that was far less straight-forward. Perhaps things would have gone smoother had you let me lead." his shadow admonished, but finishing with her distinctive chuckle.

"The lake bed temple? Less straight-forward? Pleeaase! You've clearly not been paying attention!" Link retorted in his head, marvelling at just how well his mischievous side could mimic his lost friend. He almost felt like he was back on his adventures again. It seemed ironic but Midna's prickly demeanour and sarcastic comments always boosted his morale. His confidence was growing and the sight of the two guards, unfortunately wide awake, flanking the entrance to the royal kitchen no longer phased him.

Time to scope out the place… casually. After all he didn't want to raise suspicions. Striding with his best feigned nonchalance towards the door, he tried to identify the two guards to see whether he had any chance of tricking them. Upon a subtle sideways glance and picking up their scents, he recognised them and cursed silently. Damn it! He knew the two to be meatheads, but he was also aware there was little chance of fooling them into abandoning their posts, not because they were smart, but because they were even more by-the-book than he was.

He'd just need to find another way in. Passing by the main entrance and the guards, he acknowledged them by exchanging a nod as he strode coolly towards another door at the end of the hallway. If his memory served, he should find himself in the royal gardens.

He was proven correct as he slipped out the door and his eyes, used to the flickering candlelit corridors of the castle were suddenly assaulted by the glaring rays of a warm spring sun, as cold echoing stone was replaced by a sea of green, with bursts of more vibrant collages of colour dotting the landscape. Emerging from the quiet, dreary atmosphere of the inside, he was greeted by a chorus of chirping birds and the gurgling of fountains and other water features.

Casting his eyes about this green oasis of calm and serenity, it was easy to forget that it was part of the castle and that it was hemmed in by high stone walls. It wouldn't surprise him if the rumours were true that this was Zelda's favourite place in the castle. For a moment he paused just to take in the scenery, as while he wasn't one for appreciating horticulture, he knew beauty when he saw it.

Off to his right was an ornamental flower garden that held, as it's Centrepoint, a magnificent fountain that Link could say he was well acquainted with. He'd tried to use it to wash the stink out of his hair after his audience with the princess, much to Ashei's amusement. She had certainly appreciated Basil and Bernard's styling choices more than he had.

Turning his attention to the left, he found what he guessed to be the famous castle hedge maze. Quite frankly its existence seemed rather superfluous given that the palace was a maze in itself. Either the royal family had a penchant for puzzles or they were all gluttons for punishment. Word had it that the princess was fond of venturing in and spend her free moments there. Perhaps she was in there right now. Perhaps he should investigate, just in case she is and...

"Ahem, can we please get back on track! You can daydream about the princess later. Right now, we've got a dungeon to raid, some treasure to collect and a tight schedule!" Midna's commanding tone snapped him back to the task at hand.

"As you command" Link mumbled with feigned annoyance, though he had to admit, he was rather enjoying this. It was almost like old times. The dynamic duo versus the world.

The royal kitchen protruded out of the main wall of the castle running along the side of the hedge maze, covered by a slanted slate roof with no visible hatches. Across the top of the outer wall were several small slits too high to reach and too small for him to fit through even if he could. No luck so far. His one remaining hope was that an opportunity for entry lay round the back of the building.

Following the path between the kitchen and the maze, his heart initially sank at the perfectly uniform stone wall that made up the rear of the kitchen. It was only as his gaze drifted skywards, preparing for an eye roll of climactic proportions at his seemingly rotten luck, that he saw it. Just below the lip of the slanting roof was a square cut-glass window and a thin ledge just wide enough to stand on. The window wasn't ideally sized or placed, as it was at the same height as the second floor of the castle and possessed dimensions barely larger than his shield.

Many would dismiss such an option as impossible, but spurred on by the presence of his companion and his memories of adventure, Link instead sought and soon found a potential solution. That solution being a small worn pillar, possible part of a larger structure at some point, that jutted out from the main castle wall, perfectly distanced between the kitchen window and the battlements that enclosed the entire castle.

"reckon you could jump that?" Came Midna's slightly mocking tones and Link could just picture her cocking her head and raising her eyebrow in disbelief. Oh, it was gonna be tricky but he would do it, if for no other reason than to prove her wrong.

With no time to waste, he dashed off towards the nearest tower to gain access to the battlements, praying that they weren't being heavily patrolled lest someone witness his supposedly suicidal antics. Reaching the top, he breathed a sigh of relief as the only guard he could spy was at the opposite side of the garden and would be out of sight of his break in attempt.

It was as he arrived at the jump position that he began to have second thoughts. The ground was a considerable distance, definitely enough to cause serious injury should he miss the pillar, which appeared little wider than your average bar stool when viewed from above. Could he really make it?

"Chickening out, are we?" His companion chirped with some amusement.

"Dream on, I'm just getting my bearings." Link replied with a hint of nervousness. He rolled his shoulders and jogged on the spot, giving the pillar the same death glare he gave to King Bublin when he kidnapped Colin. It was probably a drop of one floor from the battlements to the pillar and another from the pillar to the window. Was this all really worth it, simply to avoid an uncomfortable wait? He'd made bigger leaps on his adventures, but it's easier to justify throwing yourself from a great height when the fate of your friends and the kingdom hangs in the balance as opposed to facing a few hours of a dissatisfied stomach.

"just picture the dessert and don't think about the drop."

Link did his best to calculate the precise distance required, as his margin for error here was going to be miniscule.

Calculations complete, he took a few steps back and a deep breath to centre himself. After another brief scan of his surroundings to confirm the lack of witnesses, Link braced himself, channelling all his focus into the coming jump… and then faltered for a moment. He hadn't done anything like this since he'd saved the kingdom and he wasn't even sure whether he could without the additional power of the wolf "curse" to aid him.

"What are you waiting for. It's now or never!"

Without thinking Link's feet left the stone floor and time slowed down. It was only as he dropped that he truly comprehended the insanity of his actions. All this for a bit of food! Did he have a death wish?!

Such thoughts were knocked from his head as one foot met the top of the pillar, only for the old structure to crack from the impact. His other foot failed to find its perch and combined with the continued momentum of his overestimated leap, would have flung him forward off the tiny platform, had his fingers not dug into a crevice in the wall of the castle.

Link fought to steady himself as his gaze fell to the ground, a nerve shredding yet strangely exhilarating three floors below him. There was a rush, as more adrenaline coursed through his veins than at any point since Ganondorf's demise and despite his perilous position, he was suddenly filled with a wave of elation.

"Great going, you're halfway there" Even Midna was praising him now.

Finally steady with both feet on the platform, he took in the second half of his trail. This second jump would be trickier as he had no ran up. If he underestimated he would likely break his legs on impact with the ground, however if he overestimated he risked his face being resculpted by a thoroughly unforgiving stone wall. Despite these dangers, the buzz of adrenaline and the thrill of his first success left him feeling almost recklessly confident. He hadn't felt so alive since his duel with the dark lord.

With just a moment to compose himself, he jumped for the window. His fingers found the ledge even as his body struck the wall, hard enough to leave a bruise but luckily nothing more. His face had fortunately been spared any remodelling. He was almost there!

Of course, entering the kitchen would present its own dangers were he to get caught, and he would technically be stealing. It was safe for him to drop down from here. Perhaps he should…

Crash!

The pillar behind him crumbled and tumbled to the floor with a thunderous thud. Link almost let go in shock but managed to keep hold of the ledge, receiving another shot of adrenaline, as his heart leapt in his chest.

The crash was followed by a moments silence and Link almost managed to delude himself that he'd gotten away with it, when he heard commotion from the castle. Acting without a second thought, he hurriedly flung the window open before hoisting himself in through the gap, in the dark as to whether he would face an unguarded treasure trove or a world of trouble.

Upon entering and swiftly shutting the dirt smeared window behind him, he was plunged into very literal darkness as he seemed to be in some sort of small attic space, filled with what felt like rough sacks of potatoes, grain and other assorted vegetables and a whole lot of dust. With the sounds of two curious guards to the rear, the low slanted ceiling seemingly bearing down on him and near pitch black ahead of him, Link began to wonder whether he'd just trapped himself in a glorified store cupboard with no actual connection to the kitchen. His concerns, however, were quickly allayed as his superior vision acclimatised to the gloom to reveal a half-sized wooden door at the other end.

After some eavesdropping on the guards pouring over the mysteriously collapsed pillar outside and concluding that neither had the creativity or brainpower to come up with the correct explanation, Link turned his attention to the door and what lay beyond it. Crawling over stray sacks obstructing his path, he waded to the small hatch and, pressing his ear to it, listened for any signs of people in the next room. All that he could pick up was the crackling of a low burning fire and the occasional faint drip of a tap. The seconds passed as he waited to hear for any particularly stealthy occupants, before cautiously edging open the hatchway to peek through.

The floor beyond the door formed a ledge that extended just far enough to conceal the Kitchen that lay below. The crackling fires, of which he guessed there were two, cast a weak orange glow across the wooden beams of the vaulted ceiling, which was all he could see past the ledge. While his sight was obscured, his sense of smell wasn't and he was bombarded by a cacophony of competing aromas, some that would make anyone's nose wrinkle, others that would prompt instant salivation.

Confident the coast was clear, he ventured out onto the ledge and at last witnessed the "majesty" of the empty royal kitchens, largely bathed in dark shadows. The room was more substantial than he expected, extending into the main castle with five long regimental rows of tables, running in parallel, the centre three all decked out with chopping boards, pans and a variety of kitchen utensils. The outer rows beheld, what he suspected would be the rewards for his trials, silver platters with lids on, all neatly arranged with some definite but, thus far, undeciphered order. Directly ahead lay the entrance that he'd passed earlier, still guarded on the other side, he presumed, by the same two guards.

The room was lit by two contrasting sources, neither of which seemed able or willing to banish the heavy shadows that blanketed much of the space. To his right on the inner most wall were two huge fireplaces for spit roasting, though neither currently possessed flames worthy of their dominating presence, having burned down to little more than glowing embers, with just the occasional flickering whisper to remind you they were still alive.

On the outer wall, just below the beams of the ceiling, were the slit windows he'd spotted on his reconnaissance, that produced thin daggers of harsh sunlight that sliced through the blanket of darkness, their blades, highlighted in the slightly smoky air, too thin to truly slay the shadows. Around the room were the faint glowing pinpricks of burned down candles, like cat's eyes staring out from the gloom.

With not another soul in sight, Link dusted himself down as best he could and dropped down silently from the ledge, well aware that he could have taken the ladder next to him. He briefly glanced behind to take in what lay underneath the ledge. Three fancy looking ovens lined the wall neighbouring the fireplaces along with, what he assumed to be a servant's corridor that possibly lead up to the royal wing. A long line of pots and pans were hung from the underside of the ledge while several cupboards and the tap he'd heard dripping, lined the back wall.

He might as well take advantage of the castles miraculous water system. After all, he didn't feel like consuming dust caped food if he could help it. With extreme care he eased the tap into a gentle flow and washed his hands, including his gauntlets, which he was too lazy to remove. Plus, there was a risk he could forget them and his rather distinctive bracers being randomly being discovered in the royal kitchens would certainly raise suspicions. The only thing worse would be losing his hat in here.

Hygienically prepared, Link tiptoed across to the nearest row of silver platters, situated on the line of tables hugging the outer wall, with the sunlight blades illuminating his face. He reached out, cautiously optimistic.

Now to see whether lucky had granted him favour. He lifted the lid and a broad grin quickly formed at the gourmet delights it revealed. Oh yes, they were lucky! Thank you Midna!

"Well Midna…" Link whispered triumphantly "it looks like we've… just… struck… gold" His words trailed off and only the crackling fire responded in the otherwise smoky silence. At what point had he lost sight of his play of fantasy, that Midna had returned, being nothing more than his imagination and his memories combining? Had he really been so sad as to accept what was so clearly a pale imitation of her, just for the illusion of her company? What did that say about him?

He stood there in forlorn silence, frozen in morose contemplation, his earlier elation and triumph rapidly dissipating as his heart sank. Mischief had achieved its goal by getting him here and had promptly abandoned him to melancholia. The moments ticked by with only the fire for company. The harsh blades of light and the cold hard shadows, combined with the set rows of tables suddenly seemed reminiscent of a mausoleum.

…

Come on, he needed to move! He had no idea when a cook or servant might come bursting in. He turned his attention back to the platter, which beheld a pile of succulent cucoo legs seasoned with herbs. He picked up a couple and made quick work gnawing down to the bones. They may have been cold now but they were still delicious. Once cleaned of all edible meat, he pocketed the bones, replaced the lid and moved onto the next platter. Best to leave as little evidence as possible.

Having worked his way across four tables of platters, discovering and snacking on small portions of pork ribs, potatoes and vegetables along the way, he finally stumbled upon the true treasures of royal cuisine… the desserts! If anything would cheer him up, this would be it.

Not wishing to be too greedy with such rich treats, he decided to check what delectable options were available before picking just one… or two. Apple and cinnamon tart, fruit cake, two varieties of cheesecake…

Oh, the treasure of all treasures. Link's eyes gleamed at the sight of roughly four inches of divine chocolate delectation. It was the chocolate and raspberry tart that had left the princess in a state of indecently rapturous bliss. There was only one but that was more than enough for him, or at least it was, until he spied an equally lonely slice of treacle sponge. He had found his two choices.

Savouring the treacle sponge slice that was devoured in just two bites, the moment came to see whether it was worthy of the highly inappropriate sounds that it had prompted the prim and proper princess to emit. It certainly smelt delicious.

Link took a bite and almost had to repress a moan of his own as he got his first taste of the gooey chocolate and raspberry delight. It truly was a divine confection that brought on an almost sensual experience. As he felt the chocolate trickle down his throat savouring every drop, his mind couldn't bring forth his memory of the princesses utterly enraptured expression as she licked that stray drop from her lips.

Mhmmm. The princess really does taste grea… er, I mean, has great taste. Wow this sweet smooth nectar really does Befuddle the brain. Even his thoughts were struggling to form coherent statements. No wonder even the princess had been temporarily mesmerised by the mind mulching power of this gastronomic gem.

Despite his best attempts to prolong the experience, he soon found himself on the last piece. It was as he raise it to his mouth that he was hit by a sudden sensation warning him that someone was approaching. He was initially perplexed as he couldn't hear or smell any signs, yet as this gut feeling rapidly grew in intensity he decided to heed whatever it was and hide. The question was where?

Having not picked up any actual noises or scents to indicate direction or distance, with just a vague and inexplicable feeling that it was from the servant's corridor, Link decided it was too risky to go for the ladder back up to the attic as he may only have a few seconds. Making an executive decision, Link stuffed the last bite of tart into his mouth, leapt up onto the table and, with an additional jump, grabbed one of the beams of the vaulted ceiling and hauled himself up to perch among the rafters, concealed entirely in darkness.

He felt quite proud of his quick thinking… until he noticed his head was lighter than it had been on the ground and it certainly wasn't vertigo. "Crap!" Link cursed as he spied his hat on the floor in the gap between the table and the wall. He was just about to drop back down to retrieve it when a sudden, unnaturally low rumble caught his ears from the rough direction of the servant's corridor, though he could swear it was actually coming from one of the cupboards next to it.

Link crouched, still as a statue, his eyes fixed on the shadowy corner the sound had emanated from. His heartrate was rising again and he began to buzz as he received another dose of adrenaline. The seconds dragged as he stared unblinkingly at the darkened doorway, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. The rumble had faded, what seemed like several minutes ago and he was beginning to wonder whether he'd imaged the whole thing when his keen ears picked up the faint creaking of a door.

Picking up the faintest of movements with his exceptional night vision, Link watched as the door of the cupboard nearest the servant's entrance edged open just enough to reveal an eye peeking out into room. It scanned the room cautiously. Through the crack Link could now hear the mysterious observers breathing and heartbeat, both slightly elevated. From the breathing he would guess that it was a woman and that hypothesis was confirmed when moments later a sophisticated and undeniably feminine perfume, similar but not the same as Zelda's, drifted to his nostrils.

Link was thoroughly intrigued by this turn of events. Who was this lady? How did she get in the cupboard? How long had she been there? Had she seen him? What was her purpose here? All these questions spun round his head like a hurricane in a bottle, until the woman in question finally, hesitantly emerged from her hiding place and the hero turned thief realised, to his shock, that he recognised her.

"Dezalleena?!" Link almost blurted in surprise, but managed to suppress to a low murmur.

Dezalleena was one of Zelda's three handmaidens. She'd ran into him, quite literally, on his first patrol shift. Upon helping her back to her feet she'd quickly thanked him and apologised for her carelessness, in a distinct accent that Link felt he knew but couldn't place, wished him luck on his posting, giving him a graceful curtsey, before hastily dashing off down the corridor. He hadn't seen her since and had little notion as to her character or what she did outside of assisting Zelda preparing each morning, which explained why she seemed to smell of Zelda's perfume. Neela, who had greeted him on another of his guard shifts hadn't shed much light on the enigmatic maid, responding to his question about her with a giggle and simply saying "Oh, she's a bit secretive, but a hoot when you get to know her."

Similar in height to himself and Zelda, though he reckoned she was slightly taller and plumper than either of them, she'd looked to him to be very plain and unassuming, wearing a simple but practical blue dress with no frills or decorative flourishes. He couldn't tell the colour of the dress in the darkness but it appeared to be the same as did her long free flowing raven locks still falling down to her lower back.

His improved vision really was a boon for this sort of environment, even if it did have its odd idiosyncrasies and malfunctions, such as Dezalleena appearing to shimmer and blur as she passed through the smoke-accented blades of sunlight from the slit windows. Link continued to observe the handmaiden as she crept cautiously yet purposefully in his direction, remaining confident that while he could see her clearly through the gloom, she, with her ordinary sight, couldn't spot him, shrouded as he was, in shadow among the roof beams. She did nevertheless appear to be suspicious that she had company, as her gaze swept the room repeatedly.

He became less sure of his assumption that she couldn't see him, as she made straight for his position, and yet her eyes slipped right by his hiding spot without so much as a second glance. On abandoning her room wide sweep, it became blatantly obvious what she was after as she made a beeline right for the dessert's tables. Something told him that this wasn't her first venture of this kind into the royal kitchens as she pulled a small satchel from her back, opened it and produced a serviette from within. She seemed to know precisely what she was looking for and where to find it. A broad smirk broke onto her face as she came up to the very table he was perched above… the table that had, until he'd relieved them of their contents, bore two platters containing a chocolate and raspberry tart and a treacle sponge.

Doing his best to maintain absolute silence, Link swung himself round as Dezalleena passed underneath him and stopped in front of platter that had once held the tart, rubbing her hands together in excitement. The hero turned one-time tart napper, in a rare moment of heartlessness, leant forward in anticipation, sensing an impending case of poetic justice, as the handmaiden reached for the lid. "Go on, you're in for a surprise!" He silently urged her on.

She gripped the lid and licked her lips, as Link held his breath.

The lid was lifted revealing an empty platter and the lady's initial response was to simply gaze in confusion, blinking incredulously at a solitary crumb that lay in the centre, the lone reminder of the once glorious dessert that had now sadly departed this mortal coil. After a few seconds of baffled inaction, she replaced the lid and proceeded to going down the entire row of tables, checking every platter in search of her target, only for confusion to turn to steadily rising frustration and anger as each new platter failed to hold the delicacy she desperately sought.

Link had to restrain himself from chuckling at the display, a smug Cheshire grin cracking his features, despite the potential danger he was in. He had to admit he was enjoying the thrill it brought.

"Ha! So you thought you could steal from royalty?! Well, too bad! I stole it first…" Ok that sounded bad. Link could already tell he was going to be hit by tidal wave of guilt in a few hours, given his propensity for it, but he decided to make the most of his reckless, rebellious revelling while he could. So, back to silently gloating at the hapless handmaiden's misfortune!

Having scoured every platter in the kitchen without success, the now thoroughly irritated woman returned to the last resting place of the tart, just below Link and lifted the lid once more in the vain hope that it had miraculously appeared. Unsurprisingly it remained conspicuously absent, prompting her to slam the lid back down with a loud clang.

Startling even herself, the handmaiden recoiled, clearly aware of her mistake. The sharp sound killed any semblance of amusement Link had been holding for the situation, as this was mutually disastrous.

"What was that!" Came an alarmed voice from just beyond the main door.

"Better check" Came another, calmer and more assured.

Dezalleena ducked under the table, heart-rate jumping like a frightened hair, just as the door swung open and the same two guards he'd spied earlier peered into the gloom. The candle light from the corridor was luckily not enough to seriously encroach on the darkness's domain, but Link was still on age. The seconds crawled by as he stared at the guards and they stared, unseeing, back following the rough direction of the sound.

As he listened to the handmaidens pounding heartbeat, he couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for her. She may have done this multiple times before but it was obvious from her nerves that she wasn't a serious criminal.

Eventually the door closed and Link, without thinking, released a long-held breath. Miraculously his error was masked be the perfectly synchronised click of the door and a louder sigh of relief from below him. Dezalleena rose apprehensively from her hiding place, apparently still oblivious to his presence right above him. That meant she hadn't discovered his hat. He still had a chance to remove all incriminating evidence without anyone knowing. He was put on edge again though as he vaguely heard in the distance what sounded like an earthquake approaching.

The handmaiden, clearly deciding to cut her losses, hastily collected a couple of pastries, wrapped them in her serviette and looked to be about to employ her exit strategy when a new voice outside the door sent her scurrying once more beneath the table.

"Zorran! Borri! I trust that everything is in order" boomed a low guttural voice, through the wood.

"Err, sort of, Master Ramoh, we've heard some strange noise and we've checked in there but… we couldn't see anything." Piped up one of the guards, clearly intimidated by whoever this Master Ramoh chap was.

"Yeah, err, we think maybe… maybe it's a rat." Chipped in the other, equally nervous.

"Oh, a rat ay!" rumbled master Ramoh ominously "of the rodent or human variety?"

"We thought they only came in one variety"

"Oh no, they come in several varieties…" The master growled "all equally good… FOR SKINNING!"

The door almost flew off its hinges as it was flung open, revealing… a goron… no, a man built like a goron, blotting out any light from the doorway that tried to enter. Shaped like a boulder on legs and looking just as solid, the man was certainly imposing. What truly disturbed Link though was that, while he bore many of their same facial features as most gorons, such having the majority of his hair being on the bottom of his head, he lacked any semblance of sanity in his eyes as he stood, panting like a rabid dog that's just sniffed out some prey.

He half expecting the monster of a man, wearing the white apron and hat of a cook, to start foaming at the mouth as he barked "Keep guard on that door unless I call you! I may need help catching the bugger!"

"But our orders are…"

"Sod your orders, we are catching ourselves… A RAT!"


	14. Out of the Frying Pan

**A.N: Hey everyone! Hope you're still enjoying the story. Sorry for the delay getting this one out. I was vacation and every estimation of this chapter's size seemed to be woefully inadequate. Thus this chapter, which melted my brain at various points due to its monumental number of ideas required, is my longest so far. I just hope the quantity hasn't compromised the quality. That's up to you to decide.**

**As always have fun and any feedback is greatly appreciated.**

**Chapter 13 – Out of the frying pan, into the sun**

The situation was heating up, quite literally…

Logs were added to smouldering embers, closely followed by a pinch of black powder and flames leapt forth. A poker was thrust into the reignited fire and held there as the predator surveyed his hunting ground with manic eyes. His gaze eventually came to rest on a table on the opposite side of the room, under which a certain handmaiden was crouched and above which a chosen hero squatted among the roof beams.

Link, from his hiding place, observed the cook apprehensively, watching the man squint in their direction, grateful for the blades of harsh sunlight that helped conceal them. The dancing hot orange glow wasn't been enough to consume all the shadowy hiding spots, but it certainly limited their numbers and effectiveness. Link was safe for the moment in his high perch, however Dezalleena wasn't likely so fortunate, as he witnessed the creeping light from the still growing fire edging along the floor towards her temporary bolthole.

Either Master Romah had spotted the handmaiden or he simply had a hunch, as his eyes remained locked on the platter that had once held the chocolate tart. It was likely that if he knew the "rat's" position he'd likely be calling the guards, nevertheless it was safe to assume that the only thing preventing him from spotting her was the slashing knives of sunlight stabbing his prying eyes, exacerbating the shadows by contrast. If he moved out of their glare then, at the very least, she was done for, and with his hat just a couple of feet behind her, he would surely be scuppered as well.

The end of the long metal spike emerged an angry red when Master Romah removed it from the burning logs and, eyes never leaving the target, he brought it up to inspect its searing point. His face split into a disturbing feral grin and, with a snort of satisfaction, he began to prowl down the line of tables, still fixated on the platter.

Link had to repress the urge to reach for his sword as this hunter stalked them. He knew it wasn't a credible solution to their problems but the man's rabid demeanour put him more than a little on edge. He may have been a stickler for justice, but he could never allow a maid, even one with a penchant for food theft to suffer such a fate as to be caught by that beast.

That left him with a monumental dilemma. The 5 rows of tables ran lengthways from the front to the back of the kitchen, with aisle between each. He and Dezalleena were hidden above and below the outermost row by the outer wall while their nemesis was rapidly approaching the front end of the row closest to the inner wall where the fireplaces were. They were closer to the main entrance than the ladder or the servant's corridor, however the main entrance was currently covered by two armed guards and would soon be further blocked off by the demon cook, who'd just rounded the boundary of his line of tables and was stalking up the heads of the rows towards their position.

They had no chance of escaping out the back way because they were guaranteed to be spotted, they couldn't get out the front for the same reason and if Link didn't magic up a plan in the next few seconds then Romah would soon be in a prime position to see both of them. He needed a distraction!

Romah passed the first row…

How could he create a distraction? Simple, find a way to make a noise somewhere else. But how?

Romah passed the second…

The only possible solution would be to throw something. But what did he have to throw? Links struggled to concentrate when he registers the steady rise in his unwitting charge's heartrate as the hot poker and its owner drew ever closer.

Romah passed the third…

Come on, come on!... Of course! The bones he'd collected from his earlier "snack". By no means the ideal projectile for the task but he'd have to make do because if he didn't, he could kiss his new castle life goodbye… and possibly get skewered up the arse with a red-hot poker!

Romah reached the fourth…

With the handmaiden's pulse pounding like a drum, he knew it was now or never!

With all his strength, Link lobbed a pork rib at one of the furthest, most heavily packed cooking tables at the back of the room. The bone struck its target cleanly, successfully dislodging a spoon and a ladle, which crashed to the ground with considerable fanfare, while the bone itself skidded off into the dark, effectively hiding any direct evidence.

The demon cook whipped his head towards the sound, halting his advance. Just in time too, as Link estimated it would have taken just a couple more steps and they would have been spotted. His distraction had worked… for now at least.

One bone down. Four more left. He'd have to use them wisely.

As the human boulder lumbered off towards the fallen utensils, Link was vaguely aware of Dezalleena taking advantage of the distraction by crawling up the row of tables, retreating from the direct light of the fire, which illuminated the rooms centre. The corners still held their ground on enforcing the blanket of darkness, however that could all change should the other fire be lit. The distraction may have bought them precious breathing room but unless he could figure out an escape plan, not only for himself but also his unknowing partner in crime, then it was simply prolonging the inevitable.

Master Ramoh knelt down to paw over the utensils, regarding each with interrogatory stare as though by doing so he could scare a confession from them. With no useful information forthcoming from the kitchenware, he turned his wild gaze to the rest of the room, head twitching reminiscent of a hawk scanning a field for mice. This man may have donned the demeanour of an animal, but Link was grateful to be the only one gifted with the superior senses of one.

Frantic sweeps uncovering nothing, the cook suddenly froze, before throwing a glance over his shoulder to the main door. "Grrr I know you're still in here and I will find you" The words came out as a low guttural growl of frustration, followed by a violent bark "Zorran, Borri, Get in here! I need some extra pairs of eyes!"

Answering the call, the two guards burst in. "Have you found something Master Ramoh?!"

Now it was Links turn to have his heart in his mouth as one of the guards halted mere feet from Dezalleena's current position. Link spied the edge of her dress pooling out from under the table. All the guard need do would be to glance down and it would be all over for her.

"No, of course I haven't!" spat the cook, brandishing the poker. "Why do you think I asked for more eyes?!"

"Well our duty is to guard the door and…"

"Your duty is to guard this room. This room! THE ROYAL KITCHEN! A duty that you and your fellow soldiers have clearly taken rather laxly in recent months. Do you know how many times I had desserts stolen since the twilight?"

At the mention of the twilight, Link saw both the guards shudder and their gazes fell to their boots as they gave no answer. How had they not spotted her?!

"Five! That's five times someone slipped by you and made off with some of Hyrule's very finest confections. Cakes and sponges only worthy of the highest and most noble pallets in the land, and you let them get pilfered by a common thief!"

"Hey we're not the only ones who perform this guard posting, there are…" The guard above Dezalleena's hiding place tried to protest but was cut off by Romah's furious response. "Four of those instances happened on your watch, Borri!" He snarled "Now you're going to make up for it by helping me catch the vermin!"

Link listened to their argument in stunned amazement. Had this mysterious handmaiden been responsible for all these instances of stolen food? He may not condone Master Romah's chosen form of punishment but he could understand his frustration, though admittedly not to the degree of turning into a rabid dog.

Even though he could sympathise with the man's anger, he couldn't bring himself to even consider letting her be discovered, partly for the fact that it would, of course, make him a hypocrite, but also because of an overwhelming compulsion to protect her. He guessed an urge to save damsels in distress just came with the hero title and, by their current situation, this damsel was certainly in need of urgent assistance. Every second he failed to act was another chance for her to be caught.

Link picked out another pork rib from his stash and chucked it at a different table directly behind the cook. Unlike his first shot, it failed to budge the assortment of knives resting atop it, and the continued argument of the trio drowned out the quiet clatter of the bone rattling to a stop.

"How do you know it wasn't a rat, you know, the rodent kind?" Zorran, who up till this point had stay silent, enquired awkwardly.

"Because rats can't lift lids off platters you Pillock!" Romah bellowed in exasperation "and they certainly don't replace them afterwards…"

With the cooks barking tones ringing round the kitchen, Link decided to chance using his slingshot, which he'd avoided previously due to it not being silent. It would have the power to guarantee a distraction though. He loaded the third bone into the slingshot and began scanning the space for the best target as his opponents squabbling carried on, showing little signs of abating. There were plenty of choices of target. The question was, which would be most likely to result in attracting their attention to the optimum position for obscuring their view?

His deliberations were cut short when he released that Borri had left the heated debate and fallen uncharacteristically silent. Link glanced sideways at him and his heart, still in his mouth, almost stopped. Borri's eyes were fixed on the small patch of blue fabric peeking out from beneath the table. He began to reach for it.

Throwing caution to the winds, Link picked a target by instinct, pulled back the slingshot to near breaking point and released.

Thwack!

The bone collided heavily with a silver platter directly in front of the recently reignited fireplace. On Impact it splintered into several shards, which ricocheted off in multiple directions, the majority finding their way into the flames. Both the lid and the platter beneath tumbled from their resting place, crashing to the ground, with a clang that echoed through the roof beams. It was joined almost immediately by a piercing shriek as Zorran, proud member of the hyrule army, screamed like a castrated canary.

Borri jerked backwards in bewilderment and his sights snapped towards the commotion. After a moment of stunned silence as they all just stared, he dashed off to investigate the disturbance and Link breathed a sigh of relief. Dezalleena took the distraction as her cue to move, slipping out from her hidey-hole into the light. The hero was briefly startled as to her intentions until he noticed the main entrance left wide open and unguarded following Zorran and Borri's haphazard summoning.

Link perched on tenterhooks as the handmaiden crept nervously for the doorway, her knuckles white as she clutched at her dress to prevent herself from tripping. As he watched her progress towards escape, their three opponents started a new debate over what had just happened as they crouched in a circle round the fallen platter.

"What in Hyrules name was that?!" Borri started incredulously

Zorran started to babble almost feverishly his voice significantly higher than a minute ago. "I saw sparks, sparks mean magic right. Right! I mean it could…"

Borri groaned "Don't start all that again mate, now is not the time for one of your supernatural conspiracies"

"Actually, now is the perfect time! Think about it. Mysterious disappearing food, strange sounds, objects flying. Sounds just like a case from Madame Safi's…"

"You really shouldn't read that mad old coots tripe column!" Borri snorted, with a slightly baffling combination of derision and worry.

"Mad old coot! Tripe!" Zorran protested indignantly, clearly wounded at the slight to his clearly admire Madam Safi. He was about to launch into to more defense of her, when a roar from the demon cook, apoplectic with rage, effectively neutered him. Even Link was drawn away from his vigil of the escaping handmaiden to look across to the ballistic boulder of a man.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Romah exploded, gesticulating like a demented windmill, nearly spearing the two guards with the poker with wild swings. In the immediate light of the lively flame dancing next to him, his eyes seemed to glow as though he really was a demon. Unfortunately for the "demon", any hope for an imposing image was undercut by his display of impotent and almost infantile ranting and raving, like baby Talo when he had his favourite stick taken away.

Link was fast coming to the impression that, while he should still fear the consequences of getting caught, he certainly shouldn't have any fear at all of those trying to catch him. He had come to suspect that, for all his impressive stature and wild-eyed madness, Master Romah was a man of great bluster but little bite and his poker was just for show.

The fire flickered, the men bickered and Link found himself suppressing a snigger at the sight. He turned back to the main entrance to see that Dezalleena had successfully slipped away. One damsel saved. With the knowledge that he was no longer responsible for the safety of the handmaiden, he felt a great weight lift from his shoulders and the heady thrill of danger combined with that victory suddenly elevated him to a state of elation. Now he just needed to save himself.

He gave a hasty glance back to his opponents to find the cook still raving and very much occupied. he concluded his best shot at escaping was to follow the handmaidens simple plan of "sneak out the main door when no one is looking." Dropping down stealthily into the dark recess between the table and the wall, where the shadows still held their strangle hold, Link retrieved his hat and was about to make for the exit when, rather worryingly, his opponents appeared to reach an accord and organise themselves.

"Good, now that that's out of the way…" Master Romah growled "perhaps you two can demonstrate why you deserve your positions in the grand army of Hyrule by…"

"Err, we don't have positions, we're just grunts"

"Even grunts must require a certain level of competency and discipline…" The cook hissed through gritted teeth trying to avoid another explosion. "and I expect you to show it by following these very simple tasks. Zorran you will patrol the room and search under ever table, starting at this end and working across…"

"But…" Zorran started.

"No arguing! Borri, you will go over to the dessert tables over there and check ever platter. if any of them are empty then that proves there is a thief. You are to then do as I ordered Zorran, however working from that end back towards our current position. Is that clear?"

"Well technically as we're military you can't…" Borri attempted to interject

"Is that clear?!" Romah growled, holding up the searing poker for extra motivation.

"Yes, Master Romah." "Absolutely Master Romah."

Link, who had been listening intently to this exchange, ducked to prone, pressed up against the chilly uneven stone floor as Borri turned and sloped his way. Skulking in the dark narrow gap between the table and wall, he found himself uncomfortably limited in both manoeuvrability and visibility, only able to watch the boots of his opponents as they moved through the forest of table legs. This view was obscured further by the reflecting light of the dancing orange flames on the stone floor that when viewed this low to the ground created an almost mirage like effect.

With Borri's footsteps fast approaching and the realisation that not even the shadows could conceal him from such close scrutiny, Link was forced to commit to a momentary retreat. Twisting and wriggling in the confined space, he was able to reverse his direction and he began to slither towards the back of the kitchen, just as to heavy steel boots pulled up to the table he had just been hunkered behind.

As he squeezed away from the guard, like a snail caught in a waterpipe, he could hear the clinking of the inspection of the platters, hoping they would buy time for him to reach the other end. The tables towards the rear of the kitchen were still shrouded in darkness and for his newly formulated plan to work he'd need to be able to wait without being easily spotted.

He was halfway there when Borri triumphantly called out "Aha, looks like we've got three empty platters!"

"THREE! The thief usually only takes one… unless… It would seem the thief's got themselves an accomplice."

"Either that or his appetite's tripled!" The guard quipped drolly..

"Enough! Start you sweep of the tables." Growled the cook. "Oh, and don't even think about taking so much as a bite for yourself!"

Crap! He could be close! Link twisted to note his opponents' positions and was instantly grateful for the standard soldiers' armour as he watched Borri struggling laboriously to crouch sufficiently to look beneath the table, the heavy steel protesting, reminiscent of rusted gate hinges. That would certainly work in his favour along with the guard's foolish choice not to remove his helmet. Nevertheless, he wanted to make sure he had time, so, producing the forth bone from his pocket, he waited for Borri to rise to his feet, before chucking it right where the man had just been looking.

The distraction worked and Link reached the rear most table on his row, untouched by either the sunlight or glow of the fire. He could now undertake the next part of his brand new and improved escape plan, which involved sneaking across to the next row of tables and waiting for Borri, counting on the fact that the guard seemed to be following his orders to an unhelpfully literal degree, fixating entirely on the one row he was searching. Link would simply wait for him to pass and then slip behind him and back to his hiding place against the wall, safe in the knowledge that Borri wouldn't think of checking the same place twice. From there on it should be relatively straightforward to just creep back up towards the main doorway, create another commotion and then waltz out to freedom. Couldn't be much simpler…

"Could be quicker though!" Link thought irritably, after setting up his ambush position, only to find that his opposition was still three tables down from him. He began to wonder just how long he had been trapped in this kitchen. The adrenaline bursts, followed by dreary lulls had render his judgement less than useless and he found himself having to restrain the urge to shift restlessly as he waited, feeling the atmosphere grow increasingly warm and smoky as the fire heated the room.

He was running short on patience by the time the guard finally arrived and he could mercifully begin the last leg of his bid for freedom. Picking the opportune moment when Borri crouched to peer into shadowy emptiness once more, he slithered round him and back into the crevice.

Impatience overruling caution, Link abandoned his snail technique, opting instead for a monkey like approach, shimmying along on hands and feet, his eyes peaking over the table tops keeping a watch on his opponents. Reaching the end of the line, his exit now less than 20 steps away, he prepared his last bone for the ultimate distraction.

A dramatic gasp suddenly rent the quiet murky air and the hero hastily dropped to the ground, thinking one of the adversaries may have glimpsed him.

"I've. Found. IT!" Zorran cried with a mixture of wonder and fear. Link peeped out to check whether he should be bolting or staying and instantly relaxed upon noticing the reason for the proclamation.

"What is it?! What is it you've found?!" Master Romah barrelled over as fast as his legs could carry him, his ponderous foot falls echoing like thunder in the rafters. His booming voice was laced with urgency and a hint of excitement, excitement that quickly died at the sight before him.

"It's a sign! an omen! It's a…" The guard held the mystical item aloft.

"IT'S A PORK RIB, YOU MORON!" Boomed the cook, his hard-won state of stability cracking in the face of such abject stupidity.

"Yes, the bone of a dead animal, the remains of a forgotten spirit…" Zorran's voice quaked.

"And the last remnant of a once great dish! Yet more evidence of the thief in our midst. Just like this one." Romah produced one of his own.

Link decided to take advantage of his opponent's preoccupation and tip toed towards the door.

"You found one too?" Zorran asked tremulously.

"Yeah, found it over by one of the ovens."

"Hey, I found one as well." Borri stomped over.

"What? Where?"

"Over by the desserts"

"Three bones! It must be a sign. A SIGN! Give me your bones!" There was the sound of a scuffle but Link didn't risk glancing back as he was so close to escape.

"Get off me, you idiot!"

"We must figure out the message if we're to save ourselves! We must…" Zorran shouted feverishly.

"Shut up!"

"I'm sorry Master Romah, He's had these… "episodes" ever since the twilight invasion." Link had just slipped out the doorway when Borri's comment, casting off the guard's usual flippant meathead attitude for genuine concern, brought the hero to a halt just out of sight, surprisingly shaken.

Then Zorran's cries faded to quivering whimpers as he repeated desperately "We must… We must… we must" broken by the occasional ragged breath.

"It's alright, you're safe. They're just bones, just bones, just bones… you're safe, you're safe" Borri said with what, to Link, seemed to be an entirely foreign softness.

"No, no, no we're not safe. We must…" There was the sound of wood grating on stone, closely followed by the clatter of an armour-clad body sinking slowly to the floor.

Borri continued to comfort his friend with a confident calmness that could only be from experience and soon the whimpering died. Master Romah, from his fiery rage, had fallen inexplicably silent since Zorran's "episode" had begun. When he finally spoke, it was devoid of the rabid fury that had gripped him prior, replaced with awkward yet sincere sympathy as he enquired hesitantly. "What, err… what happened to him?"

"He was… well he's one of the only members of the guard who actually faced the shadow beasts… and came out alive and… in one piece, at least physically. Many of our friends weren't so lucky." Link's stomach lurched and he slumped heavily against the cold stone of the corridor, staring at the candlelit clock as he absorbed what he was hearing.

There was a long pause in which the only sound heard was the crackling of the fire. "I'm… sorry" the massive cook mumbled feebly.

There was another moment of emptiness broken when Borri asked "Hey, err, got anything to drink?"

"Why? you're on duty, and I took you as very by the book."

"Yeah, usually I am, but our shift is almost over, if not already finished and… drink helps to calm him down and if there's one thing we don't do in the army, it's drink alone. So… how about it?"

"Well… I can't offer you anything destined for the royal table but…" Romah paused again in consideration before releasing a huff "Ah, what the heck! I have my own private stash of premium brandy. You can have a swig of that."

"Thanks, but also do you mind putting that poker away before you have one of our eyes out or something?"

"Oh sorry" Came the gruff reply, succeeded by the cook's signature earthquake-esque rumble as he moved and disposed of his deadly weapon with a sigh.

There was more motion and Link soon picked up the creaking of a cupboard door and the chinking of glass. "Now as I said, this is high quality stuff and very hard to come by so I wont accept you two just necking it."

"Err, Thanks. We'll keep that in mind" Borri said, voice carrying a hint of wariness. "So um, what brought on this sudden change of heart, I mean, not 5 minutes ago you were raging at us, calling us both morons and brandishing a poker at us. Now you're offering us your best premium brandy. What's the deal? I mean, we didn't even find the thief for you."

There was a moment of lingering stillness punctuated by the uninterrupted chatter of the dancing flame.

When the gruff cook eventually replied it was marked with a deep heaving breath. "Let's just say that the twilight left a mark on me too, and I lost a friend too."

"Do you know anything about what actually happened with the twilight?" Borri asked.

"Not really. You?"

"No, in fact that's why Zorran's become so obsessed with the supernatural. He's been searching for answers. I don't think what he's finding is helping though. Rumour has it though that a lot of people have gotten similar ideas. Madam Safi's so called "mystic insights" have become incredibly popular since the Twilight invasion… incident… whatever you want to call it. You know, the chosen hero who was apparently responsible for saving the kingdom has joined the guard."

"So I've heard. I actually helped prepare a meal for him when he had an audience with her royal highness. He actually insisted on having his compliments relayed to the kitchen staff for our fantastic work. One of the only guests to have ever done so." Romah spoke with a swell of pride and gratitude. On hearing this, Link racked his brain to try and recall himself doing such a thing. He certainly did compliment the marvellous cooking and even the service but he never stated any particular wish for them to be passed on. Had Zelda decided to pass it on for him? But why?

His attention was brought back as Borri snorted "Really, all the times I've met him he always seemed to have a stick up his arse about something. Don't get me wrong, I respect him and I happen to believe the claims of his heroism to be largely true. He just ain't a people person. I just wonder whether he's always been like that or whether he's got his own scars from the twilight. That's why none of us at the barracks ask him about it."

Link's mind was spinning from the multitude of revelations that been uncovered by their conversation and he would have wished to continue listening, however the sound of approaching footsteps from down the corridor signalled that it was time to make a swift exit. His eye's darted to the clock and he noted, to his relief, that he still had a fair bit of time to kill before his lectures on command. He'd certainly need it, so as to properly process all the information from what he'd just witnessed.

He slipped out into the bright sunlight of the gardens, sheltering his eyes from the glare with one hand and was about to return his hat to his head when he registered the dust all over it. Time to use the fountain again! A bell was ringing in his brain screaming for his attention but as it clearly wasn't a warning bell he ignored it. He had more urgent matters to attend to.

His feet carried him across the sun-drenched lawn towards the ornamental flower garden where the dramatic water feature, depicting the Goddess Nayru, resided at its centre, encircled by a narrow grass path and hemmed in by firework displays of colour from many flower beds. The majestic stone Goddess wore a long flowing dress that billowed out allowing tiny streams of trickle down the stone folds. In one hand she held a distinctive circular harp, while the other pressed a jug to her side, tipped just far forward enough to enable the endless stream of gurgling water that cascaded into the wide pool that surrounded her.

While he could probably do with some of her wisdom right now, having just had much of his understanding of his new comrades in arms turned on its head, that wasn't what he was here for. Link dunked his dusty hat unceremoniously into the pool and splashed it round for a moment, ruminating on the conversation he'd just overheard. Watching the ripples and swirls pulsing across the surface, he began to realise that his view of the world was just as out of focus as the fractured sun bobbing on the miniature sea.

Given his own key role in the events of the Twilight, Link had never really stopped to wonder just how much the average citizen knew of the calamity and what caused it. He knew that his friends back home knew little of such things but he'd assumed it was due to them being in a remote village. Now he'd discovered that many among the citizenry had little clue as to what really occurred or why, but from the sound of it, many of them were desperate for answers, no matter how far-fetched.

In his previous acquaintances with Zorran, he had dismissed the man as a somewhat obsessive eccentric and nothing more. With his past and its scars uncovered, Link saw someone not unlike himself, lost and drowning in the same underground cavern. Then there was the friend, the only one giving him a lifeline, Borri, characterised by Link initially as a thoughtless, careless meathead who didn't give a damn about anything, except maybe the rule book. It appeared that he would need to reassess that judgement from today onwards.

Even the cook, who he'd never seen before, had managed to completely overturn his preliminary charge of being a rabid animal by the end of his encounter. Indeed, could his erratic behaviour be explained as a parting gift from the twilight too. It seemed all too neat for three people all damaged by the horrific events would all happen upon one another, however it left him with only three possible conclusions to draw from it. Either he was seeing connections where there were none, he'd just witnessed a truly miraculous coincidence, or the twilight left its mark on countless more people than he'd ever considered. For all his desire to help those who suffer, how could he be so blind as to miss the signs of so many tormented souls, especially given his affinity for finding souls, spirits and what have you. Had he been so fixated on his own demons that he'd completely missed the wood for the trees?

Link scowled at his distorted reflection, which returned it, twisted and contemptable, appearing much older with sunken eyes and wrinkles pervading gaunt cheeks. The vision of a faded world-weary warrior who's lost any sense of joy or caring. A man with a whole forests worth of sticks up his arse. Was that to be his future?!

NO! He refused to accept such a fate. He removed his hat from the water and began wringing it vigorously, as if trying to squeeze the negative thoughts from his mind. He WAS going to find joy again! He WAS going to make the most of his new life and he WAS going to help as many in need as possible… including the Princess!

The bell that had been constantly ringing since he emerged into the green outdoors suddenly made sense. Among the concoction of floral fragrances that drifted to his highly sensitive nose, was a unique perfume that, while different from the one he'd previously known her to wear, was unmistakably Zelda. She was here!

It should have been obvious given that Dezalleena had carried a strong trace of it, yet possessed a strange metallic overtone to her scent that the princess lacked. There was no mistaking her scent though, even with a different perfume.

If his nose was right with its directions then it would seem that the rumours were true. She really did enjoy spending her time hidden away among the green alcoves of the maze. Hunting her down within the leafy labyrinth would be a cinch and he could finally, hopefully, get some answers.

He was about to set off when, glancing at his reflection again he was suddenly struck by a pang of self-consciousness as he registered the dust and cobwebs remaining in his hair. It would be practically a crime to meet the princess with that dirty mop. After a minute's furious raking and scrubbing that produced little effect other than to make his hair look like a porcupine that's been sat on, he was left with just two choices; leave his hair as the cobweb filled mess that it was, or dunk his head in the pool and accept whatever monstrosity emerged. With all the deliberation of a drunkard offered a lifetime free tab, Link plumped for the latter, as wet hair was likely the less of the two evils. It wasn't like she'd never seen him looking stupid before.

The result, as he pulled his head from the water, wasn't half as bad as he had envisioned, certainly not laugh inducing. It was somewhat dishevelled but that was an inevitable conclusion, and it was miles from what he now simply referred to as "The Bernard". His hat was unfortunately unwearable as it was still damp but his appearance was at least passable… if the princess even cared. His earlier worries began to resurface and lurking gremlins of apprehension awoke from their slumber to test his resolve. Would she welcome him or cast him off?

There was only one way of finding out, and he wasn't going to let this worry shackle him like his other demons. Whether or not their brief friendship would live on or die out, he would know sooner rather than later.

Trusting his nose, Link marched with determination into the maze with absolute confidence that this royal amusement would be a cakewalk. Confidence soon evaporated, supplanted by growing frustration as he met with naught but dead ends, colourful blooms, and statues, many of whom seemed to have forgotten the majority of their clothing. He had been trying to gain access to the mazes centre, where his nose insisted the princess was, however he was thwarted at every turn. Having apologised for baring witness to yet another nubile maid's bare breast and wondering how such uptight nobility even tolerated such obscenity within castle grounds, he found himself fixated on the nipple… and not for the reason most would think. He was a man of principle after all. He knew that spending his time staring at watermelons was both improper and impractical, regardless of many soldiers who professed how fun it could be… a sentiment that he'd probably end up having to agree with… once he caught a glimpse of the real thing. Anyway, he was getting slightly off topic! Back to the statue's suspicious nipple.

Link surveyed the immediate area to double check his hunch. He was as close to the seemingly closed off inner sanctum of the centre as he'd been able to get, with a section of stone wall, unique to this particular spot, separating him from his target. Behind him was nothing but winding pathways, while ahead stood the lewd stone maid with the poorly positioned robe with the wall next to it. Another examination of the nipple confirmed that he hadn't been imagining what looked like a heat haze rising from what should be cool stonework. He reached out to touch it, tentative in his approach, partly for the risk of being burnt and partly due to the crudeness of such an action.

He pressed the nipple… and waited.

He was about to lambast himself for being an idiot when a low rumble caught his attention and the wall shifted, creating a small opening, not wide enough for a proper doorway, but just enough for a single person to fit through. Link slipped through the gap, which closed up again the instant he was safely on the other side.

Before he could ponder whether the door would have closed with him still in it, he was greeted by a familiar bell-like voice to his left, calm yet ringing with genuine joy at his presence. "Link, what a pleasure to see you!"

Link cast a brief eye across his surroundings before turning his gaze to her direction. The secluded sanctum, almost a perfect square in shape, was bordered by various displays of rare and delicate orchids, along with more standard but no less attractive flowers such as roses, while the centre was marked with a smaller version of the fountain in the ornamental garden. A lone cherry tree, the only in the garden, stood guard in a corner, its branches hanging protectively over a small bench next to it, it's delicate pink blossoms in full bloom, creating a blanket of dappled sunlight beneath. It would seem that the princess had taken to feeding the birds, as in front of the bench a multitude of small songbirds squabbled over scraps of unidentifiable food.

The princess herself sat, demure and elegant as ever, a book resting on her lap as she met his gaze with her classic veiled smile, yet he noticed, rather pleasingly, that she was having to restrain it, guessing by the corners of her lips twitching almost imperceptibly skywards. Something, however, was off about her image. Not in a negative way, just different. It did nothing to detract from her beauty, indeed these changes combined with the dappled light through the cherry blossom only served to enhance it. Gone were the braids that had always framed her face, instead joining the rest of her luscious locks flowing down her back with, he presumed, her characteristic braided end to keep it sleek and controlled. This, of course, exposed the full extent of her slender neck and her long pointy ears that were decorated with intricate earrings sparkling with pink rubies and diamonds. Her lips also been painted a lighter shade of pink and although it could have been a trick of the light, he could swear that her cheeks had been given a more prominent dash of rogue.

Her outfit, while in general concept the same as always, also reflected this theme of pink with it replacing the usual lavender on her dress, her white skirts and gloves remaining. The classic gold pauldrons had also substituted for smaller more intricate ones. These changes, united with the charmingly intimate sanctuary and the birds at her feet, all culminated in the quintessential image of your classic fairy tale princess; delicate, graceful and unapologetically feminine.

"Link is something wrong?" The fairy tale vision asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Oh goddesses, had he just been gawking?! "Ah, err… no your highness, not at all. Not at all. I was just surprised, you look… different." Link quickly recognised the wrinkling of her nose at his use of her title

"Hmm, so a simple change of outfits enough to render you speechless?" Zelda's eyes twinkled.

"Well no, it's just… not what I was expecting."

"and what DID you expect?"

Damn it. Of course that would be her response! With Zelda's continued coyness threatening to capsize the conversation before it even left harbour, Link had no choice but to face potentially turbulent waters with blunt honesty… within reason of course. "To be honest, I simply never envisioned you choosing something so…" He paused trying to think of something other than girly or feminine, both of which could be taken as criticism. Failing to find an alternative he went for what he deemed the less insulting. "… Feminine. Not to say that your other outfit wasn't feminine, but it had a sort of… sort of…"

"Regal strength?" Zelda suggested helpfully.

"yes that, where as your current appearance conjures up thoughts of a princess from old fairy tales. A damsel in distress who waits in a tower for a knight in shine armour to rescue her…"

"Well I did wait in a tower and was rescued by a dashing hero." the princess interjected wryly.

Link fought to keep the heat from his cheeks at the dashing hero tease and tried to set the subject back on track. "The point I'm trying to make is that I'd expect, given my experience of the nobles, that would be the last impression you'd wish to give them. You know, the whole "sensitive sensibilities" schtick. I mean…" He tailed off at the sight of her expression.

There was a pause as Zelda regarded him with a lopsided smirk and the "dashing" hero was suddenly worried he'd just placed his head in the dragon's mouth. Fortunately, the charming twinkle remained in her sapphire eyes.

"Oh courteous hero, I am touched by your concern for my image and admire such an astute observation from one not versed in politics, however there are two things you fail to consider. Firstly, the majority of the court have known me since I was young and have already formed their opinions of me, which are unlikely to change regardless of my choice of attire, and those who's do, aren't the type worth associating oneself with. Secondly but far more importantly, I may be a princess but I am also a lady who relishes in fine and unashamedly feminine fashion, and I will not relinquish such joys to save face in front of some pompous backwards aristocrats. I will naturally compromise for official state events or visits from foreign dignitaries and I would not besmirch the name of practicality should the situation require it, however contrary to some ladies who live under the delusion that aping men is the only way to be seen equal, I much prefer a dress to trousers and do not frown on riding side saddle!"

There was the briefest of pauses as she released her frown that had built up over the course of her little rant, ardent yet dignified as only she could pull off. "Oh, I apologise, I've somewhat drifted from the topic at hand. Not two hours ago, I was caught in an intense debate with a certain single-minded captain of the guard, and I fear I did not have the chance to state my case adequately. Needless to say, the sole opinions I truly value when it comes to my appearance are those of my friends, so… what do you think?"

Link found himself once again floored by the princess's capability to succinctly bullseye every possible question he could think of. He was so swept up by Zelda's speech, in fact, that it took him a few seconds to register that he was expected to answer. The question was how?

He had little to no experience when it came to complimenting ladies on their looks and as a result his vocabulary in that regard could be said to be drier than a priest's throat at an ale house. He had just three words that sprung readily to mind; pretty, beautiful and gorgeous. Pretty didn't seem to do her justice, while gorgeous made it sound like he was coming on too strong… Coming on too strong?! Why did his bloody brain have to settle on that phrase! it's not like he has any actual thoughts of courting her.

Beautiful was the blandest and arguably safest option, and yet was also very fitting. The princess was undeniably beautiful. It was a well-known fact, some might say Indisputable even.

"Well I err, I think you look… beautiful… although I have the strangest feeling that pink would suit you even better with blonde hair." Link was shocked by his own boldness, though he braced himself for reprisal.

"Hmmm, an interesting proposal. I may have to test that theory with an illusion spell at some time. You did seem rather cautious in your compliment, if you do not mind me saying. Why? I value your honesty Link. It's something I get to experience so rarely. Please don't discard it."

"No Zelda, I meant what I said. I just wasn't sure whether you'd bring up some rule that man can only compliment a lady if they're courting them."

"Ah, I see. You were trying to avoid another accidental marriage proposal." The princess chuckled. "Well rest assured, you will not be forcibly marched to the altar for complimenting me. I greatly appreciate your compliment, though I would advise you to work on your delivery for when you do start courting a lady. Also, many men, as far as I've experienced, lack any variety in their flattery. Widen your vocabulary and women will flock to you, just like these birds."

Was the royal princess of Hyrule just giving him courting advice?! As if this day couldn't get any more bizarre. Link held back his incredibly dour response that he doubted he'd ever get a chance with the right lady, instead opting for a simple nod in reply.

Zelda began to shuffle along the bench towards the blossoming cherry tree before patting the space next to her. "Come Link, sit with me and let us dispense with such frivolous things and we can discuss what really matters, namely, how are you settling in to life at the castle?"

He knew better by now than to argue with her command. There was probably even a paragraph in the guard handbook that such an act was a dismissible offence so he complied, albeit in a slightly bashful manner, tiptoeing round the birds still feeding and planting himself on the other end of the bench leaving space for a third possible sitter, even Lord Halshaw, to slip between them.

Zelda shook her head and tutted. "Link, am I really that terrifying? Not but a moment ago you called me beautiful. We are alone and I will not be scoring you for court etiquette, indeed if I see any I'll be deducting points from your friend score." Her quip, while trying to be jovial, carried a tinge of annoyance and hurt.

Link shuffled to within arm's reach and then stopped, hoping this would be enough to earn her approval. "Better" Zelda spoke, seemingly satisfied. "So…" she began only for her gaze to drift up to his hair, still damp from it's earlier wash. "Actually, before we leave the topic of appearances behind, where is your hat and what happened to your hair?"

Of course she would notice! How could he answer and not arouse further curiosity from the princess? Surprisingly the perfect response sprang to mind, a rare spark of wit during the conversation itself, rather than the usual routine of arriving just after the moment slipped by. "Well I was on guard duty so long I started collecting cobwebs, however I doubt the court would approve of me naked so I simply dusted off my tunic and gave my hair and hat a wash."

Zelda tittered with amusement even as she eyed him dubiously. "Then please explain how you came to be here if you had to wash. Not that I am displeased with your company, quite the opposite in fact, but the barracks is on the other side of the castle and I was not aware of any duty on your schedule that would bring you to this area. Moreover, I'm rather curious as to how you managed to find me?"

"I have my ways" Link replied, giving his best attempt at being enigmatic and mysterious. It took a few seconds for him to pick up the full implication of her words, but when they finally clicked He couldn't resist blurting in surprise. "Wait, you know my schedule?!"

"Naturally, I wanted to see how you were getting on and had hoped to find an opportunity to meet you sooner. Alas both my work and the council conspired to prevent that from happening and given your coyness to answer my question, I can thank only fate for the fortune of this miraculous rendezvous."

"So, you've actually been trying to meet me? You're not mad at me?"

Zelda seemed genuinely thrown by such a suggestion. "Mad… why would I be mad at you Link? How could I be mad at you?" she said, utterly bewildered. "If anything, I was worried that you would resent me?"

This left Link just as befuddled as he'd left the princess. "W…What? Why?!" he exclaimed, louder than intended.

"Because I have brought you into a life away from all you know. One of rigidity, monotony and ceaseless duty, surrounded by strangers, many with less than noble backgrounds or intents and trapped in a castle that, to a man like you, could feel like a prison." Zelda turned her gaze to the last bird cleaning up the final scraps of whatever they'd been feeding on and he visibly caught her shoulders slumping.

Silence fell as Link absorbed this confession. As the moment dragged on the princess began to pick at her fine white gloves. This wouldn't do at all. He wasn't about to leave Zelda feeling guilty. "Now let me make one thing perfectly clear princess. I made this choice of my own accord and you weren't shy about what I was getting into, so if anyone deserves the blame for it, that would be me. My choice, my responsibility and to be honest, while these first weeks have been bumpy, I do not regret my decision. In fact, to answer your earlier question I'm settling in very well, thank you." To say he was settling in "very well" may have been exaggerating but if it helped cheer her up, a little white lie wouldn't hurt.

"it's kind of you to say that, but it has not yet been a month. In time that may change. I fear that… in a rare moment of weakness I may have applied undue pressure on you to accept the position."

What undue pressure could she possibly be referring to? Her collapse?! Surely, she couldn't be blaming herself for that?! "Zelda, that's not your fault, if anything it's on me for giving you that letter."

Zelda's eyes, wide with confusion, shot up to meet his. "Pardon? No, no Link, I'm grateful to you for delivering it… wait, why would that effect your decision?"

"I was worried about you and from your farewell speech you made it sound like should I reject I would never see you again. I had to be sure you were alright."

"So, you threw away your old life of freedom and a chance at potential happiness simply to check up on me?!" The Princess was aghast.

"Hey, you had just almost fainted and you would have done, had I not caught you in my arms, which by the way, makes that the second time in three days I had to save you from falling! Besides, I never said that was the main reason I took the job. In truth, I'd been turning over what you'd said to me on that moonlight night outside my house, that I was no longer who I once was, and I couldn't deny it. That life had lost its joy. I needed a purpose, a duty and that is exactly what you offered me…" Link realised he'd already said more than he'd intended but decided he might as well finish, as the thought of her feeling guilty for this was unbearable and would likely lead him to the same. "I'm not saying I had no doubts or reservations, but in the end, I decided that perhaps a little more rigidity and order was what I needed."

Zelda still looked reserved as though she wished to dig deeper, so Link resorted to a flattering little white lie, well at least he told himself it was a lie, to hopefully put the matter to rest. "If you had any further influence on my decision, it was only in the chance to see you again… without having to breaking into the castle, of course. Not to check up on you, just to meet with you, a good friend. I'd call that quite the bonus."

Even the rouge already painted on her cheeks couldn't entirely conceal the fresh layer of pink added by his final comment and for a second her smile was almost bashful, before her veil reasserted itself. Nevertheless, the hero could count his reassurance as a success and his heart lightened at the thought as well as the knowledge that his previous worries of her potential ire were entirely unfounded.

After a minute composing herself, with nothing but the trickling of the fountain and the buzzing of bees as their soundscape, the dappled sunlight flickering on her gold and sapphire circlet, Zelda found her voice again. "Thank you Link, that's… one of the kindest things anyone's ever said to me."

She reached out her gloved hand and placed it on his, resting next him on the bench, and Link could swear a bolt of lightning had just leapt up his arm and set fire to his face. It was certainly burning bright red and unlike the princess, he had nothing to hide it. The luminous glow of happiness from her eyes was enough to blind him and to save his brain from melting, he turned to the fountain.

The seconds passed and contact was broken, the princess following his example and admiring the dancing reflection of the sun on the surface of the fountain. There was both a sense of déjà vu and a strangely comforting familiarity to the situation. The scenery may have been different but it reminded him of the moment of peace they'd shared that moonlight night, admiring the view… just before she'd passed out and almost fallen off the ledge. Link shot a glance across at her just to double check he wouldn't need to save her again. Fortunately, she was still very much conscious.

The strange familiarity he felt though, as if this scenario had been played out many times prior, lost in faded memories that aren't truly his, dogged and yet somehow consoled him. He watched the main water flow from the fountain, reflecting on all that had happened and wondering whether to let this peace continue or risk breaking it with the mystery that's concerned him ever since their last meeting.

"Princess…" He began with some resignation "you asked me earlier why I thought you might be mad at me…" blue orbs dashed from the rippling surface and anchored their attention upon his face. "well it's related to that letter…"

"Link, I've already…" the young royal tried to interject but Link didn't let her.

"I know, Zelda, I know now. You're not mad at me, at least not for me giving it to you. That doesn't change the fact though that you collapsed, and don't brush me off with the same excuse you used with Basil. You… you had me really worried Zelda."

"I appreciate your concern but it is nothing for you to threat over. I am fine."

"It was the letter though, wasn't it?"

The princess nodded, her countenance losing the glow that had been so bright, until he'd chosen to dig too deep into a matter that was probably none of his business. "It brought back some painful memories." Zelda spoke, voice hushed with sombre sorrow but also something else beneath.

"I… I'm sorry princess. I shouldn't have brought it up. Let's…" Link's apology was cut short with a piercing look from Zelda.

"No Link, I told you before that sharing can be the first step to healing past wounds. Well this is something I have never shared. It was never the right time, never the right person. I believe that now is perhaps… the right time and… you are the right person."

Link was stunned. How could she have such faith in him when she knew him so little. "Princess, I… I don't know what to say."

"Well then I'll do the talking." Zelda said with a rueful smile. "One thing I ask of you, dear hero, is promise me that whatever I say here… it stays between us."

"You have my word…" His answer was as reassuring and sincere as he could ever hope to be, but in an effort to lift the mood he couldn't resist added "Of course, if that's not enough for you, you could always through in a potential charge of treason for a little extra motivation."

Zelda responded with a half-hearted chuckle "I'm sure that will not be necessary but I'll keep it in mind for the future." His lame quip did little to elevate her spirits, her eyes down cast.

"Zelda, you can count on me… I'm not one to talk" Link tried once more to reassure her.

Her gaze rose up to meet him and he knew instantly that his message had gotten through by the warmth emanating from it. "I know… and thank you."

"You're welcome. I may not be wise like you but I know the value of trust and could not forgive myself for losing yours. Besides I've considered all our meetings to be just between us. You know… confi… confi… oh what is that word, I can't remember"

"Confidential, Link. hmm, wisdom comes in many forms and I think you'll find you are more knowledgeable than you realise." Zelda paused and took a deep calming breath as her brows descended, weighed down with sombre resignation. "Now I believe I offered you some explanation of my collapse and the letter you gave me. The letter told me Alfonzo had met you directly and asked for you to deliver it. Did he offer any explanation of his intentions, or hints as to its contents?"

Link was perplexed? Was she asking simply to clarify how much he knew or was she looking to see whether he'd practiced… what did his instructor call it… due diligence? Had the seemingly jovial old man had a sinister agenda? The possibility that he'd allowed such a thing turned his stomach, but all he could do was answer her honestly. "No, in fact he made me promise not to read it, as he said it was personal, for you and you alone. The one thing he did tell me was that he'd tried to send you others before but he never received a reply."

"Did he tell you who he was? Who he was to ME?"

"Well he said he was a member of the royal guard up until about ten years ago and that he was close to you and your father."

"He was more than close. I called him Uncle Fonz' and he called me Zelly." A mist fell over her gaze as she spoke and she turned back to the fountain as she continued. "My father saw him as a brother and treated him as such, at least in private. This was not well received by the courts, though I was too young to comprehend the petty and despicable reasoning behind it at the time. Nothing came of it, however, as no one defy my father. I knew father's tremendous kindness but the court knew his temper. Things were peaceful… happy."

She bit her lip "and then… It all fell apart… two days after my tenth birthday, my father fell ill, and so began, what I foolishly told myself, aged seventeen, was the longest month of my life." With a click of the tongue she shook her head ruefully, muttering, more to herself than to him. "Oh how little I knew of the torment that was yet to come." She took another steadying breath, her tone remarkably placid, yet unable to completely conceal the pain that lurked beneath. "In that month I watched my father, once so healthful and bold, fade with each passing day until, after twenty-nine days of suffering, he passed away in the night. I'd never known my mother. She'd passed from my birth. I had no other blood relatives but my parents. By age ten I had lost all my blood family. All I had left was my surrogates and it seemed fate was conspiring to wrench them from me too."

Link knew what was coming next… or at least he thought he did.

"A month after my father's passing, a week after his funeral, Alfonzo was sent off as part of a scouting party to patrol the northern border. The following week I was informed by a droning near-sighted courtier that Cpt. Alfonzo had "made a true sacrifice for the safety of the kingdom" of which I… should be proud." Bitterness oozed from her last words as she spat them like molten missiles from the mouth of a volcano.

Shock bypassed his rational brain and Link blurted "Wait what?! Then who did I meet at…"

"Oh, you met the real Alfonzo and indeed I believe he already gave you the true story. A little girl, however, was sold a lie. Three "noble" council members decided to tell a little girl who'd just lost her father, that the only other soul she'd called family had perished… and why?!" Zelda give a derisive laugh. "to save me the distress of concerning myself with a delicate but necessary decision, made for the sake of my standing, but which I wouldn't understand!"

Zelda's jaw and hands clenched as she continued, somehow capable of maintaining her flow and restraining her voice as she ranted with ever increasing momentum. "They spared no expense supporting their fiction, going so far as to grant him a hero's funeral, a month after my father's! I had lost everyone I held dear, with the one exception of my nursemaid but even she was moved on within a year for "not supplying sufficient focus to my education", an absurd notion. Even long after the council had forgotten about their narrative of Alfonzo, the fallen hero, simply neglecting to pay a groundsman enough to tend to his grave, I was there trying to keep his memory alive. I spent ten years tending the grave of a man who was still alive. It must have been such a joke to them. The stupid gullible little princess, visiting an empty monument to a fable! Then, a decade later, I finally discover the deception, not through my own intelligence, but due to extraordinary cosmic coincidence that you happened to meet the man at Telma's bar and agreed, out of the kindness of your heart, to trust this stranger to deliver his letter. An understated letter, that spoke so little of his own plight, instead showing the same unwavering caring and compassion that he had always given me, his primary concern my safety. As I wasted my days preserving a meaningless shrine to the duplicity and pettiness of the elite, my ever faithful and loving Uncle was forced to endure ten years of poverty and misery, and all because I let childhood grief blind me. What would father have thought."

The princess fell silent, hanging her head, her circlet that had shone like a halo in the afternoons dappled rays, no longer catching the light. The last of the birds had departed leaving just the bees and the miniature goddess to keep them company. Her eyes were slammed shut as he chest rose and fell in a slow and laboured fashion as she tried to find her calm. Link watched as the usually confident young royal shrank into herself, gathering her hands into her lap, her fingers weaving together in attempted consolation, as her shoulders sagged beneath years of pain, much of which he suspected remained unexpressed, and the inescapable weight of her responsibilities. His heart bled for her and his mind was a maelstrom, whirling as he struggled to comprehend the full implications of her tragic tale. The emotions he'd seen embedded in her gaze when she'd collapsed all made sense and yet this entire conversation had only served to raise even more questions.

That was all pushed aside as the same inexplicable feral instinct to protect her tugged hard on his thoughts, and insisted with untameable fervour to do something, anything to try and bring her some sense of comfort. So strong was this urge that he found himself considering embracing Zelda, although that idea was quickly quashed by fears of how she'd react. He deliberated a gentle hand resting on her shoulder however they were already weighed down with her pain and her pauldrons. He didn't want to place more pressure on her burdened shoulders and he wondered whether she'd even notice his touch through the ornate gold armour.

As the mournful atmosphere appeared to possess the tree above, making it sink over their heads, Link decided to act. He reached out and rested a hand calmly against her bare arm just below the pauldron. He considered relinquishing when it was met with a shiver, but kept it in place as there was no recoil from it. Instead she moved into it gently and she turned to look upon him, her eyes moist yet lacking any tears. Perhaps she had shed them all long ago. His own connected with hers and he endeavoured to convey his sympathies and promise her that she was not alone. But a look would not be enough. He had to find the words, and as his brain was rather behind, his heart would have to suffice.

"Zelda, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it must have been like to suffer through that and I would not wish to… I may never truly understand what you went through and I cannot change the past but know that if there's anything I can do to help ease your burdens, anything at all, then all you have to do is ask… When we talked that night outside my house, you said you'd help me, but you never asked me for anything in return. Well, as a friend, I can tell you I refuse that deal… because… because if you're gonna help me, there's no way I'm not returning the favour! And let me start by telling you… you shouldn't blame yourself! You were just a child, a child that was lied to by cowardly snakes… and to think I'd considered apologising to that prick Halshaw…"

Link may not have been an oratorical master, but with each ardent appeal, no matter how bungled in delivery, the glow that had graced the princess, until he'd fatefully chosen to pry, returned anew and slightly more vibrant. By the time he'd started to lose steam, the sweet subtle quirk of her lips had reappeared along with her prim princessly posture complete with shining gold halo. The rejuvenation of the young confident lady he knew was miraculous, however there remained a trace of the bitterness of her rant in her voice as she interrupted. "Link, words cannot express how much I appreciate your sentiments and admire your earnestness truly, however I must correct you on your last statement, if for no other reason than to save a prick from being strangled and a hero from being manacled. As despicable as Lord Halshaw has become, he wasn't involved in that particular deception. I have already demonstrated a small slice of my father's legendary temper in addressing the perpetrators, and have left them in no doubt where they stand. It's just unfortunate there was no particular law they had broken that could allow me to imprison them."

"Really, after that. But you're the princess! Surely you can…"

"Being royal doesn't give you free license to imprison whoever you wish, or at least, it hasn't for the last two hundred years. A law must be proven to have been broken for me to pass a sentence and I, unlike them, am not so conniving and despicable as to frame them for something. Be careful Link, for there are many slimy creatures that ooze their way around the castle and the court in particular. Not that all among the ranks of the court and the council are so treacherous but as a general rule; never apologise to a noble. Those who deserve one will not require it or if they do, will at least give a fair trial, while those who don't deserve one will skip the trial and move straight to the execution."

"So where does Lord Halshaw rank between those?"

"Would it shock you to know that, until roughly three years ago when he sank into a bottle of gin, I would have described the man as my most amicable adversary. We've rarely ever seen eye to eye, however he did actually show me a modicum of respect. That all changed when some unknown catalyst drove him to drink and he began a steady descent to becoming what he is now, a pitiable man, but not worthy of such courtesies as apologies. He did, after all, try to smear both of our reputations and use the threat of scandal to try and leverage power over me, regarding those with whom I choose to acquaint myself."

"What was his problem with me though?! Was it really my low social status? my poor etiquette? My…"

"No, Link, not that he approves of your humble roots, however, the main reason why he attacked you when we met at Ordon, why he tried to slander both of us, is the same reason Alfonzo was sent away. Many on the council see any connections I have, that cannot be controlled by them, to be a threat. Halshaw saw our connection and sought to sever it. His criticisms were simply pretence. His hope was likely to goad you into hitting him, so as to then paint you as violent and therefore, unsuitable for me to associate with. Luckily you didn't buckle and with your new position and a few good words from me and my network, your reputation is stable. Thus, those who play against me have taken a different tack, and have been pulling the strings to engineer our schedules so that we never cross paths."

This avalanche of revelations left Link's mind reeling for the nth time in so many hours, his cranium working overtime to compile an inquisition to untangle his befuddlement. From the intimations of her news, it would seem that he was already wrapped in a web of courtly intrigue without even realising. It would go some way to explaining his less than practical guard postings and his oddly sporadic timetable while many of his fellow soldiers had a pretty solid, unchanging routine each week. This dynamite discovery threatened to blow away any feelings of being comfortable at his new home and he began to wonder whether the princess was right and that he would soon live to regret his decision. He was fine protecting himself with prowess in combat with sword and shield, but a war of words, deception and manipulation couldn't be further from his forte.

Yet Zelda had just said that his reputation was stable, partly due his position but also with "a few good words from me and my network", a line that came as both support and enigma. Had she been constructing some manner of protection for him, without his knowledge. If so he'd have to add that to the pile of things to thank her for. Speaking of thanks…

"Zelda, did you tell the cooks that I'd insisted on thanking them for the meal after our meeting?"

"Yes, your glowing reviews of their culinary creations were numerous enough that I felt justified in extending them to the staff and a little positivity can go a long way. I simply decided to… stretch the truth slightly to boost your reputation among the staff. It always pays to be on good terms regardless of station, and the more goodwill you have with anyone in the court the less mud flung by unscrupulous individuals is likely to stick."

"Well then I thank you for looking out for me and my reputation."

"Don't mention it Link. After all, did I not say that I would protect you back at Ordon?"

"Yeah but I'm not really used to it. I've always been the one protecting people. It just feels weird… with the shoe on the other foot. I mean if someone comes at me with a sword I know what to do, but words… words have never been my strength. I came into this job thinking I was the protector, not the protectee. It seems all my arrival has done is add to your workload princess."

"Oh Link, you have done far more for me than you realise, not least releasing me from a toxic lie and reuniting me with long lost family among many other things."

"That wasn't really my… wait, so you've met Alfonzo since…"

"Absolutely, upon recovering from the shock and composing myself, shortly after Ashei showed you out, I commanded her to then return and escort me to Telma's bar, without informing the council. They had, after all, banned me from visiting it following just two meetings with the resistance, on accounting that "it was unsafe". Now of course, I know the real reason. It turns out that they had been keeping tabs on Alfonzo and they wished to avoid any chances of us running into one another. Clearly their spy had relayed my arrival back to them as they had already prepared their defence, no matter how flimsy…" The Princess, detecting the return of her earlier dour bitterness, swiftly and seamlessly made an about face to more cheery subjects, with just the briefest of dips of the brows to mark her momentary annoyance. "Nevertheless, they couldn't stop me in my quest and to my great fortune he was still there. Our reunion was… emotional. He has changed so much, yet so little…"

There was a brief pause as the Princess contemplated whether to elaborate as to the details, but again she swerved into another related topic. "It was also a pleasure to see Telma again. Such a spirited woman, particularly now that she's engaged. Incidentally, she wished for me to relay to you her invitation to her wedding day, just as she invited me. She also asked that I make it clear that she expects you to attend, that she will accept absolutely no excuses and that she will expect you to bring, in your company, a date."

Oh goddesses! Links eyes glazed over in horror. He did not get on well with big parties and celebration and the thought of requiring a companion of the attractive female variety had his stomach turning like a waterwheel in a downpour. How could he find a date? His duties as a soldier certainly gave very few opportunities to fraternise with the fairer sex and his wooing skills were greener than the hedges that currently surrounded him. Who did he know who fitted into that category who would ever consider him as a suitable beau? He ran through his list of female and friends and acquaintances in his head.

There was Ashei, of course, but she had already given the characteristics of her dream guy and while he met her base level qualification of being able to best her in combat, he fell rather short, no pun intended, in her other desired traits; tall, confident and cocky yet with a sensitive side. Personally, Link felt she was setting herself up to be disappointed, on multiple fronts, given only two men had ever beaten her, one being himself, who was much too short for her tastes, the other being a mystery man who, while certainly fulfilling the height and cockiness, had been described in her own words as being "giving arseholes a bad name!"

There was Neela, Zelda's ever cheery handmaiden, but her overly peppy demeanour and endless mile-a-minute chit-chat, bearable, even smile inducing in small doses would soon drive him to madness if he had to spend an entire evening exposed to it. Fellow handmaiden Dezalleena was most definitely out of the question, with the antics he'd bore witness to earlier.

Ilia was beyond consideration too. That left him with vague acquaintances he'd met on his adventures or servant girls at the castle. He supposed, particularly as she was the one who'd invited him with such demands, he could take up Telma's offer to introduce him to one of the three T's, as she referred to them.

"Oh, I think we know who Telma would much prefer you to date." Came a devious little whisper from inside his head. Not you again! Never the less this rogue element seemed to hijack his brain, directing his gaze to the epitome of elegance, beauty and wisdom that sat beside him, demurely smiling at him awaiting a reply.

He found himself once again taking in every aspect of her profile from the flawless ivory skin of her slender neck moving up through the rouge of her soft cheeks to the tips of her pointy ears and as his eyes met her sapphire blues he was suddenly struck be the bewildering sensation of being drawn into them by some unstoppable force. "There's no denying, all others pale in comparison to her."

The spell was broken as he blinked and registered her expression as she peered at him questioningly, with one eyebrow quirked in amusement. Had he just been gawking again? What was wrong with him?

Link fast found himself performing his know familiar impression of a tomato-fish hybrid, prompting a wonderfully melodious laugh from Zelda. "Do not worry Link, the wedding is not for another nine months, plenty of time to find a suitably beautiful young lady to match your fine features. I'm sure if you just let it be known that you seek a belle for the ball, then I'm sure you'll have most of Hyrule's eligible ladies throwing themselves at you."

Spluttering like a clogged up waterpipe, he fumbled for a worthy riposte to her obvious yet nevertheless devastating teasing. Fortune mercifully intervened a few seconds later with the ringing of a bell, not just in his mind this time, signalling the hour, which happened to mean that he had just five minutes to get back to barracks if he didn't want to be late.

Despite saving him from his embarrassment, Link couldn't help but berate fate for yet again bringing another conversation with Zelda to a premature close. She had answered much, yet that only opened up a multitude more questions. Frustratingly they would all have to wait as all he had time for was an apology for his abrupt departure.

He was about to bolt to his feet when he realised one foot was entangled in what felt like a strap of some kind from something tucked beneath the bench, possibly a bag or satchel. It made sense since the princess had brought a book and those crumbs for the birds had to come from somewhere.

Extricating his limb from the offending accoutrement, he opened his mouth to explain his sudden retreat, hopefully without admitting defeat in the face of her teasing, but the princess beat him to it, demonstrating that she hadn't been lying about her knowledge of his schedule. "Do not apologise for leaving, Link, I know you have your duties, of which I believe your current one is getting to your command training punctually, so I will not keep you. Just know that I greatly appreciate our meeting and would hope to do so again in the not so distant future. You will always be welcome here, so please, call upon my garden sanctum again should a suitable occasion arise. Perhaps fortune will gift us another moment where you find me here, and not trapped in the castle dealing with petty nobles."

"Thank you, Princess. I too hope we can meet again soon." Link bowed and turned for the "door", only to discover that there was no discernible means of "unlocking" the heavy stone work to move it. He was about to ask when, as if in reaction to his thoughts, it rumbled open of its own accord. A quick glance back revealed, as he suspected, that it was a little magic from the princess, rather than his wishes, that powered the door.

He gave a quick nod of thanks and started for the gap only for Zelda's voice to stall him. "Oh and Hero, do not overly concern yourself with actions and opinions of the court. Keep your nose clean, avoid any direct insults and they can't touch you. Plus, you will always have my support. Remember that."

"And you have mine." He replied and promptly slipped away, the stone wall closing behind him, yet beneath its distinctive low tones he caught her whisper "I know" as he shot off to face a, likely irate captain. As he hurtled back into the main castle, barrelling down the corridors like a man possessed, he attempted to put some of his many epiphanies and revelations in order.

So, what had he discovered in the last few hours? Well, there was the fact that most of Hyrule's populace knew very little about what actually happened during the Twilight invasion or even what it really was, and that many were desperate for answers, some carrying scars similar to his own. Then there was Zelda's tragic past but just as important her willingness to share it with him, and him alone. He couldn't help feeling both honoured and confused by that.

Following that came the discovery of the games being played behind the scenes regarding him, along with the unscrupulous motivations behind them.

Finally, there was this whole business with Telma's impending wedding day and his task to find a date. Quite frankly, he probably had a better chance of becoming a master politician than wooing a damsel, particularly in just nine months. He may have improved since leaving Ordon but he still had a long way to go to consider himself worthy of courting any lady.

"Oh, and we've learnt you have a little crush on Zelda" Midna's voice sailed merrily into his mind.

Link who had been in the process of making particularly tight turn, almost crashed into in strategically placed suit of armour as he skidded to a halt in shock. He looked up to see mischief's impish avatar smirking down at him.

"Come on, don't deny it! it certainly fits the diagnosis." The imp chimed seeming to enjoy this revelation far too much.

Link wished to argue… but he couldn't. The diagnosis certainly fitted what he knew about crushes.

"Add that to the list of discoveries and move on" his rational mind coaxed and, after a moment's flustered pacing, he set off for the barracks once more, reassuring himself of its utter triviality.

"I mean… It's just a crush right… give it a month or two and it will fade away… that's what crushes do…" Realising his stupidity at being so shaken by such banal problem, he laughed "It's not like I'd be foolish enough to fall in love with her, pine over her, like in all those soppy ballads the ladies love… utterly ridiculous!"

And so it was…


	15. Pick Your Poison

**A.N: Thanks again to everyone for supporting my story, be it with favourites, follows or likes. As always feedback appreciated. Not much to say about this chapter other than the fact that for it's size it took an inexcusable time to complete due to the number of rewrites it underwent.**

**I just hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 14 – Pick Your Poison**

Zelda's Study – 709 days A.G

Ambivalence was not a sensation Link considered himself prone to, but he couldn't escape it in this bizarre scenario. He should rightly be mad at Zelda for, what he now strongly suspected, to be a monumental demonstration of blatant hypocrisy, yet as her melodious voice neared the end of another tale he couldn't help but find her even more alluring. Damn his foolish heart for being so weak to her presence!

Once again, her dulcet tones had captured him and again her recollection deviated quite substantially from his own. Not to mention that while this was supposedly evidence for his impromptu trial, she spent remarkably little time on the crime, instead spending much of her words focusing on the many ways he had helped her and her citizens, through many small and, to him, inconsequential acts of kindness that were as natural as breathing and equally as unnoteworthy as far as his memory was concerned. Was she his prosecutor or his defence?

As he emerged from the sea of memories the princess's vividly expressed yarns had immersed him in, he could only guess that all this reminiscing had taken them almost an hour, judging by the fire and candles now burning low, allowing shadow to claim the many bookcases surrounding them. Their outlines, a ghostly grey in his vision, formed the illusion of a spectral cage, a hint to his possible fate. The only other light was the glow of his bindings which did little to assist illuminating outside their little intimate circle. It was now just him, a languid orange flame, a desk and his princess, who even half cast in shadow had lost none of her power to draw his gaze.

He thought back to his fateful words upon his initial horrified discovery of his crush on her. He was pretty sure he was right with his initial diagnosis of it being no more than innocent childish infatuation, yet he couldn't distinguish the moment when his heart decided to doom him with it's inconceivable naivety, entwining his hopes and happiness with hers. There were many episodes to choose from, however none supplied an irrefutable answer for the precise second in which he became another casualty of unrequited love, forced to endure her sweet presence without respite, falling into her deep sapphire gaze, admiring luscious lips that…

"Link, Ohhh Liiinnk!" Zelda's melodious crooning awoke him from his daydreaming, although he still wasn't entirely certain this whole situation wasn't a dream itself. Her delicate fragrance seemed to be enveloping him, balming his mind, even as it threatened to send him into a delirious haze. Blinking brought an explanation even as it exacerbated his bewitchment, the princess's gorgeous visage swimming into view, mere inches from his own, so close he could feel her breath on his lips. So near he could almost taste her… luxurious lips… if he just leaned forward…

ABORT!

Sanity finally regained a foothold on his body and he wrenched his head back, slamming his eyes shut to barricade them against so much as glancing at the princess's tantalizing yet utterly reprehensible display, his mind suddenly comprehending the full level of its salaciousness. Zelda practically lay over the table, her ample bosom virtually polishing the smooth mahogany surface, as her braids tumbled over the edge almost brushing against his knees. Even just the mental image of such indecency was enough to goad his heart into a bid for freedom, pounding its way out of his rib cage, in a desperate attempt to reach the object of its desires, while his brain threatened to combust from the fuel of a hundred shamefully steamy dreams.

He only opened his peepers once he heard the unmistakable creak of the table signally the princess's return to her seat and some semblance of decorum. Nevertheless, the smirk she met him with from her reclined repose in her chair was sufficient to keep his heart-rate up.

"So, is the heat of the trial getting to you, Link? You're looking rather flushed." The princess's honey laden tones sent a shiver down his spine, and as gallant and indomitable a hero as he was, he began to suspect he may have met his match, facing such a tormentor as his beloved Zelda. He'd never seen her do anything so risqué or seemingly lascivious and might have almost this alluring temptress before him was some evil vindictive doppelganger who had replaced the real princess. Her tales however were, despite their differences to his recollection, far too accurate and personal to be the work of an imposter. They also confirmed a niggling suspicion he had possessed for much of their acquaintance, but previously dismissed as his cynicism talking, that she may never have been quite as angelic and unquestionably noble as he held her to be.

Gulping hard to compose himself, Link croaked out a reticent response, not quite meeting her eyes. "Not hot, Zelda, just rather thirsty given that, with these bindings, I have been unable to drink for the last hour." He did his best to play down the guttural nature of his tone as nothing more than his parched throat combined with annoyance and not the growl of a wild animal that had just been whipped into a frenzy by an obscene display by its mate. He couldn't be seen to crack.

Zelda's smirk broadened and she began nonchalantly running a gloved finger around the rim of her own glass of wine as she tutted. "Link, we have been over this. It is merely a small punishment for your numerous transgressions. A punishment you would not be receiving were you to simply confess…"

"Princess, how many times do I have to…" the tormented hero's protest was halted with just a raise of her hand.

"I have no more wish to repeat that conversation than you Link, and I do believe you speak truly when you protest your ignorance of the crime for which the confession is required. Either that or you are so deep in denial of it yourself, for reasons I have yet to discover, you cannot answer. Nevertheless, this is an unavoidable issue of such magnitude that it must be resolved tonight if our relationship is to continue… and hopefully grow…" There were traces of both suggestiveness and whimsy as she made that last statement. Link could only assume this was yet more teasing as there was just one way he could see their relationship "grow" and surely Zelda would never consider such an option!

"Why not?" his heart protested vehemently.

Great, the cause of all his woes for the last year wanted yet another argument against basic rationality and common sense. Like he hadn't hammered home the myriad of reasons against such a ridiculous proposition dozens of times already. Why did it have to be so infuriatingly persistent?! Speaking of which…

"My intuition told me more than stubborn pride held your tongue and it seems I was very much correct. Rest assured Link, one way or another this issue WILL be resolved tonight even if it takes me till dawn to do so…"

"Well it would go a lot quicker if you just told me…" He tried another protest.

"Link, we've been through this." Zelda carried the same exasperated tone as she did after multiple attempts to teach him about trade taxes. "A lady should not have to say such a thing before a man has done his duty. It's a stain on her dignity and I'm far too patient to cast off my dignity this early in the evening…"

And she had the audacity to call him stubborn!? Not to mention the fact most respectable people would say she'd already thrown away any sense of respectability with her current tantalizing attire, let alone her positively indecent displays. That wasn't saying he didn't find them enthralling. He just wished she wasn't trying to give him a heart attack. He considered enquiring about a man's duty of which she spoke but he suspected he would just get yet another cryptic answer about as enlightening as soggy parchment embalmed in mud… Hey wait a minute! Was she implying she planned to cast off her dignity later?! What in Hyrule could that mean?! A small perverted corner of his mind had an idea that sent a shivered up his spine.

The princess had continued, oblivious to his distress or the fact that, due to his contemplation, he'd missed her last few lines "…and yet, despite the months of torment and frustration you have put me through, I am nothing if not merciful. Therefore, I will release you from your binds, however I will first have to take some precautions." With that she rose from her seat and, in her classic Zelda fashion, wafted weightlessly past him.

What precautions could she be thinking of? His query was answered a few seconds later with the click of a lock, moments before his glowing bindings dissipated, allowing Link to wheel round in shock. "Princess, what are you doing?" He asked incredulously.

"Making sure you can't escape. This is a trial after all. It's lucky you're wearing such a form fitting ensemble otherwise I may have been forced to examine you for a concealed clawshot. I couldn't risk having you swing off the balcony into the night like some dashing outlaw from those adventure stories."

The accused "dashing outlaw", knowing full well what tales she was alluding to, discovered a new shade of scarlet previously thought unattainable by his face. Zelda took one look at his expression and promptly burst into raucous unrestrained laughter, to which his only response was to slump back into his chair, both to conceal his ever-growing mortification and to prevent him gawking at her. As he fought to dowse his flaming embarrassment, his mind desperately sought to fathom the existence of this mischievous, effervescent and utterly bamboozling young temptress. This was the longest he'd ever seen her without her mask or veil… well except that one time when she'd overindulged on libation… and repeatedly tried to kiss him. It had been one of the longest evenings of his life, though this was shaping up to beat it into a cocked hat…

Of course! Zelda had already been drinking before he'd even arrived, goddesses knew how much. She may not have lost her profound eloquence or inimitable elegance but surely this new Zelda had to be the result of something fogging up her intellectual acuity worse than being forced to sit through the entirety of Gor Coron's poetic "epic" stirringly titled "meditations on a solitary rock". The sole suspect he had regarding such a clouding of the mind was Zelda's glass of wine sitting opposite, resting on one of several pieces of parchment that littered the mahogany surface.

As he heard the slight footfalls that signalled the princess's approach, Link began to subtly tug at the parchment beneath the glass, hoping to manoeuvre it out of her easy reach and discourage further indulgence, lest it led to disaster. His efforts were almost scuppered, however, as Zelda slipped passed him to stoke the fire and add another log. It wasn't the only flame she was stoking!

The innocent hero's eyes threatened to pop out, as his pure princess bent down in front of the warm glow to retrieve more wood… and revealed the silhouette of slender legs through the snow-white fabric of her skirt. A juddering hand nearly toppled the glass and were it not for his lightning fast reactions it's contents may have now been soaking into the various possibly important documents beneath it. He was almost grateful for that near catastrophe though, as it allowed him to tear his gaze away from the princess's tantalizing form. With the crisis averted he turned his eyes to the sky as to beseech the goddesses for some explanation for this whole affair. Perhaps they were to blame and this was some sick joke for them to laugh at his torment. It wouldn't surprise him given what his chosen destiny had given him thus far. Being tortured by a love he could never have certainly fit the profile.

"My my, first you steal my tarts and now you're trying to steal my wine, Link… and doing so right under my nose. You truly are incorrigible." Zelda was suddenly looming over him, a triumphant smirk emblazoned across her visage, her eyes sparkling with devilry.

Retracting his hands from the glass, as if scolded, Link dared to meet her wicked gaze as he launched into adamant defence without properly thinking. "I wasn't stealing it. I simply think you've clearly had more than enough already." By the time the words left his mouth he wished he'd stayed silent as Zelda's smirk quickly turned to a pout while angry arched eyebrows directed him to icy blue whirlpools that almost froze him in his seat.

"Care to explain?" She asked coolly.

He really didn't. "I… I didn't mean it like that." He stammered, fumbling for some escape. "It's simply that… that… you're acting… in a less than proper manner and…"

"Link, we are in private. Courtly protocol need not apply and quite frankly my daily recommended portion of it was surpassed three hours ago!"

"No, that's not what I was saying. It's simply that… it removes inhibitions and makes people… do things they… may… come to regret… and I don't want to… I don't want you to face such a regret."

"Link, I am neither drunk nor am I in any danger of doing anything I may come to regret!" She snapped, more exasperatedly than angry though, as the storm in her eyes had seemed to have blown over and her lips were twitching once again, restraining a devious grin. There was a brief pause and then "Besides, I know you are simply trying to excuse yet another blatant act of kleptomania, as is so much of your concern and consideration for me." For all the accusation in her words, her tone was thick with impish mirth.

Despite this, the ever-noble hero couldn't resist defending his honour… and his feelings. He leapt to his feet, planting his on the edge of the desk and leaning forwards, copying Zelda's stance and meeting her gaze. "I'll have you know princess, that every word or act of care and concern for you was from the heart and certainly not for some supposedly nefarious reason, but because I deeply… I…" His voice fell away as he saw her grin growing with every word he spoke and came to a horrifying realisation. She had baited him and he'd just fallen for it!

"Yeeeesssss?" Zelda practically cooed inching closer. How could he get out of this one? What subject could he possibly… A ha! Time to unmask a beautiful, despicable hypocrite.

"Hey, you're one to call me out for stealing food Zelda…" Link barked, before doing his best to conjure an air of cool smug confidence, a challenging prospect given her proximity "or should I call you Dezalleena."

He had expected anger or visible shock. All he got in response was gasp of feigned offence, quickly replaced by a quirk of the eyebrow and her Cheshire grin growing ever more devious… and alluring. She relaxed and gracefully reclined back into her seat, her sparkling gaze never leaving his. "So, you figured it out."

"Of course I figured it out!"

"What gave it away?"

Truthfully it was actually her retelling of the whole incident which allowed all the pieces to fall into place, however he certainly wasn't about to give her credit for supplying his one and only trump card. No, he'd just give her all the clues. All the clues he'd missed at the time, starting with the most absurd "Zelda, your choice of pseudonym. Dezalleena! Really! That's literal child's play. It's just your and Neela's names jumbled up."

"It's a name that has served me well. Besides it could have been Neela."

"Yeah, but Neela can't perform any magic, let alone full body illusion spells. Not to mention the fact that the mysterious Dezalleena carried the same fragrance as you, the only difference being a strange metallic overtone, which happens to accompany certain spells, including powerful illusion spells. Then there's also the slight heat haze effect that accompanies many spells, although I initially thought my eyes were playing tricks on me." Much of that was conjecture but it was a pattern he'd noticed, which seemed to fit the bill and he wasn't about to give the princess any wiggle room for plausible deniability. Not that she appeared to have any wish to, remaining remarkably nonchalant in the face of his counter accusations… almost as though she'd intended to be found out!

"Your wolf senses have certainly gifted you with some novel benefits over the years. I'm guessing it's how you discovered the bell to my sanctum?"

"You mean the hedge maze one, the statue?"

Zelda nodded.

"Er yeah, I knew there was more to that place and then I saw the nipple… Goddesses that sounds so wrong out loud" There he was blushing again. He was supposed to be the one with the power now. He slumped back into his chair and took a liberal swig of his wine. The princess chuckled, languidly reaching across to retrieve her own wine glass.

Anxious to close off all escape routes for his wayward princess's possible alibis, Link continued, trying to banish the embarrassment of talking about "seeing nipples" with the small twinge of pride he held at how much he'd pieced together "I did, of course, notice your co-conspirators, the birds, were busy clearing up the final scraps of the pastries you nabbed in the satchel, which you hid beneath that bench. Last but by no means least, there was the stone doorway to the secret passage in the cupboard of the royal kitchen that can only be opened by magic. It emits a low rumble, identical to the one made by the door to your hedge maze hideaway."

"Most observant of you. It's just a pity your senses give you no assistance in deciphering a lady's heart. If so you may have avoided your current predicament."

Okay he was definitely not touching that with a ten-foot pole, not after her last trick. Far better to press his advantage. "Ahem, well regardless of lacking a miracle like that, it does nothing to change the fact you're far guiltier of theft than me."

Placidly sipping her wine, Zelda regarded his statement for a moment before replying evenly "Oh, I am no more guilty of stealing than I am of spreading the rampant, unquellable rumours of our apparent salacious, scandalous affair. Do you seriously think I would put about such outrageous gossip?"

What was the relevance of that?! He had to admit, her spreading such gossip certainly wouldn't make any sense, though it begged the question as to what possessed her to think of inviting him to a private meeting at this time of night. This, however, did nothing to explain why her repeated purloining of chocolate confections didn't seem to count as theft. "Spreading gossip wasn't my point and you know it. How can you sit there and say you weren't stealing when, from what I heard, you swiped those tarts at least five times!"

"I am a princess, I do not swipe anything." She dismissed with theatrical mock haughtiness "I was merely reclaiming what should have rightfully been mine, but which, due to certain dark oppressive forces, I was denied the delectation of consuming."

"Sure, It was your royal right, hence why you did it incognito." Link drawled sarcastically.

"I couldn't have those dastardly dark forces discover my actions."

"You mean the council?"

"Obviously! you have, after all, witnessed just how utterly despicable some of them can be and the depths they would stooped to."

"Yes, but them denying you a dessert, for whatever absurd reason they spun, doesn't even begin to compare to the evil some of them were capable of. Speaking of evil, Weren't those tarts you stole destined for an orphanage?"

Zelda gave a huff of offence yet she broke into a beaming smile as she gave an extraordinary defence with an air of imperious superiority. "Evil! On the contrary I did them a great service, saving those poor orphans from a lifetime of eternal culinary disappointment. Once they tasted such divine delicacies their pallets would be forever spoilt for all other desserts. Also, there was never more than one. Not enough to be shared but enough to be fought over. Imagine the carnage such temptation could bring to a group of impressionable young children. Why, it could start wars. Hence, why I, dutiful, compassionate princess that I am, nobly risked my own safety to ensure that such sinful delectations never blight their innocence."

Link was gobsmacked. He was sure the world had never before witnessed such a refined and musical contribution to the art of talking twaddle. It wasn't the fact she was lying to his face that shocked him. It was the blatant absurdity of it, all carried through with the sweet impish glee of a child, caught red handed, who knows they can operate with impunity because their accuser is already wrapped around their finger.

Her confidence in her charms wasn't misplaced. He should have been furious at her hypocrisy, yet as the drivel she composed sprang forth from her smiling lips, his heart was instantly charmed by its melodious cadence, weaving a web of sweet spritely nonsense that rendered his fury impotent within its tangling threads.

He wanted to be mad. He needed to be mad, just to teach her a lesson. Yet as he met her beaming sapphire gaze, sparkling in the firelight glow and emblazoned with mirth, he found himself fighting a very different madness. The kind that brings a dreamy smile to one's lips or a laugh when there should be none. Nevertheless, he struggled valiantly to mount a protest even as he battled his own cheek muscles to maintain some semblance of severity in his visage.

"Zelda, that's… that's the biggest load of rubbish I ever heard."

"Really! you've cooked up some truly exceptional whoppers in your time… but I'll admit, it was rather spectacular, wasn't it?"

"You don't seem particularly sorry about it."

"And why should I be?"

"Err, because your charging me with something of which you are equally culpable. Some would call that hypocrisy."

"Firstly, the 'tart and sponge incident' is not the crime for which you are being charged. It is merely evidence to demonstrate your incorrigible kleptomania, and secondly it is irrelevant because… I know you'll forgive me by the morning." She winked at him.

Link was losing the battle with his cheek muscles, particularly as Zelda was turning up the heat in them by leaning forward inch by inch with each line. "Rather presumptuous, princess." He replied, barely keeping his growing smile from creeping into his sonorous tones.

"Hmm, on the contrary. I know this because of one simple universal truth."

"and what is that?"

"That a hero will always protect, comfort and forgive his princess and she in turn will be gracious, genuine but most of all, generous in her gratitude and admiration. You… are MY hero and I… am YOUR princess."

"You think it's really so simple."

"Indeed. Furthermore, as an addendum to this cosmic law, it is written that neither hero nor princess ever perform their duties purely for duty's sake. There's always something else at play."

There she goes being all mystical again. What could she be eluding to fate, destiny, the goddesses themselves…

"Love" His heart piped in.

Oh, shut up! As if it hadn't caused enough trouble this evening. Here it was to pester him with yet more ludicrous ideas.

"Ahem" Zelda's harmonious hum brought his attention back to her and away from his infernal inner romantic. She surveyed him with a hint of pensiveness, though the dazzling blue orbs still sparkled with the light of mischief. "Are you waiting for elaboration Link, or expecting me to confess? If it's the former then I'm afraid I must disappoint you. If, however it's a confession you seek, then you can have it, once you've answered one simple question…" Link braced himself for what was bound to follow. "…when did you figure out I was the mysterious Dezalleena?"

Deflection to the expected probe already formulated, Link's tongue caught in his throat when Zelda's actual question, so benign and unobtrusive actually registered. Had the princess granted him a reprieve from the interrogation? It would have been the perfect opportunity to offer some explanation and then hold him to ransom. Well he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he answered… with a lie, naturally.

"Oh, err… probably about a month afterwards."

Zelda gave him a knowing smile and tittered "Hmhmhm, so you really did just figure it out"

"Princess, I…"

"You are an appalling liar Link and it is not remotely surprising, given your clearly displayed disgust at the notion of dishonesty. It's just one of the many reasons I like you so much. I can read you like a book and as you know… I am a consummate bibliophile." Whenever the princess used such long words he only vaguely understood, Link could almost feel the rush of wind through his hair as her statement's revelatory context shot narrowly over his head. From his educated estimation, bibliophile meant book lover, so why did she have to make it sound so suggestive?! Was she trying to imply she already knew his feelings for her? If that were the case she wouldn't interrogate him about it so often. Was it a general warning against him lying during this increasingly preposterous so called "trial"? His heart had its own interpretation but that was nothing more than wishful thinking.

"Well, you may have lied but you nevertheless provided me with the truth in your own roundabout way, so I will provide you with the confession I promised, without your attempted duplicity. Yes, I confess, using the guise of Dezalleena, I snuck into the royal kitchen on numerous occasions and pilfered many a delectable dessert of chocolate and raspberry. I confess, I deprived many a servant or orphan of a once in a lifetime culinary delight and I confess, my only motivation behind such abominable acts was… temptation!" With all the dramatic flourish of an experienced thespian, Zelda delivered the last line as some kingdom shattering reveal.

While the castle was not suddenly struck by earthquakes or volcanic eruptions and such a motivation would be no shock coming from most, to hear it from the princess herself rocked Link's image of her. He'd always considered her to be wholly devoted to the needs and wellbeing of her kingdom… well almost. She could be impulsive every now and then, but never to the extent of engaging in such reckless, selfish actions for such a trivial treat. If one as wise and supposedly pure as she could be tempted by a few inches of chocolate and raspberry then what else could she fall for?

"Is that shock or disapproval on your face, Link, or perhaps both?" She asked with amusement.

He was about to offer a straight answer, when he realised she had just gifted him a chance to call her bluff, or at the very least give her a taste of her own medicine. "I thought you said you could read me like a book?"

"Indeed, I can but I much prefer to hear you say it."

"Well I'd much prefer you enlighten me on what I 'supposedly' think"

"As you wish. You disapprove of my actions, more out of principle and concern for my safety than out of regard for the reactions or opinions of others. What has you truly shaken, though, is the very idea that your angelic, pure, selfless princess succumbed to the temptation of such a frivolous distraction to any extent, let alone such as to inspire drastic measures to sate it." She really could read him like a book.

"This could, of course, lead you to ponder as to what other desires and temptations I can fall victim to? Well I am neither a nun nor a goddess so I can assure you there are plenty of others. If your noble disposition compels you to consider such a revelation reprehensible then know this. Temptation is not the contemptable vice many paint it to be. It merely requires moderation and careful selection, given that it can be sparked by so many things objects… acts… people…" She gave an exaggerated sigh "I yield to my greatest temptation on a daily basis, yet tragically it never seems to take a hint." She leant forward and fixed him with an intense half lidded gaze which, combined with her increasingly honeyed tone, was rapidly creating a localised heatwave. "I bet you're dying to know what it is, aren't you Link? Well I'll tell you when you confess. What tempts you oh so noble hero?"

Her noble hero was having a hard time responding given that his brain was melting and his heart was making another escape attempt. All he could do was stare as Zelda reclined back and, eyes never leaving his, took another nonchalant sip of her wine. He watched powerlessly as the glass, streaked with pink, left her luscious lips and a drop of wine slipped out from between them. Déjà vu…

"I wonder which tastes sweeter?" chimed a devious voice in his head.

A tongue slipped out to catch the rogue drop and the lips smirked devilishly. Links eyes darted back up to the princess's, that were twinkling with delight beneath a veil of feathery lashes. Oh goddesses, had she really just witnessed him staring at her lips?! Why was she laying a hand on his?

"Link, has it not occurred to you that…" Zelda cooed and her knight's heart stopped. "… I owe you yet again for saving me in that kitchen. How can I ever repay your gallantry, dear hero?" Her smirk morphed to a devastatingly sweet smile and she fluttered her delicate lashes like butterfly wings in flight, a dazzling display that left him nearing breaking point. He could feel himself falling.

The was but one viable course of action left.

Throwing caution to the wind, along with the princess's prior advice and all sense of decorum, Link bravely…

and desperately…

snatched up his full wine glass and proceeded to guzzle the lot in a matter of seconds. It probably wasn't the best idea in the long run but the sweet nectar offered some respite from the heat and a welcome distraction. He had the vague feeling he'd tasted it before, but with his brain working on half capacity he couldn't place it. His heart was still thumping like a demented percussion group.

Zelda, meanwhile, slipped back into nonchalant amusement, as though the last five minutes never happened, with nothing more than the quirk of an eyebrow and a coy giggle. She "Helpfully" offered him a refill. "My, my, you really must have been parched Link. We can't have that in your trial. Anyway, I believe we have had enough diversions for now. We really should continue with the evidence…"

Objections would have been bursting forth from his mouth like fireworks were it not for his stolen tongue and melted mind. All he could do was silently curse his traitorous heart and his cruel, confounding yet utterly captivating companion as she delivered her final blow of this engagement.

"We have no time to waste and a lot more evidence to examine. Can you imagine the gossip that would arise from our meeting extending past sunrise? Oh, the scandal!"

Grrr! Zelda! She would be the death of him… and he was strangely fine with that.


	16. Arrows and Narrow Escapes

**A.N: Greetings, my fabulous audience! I must apologise for the particularly long delay. Then again this is a particularly long chapter. I had heard that writing coherent and compelling action was one of the greatest challenges any author or, in my case, "author" could every face. Turns out they weren't wrong. This chapter has gone through several partial rewrites. I just hope it entertains. As always feel free to leave a review and I appreciate your support.**

**P.S Butts exist! I did not create butts for the purpose of dirty jokes! There are real historic butts… though not quite like mine!**

**P.P.S As you haven't read the chapter yet the previous comment may sound stupid… which indeed it is, but there's a context to that stupidity!**

**P.P.P.S What are you doing still reading my ramblings? Move on to the story!**

**Chapter 15 – Arrows and Narrow Escapes**

Hyrule barracks training yard – 182 days A.G

The stench of sweat assaulted his nostrils. Steel, warmed in the heat of a late spring sun, grazed his neck. All this before the fight had even started. Blasted helmet!

The reason for his uncharacteristic decision to don the infernal headgear loomed before him like a great oak, but considerably less friendly. Of all the opponents among the ranks of the grand army of Hyrule, here was the first to actually produce genuine nerves from him, being the only other person to have bested Ashei.

The opponent was none other than Sir Eddengrin Halshaw, son of Lord Halshaw, though their appearances would seem to contradict that. Standing almost three feet taller than his fathers or Link, with his width entirely comprised of muscle and full plate armour, the knight towered above most of the spectators congregated expectantly round the flat and featureless sparring ring. His imposing stature was matched by his visage, possessing a cold, calculating iron gaze, thin lipped sneer and cheek bones so sharp they could be classed as weapons in their own right. Slicked down jet-black hair adorned his crown while heavily manicured whiskers of the same colour formed a canopy over his top lip. All these features were boldly displayed as he scoffed dismissively at his squire's offer of a helmet. After all, it wasn't likely his dome was in any danger of a strike from Link, the top of the diminutive hero's head barely reaching his chest height. His arrogant dismissal of a helmet certainly fit with his nickname among the soldiers of "Arsin' Cocksure", a clear demonstration of the general opinion of the man within the ranks, despite his record as the only undefeated fighter other than Link. If the rumours about Halshaw junior were true, the one thing he'd inherited from his father was an equally despicable disposition.

Link, for all his flaws, wasn't one for reckless bravado and, hearing what had happened to some of Cocksure's previous competition, had opted for at least some basic protection with his mail laced tunic, helmet and not forgetting a little extra reinforcement round the groin region. Apparently not all who faced the knight for some "friendly" sparring were capable of continuing their army service once he'd finished with them and to call THEIR sparring match anything approaching friendly would be either madness and deception of the highest order.

The lord's son had burst into the barracks early yesterday afternoon, having just returned that morning from some trip to the Goron province, stormed up to him as he finished his beef stew and demanded a sparring match later that day. Link, had however, declined, informing Sir Halshaw he had guard duty. The petulant man had then viciously chucked one of his gauntlets in the last of the hero's stew, splashing gravy everywhere, rambled off something about a Holmgang, stating the place and time, before retrieving the gravy stained gauntlet and lumbering away. It was fair to say the exchange had caused quite a stir in the mess. A brief discussion with Borri and some of the officers enlightened him to the fact a Holmgang was apparently some sort of duel, though no one knew any specifics. Nevertheless, he wasn't about to be intimidated by some stuck up prick who stained one of his favourite tunics so, despite a lack of knowledge of his opponent or details of the duel itself, he'd accepted the challenge.

Now he found himself none the wiser, as he and his mountain of an opponent slowly circled each other, waiting for the sun to sneak behind the tower on the western corner of the yard and allow them to start. The high inner wall of the castle loomed behind him, while to Halshaw's rear the complex of buildings that made up the barracks hunkered down beneath the outer wall, beyond which he could just about hear the sloshing sound of water in the moat, moving in a stiff breeze. On the Horizon he caught a glimpse, just visible over the mountains, of heavy storm clouds building as the breeze dragged them in the castle's direction. He just hoped it wasn't an omen of his fate in the coming fight.

He gave a few quick flourishes to get his sword arm warmed up and his opponent did the same, though with considerably more flair and speed, a clear attempt at intimidation and showing off. This display was accompanied by several girlish gasps from the castle balcony two stories up, which overlooked the barracks. It would seem, for all the low opinions from the soldiers, Halshaw junior made up for it with his popularity with the ladies, not that he showed any sign of acknowledgement of his fans, instead glaring daggers at the hero.

For all the razor-sharp intensity of Halshaw's gaze, Link doubted that he was gaining anything from such fixated observance, unlike his own survey which identified a number of tactical strengths and weaknesses of his hulking opponent. The most obvious among these was of course the man's tremendous height and reach, which, with the dulled practice bastard sword he was wielding, was likely twice the distance of Link's own. To others this considerable advantage would see them quaking in their boots or fleeing, but for the hero of twilight it was simply an extra challenge, one that he had a fair bit of experience overcoming, since most of his enemies outdid him in the size department. To his eternal shame he couldn't deny it was rather easy to outdo him in that regard.

Regardless of such shortcomings, he knew his capabilities and an oversized, constipated peacock armed with a bastard sword was well within his, particularly as his observations had revealed a couple of possible weaknesses to exploit. The knight's impressive stature, while allowing for greater reach, had the knock-on effect of making traversal of the battlefield far more cumbersome, exacerbated by his full plate armour… well almost full. There were two parts of his body with considerably less armour; his head and rather bizarrely… his gonads. The mail vest and trousers covering them, while sufficient to negate the risk of lacerations would offer little protection against the force of even a moderate impact. Tactically it made no sense, not that Link would ever consider going for such a cheap and dishonourable strike.

The armour would inevitably pose an issue, however he reckoned there were more than enough gaps and joins in it to gift him some winning blows… assuming that this Holmgang thing was won in the same manner as any traditional sparring match. Link broke their exchange of wordless eyeballing to casually ask "So how does one win this Holmgang?"

"Oh, you have no need to know that. All you need concern yourself with is the pain and humiliation of your inevitable defeat." Came Sir Halshaw's ominous reply, voice dark and thick as tar.

"I'll keep that in mind" quipped the hero, maintaining a flippant manner, belying his intense focus as he continued to dissect his opponent, occasional switching to check the sun's progress into obscurity which would herald the start of the fight. It wouldn't be long now.

Disappointingly, neither the wait, nor his laidback attitude seemed to roil the knight as he'd hoped. It appeared the man possessed a modicum of patience. Also worth noting was the precision of his flourishes, the signs of a highly accomplished swordsman… or a practiced show-off. He clearly didn't earn his unbroken record through strength and size alone. Accomplished or not, Halshaw would have issue with striking low, lest he risk driving his blade into the dust and gravel, a fact that Link could use to his advantage when dodging.

As the shadows finally crept up to meet him at the far end of the ring, he felt a small jolt as his body anticipated the imminent conflict. His opponent ceased his flourishes to calmly present the tip of his blade to Link across the battleground, where he held it pointing at the hero's head as they continued to circle.

Let the fight commence…

Any second now…

They kept circling and Halshaw, with arm outstretched, still presenting the tip his blade as if in accusation, showed no sign of making an advance on his position. Link held on course round the circumference of the dusty ring. If the knight was going to stain his tunic and challenge him to a duel without even clarifying the rules, the least he could do was make the first move. Plus, he wanted to test the man's patience.

The revolutions built up; once, twice, thrice and they were still no closer to clashing blades. Yawns and frustrated mutters broke out among the expectant audience of soldiers, servants and the ladies of Sir Halshaw's fan club, yet Link continued with his mask of careless nonchalance, reading his opponents reactions.

On the fifth go on their tiresome merry-go-round, roughly five horse lengths in radius, he glimpsed the first signs of a crack in the Knights composure as a muscle in the giant's eyelid began to twitch erratically. On the sixth Halshaw snorted like an angry bulldog who was just served vegetables for dinner, having been promised steak and rib. "What's the matter. Scared to face me Hero!" he spat, trying to hide his frustration behind bravado.

"Hey, you're the one who invited me here and you haven't even told me the rules. What kind of host are you."

"Ah yes, the classic wit of the illiterate commoner."

"Not illiterate, just uneducated." Came Link's deadpan riposte.

"Well I'll be sure to educate you on any differences from your normal sparring when it becomes necessary…" The knight sneered with fake obsequiousness which morphed into a snarl "… before I educate you on your place as a hedge-born cumberworld!"

"Hedge-born cumberworld? That's a new one" Link thought wryly. He would have considered asking for a translation, but decided against it as his opponent finally started to close the distance, advancing slowly and purposefully on him, sword still directed at his head. He, meanwhile, assumed a loose defence stance, letting the knight come to him, knowing he would be better served by dodging round the giants strikes than blocking. Not that he expected to avoid every blow, but if he spent all his energy deflecting, he'd never even get in range to strike, such was Halshaw's advantage of reach.

Link took two steps in just as the knight's sword was about to coming into attacking distance, prompting a quick thrust, easily avoided with a causal skip backwards. His opponent advanced again and the move was repeated with the same result.

Halshaw switched his guard to a lower position, holding the sword at waist height with both hands, still aiming the tip for Link's cranium. He clearly realised that the hero wasn't dumb enough to engage in a fight when so far out of range, so he was now inviting the hero to approach, with a more restricted guard position.

Link, naturally being polite and noble as he was, obliged such a "thoughtful" gesture and the fight began in earnest. The knight lunged in with a thrust at his stomach, swiftly followed by trio of clinically performed swipes, one at each arm, with the last being an upper cut towards the hero's chin. Link blocked the first three with minor effort, before dancing out of range of the forth, skipping with almost comical breeziness into the centre of the ring, hiding his intense focus. That opening volley was proof enough that Sir Halshaw, while an obnoxious, contemptable snob like his father, was not to be taken lightly as a swordsman.

As he stood, spinning his blade, waiting for his opponent, the crowd started to awaken from their bored stupor to celebrate the battles first flurry. The next exchange followed similar to the last with three clangs of sword against sword rising above the hubbub of the spectators. This time, however, Link tried an offensive jab into the small crevice opened in the knee as Halshaw bent to deliver his forth strike. Unfortunately, all it found was shining steel, and he paid with a glancing blow to the arm. It was only his superior agility the saved him from a painful bruising as he retreated once more.

He needed to score some good strikes in the hopes of irritating his opponent into becoming sloppy. He retreated as far as he could, prompting a yell from the knight. "Running like a coward wont help you. Simply exposes you're true character, so called hero!"

Running wasn't his plan. He simply needed sufficient space for the charge. Halshaw's eyes gleamed in anticipation and he dropped his guard, baiting the hero to try it, knowing what was to come… or so his overconfidence led him to believe.

Like a shot from a cannon, Link raced towards the arrogant noble, subtly telegraphing a high thrust, which Halshaw, being an experienced swordsman easily spotted. Just as he got in range, however, Link let his momentum on the loose gravel take his feet from under him and he slide beneath his opponent's carefully timed swing. Attack dodged, he delivered a fervent riposte into the noble's less armoured derriere. It was not enough to cause any serious damage, as they were both wielding dull practice swords, but it could certainly be a pain in the arse.

Jumping to his feet, he deftly sidestepped a rather less co-ordinated swipe from the angry knight who whirled round to face him, visage briefly stamped with rage, only to be contained by a sickeningly odious sneer. "Well done, hero. You've just exposed yourself as the thorn in the backside of decent society you truly are."

"Hey, I just struck a blow on the source of your intellect. The least you could do is give me some credit." His quip brought a smattering of sniggers from the soldiers watching, while Sir Halshaw's small but passionate fan club exchanged confused murmurs. Clearly, if they lacked the basic intelligence to recognise their idol was an arrogant ignorant ignoramus then that joke was beyond them. Although to be fair, the knight did possess the oh so desired trio of traits women apparently went crazy for; tall, dark and handsome. It could simply be exposure to these three magic ingredients that drove them to leave their brains in their closets.

Halshaw got the joke but he wasn't laughing. "First you utterly humiliate my father and try to sully my family name and now you dare to mock my intelligence. Mark my words, you will learn your place and you will suffer for it!"

This response actually surprised the hero. He'd assumed Halshaw junior simply possessed the same automatic hatred of him that his father had shown. He certainly hadn't expected the Ordon debacle to still be dogging him months on. He frantically backpedalled, trying to get out of range to form an eloquent defence to the accusation, without having to fend off a barrage of increasingly vicious blows "You're pinning that on me?!" He exclaimed incredulously "Your father was the one trying to spread scandalous lies about me and the princess. All the humiliation he brought to your family was of his own making!"

The furious knight broke off his pursuit, letting forth a bitter derisive laugh. "Ah yes. You, so proclaimed hero, and our illustrious royal highness happened, by pure coincidence, to meet at your home, a peasant's shack built into a tree as my father described it, for what? a midnight chat?!... perhaps some tea and cakes?!… or was it something else on the menu?!" Link glowered at the obvious insinuation, which dripped with snide contempt from Halshaw's lips as he continued ranting, beginning to play to the crowd as though this was all some grand theatre. Just like his father. "Now I don't begrudge her highness a little diversion to entertain herself on occasion, even if I question her choice of… company… After all there's more than enough of that to go around among the nobles. What I cannot abide is our "precious" princess dragging my family's reputation through the mud simply to maintain her image of pristine purity! A farcical notion perpetuated by poets and naive romantics who know nothing of the real world or the hearts of women. She may be royalty but she is no paragon of innocence and my family shouldn't have to suffer to protect that lie!"

From his face, the noble clearly expected praise or agreement with his performance, but as a chorus of boos rose up from the ranks of the soldiers, his countenance quickly turned from righteous indignation to contempt. Had he made such a speech when Link had just arrived he may have received some small level of support. His timing however, was atrociously poor, as several recent political victories by the princess, along with a couple of visits to the barracks in an effort to boost both moral and her image, had succeeded beyond expectations, transforming the men's general consensus of her from apathy to admiration.

Link, for his part, had tried to remove as many of the sticks up his arse as possible, which worked wonders for his popularity and he had, by extension, sung the princess's praises too. By comparison, Halshaw had only ever been respected due to fighting prowess and was already widely disliked. With the hero's arrival and the public humiliation of his father, witnessed by, not one, but two regiments, what little respect remaining among the ranks vanished. The obnoxious noble would not receive any sympathy here.

Unleashing an angry bellow, Halshaw charged Link again. The hero, still taking in the full context of his indignant and misguided appeal, had little time to react to his sudden attack. The knight brought all his weight and muscles to bare upon his adversary in a mighty downward strike capable of breaking most swords, or indeed people, in half. As Link braced himself to block the brutal hit, the thought crossed his mind that he may soon be fighting armed with naught but his fists and a splitting headache. Fortunately, both his muscles and the old practice arming sword displayed remarkable integrity in the face of such assault. The blades slid into the bind, crossguards locked together. They both tried to twist them round for a possible strike, but to no avail.

As they continued to struggle, Halshaw leaned in menacingly before delivering his first decisive blow… with a whisper "They may boo, but I know the truth and so do you. I have but one question. Just how much of a dirty little whore is she?!"

The speech had been little more than a minor annoyance from a posturing prick but that whisper set his blood boiling. How dare he! HOW DARE…

Crack!

His despicable adversary, taking advantage of his brief moment of outraged inaction, gave a forceful twist of his sword and drove the crossguard into Link's nose. Blood spattered forth staining both his tunic and the crossguard.

Link staggered back, dazed by the impact and wincing from the pain. Well, there went his sense of smell for the next week! Had this been a normal sparring match or tournament, it would have been called off and Halshaw would have been disqualified. This, however, was a Holmgang, whatever that was? He cursed his foolishness in accepting, whether it be out of pride or the lure of a challenge. In his ignorant gullibility he had assumed the rules would be very similar or that his opponent, no matter how despicable, would still do the basic courtesy of explaining them. In doing so he'd effectively handed complete control over of proceedings to his opponent.

He managed, barely, to recover in time to intercept another blow aimed squarely at his head, beating it away wildly. Still reeling from the hit he failed to offer a counterattack or return to a proper guard position. His opponent, still chuckling from his previous hit, exploited the opening with a heavy swing into his left arm. Even through the tunic and a layer of chainmail the blow still stung.

As the initial shock and pain dissipated, an almost animalistic rage took over. To his rational mind's shame, he found himself baring his teeth and growling at Halshaw. In response the knight laughed and obnoxious taunted him, oblivious to the angry haze descending over the hero's senses. "Pain", "ill-bred" and "dog" were the only words that penetrated the fog, purely through lip reading, as all he could hear, reverberating round his head like heavy raindrops in a cave, was the man's vile whisper "Dirty… Little… Whore…" A burning hunger for retribution threatened to consume his conscious thoughts, and he found himself literally seeing red.

Halshaw's laughter faltered as he saw the look in Link's eyes and for the first time in the battle, he bore a trace of genuine trepidation as he formed a tense defensive stance, without the usual ulterior motive of baiting the hero. No, the man was obviously simply preparing for the inevitable onslaught that was to come. Even Link almost feared the capabilities of this beast inside him, as he struggled to reign it in.

Without second thought Link charged in to engage Halshaw head on, a foolish strategy under normal circumstances, given the knights far superior reach. He barrelled in regardless, imbued with almost inhuman strength and spurred on by the need to sate this lust for vengeance, lest it grow too powerful to contain. What followed was a whirlwind of blades that even the two combatants failed to fully comprehend, operating purely on instinct and muscle memory as the swords clanged and clattered in a discordant chorus of chaos.

Halshaw tried valiantly to keep the force of nature that was the hero of Twilight at bay, but with every scraping, screeching clash of metal on metal, Link shaved more inches off the man's range advantage, drawing ever closer to striking distance. The undeniable sense of satisfaction at seeing his opponents increasingly wide-eyed desperation, along with the stunned awe of some of the spectators, helped to mollify the raging beast. To truly pacify it though, only one thing would suffice, namely thoroughly thrashing the arrogant bastard.

As much as he was capable of maintaining this war of attrition, the mellowing of the "spirit of vengeance" allowed Link the ability to focus more tactically. He'd gotten in range as a result of its brute strength, but now was the time to use what his most infamous attribute, his agility to finally beat his foe. He watched for an opening, all the while keeping the pressure on the knight, who, despite a distressed expression, was demonstrating remarkable resilience. Nothing could last forever though and they'd probably already broken the record for longest continuous exchange in the history of duelling. He had an epiphany… and eased off.

It worked.

Halshaw, either out of desperation or impatience, made a grave misjudgement and took the bait. Link watched as the knight, holding a high guard pulled back slightly to give more momentum to the following formidable thrust at his chest. It would have been guaranteed to drive the hero back… had he still been there.

By the time the long blade commenced its strike, Link was already round it and heading for his target, the now exposed armpit behind it. He didn't hold back as, gripping his blade with his free hand for greater precision, he jabbed his blunt sword into the gap in the armour. Halshaw hissed in pain and desperately tried to adjust. It proved in vain as a forceful swing to the back of the knee sent the knight staggering forwards, allowing a final humiliating blow… another stab into his backside.

Applause erupted from the crowd, as the dust settled and he stepped back to admire his handiwork. The fight was over. Time to take stock and, for what it was worth, bask in the glory. Shuffling dresses from the balcony above informed him that Halshaw's fan club were disbanding. He let out a sigh.

The sight of his giant armour-clad foe tumbling to all fours, bookended by a humiliating blade to the backside, sated the hungry vengeful animal within, which sloped off lethargically back to its cave for a nap. Reason no longer competing for space with instinct, he could finally turn his attention to the matter of its existence and purpose. Where had it come from and why did it choose to appear then? The direct answer should have been obvious. He was in danger, in pain and had just been a victim of foul play. Surely that would be reason enough. The trouble was, had that been the case, he would already be acquainted with the full force of the beast. No, the evidence all pointed to…

Carried on the breeze, a faint rumble of the still distant storm called Link from his ponderings. He sheathed his sword and turned his gaze to the brooding black clouds looming on the horizon, baring the promise of spectacular yet water logged light show. As damaging and dangerous as they could potentially be, storms stirred far more fascination than fear for him. He pulled a handkerchief from a pocket of his tunic and mopped his sweat soaked brow. He couldn't wait to get this blasted helmet off.

The crowd began to close in to congratulate the hero when a roar from Sir Halshaw, now standing again, stopped them in their tracks. "You think this is over! This is my Holmgang and I will be the one to decide when it ends."

"Oh, give it a rest. I won that fight fair and square!" Link snapped in exasperation, crossing his arms and scowling at the pest. Seriously, was Halshaw a man or a reoccurring rash in human form?

"This isn't about winning. This is about correcting the injustices carried out against me and my family!" He snarled, waving his blade to accent his indignation. "And don't think I didn't notice what happened. You talk of winning fair and square, yet you clearly use some spell to enhance your strength. No one possess that kind of raw power, especially not a little runt like you…"

With the knight's rant stirring the hornet's nest, creating a growing buzz of booing and jeering, one of the captains finally stepped in, in an attempt to curtail the situation. "That's enough Sir Halshaw! Legate Link has beaten you in combat, in spite of your illegal strike…"

"Ah Captain, have you finally grown some balls or has my superior station slipped your memory! What would my father think of such disrespect and insubordination? Do not test my patience or you may soon hear from the general about an imminent court martial!"

Link watched in mild consternation as the Captain cowed under Halshaw's scornful address, even having witnessed the man on all fours, beaten by a man half his size, not five minutes ago. Was it fear of the man himself or his father's influence? He knew that, for whatever unfathomable reason, Lord Halshaw was an honorary general but he'd assumed it to be a purely ceremonial position. If, however, the "noble Lord" possess the power to promote, demote or discharge high ranking officers on a whim, how much power did Halshaw senior possess? Indeed, more to the point, how had HE, apparently the Lord's greatest nemesis, not been discharged from his position within a week of his arrival? The idea that an individual member of the court could wield such influence over Hyrule's military seemed highly disturbing.

"As for you!…" Sir Halshaw turned his attention back to Link. "all your small victory has achieved is to prove that like most born on a farm, you bare more relation to beast than to man, which explains your lack of honour or moral fibre. No wonder you do not even bat an eye at my family's plight, the direct result of you and her royal highness's scurrilous accusations."

"Your father was the only one making scurrilous accusations!" Link's scowl deepened

"Hmhm. Of course, I don't expect a deceitful cretin such as you to confess freely, which is why I intend to beat it out of you! Fortunately, as this is my Holmgang and I am the injured party, I am entitled, by tradition, to some assistance to counter your dishonourable tactics." He gave a subtle nod, directed over Link's shoulder.

Keen hearing picked up shifting gravel and rattling metal approaching from the rear. Link Sidestepped just in time to avoid a swipe to the back from the knight's squire, who'd burst forth from the crowd on his master's signal. The kid, probably no older than fifteen yet already equal in height to the hero, was no slouch as a swordsman either. Clad in a red gamberson and helmet, as opposed to full body armour, he was more vulnerable but also more agile than the giant Lumbering brute that was Sir Halshaw.

Link, realising he now faced foes on two fronts, dashed away from his new adversary, following the outside of the ring as he sought to put as much distance between him and both his opponents as possible. He needed a strategy to end this madness quickly! But how?

Unfortunately, his moment to think was snatched away almost instantly as the squire, unlike his master, appeared to have no qualms against giving chase, and was soon upon him again as he turned to make a stand at the opposite end of the battlefield. Link had just enough time to take in the kid's reckless charge, which left a trailing dust cloud in its wake, before their blades clashed. Link parried a trio of wild, frenetic blows before concluding that he may have been foolishly hasty in crediting the squire's skills. As a forth attack came in, with little consideration of guard, he came to suspect that the young man had made the grave mistake of moving onto advanced techniques without polishing his basics. Bad habits and a penchant for recklessness reduced the squire's threat level from legitimate danger down to an annoyance, one that hopefully wouldn't be in this fight for much longer.

Predicting the youngster's pattern of attack, Link calmly blocked the next two strikes knowing an opening would soon arrive… and it did. The perfect disarming opportunity, just a little more to the right annnnd…

Crap!

A shadow from his left suddenly loomed and Link, picking up the faint swish of a third blade joining the fray, ducked forwards through the gap opened up between squire and master. Knight to the left of him, squire to the right, he refused to be stuck in the middle with those two.

He retreated to the ring's centre and the squire, bold and enthusiastic to impress, Looked to pursue but was caught by the arm by Halshaw, who addressed the boy sternly yet surprisingly fairly. Could it even be possible that he actually respects someone, let alone someone of a lower social standing than himself?! While unable to catch their whole exchange, he caught what he presumed must be the Squire's name, "Degar" or something to that effect, along with enough to piece together their strategy. He stared them down as their attentions locked back onto him.

His two opponents began stalking him, fanning out to attack from the sides. Link, however, wasn't about to give them that chance to prepare. He simply wanted them far enough apart for him to go in for another attempt at disarming Degar. He almost felt bad for picking on the kid but if he was going to have any chance of finishing this fight on top, necessity demanded a one on one match. Even then the question still remained, if Halshaw alone had complete control over how and when this fight ended, how in Hyrule was he supposed to defeat him? The only option available seemed to be rendering the giant unconscious or otherwise unable to continue. The problem was both these options appeared to lead to the same inevitable conclusion, as he highly doubted Halshaw senior would stand for his son being knocked out or crippled, regardless of justification. His only other choice was to surrender to humiliation and supply the man with the fabricated confession he sought. He wasn't about to consider THAT for a second! Unconsciousness or crippling it was then. He'd just see which was more practical when the time came.

Plan settled, Link darted for Degar off to his right, well aware of Halshaw's lumbering footfalls now rushing up from behind to assist his ward. The clock was ticking down fast on his opportunity. Parry high left, strike high right, parry thrust, there's his lazy guard position, time to…

"Damn it" He mentally cursed as he leapt back, narrowly dodging a bone-breaking slash from Halshaw, that upon missing was then converted to swipe at his knees. Put off balance by the attack, Link staggered backwards and would have been caught had the knight's stature not worked in his favour on this occasion. As the hero had predicted, due to the man's immense height combined with an abundance of muscle, low strikes proved hard to control. The blade struck the dirt and gravel with a deceptively dull thud, throwing up a cloud of dust, which provided the perfect chance to escape.

Acknowledging his fortune, Link wondered whether it may be the chance to do more. Using his stagger as set up, he feigned weariness and clumsily performed a tactical retreat. Rather than presenting his blade to his opponents, he spun on his heel and stumbled away, presenting his unguarded back. The inexperienced Squire, clearly desperate to prove himself, found that bait all but irresistible. Before Halshaw could even raise his weapon, swung with such force it had imbedded itself in the sandy soil below, Link heard the hard crunch of Degar vaulting over the obstruction and chasing after him.

Timing for the next move was critical. It was a risky and complex manoeuvre, so complex in fact that he'd never even tried it before, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Using the swish of Degar's blade as his cue, Link employed a flourish to parry the incoming blow to his exposed back, using the momentum of the flourish itself to assist in spinning him round into an immediate counterattack. The blade didn't hit the squire but it achieved the desired effect… he flinched.

Making the elementary mistake of swatting at the blade itself, Degar opened himself up. Seizing the opportunity, Link, with a simple flick of the wrist, diverted the direction of his attack to give a solid thump on the squire's helmet, not enough to seriously hurt, but enough to temporarily disorientate him. It then took a single swipe to disarm the kid, the weapon skidding a few feet across the gravel. As Degar struggled to recover, Link dashed for the fallen blade. Take his blade and he's out of this fight. Simple…

or it should have been…

His fingers had almost grasped the handle when a cloud of gravel and dust struck him in the face. Hissing in pain, he recoiled, bringing his hand up to his stinging eyes as he coughed and hacked violently. He'd already lost his smell and now his sight was reduced to mere ghostly shadows on white background, the sun insultingly picking that moment to re-emerge from behind the tower. All he had left was his hearing, which was rendered momentarily redundant due to the sympathetic boos from the crowd drowning out the subtle sounds of his opponent's movements. Not that he didn't appreciate their disapproval at such a "dirty" trick as kicking dust in his eyes, but it certainly didn't help him.

A titanic shadow advanced, with a low chuckle and thunderous footsteps, matched by another rumble from the distant oncoming storm. "What's wrong farm boy? I thought you'd like dirt, given that you must have tasted plenty of it when you lay your goats!"

Link, still coughing and blinking feverishly, raised his sword up for to a high guard to protect his head. The blurry shadow before for him shifted, prompting him to swing wildly in the hope of beating away the predicted attack. By some miracle he managed to parry four consecutive strikes, however the fifth, a vicious thrust to the stomach, found its way through. A boot to the chest followed, winding him and he tumbled to the ground, Battered, bruised and wheezing for breath.

The blurred silhouette of Halshaw loomed into view overhead, the man's unrestrained smug laughter grating on his ears and nerves. "Hahaha, so here you are. Finally, you have learned your place…" He kicked Link's ankle hard, prompting a wince from the downed hero as an agonising jolt shot up through his leg. "Now all I need is your confession and I'll call this Holmgang satisfied… or alternatively I could just keep beating you. Personally, I can't understand why you would not be proudly proclaiming your achievement to your comrades. After all, for a runty, charmless, hedge-born goatherder such as yourself, bedding her royal highness, arguable the most illustrious and desired damsel in the kingdom, must seem like a veritable coup and indeed is likely the only action you'll ever get from a woman…" Link was almost glad he'd lost his vision, simply to spare him the sight of Halshaw's insufferable sneer that oozed from every snide remark the knight uttered as he began to circle.

After several revolutions with no reply Halshaw continued "What compels you to silence? Is it loyalty? Is it shame? Did she pity you? Is that it? Did she offer you wealth? A title? Future favours perhaps? Or is it that you are some hopeless romantic who believes that when a woman sleeps with you, it means something to her?!" With each and ever question answered with little to no reaction from his seemingly defeated adversary, his snide smugness faded as his ire reasserted itself.

Nursing his many bruises with the prospect of more appearing inevitable, Link still had no intention to sell Zelda down the river with a fabricated confession, especially to plicate a man like Halshaw. He'd endured far worse and he'd rather face a thousand blows than betray his princess. Even had he wanted to give up though, speech was a luxury that had been temporarily suppressed by yet more bouts of coughing and wheezing, chest aching with each rattling breath taken.

With appeasement off the table, there seemed to be just two options available; Lie there and take the beating or try to get up which would likely incite a worse beating to keep him down. That was until his opponent's rising fury planted the seeds of a plan in his head. Halshaw bore no shame in fighting dirty so why should he?

Slowly… pitifully… he curled up on his side and croaked out a barely audible response that sounded vaguely like "I'm… sorry"

Halshaw stopped mid rant to stare incredulously at the fallen hero. Link could just imagine his immaculate tar hued moustache twitching in consternation. "What?"

"I'm sorry" another pitiful croak.

"Oh you're sorry, are you?" Halshaw sneered, leaning down over Link's head. "For what?"

Link turned his head up to gaze at Halshaw, eyes still bleary, and paused before answering. "This is gonna hurt"

Thwack!

The hero rolled over and struck Halshaw solidly across the jaw with the flat of his blade. The knight stumbled backwards with a bellow of pain and frustration. Seizing the opening, Link dragged himself to his feet, somewhat unsteady as he stood and gingerly tested his injured ankle. Its protests were surprisingly moderate considering the impact but he grimaced at the realisation that his greatest asset now had a severe handicap.

His focus switched to his opposition, both of whom appeared still dazed from the strikes they'd received. He could only presume the squire had a glass jaw to still be out of it. Halshaw, however seemed to be coming to his senses, raising his guard and snarling.

Link responded in kind, minus the animal impression, though he wished his beast side would wake from its slumber for another appearance. Unfortunately, he was left with nothing but his adrenaline to power him through the intense aches plaguing much of his body. Making matters even more dire was the fact his vision, while slowly returning, was far too blurry to follow combat. He'd have to play it by ear… literally.

As a small act of mercy, the crowd had fallen silent, almost eerily so, likely in anticipation of what was sure to be the final showdown. There was a healthy betting community within the ranks when it came to sparring. He ruefully noted that, partially blinded, physically handicapped and vertically challenged, the odds certainly weren't in his favour. Perhaps this would be his humiliation after all.

Focusing his hearing, he caught the crunch of gravel beneath Halshaw's steel boots, the rattling of armour, his pounding heart and his snorting breaths. Off to his right came the groans of the squire and further in the distance, carried on the breeze, the shifting, gurgling waters of the moat, a sky lark calling somewhere in Hyrule fields and yet another rumble from the dark clouds approaching. Then the breeze died and for a moment all was still.

Time to end this!

Link knew the only way he could get past the knights reach advantage was to take the fight to him and beat his way into range before he could even begin to consider the final step. The problem was… he still couldn't see the blade properly. Without its location he couldn't engage effectively, however with every second he waited, the risk of Degar returning to the fray increased. Unfortunately, it seemed Halshaw was aware of this, as he made no move to attack.

He had to act now!

Swiping the air, operating purely on intuition, Link was rewarded with a resounding clang as his blade met resistance. As the resistance stopped, he observed the shifting weight of Halshaw's blurred form and caught a barely audible swish on his right side. Predicting the trajectory of his opponent's manoeuvre, he instinctively parried while stepping forward.

The exchange, which had started out tentative, soon picked up pace and fury. Parry, block, duck, parry, dodge… Relying almost entirely on a combination of his ears and instinctive knowledge of swordplay, Link beat back the bulk of the blows that came his way, avoiding all but one to his already bruised shoulder. For all his valiant efforts though, every step he gained was soon lost again, as Halshaw either forced him back or simply stepped back himself.

"What do you hope to achieve Farm boy! Why continue this futile confrontation? You can't win. Just confess and this will all be over."

Halshaw's taunt was clearly intended to demoralise him, however as the words burrowed into Link's skull it only reinforced his resolve. Something in the words and their tone stirred a part of him, thought lost in the aftermath of his adventures. The unshakable indomitable determination that had defined and driven him as the Hero of Twilight. The unstoppable force of will that had propelled him through countless hazardous situations and to victory over vastly superior adversaries. He knew what he had to do!

He lunged forward ignoring the painful protests from his ankle, letting forth one of his battle cries of old, a sound he'd not unleashed since he defeated Ganondorf himself. "Hiyaaa!" He pushed forward into Halshaw's defences, whaling away at the knight's blade with renewed vigour. Halshaw tried to drive him back as before, however Link simply grit his teeth and took the blows, rather than relinquish his hard-earned ground. The cacophony of steel on steel seemed almost deafening as he finally came within striking distance.

Exhilaration at this achievement, combined with his now steadily returning vision helped dull his many throbbing battle wounds, but the question remained; how would he actually defeat Halshaw? Two strategies sprang readily to mind, coasting on his adrenaline; bring him to his knees and then knock him out, or dislocate his sword arm at the shoulder. He could think of the consequences later.

Before he could pick, Halshaw grabbed his sword arm with his free hand and attempted to force it aside to open a strike at his head. Link winced under the giant's crushing grip and attempted a counter grapple, however with the protests of his battered body and the absence of his beast strength it all seemed in vain.

Wrestling with one opponent, fate appeared to be working against him as he heard the crunching footfalls of the other rushing in his direction. Then the rupee dropped. Two birds one stone!

Link, rather than struggling against the force of Halshaw's arm, suddenly ceased resisting, following the pull while ducking just low enough to avoid the blow to head. Attack dodged, he used his momentum to twist the knights arm back, while simultaneously slamming the pommel of his sword into the man's stomach. The strike, done purely on instinct, would have been a futile gesture given the full body armour… had it struck its intended target. The high-pitched squawk Halshaw released on the impact, reminiscent of a cucoo being strangled mid cluck, made it clear he'd struck rather lower than was honourable.

The beleaguered noble bent double, stumbling drunkenly forwards and continued the cucoo impression between bouts of impromptu windpipe practice. His ward, who'd been charging in to rescue him, skidded as he tried to stop short of his master but it was already to late. Checkmate!

Link, sporting an uncharacteristically devious grin and marvelling at how perfectly lined up the shot was, set his human cannonball lose, sweeping one of Halshaw's legs and shoving him at his squire. The resulting crash, witnessed by Link in glorious slow motion, achieved the contradiction of being uncoordinated yet bizarrely elegant.

Degar, staring in horror at the steel-clad run-away nobleman careening towards him, let rip a shrill howl, attempting to turn and dive out the way. He managed the first act of the manoeuvre with ease. Unfortunately for him, loose gravel combined with his own momentum stole his footing and transmogrified his orientation from the vertical to the horizontal with remarkable speed… and significant pain.

The unstable projectile that was the once venerable Sir Halshaw stumbled perpetually forward, propelled by his own unbalanced weight. His now prostrate squire proved the perfect obstacle to provide him a delightfully undignified deceleration. Clipping the kid's leg, Halshaw was granted a brief and breathless glimpse of the wonders of flight, before an ignominious landing to the sound of a bull in a blacksmiths shop.

Fortunately, he'd managed to avoid crushing Degar beneath him, much to the hero's relief, instead sailing clean over him to where he now lay sprawled, legs either side of the squire's head.

From the duo's accidentally suggestive positions, Link had expected to hear roars of laughter from some of the cruder members of the crowd, however the crowd remained silent. Probably still in shock over what had just transpired. Even he couldn't have predicted this.

As the dust settled and the full realisation of what he'd achieved sunk in, Link hastily hobbled up to his defeated foe, picked up the man's bastard sword and pointed it at his head. "This ends NOW!"

Sir Halshaw, creaked up onto his arms, wheezing and coughing. He first glanced to his fallen squire, before meeting the blade with daggers in his eyes as he rumbled "You think you've won! All your actions have done is prove how low you'll stoop. An honourless hedge-born snipe of the lowest order. Well, this is my Holmgang and it ends WHEN I SAY SO!"

"Actually, Sir Halshaw…" A familiar voice, ever feminine yet commanding, rang from the crowd, and both men's gazes instantly shot to its owner, as she continued curtly "I will be the one to decide when this Holmgang ends…" The Princess was here! Stunned by Zelda's seemingly miraculous materialisation, Link narrowly avoided dropping Halshaw's sword on his injured ankle. As soon as he caught up with the reality of the presence of her royal highness, in the flesh standing before them, he dropped to one knee and bowed deeply.

"Your Highness" He greeted awkwardly, as his brain attempted to fathom how she'd got there without him noticing. For all her magical abilities she possessed, he doubted the ability to appear from thin air was one of them. She could have done it the old-fashioned way but surely… his nose throbbed as if to remind him. Ah yes, how could he forget a possibly broken nose? Probably because there were several other body parts that had it worse. The walking hypothesis would also explain the crowd's uncharacteristic silence… but then how much of their duel did she witness?

"At ease, Gentlemen." Zelda addressed in a proper cordial manner, which was punctuated by what sounded like the collective release of a hundred breaths, along with the shuffling of a legion of steel boots. Link glanced up to meet her gaze and saw the faintest ghost of a smile shine through her formal mask and he couldn't resist returning it rather less subtly as he stumbled back to his feet, slightly ungainly from his weakened ankle. Almost instinctively he surveyed her entire being, revealing her to be back to her normal "regal and stately" purple attire. He couldn't be gladder for her arrival to stop this madness.

"Are you sure that's the only reason you're glad to see her?" Whispered that pesky little rogue voice in his head. Oh, come on, his crush isn't that bad!

"I must congratulate you on your courageous victory. A most impressive and inventive display, one worthy of the history books…" Then she paused dramatically. Her blue orbs, calm and temperate as the water of Lake Hylia, froze over and she turned a piercing gaze to Sir Halshaw, who was in the process of hauling himself up from the floor. "If it weren't for the fact that Holmgangs were banned almost a century ago!"

Well that certainly explained a lot, like why they couldn't find any references of it in the library. Well that was a waste of an evening! He glanced across at the knight, now upright, expecting some barbed comment. Halshaw junior, however, seemed to have learnt from his father's mistake, as he held his viper tongue, instead slathering his words in oily obsequiousness to disguise his contempt. "Well of course you are correct your highness, however technically it was only banned in solving civil disputes. Military Holmgangs were never officially outlawed and thus, given that this was a military Holmgang, no illegal transgression has been made…" A sliver of the knight's true personality shone through "… other than the disruption of a noble's attempt to rectify an injustice."

Zelda didn't bat an eye, wholly unimpressed by his argument and clearly not intimidated by his hulking mass towering head and shoulders above her. With calm stateliness, she ignored his thinly veiled rebuke. "Sir Halshaw, for this to be a military Holmgang, more commonly referred to as a contest of virtue, you would both have had to sign a waiver, you would both bare the same arms and you would both have seconds. Furthermore, only one combatant from each party would be allowed in the ring at any given time. The traditional Holmgang, which your little duel more closely resembled was nothing more than an archaic, barbaric means of nobles justifying revenge against individuals not of noble blood."

Halshaw's unctuousness tone was undermined by his sour expression as he replied "You possess a truly impressive knowledge of military and historical duelling practices, your highness. Nevertheless, with all due respect to your highness's intellect, I feel perhaps that your more… sensitive sensibilities have led you to… misjudge a noble tradition, unfairly maligned by jaundiced scholars."

"I can assure you, Sir Halshaw, I am acutely aware of your "respect" for me, and the various tenuous justifications and half-baked platitudes you are likely preparing to trot out for the necessity and honour of such "traditions". I, however, did not engage this conversation for a tiresome debate on ethics, especially as I already know your answers. The only fact of any bearing on this discussion is your publicly witnessed instigation of a practice that has been banned for a hundred years."

"Well, I would argue, your highness, that the specific rules of Civil Holmgangs were never clearly defined and that the only reason it was banned was because it was sometimes fought to the death. Our duel was, as you are no doubt aware, fought with practice weapons with absolutely no intention of inflicting mortal wound or indeed any major injury whatsoever…" Links bruised body voiced strong wordless disagreement at that particular statement. "As such I have not engaged in any questionable activity…" Halshaw's oiliness morphed to odiousness as, with a sickening smile and smug tone, he sneered "Besides even if I did and you could prove it, you have no direct authority over me in this case. This is military grounds and is a disciplinary matter. Therefore, it falls to the highest of military authorities, the grand general, to ultimately judge me and oh… who would that be? … ah yes my father!"

Zelda's eyebrow quirked in surprise and lowered her voice such that only Halshaw and Link could hear. "So… he did not tell you? My original purpose in coming to the barracks was to announce the news, assuming that you would know but not wish to say. Very well then, listen." With that she turned to the crowd of expectant soldiers, ignoring the knight's poorly disguised befuddlement. "Honourable soldiers of the grand army of Hyrule…" She addressed grandly "Unfortunately, as much as I would like to say it was your warm welcoming nature that brought me, that would be a lie. I have come to bring tidings of events that will affect the future of your noble order. As of this morning, in light of a regrettable incident with the Goron ambassador, Lord Halshaw, grand general of Hyrule, has announced his intention to step down from the post…"

There were murmurs from the crowd, quickly drowned out by a sudden explosion "WHAT?! My father would never relinquish his position willingly! ... You did this!" The knight's smarmy self-satisfaction had disintegrated into a fiery ruin of indignation and confusion.

Zelda, swirled back gracefully to him, remaining placid, seemingly unphased by the man's eruption "I can assure you, Sir Halshaw, no one was more surprised than myself when he announced his intentions, in front of the entire council, following this morning's meeting. Personally, I consider it his most admirable act…"

"Ad..admirable!" Sputtering like a clogged-up drain, the knight appeared dumbfounded, his face contorting and twisting, apparently unable to find an adequate expression.

"Yes. It may be hard to comprehend but admitting to one's mistakes often requires great strength and courage, especially in front of the council. Your father demonstrated both with his decision and proved he possessed a modicum of integrity."

Halshaw opened his mouth as if to protest, but as his eyes caught the audience surrounding them, any plans of voicing his objections apparently died in his throat, his lips pursing without words. After a few seconds pause, he finally responded with a bitter grumble "So who is in line to take on the esteemed position?"

"That has yet to be decided."

Halshaw snorted "Of course. Nobody else had the courage to take the role when my father stepped up in the aftermath of the invasion. I doubt any of those squibs have grown the balls to take it since then. Regardless of what you've done to make him step down, you'll have to reinstate him."

"Actually, since the position opened up there have already been three to voice their interest in the role. Their names, however are not for public discussion. Only the chosen candidate."

"Very well. If you refuse to tell me I'll simply ask my father. Now if there's nothing else, your highness…" He turned and stormed off towards the crowd, which began to part, only to stop as the princess's voice, loud and imperious, rang out from behind.

"Sir Halshaw, where do you think you're going? The matter of your illegal holmgang has yet to be resolved."

The knight summoned some of his early smugness "I believe I already made my case your highness and as I've said, even if my father has stepped down, it is still not within your authority to punish me, unless of course you wish to take this to court. Being that you are supposedly gifted with the wisdom of the goddesses, I'd imagine even one as sheltered as yourself to be able to predict the outcome. After all, I still have some powerful friends…" He let the final line hang in the air "Good day Your Highness"

He performed a mock bow, odious smile painted thick as clown make up across his contemptable visage. He slowly backed away and was about to turn to leave when the princess brought him to a halt with her next line, stern but composed. "While it may not be within my power to punish you officially for this incident, Sir Halshaw, I have other means at my disposal."

"Really, would that involve my reputation, just like my father's!"

"Do not think I am so naïve to miss the reason for this holmgang… even had I not witnessed your impassioned speech back there, knowing the events that have transpired, it's obvious." While her tone remained unchanged, Zelda's body visibly tensed as she stared down the knight.

"Then you must know, I will not concede this matter! Of course, if you were to simply confess and offer an apology then I would consider it settled. My family would be validated and, as you stated earlier, admitting your mistakes takes courage and is to be admired, so I'm sure your citizens would be understanding. At worst it would put you on equal standing with the rest of the ladies of the court. As for the supposed hero of twilight… well…" He met Link's icy glare with his characteristic contempt and a snort like an angry bull.

Link had already been on tenterhooks, watching the debate unfold as a mere impassioned spectator, but Halshaw's attention, though brief, brought immediate tension and he found his hands balling into fists. He slammed his eyes shut and took a few calming breaths. "Just act like you did last time, when it was his father slinging the mud. let Zelda handle it!" he told himself. That proved difficult advice to follow as his gut was urging him to leap into action, to do something, anything to aid the princess. The tense atmosphere was further amplified as the approaching storm began to darken the skies and the ominous rumbles grew more frequent.

"Sir Halshaw, as I told your father, I have nothing to confess. Nothing ignoble occurred that night. We met, we talked and, given my weariness, he graciously offered me a bed for the night, while he slept on a mat in the attic. We could not have been further apart without him moving house! Then in the morning your father, due to his inebriated state, made some very public and highly scandalous false accusations which ended up blowing up in his face. Your father is entirely responsible for the damage to your family name, not me, and not Link!"

"Isn't that tune getting rather tired?!" He scoffed.

"The truth is only tiresome to those who do not wish to hear it. What I find tiring is having to constantly repeat it to the likes of you!..." Anger finally seeping into her previously steady voice, the princess took a pause to regain her composure, glancing briefly across to Link, who tried his best to give his best reassuring nod. The urge in his gut was growing, and if he wasn't mistaken, growing more recognisable. It would seem the beast inside was stirring again.

Reasserting her rigid self-control and dignified sternness Zelda continued "Now you have two choices you can either accept the truth, in which case, I am willing to let you off with the warning that if you ever commit such an act again, I will see to it that charges are brought, regardless of the inconvenience to me or the court. If, however, you persist with your delusional campaign…" The knight tutted dismissively but the princess soldiered on "… then I see no reason to withhold your planned punishment! Furthermore, I would remind you that while it is not a crime to hold a negative opinion about me or any other members of the royal family, any action that could be interpreted as attempting to defame, disrupt or undermine the image or authority of such members can be classed as treason. You are welcome to believe what you wish about me Sir Halshaw, however if you continue to perpetuate falsehoods regarding me or my associations then there will be consequences."

With her speech concluded an eerie silence fell. The breeze had died, calming the waters of the moat and the distant skylark ceased its song. The knight offered no immediate protest. Instead, His cold iron grey eyes attempted to pierce the princess's mask, likely trying to decipher whether her threat was empty words or carried weight. She met his gaze unflinchingly, offering him no hint, the sole scrap of information extractable from her equally frosty disposition being her obvious distaste for the man.

The seconds ticked by as Link and the rest of the gathered spectators waited with bated breath. Shadow fell across the training yard as the sun was caught and slowly consumed by the engorged storm cloud. Moments later, the Stillness was broken by the first visible flash, followed moments later by a menacing boom that cut the silent air. The storm was not yet upon them but Link estimated it would be in less than half an hour till its tumultuous arrival.

Another low rumble, from a throat rather than inclement weather, brought Link back to the conversation. "Okay your highness, I'll make you a deal…"

"This is not a negotiation, Sir Halshaw!" Zelda interjected tersely.

"Well princess, you ARE asking me to believe many inherently questionable things. Firstly you expect me to accept the Hero of Hyrule, chosen by the goddesses, responsible for saving the entire kingdom from an all-powerful supernatural force… is HIM!..." He jabbed his finger in Link's direction "Then, I am to believe that your highness apparently fought alongside him, with bow and arrow on horseback to help defeat this great threat." His voice began to ascend in pitch and in pace as he tried to play up the implausibility to something verging on hysteria. "Thirdly but no less absurdly I am to accept that you and this hero met up at midnight, simply for a little comradely chat, before sleeping separately… in the hero's house… a house built into a tree…" He let out a short clownish trill of laughter. "How much separation can you get in a tree? Oh, I'm sorry your highness, just getting a little carried away **Ahem…** Anyway all I would require for me to believe this entire scenario is for you to prove that you possess the skills to accomplish your self-proclaimed feat of valour. Your Highness, I am willing to drop this "campaign" and indeed, accept any punishment you give me, without protest… if you can beat me in a contest of archery, right here, right now."

There was a new silence, altogether different from the last. The crowd were stunned. Link was hit by a sudden feeling of dread. He'd witnessed the man's prowess with a sword but, word had it, he was even better at archery… plus being him there was bound to be some trick, some stitch up he would play just to get ahead. Surely Zelda would know that? Surely it was an easy decision. Just turn him down and use his crusade as an excuse to look him up. It's not like anyone would miss him!

There was another angry flash chased by its accompanying fanfare from above.

"It would seem that the weather will soon be upon us, Sir Halshaw."

"Come now, your highness. Surely even you can loose four arrows before it arrives."

There was a pause as the princess glanced pensively at the dark anvil looming overhead.

"Hmmm. Standard Butt rules?" she asked.

"Standard Butt rules. To the letter, as you would wish it. A perfectly fair contest." Halshaw said with the ingratiating smile that would make a snake oil salesman jealous.

There was no way that Zelda would fall for such an obvious…

"Very well. I accept…" Link's jaw dropped. all Zelda's following words were lost in a haze of consternation and disbelief. What in Hyrule was she thinking?!

"Marvellous, I knew we could come to an amicable accord. Now as you so astutely pointed out your highness, the weather is closing in so we must make haste." Halshaw strode towards the thoroughly bemused and animated crowd of soldiers, who haphazardly parted, the princess following behind as they made their way to the other side of the training yard where the archery range could be found. The shocked hero snapped from his stupor and hobbled off in pursuit, once again reminded of the extent of his beating.

As they reached the range, Zelda gave a brief instruction to Neela, who's presence Link had been completely oblivious to until then. Inaudible message delivered, the handmaiden dashed off and the princess turned to inspect her "Butt".

The hero had to admit, he'd originally dismissed "Butt" to be some puerile soldier's humour when Borri had first revealed the name of the earth mounds on which the targets were mounted. From his current side on view it was easy to see why, yet this revelation failed to illicit even a wry smile, given his knotted nerves attempting to drag his stomach to his boots. The inner beast was groggy and seemingly just as baffled as he was to his princess's foolhardy decision. And where had her animosity gone? She had previously worked to disguise it but it had still stained her pristine princessly mask. Now she was acting like this was an amicable game between acquaintances, too distant to harbour any ill will!

"I take it, Sir Halshaw, this being a traditional 4 arrow contest, that you as the host will loose the first arrow?" she enquired nonchalantly.

"Of course, your highness. You are clearly well versed in archery tradition." Came the knight's cloying reply. The insincerity of the man's manner was almost enough to set Link, already slightly nauseous from trepidation, retching into his helmet.

"I do hope you aren't patronising me?" The young royal asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice. Oh great, so she hadn't lost her memory or her animosity.

"Meeee! Never your highness"

Another distant angry flash drew their attention in the direction of the barracks, just as degar, who'd completely slipped Link's mind, emerged carrying two long bows. Zelda's mask cracked at the sight, apparently taken aback. Why?

"You need not supply me with a bow, I was just about to summon my own."

"But your highness, surely it hasn't slipped your mind. Standard rules dictate all competitors are uniformly armed and I recall, not to long ago, you made a most eloquent case for following rules." The knight couldn't restrain a sly smirk.

Zelda blinked in uncharacteristically gormlessness, sending Link's already nervous mind reeling. How could she have not seen this coming?! Had it really just "slipped her mind"? Even he knew that basic rule, one of the main reasons he disliked the standard butt archery contests so much. The same reason the princess gaze carried the hint of trepidation seeping through her normally unshakable composure as she took in the weapon presented to her. The Longbow was a formidable weapon but not for the faint of heart. Link was the only man his size among the ranks to possess the sufficient strength to wield it, and even then, it was far from comfortable. To Zelda, it would be like trying to pull her own carriage! That thing could break her in half! Yet, to his utter dismay, he had no means to intervene. He couldn't protect her from her own folly. She'd have to save herself.

She tried at least…

"You asked me for a demonstration of how I defeated Ganondorf. I simply wished for said demonstration to be as authentic as possible."

"Ah, but you never agreed to an authentic re-creation of a battle. I made my deal quite clear, your highness. Standard Butt rules. To the letter. You would not go back on your word, would you?" Zelda had no riposte, prompting the insufferable smirk to widen. "Besides, what is one bow to any other…" Link glowered at the smug prick. There were plenty of differences, major and minor, between weapons even of the exact same style and he knew it! The frustrated hero ground his teeth as he suppressed voicing his objection, in case it made matters worse. He could only glare on as the knobbish knight continued "Surely someone with your warrior's acumen would have no trouble adjusting, unless of course you are suggesting that there is something special about this particular bow, something that made up for some inadequacy…" Halshaw paused but again received no reply from the princess. "Well then your highness, as you so astutely pointed out, time is of the essence so it would gratify me as your humble subject if you would take your bow and we can begin."

With clear reluctance, Zelda took the bow from the squire and examined it. its size was brought into sharp relief as she held it vertically. Grasping it tightly in both hands, she planted one end on the ground and rested her head on the other. She closed her eyes and seemed to be muttering under her breath. Was she praying?! Link's stomach gave another horrible lurch at the thought of such a public display of desperation. This had to be some sort of catastrophe, one which Halshaw was clearly revelling in, based on his almost gleeful expression.

"Beseeching the goddesses, your highness? I'm afraid they will do you no good. This is my arena. Not even they could defeat me."

"I do not require their assistance, Sir Halshaw however I would advise against mocking them. Have you not heard the old adage of a woman scorned?"

"I meant no offense, your highness, to either you or the goddesses." As if the goddesses themselves were scoffing at his derision, a fork of lightning snaked across the approaching wall of cloud, chased by another reverberating roll of thunder. "We must make haste!"

They each moved to their positions. Halshaw was strident, giving the impression he would be walking on air if not for his earlier injury. The princess, meanwhile, had lost her characteristic ability to float, her poorly concealed dismay tethering her to the ground and constraining her to the mortal way of traversal known as walking.

Upon reach their marks, where Degar had just finished depositing quartet of arrows each, they turned their gazes to their targets 60 yards away, one with smarmy self-satisfaction, the other with trepidation. Two earth mounds, four feet high, referred to as butts, supported two circular targets, each comprising of five coloured rings to aid with scoring.

Halshaw, being first, wasted no time nocking the premier arrow of the contest and drew the string back with ease. As he stood, bow drawn with a casual air, affording himself a smug sideways glance at the princess, the stark contrasts of their stature's and dispositions couldn't be clearer. The knights bow appeared significantly smaller due to their comparative sizes. For the man who'd just moments before insisted they made haste, he seemed more than willing to waste precious seconds showing off.

Finally satisfied with his muscle exhibition, he loosed his arrow… to equally impressive results. The arrow flew fast and true, imbedding with a mighty thud just outside of the bullseye. 4 points to the knight! It was testament to how little respect the ranks held for him that such a shot only earned him a smattering of polite applause, much to Link's approval.

Then all eyes turned to the pensive princess and the crowd fell into respectful silence, anticipating her display. Many among the regiments had heard of her prowess, from those who witnessed her masterclass in Ordon and from the hero who fought alongside her. It was fair to say though, that they were probably well aware of the challenge facing the young royal in even drawing a longbow. The atmosphere was electric, and not just from the storm. Link just hoped that his comrades were willing her on as much as he was.

"Come on Zelda! You can do it! You can do it!" He repeated in his head, though his rational mind considered it futile.

If Zelda was aware of the hundred eyes fixated intently on her, she didn't show it as her gaze never left the target, only breaking to blink. She focused her breathing and nocked an arrow. Now to see what was possible…

Her audience waited…

And waited…

Halshaw had just opened his obnoxious hole in his face, when the princess finally tugged string with all her might. The string inched back and the princess's entire delicate frame shuddered violently. Nevertheless, with valiant perseverance the bow string crept back as she continued to strain from the tension, her usually beautiful and composed visage contorting with the effort.

Link willed her on with his mantra until it was almost fully drawn, much to his astonishment. That alone was worthy of praise.

Zelda loosed her arrow and any hope her miraculous draw had produced evaporated into the electrically charged air. She hit her target… barely.

"1 point, your highness! I'm impressed."

It was with little hesitation or fanfare that the knight nonchalantly drew his second arrow and released. With ruthless efficiency it found the bullseye, marked with another flash of lightning as the darkness loomed closer. Another 5 points.

Link was the first to flick his gaze back to the princess, as another rumble cracked through the ripple of polite applause, only to see her once again lift her head from her bow, eyes fluttering open while her lips finished another silent whisper. Had she been praying again? At this moment the only way he could see the goddesses intervening would be to accelerate the weathers inevitable approach. Then at least, there would be reason to abandon the contest. Droll rumination aside he turned his attention back to the princess.

Determination emanating from every delicate pore of exposed ivory skin, prickled with Goosebumps in the subtle chill of the storm, Zelda tried again. It would seem that the second prayer had achieved something. While still noticeably straining, the princess appeared far less beleaguered than on her first attempt. Link held his breath for her. This time surely…

3 points! While it was certainly an improvement it wasn't enough, especially as the knight promptly responded with yet another bullseye. Maths wasn't Link's strongest suit but, by his calculations, the best Zelda could possibly hope for was a draw. Even that required her to score two bullseyes of her own, with the addition of Halshaw completely missing his final shot. This knowledge certainly didn't calm the beast within that ran restless circles in his stomach as it sought a way to help.

Zelda, meanwhile, took one of her characteristic braids and tucked it behind her ear. Her blue orbs, just visible from her profile, jumped from the arrow in her gloved hand to the target and back again. The third arrow was nocked clinically, with renewed focus and soon sailed into an impressive bullseye, met with enthusiastic cheers.

Great… but she was still 5 points behind!

Her fate ultimately rested with Halshaw's next shot. Link prayed for a perfectly timed thunderbolt to interrupt the man's concentration, however he had a backup plan, albeit a crude and unsubtle one.

Unwilling to place his faith in the goddesses on this occasion, he watched and waited as the knight drew back for the final time and then as the string reached its limited… he coughed!

His noble efforts were in vain as another thud marked a third consecutive bullseye, although the arrow came dangerously close to striking one of its neighbours. It was one of the tightest, most consistent clusters of arrows anyone had ever seen.

Link's little distraction attempt earned him a glance from Halshaw that just said "Really?!" He received similar glances from some of his comrades. Zelda, on the other hand, gave him a somewhat unexpected response. She made sure to catch his gaze and then winked, displaying the hint of a smile, that, by her twitching lips was threatening to become more than that. What did she have to smile about? He'd failed and she'd lost!

Her eyes, gleaming with sudden inexplicable confidence and intense concentration, turned back to her last arrow. She licked her lips. She nocked the terminal projectile and drew back the bow, straining yet dignified. Then in a fluid motion she swung to her left and released. What was she doing?!

The arrow's flight was clean and graceful as it raced towards its objective. Link had just enough time to realise its target before the arrow struck… cleaving diagonally through the shafts of Halshaw's trio of bullseyes, shattering them into multiple pieces. A truly magnificent display of archery if ever there was one but he couldn't fathom the point of it. The crowd seemed too stunned to respond.

Even Halshaw appeared to be having difficulty comprehending the shot the delicate princess had just achieved with apparent ease. His mouth opened and closed without speech as his iron grey gaze flicked from his tattered target to Zelda and back. He strode up to the butt to give the aftermath closer inspection, still struggling to believe it. He bent down to pick up a remnant and turned it in his hand.

Another fork, more dramatic than any before, streaked directly overhead accompanied simultaneously be its thunderous clap, informing all present that the storm had arrived and it was but a matter of time before it dropped its heavy payload.

"I must admit, your highness, that was a legitimately impressive shot…" Wait, was Halshaw genuinely complimenting the princess? "…if a rather petty one, assuming destroying my arrows was your intention. Regardless, it does nothing to change the fact that I have won…"

Zelda cut him off, her prim and proper demeanour returning, tainted with the faintest hint of smugness. "And how do you reach that conclusion, Sir Halshaw?"

"Well, er, Its blatantly obvious. I scored 19 points to your 9."

The princess wrestled to conceal the amused satisfaction from her rebuttal "On the contrary, standard butt rules dictate that only undamaged arrows can be counted, of which only one is present on your target."

The knight gaped for a moment, rendered temporarily speechless. When he finally regained his voice, it was a sonorous roar of indignation "Because you broke them! And don't you dare deny it!"

"I wouldn't dream of denying such a marvellous feat."

"So you admit you cheated!" The man's face puffed with fiery fury, as if stoked by a pair of blacksmith's bellows concealed in his sharp cheekbones.

Prim and nonchalant, Zelda laid out her defence, though her eyes sparkled with delight as she basked in her nemesis' seething indignation. she wasn't alone in enjoying it. "Firstly, you are assuming that such an action is prohibited within the rules of standard butt contests. Furthermore, it can hardly be considered cheating when said action is far more challenging than normal competitive manoeuvres."

"But it IS prohibited!" Halshaw interjected hotly

"Incorrect. A competitor may not directly damage or interfere with another's arrows by means of removing or breaking, with hands, knifes, hammers or other manual implements. It says nothing, however, of competitors using an arrow, loosed from their bow at range, to deliberately damage those of an opponent. What's more, there are several records of such tactics being legitimately employed by the lauded archer Phineas Foxworth, widely considered to be the greatest archer of his day."

"I don't believe any of that for a second!"

"I thought you might say that, which is why I instructed my handmaiden to fetch my copy of the historical treaties in which the rules are laid out…" She glanced skywards as another rumble rent the air "…although you may wish to continue this indoors"

"Oh no, Your Highness, we are settling this, here and now!"

"Well then, we will have to… Ah, she has arrived. Greetings Neela, I see you found it." The handmaiden hurried forth, carrying a fairly substantial tome, which she handed to Zelda before curtseying and assuming a position behind her. "You wanted evidence, Sir Halshaw. I present to you "Combat and Civility: A knightly compendium", probably among the most comprehensive volumes on ritual, ceremonial and tournament combat you will ever find. Now if you will excuse me a moment while I find the relevant passage..."

It was as the princess began to flick through the pages that Link had an epiphany. If she had sent Neela for the book before the contest even began then the inescapable conclusion was… it had been her plan all along! It was certainly a bold plan but also treacherously risky. How could she be so confident of its success? Did she have any sort of plan B or had she just gambled her reputation on a trick shot?

These questions spun in his brain as Zelda launched into her evidence, her recitation not penetrating his whirlwind of ponderings. While her voice, ever calming is it was, helped sooth his turbulent thoughts, one contemptable word drifting to his ears instantly shattered the spell.

"Bitch…" muttered a low sonorous voice. He whirled round to see Halshaw, still by his target, glowering at the princess with barely suppressed hatred.

Every muscle in Link's body tensed. His hair stood on end. Feral instinct stirred inside.

"Lying little harlot…"

His fists and jaw clenched. All his senses locked onto Halshaw. The crowd and the storm faded from senses and thought. Zelda's voice, the sole thing keeping him sane

"Scheming witch…"

Hunger gnawed at his stomach and a red mist descended on his vision.

"C***…"

Link flinched as though struck by a physical blow, his cranium not willing to accommodate such a word within its walls. Zelda's voice was consumed by a ringing in his ears. He was losing control! He bared his teeth but did not move.

Halshaw's Lips produced more bile but Link couldn't hear it. That didn't stop him shaking with rage. His red tunnel vision locked onto the knight's hands, also clenched into tight fists… and was that…

Something small and sharp poked out from Halshaw's gauntleted fingers. Dangerous! Zelda must be protected! One wrong move and…

Halshaw stepped forward, hateful eyes fixated on Zelda.

Link suddenly found himself locked out of his own bodily control, becoming a spectator in his own head. He could see he was charging forward yet he had no sensation. Lighting flashed and Halshaw's mouth moved, yet his ears caught neither thunder nor bile. His many bumps and bruises were likely yelling at him to stop yet their pleas never reached him.

lips parting, emitting a cry he couldn't hear, Link suddenly found himself leaving the ground, sailing towards the knight's head. His target, previously oblivious to the impending doom, finally registered his approach, rounding on him, baring the visage of a petrified catfish; whiskers quivering, mouth gaping and eyes virtually popping from his head.

Time appeared to take a nap…

As his gauntleted fist clocked the surprised noble's jaw with supreme force, sending shockwaves shooting up his arm, sensation and control was restored to their rightful owner. Unfortunately, the wild usurper hadn't left said owner in the best condition or position. Soaring through the air, ankle, arm and hand all screaming in agony, he found himself hurtling towards Halshaw's "Butt", even as the nobleman himself toppled like a plank of wood. Avoiding a direct collision, Link's injury ankle caught the brim, with excruciating results, as his world was turned on its head.

The ground raced up to greet him.

This was going to hurt!

Indeed it did…

For a second before all went black.


	17. Bed Rest and Broken Thoughts

**A.N: Sorry for the delay, dear readers. Unfortunately, the holiday season rather got in the way of this one's progress. Anyway another chapter is finally finished. Hope everyone's still enjoying it. After all the "high octane" action of the last chapter, prepare for a slower time as Link gets a dose of "reality".**

**As always feedback is appreciated. **

**Chapter 16 – Bed rest and broken thoughts**

He drifted through darkness on a cloud of blurred sensations, guided by some imperceptible wind. Sometimes the sensations were pleasant, often punctuated by bursts of light that danced around him like fireflies, while others were painful. The most pervasive though was numbness, sheer all-encompassing numbness!

Eternity seemed to stretch out before him, as he was occasionally visited by flashes of memories, dreams or nightmares, many just as indecipherable as the inaudible whispers that briefly reached his ears above the high-pitched ringing that dominated his soundscape. Across seemingly immeasurable time, the memories began to piece themselves together and the numbness gave way to ever growing pain.

Scenes fell into place, slowly but surely revealing a mosaic of his past, both recent and old, in his mind's eye, plastering over the featureless blackness that had once consumed it. As the images built off each other, comprehension finally dawned on him… or so he thought. He'd been in a fight with a giant… but why? And who was this giant? His mental mosaic concealed the man's face in shadow.

A bone chilling laugh ripped through the mental malaise and Link froze, pain increasing by magnitudes as a clear image finally emerged. A giant, clad in ornate armour and wielding a massive blade, loomed ahead of him. Searing red coals, blazing with hatred, were matched by hair and beard the colour of molten lava, all of which highlighted the sickly greyness of the man's skin that twisted into a malevolent sneer.

Then the rest of the scene came into focus and the full weight of his memories came crashing down upon him. The Giant's name was Ganondorf and his image alone made Link's blood run cold. Ganondorf sat astride his horse on a hill above them, casting a surreally large shadow across the rolling field in the harsh orange glow of the twilight, as if he possessed dominion over light itself. Then with another malicious laugh he held up something for Link to see… but it wasn't Midna's crown. It was Midna herself, caught by the neck, seemingly immobile but still breathing, her small chest rising and falling erratically.

Link tried desperately to move, yet his inexplicable pain kept him rooted to the spot. Horror overtook him as the imp's body began to twitch violently in Ganondorf's tightening grasp. In the eerie orange half-light, he could do nothing but bear witness to his friend and companion's last rattling wheezing breaths before a grotesque crunch crushed the last of her life essence and her fragile body lolled limply in the clutches of his nemesis. Link trembled yet the sole muscle that responded to his calls to was his vocal cords, releasing a piercing scream of terror, despair and anger, watching the dark lord cast off Midna's lifeless body like a ragdoll.

Ganondorf turned his attentions to Link, who felt a sudden fervent tug on his arm. "Link, I am too weak to use my powers! I need your help! Please Link, please you're my only hope!" Zelda pleaded and implored in feverish panic, yet he could not respond no matter how he wished to. Her fearful pleas tugged at the remnants of his already mangled heart, compelling action. He couldn't bear to hear such fear from her, yet his entire body remained impotent by inexplicable excruciating pain, combined with some unworldly force seemingly puppeteering him. The puppeteer sought to torture him, having him simply stare blankly at the Dark Lord, now descending upon them on his demonic stead, as the princess continued to beg in vain. As Ganondorf drew closer to them, she began to cry, the most heart wrenching sound he could ever imagine, all while he stood still as a stump, helpless. Why couldn't he do anything? Why was he such a coward? Why couldn't he help her?

The horse struck, sending him flying and robbing his lungs of air, as he tumbled to the ground. The impact seemed to have cut his puppet strings, yet agonising jolts from one ankle rendered him equally as helpless, floundering on the dead grass. He regained his orientation, only to witness Zelda, dress tattering and head bleeding, crawling away from the Dark Lord who dismounted and strode after her. She cried out for Link, her hero, the one who's duty it was to protect her, yet it was futile. He watched as Ganondorf pinned her under his foot, eliciting a ear-piercing scream from her, that in turn brought out a maleficent chuckle. With the princess squirming and crying beneath his boot, the sky turned red and Ganondorf glanced across to the fallen hero. He turned his blade to point at the defenceless princess's back and smiled. "Behold your failure." He sneered and plunged the blade in.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Link woke with a jolt, pulse racing, breathing heavily and painfully, sweat dripping down his brow as he frantically scanned his unfamiliar near pitch-black surroundings. Damn it! He thought he'd finally freed himself from those nightmares a month back. He was glad that his cries never escaped from his nightmares to the real world, particularly when he realised his probable location. His many intense aches and bruises quickly brought his real memories flooding back, including his real battle with a different giant, namely Sir Halshaw, that led him here, to what he could only assume was the infirmary.

Accepting Halshaw's challenge had been a monumental blunder and yet it was the princess's wellbeing that concerned him far more than his own, even as every organ and limb of his body cried out for sympathy. In the inky blackness, the sights and sounds of the nightmare pasted themselves over the barren nothingness and he shuddered. Midna's lifeless corpse, Zelda's soul shattering cries and Ganondorf's final line… "Behold your failure."

It was how the nightmares had always been. Ganondorf never gave him the mercy of finishing him first. Indeed, the idea of his own death didn't really scare him half as much as Midna's or Zelda's. Did he even care what happens to himself? He couldn't answer.

Finding himself facing a darkness far more foreboding than that which physically enveloped him, he chose to flee to the relative safety of taking in his new surroundings, now that his eyes were beginning to adjust to the gloom. His nose had clearly recovered as he took in various concoctions laced with such aromas as Parsley, Wormwood and rather disturbingly… turpentine! The faint smell of burning wick and melting wax drifted from his right, and the source flickered in the periphery, the sole light in the dark.

The pitch-black blanket across much of the room informed him it was obviously night, though no clue as to precise time or even date presented themselves. Hopefully he'd only been out a few hours rather than a few days. A row of beds, modest yet clearly more comfortable than his ropey excuse for a bunk back at the barracks, lined the far wall. Glancing either way presented an identical arrangement on his side of the room. At the end of the room to his left, there was a simply decorated stain glass window that distorted the rain drops streaking down the outside, accompanied, he now noticed, by the faint pitter patter on the vaulted roof above. The room was reminiscent of a chapel and just as quiet, the only other sounds being his own decelerating pulse and breathing and, to his right, the scratching of a quill, accompanied by the life signs of its wielder, his sole company. He twisted his head, with considerable discomfort, to observe a lady, illuminated by two candles, scribbling frenetically in a massive tome.

Shuffling to get a better angle, he unintentionally announced his conscious presence, with a creak of the bed. The middle-aged woman, round of both face and body, raised her warm brown eyes to peer at him, over the rim of a pair of wire framed spectacles. "Ah, look who's come round…" She said with a smile that didn't quite match her stern tone, placing the quill back into its residing inkwell with clinical precision and a click of her tongue.

Picking up one of her candles, the only illuminations in the room, she rose from her seat and approached, gathering up some of the folds of her plain bluey grey dress in her free hand. "Greetings, I am Matron Cicile and as you may or may not have realised, you are currently in the castle infirmary, following an unfortunate incident…" Her brusqueness initially rubbed him the wrong way. Drawing closer however, the dancing yellow glow brought into sharp relief the bags under her eyes that hung the weight of weariness on her smile and, given the likely lateness of the hour, he decided he could forgive a little brusqueness. "Rest assured you are safe now and, providing you follow my instructions or those of your nurse…" She broke off briefly and he just caught her mutter "when they actually bother to attend" under her breath before continuing "…you should make a full recovery. Now how are you feeling?" She asked, slightly less terse and approaching genuine sympathy.

Given the matron's temperament, Link decided to forgo a sarcastic response despite its potentially catharsis. His head pounded with every thought, his chest ached with every breath, his wrist stung with every movement and his ankle throbbed regardless. That was discounting his various other bumps and bruises. "Like I just lost of a fight with a giant."

"Hmm, that's certainly not what I heard. Do you remember what happened?"

Link did remember, although he couldn't explain all of it. "Yeah, it's rather hard to forget something like that. Why?"

"You did strike your head quite hard. Memory loss is not unheard of in such circumstances."

"Well I do remember. Thank you"

"I'm glad to hear it, as I'm sure her highness will be too. Now do you have any numbness?"

"No."

"Dizziness?"

"No, although really I wont know until I get up" He attempted to push himself up, in spite of his protesting limbs but was quickly stopped by the Matron's swift and severe admonishment.

"That is absolutely out of the question! In your condition I expect you to stay in that bed for at least the next 5 days minimum, and I will not accept any of your soldier excuses. Believe me, I've heard them all."

5 Days! He often struggled to stay in bed for 5 hours, let alone 5 days! That revelation hurt almost as much as his head did. He slumped back into his pillow with a groan. "So how bad is the damage?"

"One of the worst I've seen after a fight with Sir Halshaw, although just how much of It was a result of the fight rather than your reckless stunt to impress the princess is hard to say…"

"Reckless stunt… to impress Zelda?!"

"Yes, I can hardly think of a better way of describing performing a running jump on a weakened ankle to punch a man twice your height, simply cos he was rude to her."

"I had to protect her!" Link barked indignantly.

"Now, now I didn't mean to start an argument. There's no reason for upset. You are by no means the first young man I've tended to after some noble, if misguided, gesture to impress the princess, or defend her honour or however you wish to call it. There's no shame in…"

"I wasn't defending her honour, I was savi…" He began his ardent defence only for the full implication of the words to catch his pain ridden brain unawares. "Wait, there are men trying to impress the princess?!" He blurted, mouth running on ahead of rational thought

"Of course, however I'll only tell you if you agree to calm down. You have suffered severe injuries and getting agitated will not help either your recovery or my patience. I had been looking forward to an easy day, however the arrival of you and your… comrade turned it into a long and tiring one…" She paused her stern rebuke and gave a beleaguered sigh. "I apologise if I appear harsh, but I really should be home with my family…" with another sigh she gave a brief wistful glance towards the window and the gentle patter of the rain in the night.

"I'm sorry" Link mumbled ruefully.

"I'll forgive you on one condition…"

"Yes?"

"You promise to follow my instructions without protesting. So, if I say you need to stay in bed for five days, you stay in bed five full days. Understood."

"That's asking a lot… but I'll try my best."

"Hmm I suppose that will have to do." She gave a crooked smile and her tone softened. "I've learnt to expect as much from young soldiers. Very well, do you still wish for an answer"

Link nodded slowly, though he instantly regretted it, partly from the pain and partly because his rational side was telling him not to. A jolt shot through his neck and he winced. Receiving a concern frown from the nurse, he did his best to assuage her. "I'm alright, I'm alright"

"Ok" She didn't seem convinced but decided to leave it be and instead give him the explanation he was already regretting asking for. "Frankly I'm surprised that you're so shocked. After all, the princess is powerful, wealthy and is widely considered to be among the most beautiful ladies in the kingdom. More than that, it is her duty to marry as it's the only way for her to become queen and, of course, whoever married her would become king. With such prospects, it's hardly surprising she's swamped with suitors vying for her hand, though having met some of them, I don't envy her choice."

Link barely managed to restrain pulling the face of a man who'd just received a platter of Zora spiced squid when they'd ordered beef steak. Why did that news conjure such a sour taste in his mouth? It wasn't like he had any claim to her. It was the crush, wasn't it? Goddesses, this crush brought forth such stupidity. The sooner he exorcised it the better. Time to get this conversation back on track.

"**Ahem** anyway back to the real point…" he started with his best air of disinterest, only to spy the look on the matron's face. It spelling out in bold letters "You're not fooling anyone, don't think I didn't spot that!", prompting another internal groan. He shouldn't have asked about the suitors. Now she'll have completely the wrong idea. "look, I didn't punch Halshaw for Zelda's honour. I did it to save her life."

"Save her life?"

"Yes! I saw that bastard had something sharp in his hand and he was heading for the princess! I had to act."

The matron's thin lips twitched and her wiry chestnut brows met in cooperative disbelief. "So, you're suggesting that Sir Halshaw intended to walk up and stab her royal highness in front of over a hundred of her loyal legion. Come now, I know some among the nobility can be cocky and some dislike Her Highness, but none would be that foolhardy or treacherous. Besides the only thing he had in his hand was ground up wood splinters from a broken arrow."

A broken arrow? Then the rupee dropped with the shame of a hundred days of the "Bernard haircut" and he cursed his own stupidity. He'd seen Halshaw pick it up, yet in his rage filled haze, it had completely slipped his mind, not that his mind even had much input by that point anyway. Nevertheless, wooden splinters weren't completely harmless. They could be downright annoying if caught in the wrong places. Plus, the man was crazy, who knew what he'd do! Not to mention he was the personification of the nob in nobility. There you go! Punching him was still entirely justified!

"Well as far as I was concerned, he was dangerous and mad. Who knew what he would do." Link countered.

"No matter how mad, I think we can rule out treason. Thanks to your "defence" of her Highness, I finally had the immense displeasure of meeting the man responsible for a sizable number of my patients…"

"Then surely you got a taste of how mad he is?"

Cicile shook her head. "Mad… no. While I would agree he's a despicable blaggard, short of both temper and good manners, he did not strike me as mad or a fool. Certainly not enough to commit treason in clear view of hundreds of witnesses or to even consider such a thing. Now if you are looking to justify your actions to me, there's no need. I am not here to judge you. I am here to treat you, and as far as my medical opinion is concerned, this topic is not healthy as it clearly agitates you."

Link's head may have been pounding, as if trampled by King Bulbin's Boar, but that didn't dull his mind enough to miss the hypocrisy of her statement of not judging him. What had she just been doing if not judging him? He ultimately decided to let it slide simply to avoid another argument. She wanted to change topic. Ok, how about actually answering his original question! "Alright then. How bad are my injuries?"

"Pretty severe, however fortunately for you, hero, her highness holds you in high regard already…" Link could fill in the blanks enough to read the additional unspoken line of "without your crazy stunt". What struck him most was the realisation that this was the first time the matron had used his hero title and she'd yet to use his name. She continued "… and was willing to assist with your healing. Had she not, the injuries would have probably meant the end of your military career. When you arrived you had…" She took a deep breath as if preparing to burst into song "… a fractured arm, a broken wrist, two cracked ribs, two broken toes, a broken ankle and a broken nose, along with numerous minor cuts and bruises…"

Damn! That explains why he felt like he'd just rolled down death mountain naked… Hey, wait a minute… why was he in nothing but his drawers and a bed sheet?! "Hey, what happened to my clothes?!" He blurted, tugging the bedsheet up.

"Well, as I was about to say, Her Royal Highness used her magic to help heal the worst of those injuries, however apparently such spells did not work through your clothes…" Link was grateful to the low light for concealing the blush that followed. Zelda had seen him practically naked! The matron, seemingly oblivious to his embarrassment, continued sternly "Now before you complain about why it still hurts; she was only able to speed up your bone regrowth. She could do little to heal the swelling which is why it will likely be painful for the next month. As to your bones, Her royal highness informed me that they will still take 5 days to fully heal, so you can consider those 5 days an order from her highness herself." She paused and her tone mellowed, coming closer to the natural warmth he'd initially glimpsed in her weary brown eyes. "Even if duty to your royal sovereign doesn't compel you, perhaps advice from a friend will."

Link blinked, a little taken aback. Unsure whether it was wise to admit it, particularly with fiasco that their friendship seemed to have wrought since it was proclaimed back in Ordon, he decided to play dumb. "A friend?"

"Her royal highness." She responded placidly, though her knowing smile told him the jig was up. The question was how did she know and just how close did she think they were? Please don't say Halshaw convinced her something was going on between them!

"What makes you think that a man like me could possibly be friends with Zelda, a princess?" He tried to evade, despite intuition warning him of its futility.

"Well she certainly cares about you, and I'd say your actions speak for themselves. You're clearly on a first name basis, given how easily you let it slip without her title." Her knowing smile widened, revealing the laughter lines and crinkles round her eyes that had been notable absent until now.

Damn she was right! Something to watch out for in future, if he didn't want rumours running rampant. He turned his attention back to the matron and tried to glean some clue as to her inevitable judgement on their friendship. What he could gather surprised him. "You don't disapprove?" He asked cautiously.

"No" she answered earnestly with a shake of her head, causing her spectacles to slip ever so slightly down towards the tip of her small nose. "I have not been honoured with her highness's presence on many occasions, however there have been times, particularly in the immediate aftermath of the… invasion, where she sacrificed her sparse moments of freedom to aid those at the infirmary. During those times, not only did I truly come to see her wisdom, her compassion and her kindness, but also, I caught a glimpse of another side of her. One she desperately tries to bury, but as a mother of two… er, a daughter…"

Her eye flickered to the window, the steady pitter patter of the rain filling in the silence as she stared off into the sombre darkness. In the solitary flickering flame of the candle her profile cracked as shadows scratched her brows with wrinkles and her eye seemed to sink into their sockets, consumed by inky black. Link caught the tremor in her voice and draw a seemingly inescapable conclusion. Nightmare Ganondorf's words echoed in his mind "Behold your failure". Did he fail her daughter? The grief touched woman clearly wished to avoid such a question as she gulped hard and continued, the tremor still cracking her, previously steady, alto tones. "… it's taught me to read the signs of young ladies' hearts and through all her composure and compassion, I saw… that her highness was terribly lonely. I also saw how she looked at you. Given the kindness she has shown me, I wouldn't deny something that clearly offered her some peace from her own troubles…"

For all her previous shirtiness with himself, Link was left in no doubt of her reverence for their young ruler, which made it surprising that she could be so candid with Zelda's loneliness. Before he had any chance to dwell on the implications, Matron Cicile offered an enigmatic warning. "I would however say… don't crossing the line."

Link strongly suspected he knew the line she was speaking of but he nevertheless decided to fish for clarification. "The line?" He queried.

Clearly aware of his intentions, her eyes narrowed and she regained some of her earlier sternness, though it was thankfully tempered by the far kinder spirit that he sensed lay beneath the world worn and weary exterior. "Yes, the line that Sir Halshaw spent half his words trying to insinuate you'd already crossed."

Link was about to launch into defence when her next line allayed his offense. "I'm not saying I believe that blaggard's stories. After all he may carry a noble bloodline but at heart he seems to be an uncouth cretin. I consider his stories as just that… fiction. That doesn't mean though that such things couldn't develop."

"Please!" Link couldn't resist scoffing. "How could that happen. I may be the goddesses' chosen hero, but I am still short on stature, status and charm. Zelda would never be so foolish as to fall for a guy like me, regardless of my achievements."

"Don't be so sure, besides as I once heard the princess say "love can make fools of even the wisest of hearts" and as I've witnessed myself… loneliness can be a powerful force to the heart of any young lady." Her voice fell away and she once again turned her gaze off to the rain speckled glass. The faint tapping of the drops became the sole sound in the deserted chamber, as they both stared off unseeing into the opaque carpet of blackness, her seemingly lost in memory, him lost in thought.

He'd seen that loneliness himself when he'd gazed into Zelda's eyes following her sudden collapse at the discovery of her uncle's survival. Indeed, it had been one of the defining factors that drove him to his fateful decision to accept her offer, turning his own life on its head. Yet despite its monumental impact, he had not dared to bare much thought as to the extent of her isolation. As Princess she may be surrounded and swamped with acquaintances, but how many of them did she really count as anything more? How many could she trust to be anything more?

The flash of wire rimmed spectacles in the flicker of the candle informed Link that eyes were once again upon him and he shifted his gaze back to the sombre matron, who gave a heavy sigh. "Now I fear I have taken us from the most important matter at hand. How are you feeling? Any particular severe pain or symptoms that do not fall within your diagnosed injuries?"

"No"

"Do you require any food or drink? Do you require use of a chamber pot?"

A chamber pot?! Oh Goddesses no! Such an issue had completely slipped his mind but the realisation brought a new shade of red to Link's face. Surely, he wouldn't require assistance just to evacuate his bladder! The very idea that he was brought so low as to need help taking a leak, was repulsive, both to his independent nature and his pride. Mercifully he didn't need to go at that moment but the thought of facing such a situation in the near future almost drove him to dismiss moistening his parched throat. Ultimately though, he surrendered to the inevitable fact that even he couldn't last five whole days without any form of sustenance and asked for a drink. Given how he was feeling, even his starch stiff moral stuffiness considered some strong alcohol might be preferable, but of course water was the only thing on menu.

As the Matron slipped off to the far corner and the sound of a tap drowned out the subtle percussion of raindrops, Link took another moment to take in the room he'd be spending the next five days trapped in. The exertion of doing so prompted more protests from his battered body and he once again berated himself for taking on Halshaw in the first place. Not that the man would have taken no for an answer. His survey of his surroundings revealed nothing new, only serving to highlight every bump and break, making it clear that for now at least he was, well and truly, bed ridden! He'd never been this bad on his adventure and he'd arguable taken worse beatings then. Why was he so pathetic now?

Of course, the answer was obvious. On his adventures, he had his wolf "curse" which, he suspected, had also granted him superior resilience and strength along with his heightened senses. Then there was the tri-force of courage that likely came with additional powers of strength, powers all but absent since Ganondorf's downfall. He sometimes wondered whether he still even possessed it, as he hadn't witnessed it's tall-tale glow on his hand and he'd seemingly lost much of the mysterious fire that had driven him to his greatest triumphs. Was he no longer worthy or was it that the goddesses only gifted it for the time in which it was needed? Zelda, being the ruler of the kingdom would always need the Tri-force of wisdom, but he… did he need it?

Another stab of pain from his ankle brought his thoughts back to his injuries. On his adventures he would have simply drank a healing potion and… of course! A healing potion! Why hadn't that been his very first thought? How had it not been the matrons first thought on him waking up? Just give him one of those and he'd be out of her curly hair in a matter of hours!

The sound of footsteps and growing light told him Cicile was returning, baring the gift of a mug of water in one hand and her candle in the other. "Here you are. Now I know this is probably a sting to your pride as a strong and capable warrior but I think it best that I help you with this, at least until your wrist is healed." She said, voice firm but laced with sympathy as she placed down the candle on the side table and brought the mug towards Link's lips.

She was right. It did sting his pride. "It's only my right wrist that's injured. I'm not completely incapable of using my left, thank you!" He immediately regretted his tone but his weary companion seemed to have expected it and, fortunately, didn't take offence, instead simply offering him a doubtful look as she reluctantly handed him the mug. "If you insist, but know that there's no shame in asking for help."

On taking the mug, he wished he had taken her offer as the arm throbbed from the strain on several bruised muscles, causing a slight tremble as he brought it up to his lips. As he tipped the surprisingly weighty vessel back, the tremble grew and for every sip that made it, another escaped down his front. He lowered the vessel briefly before trying again with the same result. How pathetic! On his adventures he wouldn't have had this problem. Upon pulling away from his second attempt, Cicile intervened, prizing the mug from the thoroughly despondent heroes hands with only minor resistance.

"You aren't the first I've had to help like this, Link." She spoke softly with a sympathetic smile, perching on the edge of the bed and guiding the mug to his mouth. Link's eyes flicked from the mug to her face as she finally said his name. "I'm not surprised someone like you would be reluctant to accept help, given your history of remarkable escapades…" She gave a wry chuckle at his expression. "Yes, her highness told me of a few of them. Quite extraordinary…" Her voice trailed off and once again her eyes briefly wandered to the window.

The next minute passed wordless and still as she helped him drink, the occasional flicker of the candles and the dancing shadows they produced, the sole noticeable movements in the otherwise frozen space.

The Matron finished with a barely stifled yawn. "If you require any food or any other assistance then please call upon me or another nurse… when they finally arrive." She huffed, glancing off towards the doorway briefly, before turning her attention back to her patient, rising from the bed. "In the meantime, if that is all, I would advise trying to get some sleep... Link."

"Thank you but actually, there is something else. Why didn't you just give me a healing potion? It would make things easier for both of us."

"Ha, you speak as though healing potions just grow on trees." She scoffed before correcting her manner. "I'm sorry, but healing potions are highly expense, difficult to make and their ingredients are notoriously hard to come by. We only have a very limited supply, which is reserved for patients whose injuries are life threatening and even then, only certain afflictions can be treated with it."

Link groaned in pain and defeat, resigning himself to his medically imposed confinement as he sank back into his bed which gave a conciliatory creak in response.

"Believe me, there is nothing I'd wish for more than a cheap and plentiful miracle cure but alas, as I'm sure you know, the world is not so kind." Another yawn stretched her tired face.

"Now is there anything else?"

"No"

"Then please, get some rest" With a tired smile and a curtsey, she retrieved her candle and returned to her desk. As the candlelight drifted away, Link was enveloped once more in the blanket of night.

It didn't, however, prompt him to succumb to sleep as he lay staring at the vaulted ceiling, his mind a maelstrom over the past day's events, while his body complained bitterly at its treatment. He shuffled restlessly beneath the sheet, trying to find some position that offered some small respite to his aching limbs, finally settling on a position lying on his side facing the window, just visible through the gloom over the long row of beds.

While his body was now subdued, it did little to calm his turbulent thoughts, which tumbled tumultuously through his consciousness, like a trip down the Zora rapids on a plank of driftwood. Indeed, the sense of nauseum was comparable, although he couldn't be sure whether it was from his swirling thoughts whipping the sides of his already aching cranium or his two fractured ribs straining from the onslaught of his slightly ragged breathing. Regardless of the pain, he knew all too well that he would get no rest until he did his best to straighten out some of those troublesome ideas pervading his consciousness.

It was probably sensible to start at the beginning. Why had he accepted Halshaw's challenge? Well that was obvious! He'd let his overconfidence, built through his spotless sparring record and his comrade's admiration, convince him that he still possessed a modicum of the man he'd been when he saved Hyrule. His current situation, bed ridden and helpless, crushed any delusions of that. He wouldn't deny that he was a superior swordsman to most but were a threat, comparable to Ganondorf or the twilight, to rise again… he would lose without the goddesses' intervention. Without their power, was he anything more than a nobody who happens to handle a blade well? He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Well the princess clearly doesn't think that…" Came a familiar lilting voice and as his lids flickered back open, Link was greeted by a pair of glowing orange orbs, watching him through the gloom and seconds late the vision of the mischievous imp swam into focus perching casually on the edge of the adjacent bed. "… and could you really see ANY of your friends thinking so lowly of you? What about me? Could you picture me saying something like that?"

"You are just part of my subconscious. What would you know of what the real Midna would think?!" Link mentally snapped at this cheap imitation of his friend, hoping if he channelled enough annoyance through his icy blue gaze, he could banish it.

"A darn sight more than you it would seem!" The imitation replied in Midna's characteristic snarkiness, frustratingly unaffected by his death glare. "Besides, you're clearly letting negativity take the reins here, if that's your conclusion. And to think that your mischievous streak is the most level-headed part of that mothball of a brain! It certainly wasn't overconfidence that led to us getting pummelled. Our only mistake was trusting that "Sir Cocksure" had an ounce of decency and fairness in him and not taking Zelda's warnings about the court seriously enough. The drumming we received was merely because we weren't prepared to play as dirty as him… at least not intentionally. Outside of when that wild force took over, I'd say we treated him pretty lightly."

Naturally, being part of his subconscious, Link already knew the trajectory this mental debate was heading, yet he couldn't suppress intrigue as to the theories of his admittedly more imaginative side, imaginative in multiple senses of the word. "So, any theories on this wild force?" he asked though he already had an idea of the answer.

"Well, most likely it's somehow linked to the wolf curse."

Scanning through his memories, thoughts and reminiscences; both from the two appearances of this beast within, along with his times scampering across Hyrule in the form of one, he had to admit there were definite similarities. In wolf form he had often felt a trace of feral instinct gnawing at the strings of his consciousness, a sensation superficially comparable to that of the beast… but nowhere near as concentrated or all consuming.

Then there was the beast's motivation, which appeared to stand firmly apart from his wolfish counterpart. The wolf simply wanted freedom from the inhibitions of society; freedom be howl, freedom do run, freedom to partake in the full gambit of life… and its many "interesting" aromas. Link shuddered at the thought of some of the "interesting" things he'd stuck his nose in…

His imp companion grimaced "Best not to dwell on that, aye!"

He couldn't help but agree. The trouble was that left him venturing into the less gross but equally awkward motivations of the beast. Luckily any ponderings on that particular jar of worms was saved by the sudden creaking of the door quickly followed by some curt whispers from the matron, and some chagrined replies from a younger lady, who he could only assume was the nurse she'd been bemoaning the lateness of.

"Where in Hyrule have you been? I sent for you two hours ago!" The matron's tongue clicked harshly as she endeavoured to combine severity and serenity.

"Errr… I had… other duties… ma'am" The nurse replied, noticeably hesitant.

"Other duties?! What that's supposed to me… ah, so you've been seeing that soldier again, have you?" No effort was made to hide the disapproval in her voice.

"…"

"Have you?"

"… Yes Ma'am" Came the mumbled response.

"Mark my words young lady, this affair will do you no good. Soldiers will always leave you broken hearted, one way or another, be it from their own wayward desires or by the blade of a sword."

The nurse's huff of resignation made it clear this probably wasn't the first or even the second time she'd heard this lecture. With the lecture continuing unabated in the background, Link was busy pondering why talk of romance, of one sort or another seemed to follow the female of the species round like a bad rash. Even Ashei couldn't seem to escape that affliction entirely.

"Hey, you know what they say. Love makes the world go round." Chirped the imitation Midna with nauseating cheeriness.

"That doesn't mean it needs bringing up in every conversation." Link snapped back.

"It's not in EVERY conversation. You, Mr Stick-in-the-mud, just have an allergic reaction to it, though I know it's really because you're a hopeless romantic and all talk of it leaves you pining for your precious princess."

"Grrrr!"

"You can't deny it. We are of one mind after all. I'm just the part that's willing to admit it. Anyway, on the topic of the princess and growling…" The insufferable imaginary imp didn't need to finish as he already knew the implications… His new beast side was seemingly somehow connected to Zelda. The mystery was how? And Why?

As much as he had done his best to deny it to Matron Cicile, it appeared that she hadn't been entirely wrong with her assertion of defending the Princess's honour. The only times the beast had been stirred from its slumber had all occurred after Zelda's name was tarred by some odious toff, be it Sir Halshaw or his father back at Ordon. Rather disturbingly, it would seem that the beasts influence had grown by leaps and bounds since the Ordon incident. What had been little more than an urge to growl at the insufferable Lord had evolved into the rage fuelled force of nature, capable of hijacking his body and subjugating rational thought, and all because of badmouthing Zelda. The wolf inside had never really had a chance to make any sort of connection with the princess, only have met her twice. All this pointed to it being an entity or force entirely separate from his wolf instinct.

"We can't dismiss that for sure." Chipped in his imaginary friend.

"Why not?"

"Do you not remember what it was like in the immediate aftermath of the mirror's destruction and… her departure. The wolf didn't just disappear quietly into the twilight… and who was the one to calm it."

"That had nothing to do with the wolf curse!" Link came close to actually vocalising his stressed response, just about holding his tongue from shouting.

"Really!" The imp's eyebrows shot up in blatant disbelief.

He'd been called out. The truth was he couldn't know for sure some of the restless, pained anguish that had enveloped his entire being following Midna's sudden departure wasn't a result of his wolf side. In the constricting, suffocating hours of escorting her back across the harsh desert from the arbiter's grounds, even as Link struggled to hide his own imploding psyche, Zelda had somehow found a way to console and comfort him. Despite them being barely more than acquaintances, even then she had possessed the ability to seemingly read his inner most thoughts and offer the perfect words. She had even implied some sort of offer of a position when they'd reached what remained of Castletown, yet he was only too desperate to draw as much distance between them as possible, rejecting and running away… like a coward. He'd told himself that it was because of her possession by Ganondorf and that she would stand as a reminder of all the most horrible parts of his adventure, yet their reunion and their cautious but burgeoning friendship stood as testament to how wrong that was.

Had he ever even truly believed that reasoning or was it just an excuse, to escape the real fear, the fear of Zelda's inexplicable power to read his most private thoughts. Had that been his true cowardice? Running because he felt vulnerable?!

He was about to descend into another round of deep rumination when his pounding head decided it prudent to remind him of its injured state, via the sensation of his skull being crushed in a slamming door. Ow! All this thinking was getting painful.

"Well you wouldn't be doing so much of it if you stayed on topic!" Midna chided. "My point was that Zelda has had contact with your wolf form and that could be the connection we're looking for. It's not much but the only other option on table is… your crush on her!"

Why did it always seem to come back to that?! It was just a stupid infatuation based on her beauty that, like all immature notions from saccharine romance novels, would fade with time. Besides, connecting such a thing to the beast was both absurd and disturbing. Hadn't the mischievous mirage ever heard of bestiality?! He shuddered.

"Hey, I wasn't suggesting your wolf form was somehow attracted to her in THAT way! Simply that whatever this beast is, it could be fuelled by one of your strongest emotion…"

"This crush is not my strongest emotion!"

"Oh please! How many times have your thoughts turned to her since your last meeting aye?! And don't try to claim that on those occasions where your feet mysteriously carried you to the royal garden it was just to smell the roses. No, you were sniffing out a rather different perfume."

Link let out an audible groan of annoyance, which mercifully wasn't picked up by his two carers. He wanted to roll over in the vain hope that the imp would simply disappear and he could be left to ruminate in peace, but intuition told him of the futility and his bones warned him of the consequences of movement. His stomach expressed a similar sentiment and he had no desire to require a change of pillow. He contented himself to intensifying his death glare, narrowing his heavy eyes to slits, resulting in the ghostly outlines of the room and the regimental rows of beds dissolving into the darkness of the night. All that remained was the silhouette of his imitation imp, turned tormentor, and the unworldly orange glow of lantern like eyes accosting his attention in the inky black.

"Really, no answer. You're just going to glare at an empty bed." The imp chuckled "How childish. Oh well, guess I should take your silence as admittance of defeat…"

Link broke his gaze from the vision to fling his eyes round in their sockets, like dice in a cup, before snapping internally "Hardly! I simply didn't consider your point worthy of addressing, but as you insist, I only did it twice and that was cos I was deep in thought."

"Sure, sure, be dour and dreary and deny it. Some day you'll have to accept that you can't tame your heart any more than you can tame that beast inside."

Finally! Can we get back to the real issue of the beast!

"How do you know those two aren't linked, Hmm?"

"Because they're not! My feelings for the princess… whatever they may be, are minor compared to that beast's influence… at least when it wakes."

"That doesn't mean they aren't connected!"

"Soooo… if they are than that's good news, because it means it should fade away soon enough, once I get over this crush and move on. It's not like I see her much." Even as the line shot through his brain, Link had to confess a slight doubt, just a very slight doubt…

"And if you don't get over it?" His companion asked, tone and manner encapsulating that doubt and magnifying it.

"Well, in that unlikely event… I'm doomed."

Midna tutted "Not necessarily. You heard the matron. Perhaps the princess will feel the same way."

Link unthinkingly gave a sudden loud snort of dismissal, which was immediately followed by the scraping of a chair and the shuffling of fabric approaching across the floor. Damn, he hadn't intending on attracting the attention of the nurse. With some quick thinking and some masterful nasal vocalisation, he produced a raucous reverberating snore followed by two progressively quieter masterstrokes of airway clearing obscenity. The soft footfalls and shuffling cloth ceased just shy of his back and he could just catch the warm glow of the candle over his shoulder.

"Sir Link?" The nurse called out softly and hesitantly. Link didn't reply, instead closing his eyes and feigning a deep sleep. The façade was almost scuppered by the shock of a cool soft palm pressing gently to his forehead. He remained still and a few seconds later the nurse and the light that accompanied her withdrew leaving him once again in the dark. Nevertheless, Link kept his eyes closed and let the outside world fade away.

He'd had enough of the mirage of his old friend driving him up the wall with fanciful and delusional ideas, although coming from a vision created by his own subconscious perhaps that was to be expected. Seriously though, if that was a manifestation of his childhood mischief, born again through Midna's influence, why did it have to be so absurdly optimistic?

"Why can't I be both?" her voice echoed in his head. "You certainly have a habit of neglecting both."

The line struck him such that he was left with no reply. It was true, a far greater casualty of his growing up and particularly his adventures was the eternal optimism with which he faced everything life threw at him. Then again, life had never thrown a nightmare like the twilight his way before. Really, could he be blamed for discarding such a naïve viewpoint? They say ignorance is bliss and he was certainly ignorant before destiny came and dragged him through the mire. He'd just gained a better perspective. He was just a realist.

"Yawn. That's getting real old." Came Midna's sarcastic drawl.

"No. What's getting old is certain parts of my brain insisting on encouraging thoughts of a relationship with absolutely no potential and no chance of it ever actually amounting to anything. You heard the Matron! You've seen the carnage the mere suggestion of it has wrought! And I can think of a hundred different reasons why the princess would never fall for me! So please, if you have nothing else sensible to add, do me a favour and piss off!"

All fell silent and Link suddenly found himself racked with guilt, wishing he wasn't alone, bruised and broken with no one to confide in. He knew It wasn't really Midna, yet he couldn't help feeling disgusted at his behaviour all the same. Goddesses, had he really become so bitter that he would attack the essence of his own child self? Was that even his child self or was he just slowly tipping over the edge into madness. Many would argue that bickering with an imaginary version of a dear departed friend was ample justification for labelling a man as insane!

To add frustration to his restless mind, his argument had been anything but productive, leaving him with more questions than he had when he started. With the world shut out however, the cold tendrils of exhaustion finally began to coil round him and drag him towards the abyss of sleep, despite his protests. After all, he now knew that nightmares still lurked in the dark corners. "Behold your failure" reverberated in his ears like rolling thunder and he shuddered. Would he once again have to fear sleep?

All he could do was hope and pray that he didn't find them. His one thought of comfort was that maybe, just maybe this bitterness along with his overactive imagination was a result of his pounding skull and bruised body. The answers may arrive come morning…

Hopefully…

Possibly…

Unlikely…


	18. News and Noisy Neighbours

**A.N: Hello again, ladies and gentlemen. Here, for your reading pleasure is another chapter, and my goodness what a battle it's been to make it. I'm tweaking here, I'm tweaking there, I seem to be tweaking everywhere. Is it half decent, that I can't tell, all I can hope is that it goes down well.**

**As always, I hope you enjoy it and feedback is much appreciated. Thank you to all those who have left reviews. They help, both as motivation and as a guide, so keep them coming.**

**Chapter 17 – News and Noisy Neighbours**

Hyrule castle infirmary – 183 days A.G

The sun peeked like a cautious voyeur through the stained-glass window and assaulted Link's weary eyes with its offensively cheery tangerine glow. It wasn't that he hadn't been expecting it. He'd been staring at the window for the last half hour, simply wishing the day would get a move on and arrive. After all, the sooner the days came and went, the sooner he could be out of this accursed infirmary!

Ok, it wasn't really an accursed place on its own. What made it so was that, after who knows how many hours of turbulent sleep, interrupted by run away thoughts, stabbing pains and… chamber pots… he'd suffered yet further misfortune with the acquisition of two new neighbours. Two rather mouthy neighbours by the names of Rodrick and Quince.

Link's only acquaintance with this dynamic duo of class clowns had occurred at the hilt of a practice sword. He had, however, received many a "colourful report" on them, courtesy of their beleaguered commanding officer, none other than Ashei. Since the twilight invasion, a rigorous programme had been set in motion, to revolutionise Hyrules armies, backed by royal decree and spearheaded by the blunt swordmaiden and the great hero. Success had initially been slow but as Link overcame some of his social shortcomings and the soldiers actually began to rediscover pride in their work, progress had rapidly escalated. Unfortunately, such developments had seemingly eluded these two, as their reason for being here abundantly demonstrated.

Link didn't know the specifics but he did know they'd both been admitted to the infirmary with concussions and bruising, having attempted to back flip up the servant's spiral staircase, following a little illicit raid on one of the castle wine cellars. Despite this bruising and brain bashing it seemed the preceding crash had done little to dampen their cheery disposition or, much to Link and the nurse's mutual annoyance, their power of speech. In all fairness though, judging by their current topic of conversation, their brains were wholly surplus to requirements and clearly not all poetry was born of intellect.

"… from Gabanoom,

who took a lesbian up to 'is room,

They lay on the bed,

and suddenly said,

who does what, with what and to 'om?"

Rodrick, a black-haired youth who Link presumed to be around eighteen, finished his reverent recital with gleeful aplomb, as his partner in crime rocked on his bed with laughter and the nurse just shook her head. Having already made numerous failed attempts to silence the duo, she'd seemingly surrendered to the inevitable stream of verbal diarrhoea with little more than the occasional reproachful look in response. Then again, Link supposed that she was used to far worse… like clearing up the real thing.

Quince, blonde and rather baby faced, though presumably the same age as his comrade, finally calmed his laughter enough to respond. "Man, I haven't heard that one before but it sure is a banger. Where'd ya hear it?"

"Oh, from ya know, Aspan. Know 'im? Well we got talkin' in mess and 'e's got plenty more like that and some really weird as well. Heard this one?"

Great! Link rolled his eyes. Just what he needed! More dirty limericks!

"There once was an adventurous diver,

Who rescued a Zora reviver,

She applauded 'er saviour,

And lauded 'is favour,

And they spent the day swapping saliva"

Quince chuckled before feigning a gag. "Man, who would come up with something like that? Aspan must be a freak!"

"Nah, the man's alright. Besides 'e didn't come up with that one. It's apparently 'istoric, 'bout some ancient 'ylian 'ero who saved some Zora bint, some princess with magic healin' powers or somethin'. Well, the princess proposed. Don't know if the guy accepted…"

"Well I wouldn't. Gross. Who'd wanna marry a fish? Think of the slime, the stench, the long tongue…"

"Er, I think ya thinkin' of snakes!?"

"Ah whatever, it's still freaky… Hey this ancient hero right. Ya think he could be related to, ya know…?" Quince completed his question by jabbing his head in Link's direction with all the subtlety of an arrow to the eye.

Rodrick dismissed the notion with a shake of his head and a snort. "Ya think Link would be related to a fish flinger?" Craning his neck to look round his friend to meet the hero's cool gaze, he yelled. "Aye Link, any 'istory of fish flinging in ya family?"

Could these twerps get any more insufferable?! It wasn't their grating voices, their lack of any semblance of self-awareness or their vulgar topics of discussion that had him grinding his teeth though. The question of his heritage struck far harder than Sir Halshaw's boot in his chest, not because he was insulted by its obnoxious insinuations, but because it highlighted how empty the pages of his own family history were. He knew nothing of his actual lineage, only that they were more than happy to abandon him in a dangerous forest as a helpless infant. If Rusl hadn't stumbled upon him, crying into a bundle of blankets, the sole thing his real parents had the courtesy of giving him, he would have surely died.

Link's only reply was a terse growl of "no".

It seemed from their reactions to his response that they hadn't actually expected an answer and Link couldn't supress a groan as he realised he had just announced his engagement in their conversation. It was a chance the duo were clearly eager to exploit.

"So Link, ya got any poetry for us. If ya know what I mean?"

"No" The hero mumbled.

"Alright then, what about stories?"

"No" A little more emphatic.

"Come on man, we're not askin' for war stories. Come on, the last girl you slept with?"

"NO!" His voice boomed like thunder, hoping to ward them off from further prying.

The duo exchanged looks and Rodrick whispered "Either 'e's bent as a bill'ook or those rumours are true", receiving a nod of agreement from Quince. With their little, not so private, confab finished, Rodrick was suddenly struck by an epiphany. Either that or he was passing wind. Hard to tell with such 24 carat idiocy. He turned to Link and asked gormlessly. "Aye 'ero, 'ow come you're even 'ere?"

"I got injured"

"Yeah but…" Rodrick began only to be interrupted by an excited exclamation from Quince, much to Link's relief. He really didn't feel like explaining to these two dimwits. "Oh, oh I think I know! Didn't you hear about the duel yesterday. Link duelled Sir Cocksure…"

"Oh well that expla…"

"No, no, He beat him! Yeah apparently, he thrashed him! Even despite the twat resorting to cheating and roping his squire in on the fight, he still got served a piss pummelling defeat…"

Quince launched into a fantastically sensationalised account of yesterday's fateful holmgang, revelling in the fictionalised thrashing of a man they were clearly none too fond of. Link felt no desire to interrupt, instead marvelling at the work that had gone into embellishing and exaggerating his victory, a bemused smile creeping on to his lips, despite himself. Clearly whoever Quince had heard the story from hadn't witnessed their close fought duel either or the shock of Sir Halshaw's winning streak being cut short scrambled the witness's brain. Nevertheless, he supposed the exaggerated spin couldn't hurt.

Meanwhile, said highly fictionalised account of his victory rapidly drew to a close much to Rodrick's confusion. "Aye look, don't get me wrong. I've loved 'earing 'bout Sir Arsewipe's long overdue thrashing. Damn I'm ecstatic the prick finally got pounded 'arder than a bitch at a brothel, but what 'as that got to do with 'ero boy 'ere?"

"That's cos I ain't finished. See, Link had just won when the princess shows up to tell everyone and, get this, told everyone that Halshaw senior is out! Done! Finito!"

"You serious?!"

"Yeah! Junior apparently flipped his shit and challenged her royal highness to a butt contest and…"

"Oh, well that contest was a forgone conclusion then. The princess has one of the finest butts in the land."

By this point, even Quince seemed to have grown tired of his friend's incessant sexual references. "Man, don't you think you overdo it a bit?.. Hey wait a sec. How'd you know about the princess's, ahem, posterior?"

Link was surprised either of the duo had such a long word in their vocabulary, given their apparent level of intellect but this, it turned out, was just the start.

"Ah Quince, Surely ya know by now that I'm a connoisseur par excellence when it comes to juicy derrieres. I may never 'ave seen it in its full naked glory but…" Rodrick sniggered, leaving Link momentarily baffled, only to pick up the unintentional pun just before the self-professed butt connoisseur continued "…but I know more than enough 'bout ladies dresses, specifically 'ow to remove 'em, that even 'er royal 'ighness's fancy frippery can do little to disguise her cush tush."

These comments had the straight-laced hero bristling again, though, much to his discomfort, he couldn't pinpoint the primary reason they irked him so much. Was it the audacity of the man discussing the revered princess in such a tawdry manner or the fact that such words had briefly succeeding in dragging his thoughts in the most indecent of directions, namely actually considering the royal posterior?! Then there was the depressing epiphany that, from the talk he heard in the barracks, he must be the only man his age who's only reference for a girl's derriere was his own imagination.

Well actually that wasn't entirely true. His knee had made brief acquaintance with the very posterior currently under discussion when he'd dived to save the princess from her fall, that fateful night in Ordon. It was fair to say the moment of intimacy between him and her royal highness, while fleeting, had left an indelible mark on his dreams and, to his shame, he'd found himself revisiting it on occasion as he drifted through sleep.

So lost was he in such embarrassing thoughts that Link lost track of the conversation. His attention was only directed back by an incredulous exclamation from Rodrick. "No way! She beat him too!"

"Errr Yeah! You ain't buyin' it?"

"Oh no no no. I've met many women with a great many talents." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively "If anythin' I'm just smartin' I missed that steaming turd gettin' smashed twice in one day! All this still doesn't explain 'ow 'ero boy 'ere ended up 'ere though."

"Well as you can probably guess, Halshaw was frothing like a rabid dog. So he starts muttering some shit under his breath. Next you know Link rushes up and lays him out, single punch no less…"

"Ok but then 'ow…"

Link, by now wishing they could move on from yesterday's painful events, let out a growl of exasperation as he rolled onto his back to stare unseeing at the cold white plaster of the high vaulted ceiling. "Because I screwed up the landing!" He snapped tersely.

The duo was temporarily baffled, exchanging confused looks which piqued the attention of the vexed hero's peripheral vision. Rodrick's confusion was understandable, but Quince? Hadn't he just claimed he knew what happened. Clearly not, judging by the response.

"The Landing?" they parroted in unison before gracing the world with a rare gift… a moment of silence. Off towards the back of the long chamber there was a heavy breath of respite and relief from the nurse, who had clearly been suffering even as she attempted to distract herself with folding piles of crisp white bed linen.

After almost a minute of peace and quiet, savoured by all but the duo, Link began to wonder whether he had completely stumped them when a sudden cry of "OOOOHHH, the landing. I got it now!" informed him otherwise. They'd finally grasped it.

That, however, wasn't all Rodrick had apparently "grasped". He turned to Link with a sly smirk. "I also know the real reason you did it. Link, ya sly dog. Way to go man. And don't worry. Ya secret's safe with us." He tapped his nose conspiratorially.

Quince only blinked at his partner in crime, obviously just as confused by the statement as Link was. A whisper in his ear seemed to clarify the issue for Quince. "Come on, you know. THAT rumour." As the light of understanding sparked in his brown eyes he turned to the still baffled hero and repeated the conspiratorial nose tapping.

What was THAT rumour? Why would they congratulate him for it? Unless… Oh no!

"So, Link, I gotta ask, what…"

Before Rodrick got the chance to finish his clearly indecent question, the infirmary door was flung open with a crash, startling the duo and saving Link the indignity of having to answer. He craned his neck to see just who his saviour was, only for her distinctive twang to give her away instantly as she boomed "Well, this is a right mess you've made, isn't it!" Ashei stood in the doorway, her raven hair bedraggled and her violet eyes flashing with anger, seemingly attempting to burn holes in her two troublesome subordinates' heads. The duo, under such scrutiny turned white and fell deathly silent.

The swordmaiden's heavy stomping gait betrayed the true source of her fury though, as weariness weighed down her every step. This tiredness did nothing to sabotage her intimidating presence as she ranted. "Do you have any idea how many problems you've caused?! How much paperwork I've had to do cos of you?! Oh and to cap it off, since you two were both indisposed, guess who had to take one of your guard shifts?!"

The incessantly talkative duo appeared uncharacteristically lost for words as their captain bore down on them. He wouldn't count himself as someone who took pleasure in others discomfort but Link couldn't deny a certain satisfaction watching Ashei dressing down his two tormentors. A glance round the room quickly confirmed he was far from alone in that regard. In the far corner by the window the nurse was clearly battling to suppress a fit of laughter. A soft jingling sound caught his ear from the opposite end and turning his gaze to the source revealed none other than Borri, leaning casually against the doorway, arms crossed and baring a sly smirk as he watched the show. While still in uniform, it wasn't his armour that had been the source of the jingling, but a small rupee pouch dangling from one hand.

After his adventure in the royal kitchen, it was fair to say their acquaintance and opinions of one another had changed drastically. Noticing Link's gaze on him, Borri gave a nod of friendly greeting before they both turned their attention back to Ashei, who, it seemed, had overcome her initial fury and settled into contained simmering annoyance. Her address had gone from the usual blunt bluster in her unique strident accent to something resembling an imitation, albeit a poor one, of the princess's most authoritative tones, sabotaged by her unmistakable twang stabbing through every third word.

"Your punishment will be carried out under the watchful eye of Legate Lachron, so you can guarantee I'll hear about it if you fail to attend." Her clipped tones were matched by her cold controlled glare, stating in no uncertain terms the inevitability of their fate.

The synchronised groans told Link all he needed to know about Legate Lachron, although it could be said Lachron's reputation already preceded him, particularly his nickname.

"Now, nurse, are these two fit to return to active du…"

"Oh GODDESS YES! Oh, um I mean… yes. Other than a couple of bumps and bruises, they're otherwise fine."

"Did you hear that you two. Isn't that fantastic, yeah. You're pictures of health. Lucky, lucky you, cos you know what that means…" Ashei partook in a sick twisted delight at the rare opportunity to retaliate against her two most insufferable nemeses, her angry visage suddenly split by a devious grin. "You can start with "No Lollygagging" Lachron this very afternoon! Oh, and I trust you know the penalty if you don't." Her voice, swinging from near ecstatic trill to husky warning tones, left the duo in no doubt what fate had in store should they "forget" to show.

The swordmaiden dismissed the two knuckleheads before turning to finally greet Link with a nod and a heavy beleaguered sigh. "Well, you picked a fine time for a long nap, didn't ya?"

"Oh, like I planned this." He replied drolly.

"No, but surely you must have seen it coming?!"

"Nice to see you too!"

Ashei smiled awkwardly and retrieved a chair next to an adjacent bed. With a thump and a creak, the chair was unceremoniously dumped on his right side and she promptly slumped wearily into it, looking just about ready to nod off herself. "Yeah, yeah, alright, alright it's good to see you're… awake at least." Typical Ashei. Feigning flippancy to hide her feelings.

"Same here." Borri finally entered the conversation, sliding into the room and likewise retrieving a chair to seat on Link's left. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I've just been mobbed by two dozen Boblokins." Link replied, wincing as he tried to raise himself to a more sociable position for talking, glancing briefly to Ashei's sagging form, which shuddered with a poorly concealed yawn. "Not that I don't appreciate your company, particularly after what I've just had to endure… but if you've got stuff to do, there's no need for you to…"

"Nonsense…" Ashei dismissed through another yawn "besides I've got a bone to pick with you, yeah."

"And I've got winnings to hand over." Borri added, waving the rupee pouch lazily.

"Winnings, what winnings?!" There was a pause as he put two and two together to what seemed to make five. It was unexpected but seemed the only logical explanation. "Never would have taken you as one to gamble, Borri, 'specially not on one of my fights"

"I didn't." the soldier replied matter-of-factly. "I simply saw fit to persuade some of the lads to donate some of theirs to you, given your spectacular victory and, of course, the rather costly bonus you gave us. That was quite a punch."

"Yeah and quite a fall. Look, I appreciate the gesture but I refuse to be a charity case."

"Ah come on, Don't pull that. Henley still owes you for that bottle of healing potion, not to mention all the smaller things you've done. Consider this some small compensation for all that, along with the little permanent reminder Cocksure left…"

"Woah, what permanent reminder?!" Link blurted, startled that there was some injury of which he clearly wasn't informed.

"Oh, I assumed you… errr well, you know when he smashed you on the nose… well its slightly crooked." Borri answered awkwardly, adding in failed consolation "it's really not that noticeable."

Struck by a sudden but entirely unsurprising bout of self-consciousness, Link's hand flew up to his nose, more to assess the extent of the damage than to try and hide it. He couldn't avoid groaning upon discovering a definite kink on his conk. As if his courting prospects weren't bad enough… He'd never get a date for Telma's wedding.

"Seriously it ain't that bad. Now where do you want… hey, are these for you?" Borri had moved to lay the jingling reward on the bedside table only to discover a hefty, and by the look of it, very old book taking the space and resting atop it, a sealed letter, both of which Link had somehow failed to notice until now.

"Dunno. Must be. I doubt they belonged to the clown duo of calamity that just left." He shrugged, his mind still not at full capacity, more focused on his skewed snout than this new mystery. If he'd been paying more attention, he would have been desperately trying to warn his friends away from investigating. Unfortunately…

"Hmm, a royal seal." The soldier whistled admiringly. "A personal letter from the princess. Friends in high places, aye Link."

"Hey, don't read it!" Link yelled in sudden alarm. Ashei, who had been slowly sliding into the land of nod, jolted awake in shock, flailing like a demented windmill and only narrowly avoided tumbling from her seat.

Borri, once he'd finished laughing at the swordmaiden's expense, feigned offense at Link's outburst and replied. "Hey relax. Of course I wasn't going to read it!" adding dryly "Anyway, you know how bad my reading is."

"W. ? What weren't you going to read?" Ashei, still disorientated from her rude awakening, blurted in bewilderment. Her violet peepers darted manically round the room before locking, hawk like, onto the blood red wax imprint of the royal crest, stark against the crisp white of the letter still in Borri's hand.

"Oh, nothing we need concern ourselves with." Borri tried his best to dismiss, placing the letter back where he'd found it. Both soldier and hero, however, couldn't help but notice the swordmaiden's surprisingly alert gaze fixated on it and, sharing a glance, Borri gave Link an apologetic look.

Quite frankly, Link was somewhat taken aback by Ashei's reaction, both because of her abrupt wakefulness and the implication of her fixation. In all the time he'd known her, he'd never have assumed she suffered from that most irritating of afflictions, common to the fairer sex… being nosy! Tragically, It would seem that was indeed the even she was not immune as she continued to eye the unopened letter, almost hungrily. Oh well. Time for operation distraction!

"So Ashei, what's this bone you wanted to pick with me?"

"what, oh um, yeah. Do you recall anything about guard assignment authority regs?"

Caught off guard by such an odd question, he opened and closed his mouth wordlessly until Borri saved him the trouble. "Why would Link know anything about that?! He ain't a captain… unlike you. Shouldn't you be the one to know?"

"Hey, I know how to fight, I know tactics, strategy and I know how to keep order. I shouldn't be required to know utterly pointless rules. As for Link, he hears a lot, yeah."

His heightened senses were no secret to his resistance friend but they hadn't rewarded him with the knowledge she sought, though he doubted he'd remember them anyway. "Sorry, Ashei, I don't know and honestly I can't fathom why you'd think I'd have bothered to log such, as you said, "utterly pointless" information. Surely it would be simpler just to consult your Captain's manual? I know ever captain has one."

"Yeah and I do have one. I Just… well… mislaid it… somewhere in my room."

Link was suddenly struck by a horrifying vision. A patchwork of abandoned, unwashed clothes forming rolling hills and valleys that buried all sight of floorboards. Armour and weapon pieces, along with parchments stained by metal polish, consuming a poor, unloved oak writing desk, which probably hadn't seen the sun since the swordmaiden's arrival. A bed doing its best impression of a bomb site. That manual was as good as gone.

"Ok, why not ask one of the other captains?" he suggested.

"You kidding? Keeg's too by the book and would probably report me, Ragnar would refuse to say outta spite and Dembi's clueless…"

Borri, wearing a sly smirk, interjected nonchalantly "What about Gruber?"

Ashei's body tensed and she glanced away awkwardly. "I, er, I'd rather not talk to him." She mumbled, shuffling uncomfortably and refusing to make eye contact.

"Cos he likes you?" The soldier pressed.

"Well… it's not so much the fact he likes me… well that's part of it but… It's more how he shows it." The usually strident swordmaiden squirmed uncomfortably in her chair.

Borri showed no mercy as he continued, taking some small perverse pleasure in watching her uncharacteristic fumbling. "Oh really, so you didn't appreciate the flowers?"

"How do you know about those!" Aghast at the revelation, Ashei displayed a rarely witnessed shade of red in her cheeks. Embarrassment, however, quickly ignited into anger as she snapped. "That is none of your business!"

"true. It ain't my business but it's not like the courtyard is exactly the most private place where aaassss a sealed letter from the princess? that's a different story."

There was a notable pause as Ashei's sleep addled brain struggled to find the relevance of his point. Then the rupee dropped. "Hey, don't you dare turn this on me! I ain't one for spreading gossip!"

"No, you just love to collect it." Borri reposted drolly, unphased by the withering glare trying to singe his wiry eyebrows across the bed.

Sensing that one of his friends risked acquired a gauntlet shaped indent in the head if this continued, Link decided to step in and try to defuse the situation before the infirmary acquired a new patient. "Ok, so asking the captains is out. Why do you need these regulations?"

Ashei maintained her heated stare as she answered "Cos the guard rotas gone up the creek with you outta commission and I'm the one who's been given the "Honourable" task of assigning replacements."

"Hey, I know I'm pretty good but I don't see how me being off the rota would be such a big deal."

"But it isn't just you. The two twits who just left wont be back on duty cos of disciplinary actions and even then I'm not even sure I'd want them back on guard duty. Then there's two more you may not have heard of. They're out of action having gotten injured in some sort of pursuit down in castle town. Some hooded lowlifes putting up inflammatory posters about the princess. Unfortunately, the lowlifes escaped having got the jump on the guards and shoving them down a flight of steps. Of course, in light of such an accident, the court wants me to increase the guard presence in castle town… when I have less to work with! As I said Link, you certainly picked your moment." A stifled yawn to cap off her rant announced the creeping return of her exhaustion.

The news of hooded lowlifes posting slander against the princess set alarm bells clanging in Link's cranium and from within its shadowing recesses he swore he sensed a familiar presence stirring. It was with equal fortitude and trepidation that he sought to silence the peeling, lest the beast be woken again to cause more humiliation, embarrassment… and injury. Fortune smiled upon him and, surprisingly, there was little more than a snort from the slumbering wolf. Perhaps he overestimated it. He sure hoped so! He already had enough personal demons to fear. He didn't need another.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. There was still something that didn't make sense. "So why would this quill-filling fall to you? Surely this'd be a job for the general?"

Borri eagerly answered. "Don't you remember? old man Halshaw's out! Some of the lads are gonna have a celebratory drink in the mess tomorrow. Think you can make it?"

"As much as I'd prefer it to being stuck here, I can't. Matron's confined me to bed rest for the next week."

"A whole week?! damn! Must have been pretty serious. Hey Ashei, how about you?"

"Hmmm?" Ashei mumbled groggily having been stirred once more from another attempted nap "Oh no, no I don't… don't do parties. Besides I've got stuff to do."

"Does this make you Lord Halshaw's replacement? I can see you being a marvellous bureaucrat."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Please, as if I'd get that role with my track record. Besides last I checked I weren't a noble or a council member… though from what little I've heard, the princess has nominated a candidate who's neither and the court's having a fit, yeah."

"Ah who cares about the court anyway. I'd trust the princess's judgement over theirs any day. Besides, whoever takes over, they'd be hard pressed to do worse than Halshaw. Good riddance I say."

"I ain't so sure. The princess isn't one for showing her emotions, but when she gave me my orders, she sure seemed worried to me." Another yawn wracked her slumped form and she shook her head in a manner similar to a shaggy wet dog, her distinctive pig tails whipping with the motion, in a vain effort to keep herself conscious.

With the stubborn swordmaiden fighting a losing battle against sleep and the conversation slipping into topics of politics, which he'd prefer avoiding at the best of times, let alone injured and incarcerated in bed, Link decided enough was enough. She needn't torture herself for his benefit. "look Ashei, you really ought to get some rest, and as much as I like your company, I doubt the matron would feel the same way when you're comatose in that chair and snoring your head off."

"I do not snore!… buuuuut… I get your point." The swordmaiden, with a groan and a creak, rose begrudgingly from her chair and patted him somewhat awkwardly on the shoulder. "Get better soon, yeah…" Her tired face managed a wry smile "Sparring's real dull without you."

Borri watched her lumber away with mild amusement before rising to his feet with a click of his tongue. "I'd probably best be going too. Hang in there and… don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Sure, as if I could." Link let out a rueful chuckle only to wince as his two damaged ribs made their condition known once more.

Borri strode for the door only to stop just shy of the threshold, whirling round to point a finger accusingly at him. "Oh, and I don't want to hear a word about you donating those winnings. They're yours and you WILL enjoy them. Besides, you owe me a round. Ya hear me!"

"Thanks. I'll try to bare that in mind."

"Seriously, not a word. Lie if you have to." Message delivered, the soldier departed, leaving the hero with just a nurse and the rising sun for company. His friends visit had helped lighten his mood, however a glance out the window had him sinking again. The sun had barely moved and this was just his first day. If time was dragging it's heels this much already then by the 5th day his sanity could be in serious danger. Ok, maybe not that drastic but still.

"Would you like a drink or something to eat?" The nurse, who's name he'd forgotten, enquired as she passed by the bed, arms full of clean linen.

"No thank you." He dismissed as politely as possible and turned his thoughts back to his friends and their conversation. From the sound of it, despite Ashei's comments being more expressions of her own frustration than criticisms of him, the sentiments rang true. It would appear sod's law was in the saddle of current events and, barring some kingdom wide emergency, his hospitalisation couldn't have come at a much worse time. Last night's nightmares had shaken him and he found himself haunted by a sense of unease. Was it just a nightmare or a bad omen? He couldn't answer. He could only pray it was the former.

Neither the scuffle in Castletown or Lord Halshaw's "Retirement" would seem to be major disasters but if the princess was worried… Then again, he'd made a lot of ill-informed assumptions lately and perhaps this was another. Perhaps Ashei had been mistaken or maybe Zelda's concern was entirely unrelated. There was plenty he knew he was ignorant of when it came to politics and Zelda's revelation of the spider's web of court intrigue he'd unwittingly entered by accepting his position still left him reticent.

With the princess inescapably permeating his ponderings, his gaze fell on the unopened letter and weighty tome he guessed were from her. Since its introduction the letter had stolen a substantial cut of his concentration away from all subsequent conversation and though he hated to admit it, part of him had been eager for his friends' departure, simply so he could read it in peace.

Now, however, the letter brought both excitement and trepidation and he found himself hesitant to pick it up. His hand hovered over the crisp white parchment and he scanned the room to check the nurse was otherwise occupied, gripped by an almost irrational urge for complete privacy. He settled for the nurse being the other end of the room and picked up the letter with the delicacy of handling a new born kid, the reverence of a priceless relic… and the caution of an unexploded bomb. His intuition told him something was up.

Examination of the letter revealed a message just below the seal, inscribed in tiny letters, in what could only be the hand of the princess herself and instructing him to keep the seal intact and attached. Why would she want that? More importantly how was he supposed to open it then?

Training both his eyes and his nose on the seal itself revealed something rather peculiar. An odd smell… and what looked like a heat haze hovering over it… just like on the statue in the maze!

Link gently brushed the seal with his thumb, triggering the red wax to briefly flash bright gold and a second late it magically detached itself from one end of the letter. Astonishment was quickly over taken by nervousness as he hesitated on the brink. Why would Zelda go to such lengths? What could require her to resort to such methods.

He flicked it open and for a moment simply admired her handiwork, each word and letter drawn with grace and eloquent purpose. A couple of crossed out words marring what could almost be considered a work of art regardless of the prose' meaning. What else would one expect from Zelda?

He sighed and began to read…

_Dear Link_

A scribble directly following his name, seemed to hint that Zelda had initial wished to add more but thought better of it. His title perhaps?

_I feel that, in a manner most unbefitting of royalty, I must preface this letter with an apology. While official treaties and proclamations may be second nature to me, letters to esteemed friends are undeniable foreign. Thus, I pray you will forgive me for the formality of this communication, though I will endeavour to address you in a manner more suited to our friendship._

So quintessentially Zelda were the words that he could practically hear her speaking them. His smile seemed inevitable.

_I hope this letter finds you on the road to a swift recovery and that my healing spells have assisted in that regard. No doubt, the Matron has informed you that the spells will still require a week to ensuring the complete restoration of your bones and I ask you to heed her advice to stay in bed. Being the free and thoroughly independent spirit that you are, I suspect spending a week confined to your bed, forced to rely on others must seem both disconcerting and demeaning. Please remember, dear Hero, as I have told you before, there is no shame in requiring help when fate deals you poorly. No man is an island, not even the chosen hero._

_I'm sorry I will be wholly unable to visit you, however much I would wish to, but I have left you a book to hopefully make the time more bearable. Nothing can quite compare to the power of an absorbing book to warp the passage of time and I believe you will find this one particularly fascinating. _

_You may notice I have taken the liberty of bookmarking a couple of chapters which hold topical relevance with current events. The first is a history of the tradition of the Holmgang and its more civilised cousin, the contest of virtue, though I pray you are never again dragged into either. The second explains are rather marvellous little knightly custom, which gifted me a loophole in the matter of authority, allowing me to exact punishment on a certain unsavoury knight. Convention tragically restricted the severity of the punishment I could decree upon him, but I am still undeniable satisfied of its unpleasantness._

Ha! Nice to know there's some justice in the world. He had it coming!

_Regrettably, your impressive though precipitous punch, while arguably deserved, obligates me, by legal decree, to impose a sentence on you as well…_

WAIT WHAT! Link gawped, momentarily incredulous. Surely he'd read that wrong?! Multiple bumbling rereads confirmed disastrous meaning. She was the princess. Surely there's some way she could overrule it?!

… _Fortuitously however, given the nature of the offense and in light of the victim's own actions, the court has accepted, albeit begrudgingly, that it is entirely outside their authority to designate or influence your judgement. That duty is solely the responsibility of her royal highness and her royal highness is very lenient when it concerns heroes to whom she owes her kingdom, her freedom and her life. As such a far more palatable punishment has been chosen for your penance. Indeed, you may even enjoy it._

The first few lines brought a sense of relief. That last line however… he wasn't sure whether to be curious or suspicious. What was she up to? To his eternal frustration, the princess seemed content to leave that question hanging precariously, as she diverged into other mildly alarming revelations.

_Unfortunately, far less enjoyable are the repercussions of this incident, which while inconsequential in and of itself, turned out to be the spark that ignited the volatile powder keg of court politics… _

Deep deliberation had marked a deep groove in front of the next sentence, almost piercing through the parchment, as Zelda seemed almost hesitant on continuing.

… _Please do not overly concern yourself with such affairs, dear hero, or blame yourself for such events. Cycles of discord are, I have learnt from experience, inevitable in court life and this one will pass just like the countless before it. I merely wished to bring it to your attention so as to remind you to be careful with your words and actions when in the court chambers. Rest assured however, you will always have my support and protection. That much I can promise you, with the goddesses as my witness._

Another deep indent in the parchment and then…

_Nevertheless, it is due to this current situation I have chosen to take the precaution of enchanting the seal on this letter so that it will only open for you. Additionally, should the seal become separated from the letter it will appear as a simple blank sheet of parchment._

_Obviously, all these precautions would be wholly unnecessary, were I to have the opportunity to see you in person, a situation undoubtedly preferable to something as impersonal as this parchment. Alas the current court fiasco is likely to steal any such opportunities away in the immediate future, regardless of my wish to see you and know you are alright. Nevertheless, know that your wellbeing is never far from my thoughts. I will pray for a swift recovery and should a chance arise to visit you, I will take it._

_Rest well dear friend and I hope this letter and book offer some small measure of comfort._

_Yours Sincerely_

A line of crossed out titles later came her name, simply _Zelda,_ yet with its swirls and waves, it became so much more. Wait, she wasn't finished…

_P.S. Given your flagrant disregard for your own health, particularly in regards to aiding others, I fear my only recourse is to remove you from active duty for the next month. Please know that I do this, not to torment you, but to save you from yourself through reckless altruism. It is a noble trait to be admired, and I would not trade it for any other, however it can lead you to place your own wellbeing in needless jeopardy, a prospect which worries me immensely. Also, the Goddesses don't appreciate people sabotaging the prayers they answer._

Link sighed and just let his gaze wash over her graceful calligraphy once more, while his brain mulled over the prose' meaning. He lay, pawing over the letter in the otherwise silent room, the morning sun now sailing up and out of sight towards its midday peak, leaving the vaulted ceiling in shadow. The chamber itself did not sink into darkness as the sun's rays still poured liquid gold across the floor. The faint sound of Bird song drifted up from somewhere in the castle grounds and he found himself struck be a familiar pang of wanderlust. Anything to be out of this blasted bed. His groaning limbs, however, sided with the princess's plea for strategic inaction and ultimately, he had to concede to her wise concern.

Zelda's letter, for all its crisp formality, had warmed his heart… but it had also unsettled his mind. For all her reassurances, the situation was clearly far more serious than she would care to admit. He tried to accept her words that he wasn't to blame but he struggled to extricate himself from the responsibility he felt. He was a hero after all! Wasn't he supposed to protect her? It wasn't that he doubted her capabilities to handle the situation. It was simply that, while she continued to praise his mere presence, he couldn't help but feel superfluous. After his epic adventure, playing a major role in saving the kingdom, his new esteemed position appeared as but a drop in Lake Hyrule by comparison.

He'd sworn when he joined that he'd do anything within his power to aid the princess, yet it would seem his aid, thus far, had been negligible. Indeed, he'd done more harm than good by the looks of it. He had to step up to the plate… but how? Zelda didn't need any protection from monsters or bandits anymore. Order had been restored for a while now and the only enemies the princess faced now were trumped up noblemen and their obnoxious offspring. Immediately, Sir Halshaw's vein popping fury sprung to mind and Link pondered Zelda's cryptic comment about the prick's well-deserved punishment. What had she done?

Well the answer lay in the book she gave him. Link froze. The book she gave him!? Of course! He may currently possess the political aptitude of gaziboed Goron riding the zora rapids but who's to say he couldn't learn. He had a month's worth of free time to kill and he might as well make good use of it. Then, having educated himself, perhaps he stood a chance of supporting Zelda where it counted most. Perhaps then he could know all the ways to tell those stuffy nobles to piss off… in a politically sound manner, naturally.

It couldn't be that hard… could it?


	19. Hunted Animals, Haunted Faces

**A.N: Hello fantastic readers. Link is finally free of that wretched infirmary and so am I. Another stifling chapter in there and I'd have gone mad! For those of you perhaps eager for more action, or indeed those who feel it hasn't started yet, please be patient. My secret master plan is almost ready, the final pieces are falling into place and it will be unleashed in just a few chapters time. I, for one, am very much looking forward to it. MWHAHAHA!**

**As always feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated. Hope you enjoy this latest instalment.**

**Chapter 18 – Hunted Animals, Haunted Faces**

Hyrule barracks training yard – 190 days A.G

Freedom at last!

Link basked in the sensation of the warm summer sun's rays on his face and the welcome brush of a cooling breeze playing with his ash brown locks, peeking out from the rim of his green hat. The fresh summer air was alive with the distant sounds of birds, insects, rustling leaves and, rather closer, the clanging of practice blades.

The hero, however, was not wielding one, as he hobbled across the training yard, exchanging waves or nods of greeting to some of the combatants. Some among the spectators waiting their turns, took a moment to enquire after his health, to which he politely dismissed them with a nonchalant reply of "I'm alright".

The princess, as usual, was right in her prediction. The matron had assured him all the bones should have mended by now, but his ankle and his wrist were still swollen, throbbing painfully with every motion. It was testament to the sense of liberation, born of his release, that such pains did little to dampen his spirits.

After a week trapped in the stuffy, caustic odours of the infirmary, the fresh air compelled him to breath deep and savour the sweet scents of freedom. It turned out freedom smelt of sweat, hay and horse manure, with the faint hint of fragrant flowers drifting on the breeze, likely from the castle gardens. Such a concoction of conflicting aromas was hardly surprising, given his current destination. He was heading to see one of his oldest and most faithful friends… who was probably mad he hadn't visited all week. He just hoped she'd understand when he explained. She probably would, after all, she was a smart horse. That wouldn't stop her from throwing a strop about it though. Epona could be even more stubborn than he was.

His thoughts were pulled away from his faithful stead when a new unexpected whiff tickled his nostrils. The musty odour seemed to carry a familiar tinge, yet he was unable to identify it. Curiosity piqued, he decided to take a small detour around the barracks to see if he could locate it.

It didn't take long to discover the source as, rounding the corner of the main building, he was greeted by two castle servants struggling to manoeuvre a massive mounted boars head through a side door. Once he'd recovered from the initial surprise of such a bizarre sight before him, his conscience came out in a rash of selflessness. Unfortunately for his conscience, and the overloaded servants, it was an itch he couldn't scratch, as his wrist shrieked at the mere suggestion of it.

Instead he could only watch on in mild puzzlement, as the boar's head was soon followed by a bear's head and then a dear's. A little procession was forming, populated exclusively by servants hauling a menagerie of diverse hunting trophies off towards the main castle, with varying degrees of strain. Five… Six… Seven… Eight… How many of these things were there and where in Holy Hyrule had they come from?!

Link waited patiently for the final trophy to depart, before sticking his head inquisitively through doorway. He found a long corridor he didn't recognise with an uncharacteristically ornate door just visible, roughly halfway down. After a moment's hesitation, held back by the frankly absurd notion that he was trespassing, he ventured into the corridor to investigate. He made a beeline for the ornate door, his path illuminated by shafts of the glorious day streaming in through small slit windows just below the roof along with the meagre remains of last night's candles.

As he approached, he spied a sun-bleached plaque bearing a name, faint, neglected and nigh on unreadable. Indeed, the tell-tale scratchings of a blade scrawling an illegible word across it told him it wasn't just unloved by its owner. He had a strong suspicion he knew who resided here… or used to at any rate.

His suspicions proved correct as the door, with hinges just as unloved as its plaque, wheezed open allowing the escape of a familiar voice from within. "… and please be careful with that. That chair is a family heirloom."

The voice was familiar but the manner was not. The man was addressing a servant. He'd expect swearing, not polite despondency?!

The door opened fully to reveal the chair in question. Large, stately and ostentatious, upholstered with an oversized red velvet seat cushion, it fit its owner to a T. "Even in the width department" he noted dryly. He sidestepped to allow the monumental furniture and its two carriers to pass and only when they'd done so could he view the scene beyond.

The room, square and substantial enough to accommodate all the command staff, seemed almost naked and abused by prolonged neglect. Wood panelling, faded and carrying a thin layer of dust, lined three of the walls, while the forth presented two windows looking out on a small inner courtyard. The room had clearly known the suns warm rays in the past, as evidenced by the bleaching of the wood panelling, with stark patches of original venire marking the positions of now absent hunting trophies. Yet today it appeared the sun was reluctant to extend it the same glowing exuberance with which it greeted the courtyard outside.

The room did not want for light, the windows supplying a surplus of golden hews, yet an atmosphere of oppressive gloom maintained a steadfast grip on the space and its lone occupant.

The rotund form of Lord Halshaw stood facing away from him, leaning on a long and imposingly heavy looking desk, one of only four remaining furnishings encroaching on the expanse of dusty floorboards. A small but sturdy trunk lay to the desks left, seemingly trying to hide from the sunlight. Two display cabinets, displaying glistening medals, seemingly the sole objects still cared for judging by their lustre, sat against the wall opposite the windows. The cabinet's glass cases acted as a mirror, reflecting dimly the despondent scene of the rest of the soulless space.

Seconds ticked by in stillness as Link watched the silent silhouette of the Lord through the doorway, expecting him to turn at any moment and lash out with a barrage of insults. He waited but nothing happened.

He could only assume Halshaw was unaware of his presence. The option to simply walk away was undeniably tempting, yet something compelled him to stay… to confront his enemy.

He stepped into the room and the creak of the floorboards announced him. The predicted barrage didn't appear. Instead, on hearing Link's entrance, Halshaw did little more than glance over his shoulder, before turning back to stare at the desk. No rebuke, no facial jab came. Just silence in the gloom until…

"Have you come to gloat?" He asked plainly, tone devoid of life.

Having already prepared his riposte to the Lord's predicted attack, Link was thrown for a loop when it failed to arrive. Forced to change tact, but still wary of a late ambush, his reply was gruff and monotone. "No."

Another pause…

"Then you possess greater civility than some among your comrades…" Hang on, Had Halshaw senior just offered him a compliment?! "… though some would argue I deserve it." The Lords tone was as soulless as the empty room, droning and near emotionless as he continued to stare at the desk. Even his plum accent sounded subdued, lacking all the pompous stridence of their last encounter.

Shaken by his blunt words and soulless delivery, Link tried to glean some hint as to the man's mood from his profile in the reflection of one of the display cases. Lips, straight and thin, told him nothing and, by some trick of the light, the eye and its socket appeared concealed in shadow.

Seemingly aware of the hero's probing gaze, Halshaw finally turned to face him to reveal that it was no trick of the light. His left eye was red and bloodshot, with the surrounding socket painted a deep painful purple and sporting a small welt on the outside. The rest of his visage was a sickly white and his white moustache, previously manicured and disciplined, now looked unkempt. It was his right eye, however that was most shocking. For the first time the man's gaze was clear of the misty drunken haze that concealed what lay within its depths, and those depths possibly revealed the very reason he'd shirked sobriety. Where Link had expected to see burning animosity or supressed outrage within the Lord's brown eyes, he was instead met with resignation, despair and possibly… regret? The eyes of a man without hope, without life, but most shockingly, without ego.

He wouldn't have believed this was the same man he'd met in Ordon, were it not for the same attire, proportions and characteristic wheeze in his voice. All the pomposity, arrogance and bluster he'd previously displayed were conspicuously absent, as was the stench of alcohol. With his sickly hew and emotionless expression, he appeared half dead.

Halshaw stared at him and Link could only return the favour, unsure how to interpret or react to the husk of a once proud man who stood before him. The Lord clearly expected a response, yet he couldn't find one, wary of a possible trap but unable to shake the gut feeling that what he was seeing was true.

"Would it change your answer to know that I protested most vehemently against your position here at the castle?" The Lord asked pensively, peering intently, trying to decipher his reaction.

Under such scrutiny, Link turned his ice blue gaze to one of the cabinets, taking in its warped reflection as he considered his response. His mind was currently in a state of civil war between naïve conscience, cynical pessimism and rampant paranoia. For better or worse his conscience was, by some strange twist of fate, the victory and as such picked blunt honesty for his reply. "No. Quite frankly, you already deserved it after what you did in Ordon. I'm just not one gloat and I believe the princess gave you what you deserved."

He'd expected protest, both for calling out Halshaw's behaviour and his referring to Her Highness simply as The Princess. All he received was a rueful nod and a murmur of "indeed" and it was Halshaw's turn to Look away. The angle exacerbated the Lord's swollen eye socket and Link couldn't resist inquiring "Who did that?"

"Hmmm?"

"The black eye?"

There was a hollow chuckle and for the first time in this meeting, Halshaw's voice betrayed some sense of emotion… bitterness so subtle yet so potent it seemed to pollute the air. "Hmhm, just one of my greatest… "admirers"." He murmured but refused to go further, letting the words hang.

As silence threatened to settle in, bringing with it an almost eerie suffocating atmosphere, Link forced the conversation onwards with a question which had rattled round the back of his mind ever since he'd learnt of Lord Halshaw's supreme rank in the military. "If you were so against me getting this position, how did I get it?"

"Oh, Her Royal highness has her ways…" Yet again Link was left taken aback, as he could have sworn he detected admiration in the Lord's voice. "… There is none other at court so knowledgeable in the caveats of the law or possessing the skill to wield them so effectively."

Noticing the hero's surprised expression, the lord gave another chuckle, though it lacked the last's bitterness, instead rattling with rueful mirth. "A perfectly understandable reaction. From my past actions, you probably think I hate her and… for a time that wouldn't have been far from the truth. Hindsight and unexpected chains of events however, have a habit of… shaking one's perspective. I recognise that I held her highness responsible for hardships, of which she was entirely blameless and brought her undeserved hardship in return…"

Link struggled to prevent himself gaping in shock. He found it near impossible to reconcile the quiet penitent man before him with the obnoxious, slanderous slime ball who'd blustered his way into oblivion back in Ordon, three months past. It turned out, however, that this confession was just the prelude to the real shocker.

"The same could be said of my treatment of you…" WHAT! "While in all honesty, I still must voice my strong disapproval at the nature of your association with her royal highness, on political and social grounds, I must admit that I have… misjudged you. I thought you to be nothing more than a… a cowardly, manipulative weasel leeching off another's glory and a girl's naivety, possessing neither the courage or the capability to accomplish such feats. Well your actions have proved me wrong."

The cogs of his brain slipping in disbelief, Link managed a sputter of incredulity " ?"

"Contrary to what you and many of your comrades probably think, I have not been quite so neglectful of my duties as this room would say. I receive reports and I have heard much of your fighting skills, even witnessed them on a couple of occasions. The way you fight… is not that of a duelling school, but of a man who's truly seen his share of combat."

A mist of melancholy descended over the Lord's gaze and he turned from the stunned hero and shuffled across to one of the display cabinets. The glass pane hissed as he slid it open and picked up one of the most ornate medals, which glittered in the reflected sunlight as he caressed it in his hands. "I know this will probably seem hard to believe but I did not earn these medals through nepotism, reading reports as a table tapping bureaucratic. I was once a knight, one of the finest of my age… and I… saw combat also. For that reason, I hold in high regard those who have served the kingdom with bravery and nobility, qualities I once considered impossible in one of your station. Whether the full extent of her highness's claims about you are true or not, I do believe you are, as she stated, a hero and for that… you have my respect."

He glanced at Link, neither his gaze nor his voice betraying any strain or concealed disgust in admitting such a sentiment, though the hero searched desperately to find it. Staying silent, his mind still in turmoil, trying to decipher Halshaw's intentions, Link merely stared as the Lord carefully replaced the medal in its display and turned back to face him. As Halshaw approached his eyes suddenly narrowed and Link instinctively tensed.

"Of course, one could question the true extent of your nobility when you attack my son outside of an agreed challenge…" Ah here's the twist! I knew it!

Link opened his mouth to protest, yet something held his tongue and allowed Halshaw to say his peace. "however, it can also be argued that… my son's behaviour and actions, were equally ignoble. Besides, her highness has informed me you will receive a suitable punishment for your indiscretions, just as my son has for his flouting of knightly tradition."

Yet again, malice and contempt were searched for but not found in Halshaw's tone. Instead the most blatant emotion that could be gleaned from his stoic tone was that of subtle disappointment, seeping through his last words. Disappointment in his son?

Link was adrift, thrown be the complete contradiction to the man who, he kept reminding himself, had previously attempted to run both his and Zelda's reputations through the thickest mud he could find, before spitting on them. Yet despite his best efforts, he was gripped by an inexplicable gut feeling that the Lord was genuinely sincere. Regardless of the truth, however, there were still some sore points of contention which the Lord had seemingly omitted from his little rationalisation of last week's events, namely his own hand on them.

He was about to raise the point, and most likely Halshaw's temper, when the return of the servants halted the conversation.

"Ah, I trust all items have been transfer to my chambers safely?" The Lord clipped.

The servant was hesitant, clearly nervous as he fidgeted with his sleeves "Well almost all, My Lord. Unfortunately, Lady Halshaw… she…"

Halshaw's expression instantly soured at the mention of his wife and he snapped sarcastically. "What does her ladyship command now?!"

"She, um, objects to your hunting trophies, My Lord. Indeed, she has taken to blocking the door to anyone bearing one."

Halshaw grit his teeth and rubbed his stormy brow intensely with a finger and thumb. "Grrrr. Fine! Fine! Just… take up those cabinets and I'll come and deal with her ladyship shortly."

By his orders, six servants surrounded the cabinets and heaved them aloft, only for two empty bottles to tumble out from one of them, somehow miraculously surviving the descent before rolling against the floorboards, kicking up dust along the way. The Lord appeared to flinch at the sight. "Careful!" he bellowed. Link, however, couldn't help but notice Halshaw's gaze following the rolling bottles, rather than his prized medal displays as they were hauled away. Had he spied shame in the man's eyes? disgust?

With the cabinets safely manoeuvred through the doorway, two more servants moved to lift the trunk.

"Stop! I don't want that. That stays."

"But My Lord? These are your…"

"I know what they are…" The Lord snarled before, with pause and a deep calming breath, he stated more steadily. "I don't want them anymore."

The servants exchanged looks of shock but did not question their master and hastily slipped away leaving just Link and Lord Halshaw, who was currently fixated on the abandoned trunk. A cloud of dust, stirred up from the cabinets, drifted across the now empty shell of, what Link presumed must have once been a rather grand ostentatious monument to the now lowly lord and his past glories and esteemed position. It now stood as a reminder of all the Lord had lost, deservedly or not. A testament to a man's failure.

Link did not possess such a physical space himself, yet as a faint echo of Nightmare Ganondorf's words bubbled up from the darkest recesses of his thoughts, he couldn't shake the disturbing notion that he may carry a similar space with him… somewhere in his mind. "Behold your failure!"

The atmosphere was cold and hauntingly empty, with the summer sun through the windows offering no respite. The hero shivered involuntarily, struck by the eerie sensation of having walked across someone's grave. Halshaw didn't react, simply staring at the mystery container.

"What's in there?" Link asked, barely more than a whisper.

…

"Five bottles of premium Brandy" came the hushed reply and the Lord finally tore his eyes away to regard the hero pensively. "You or your fellow officers are welcome to it."

"Is it poison?" Link asked sardonically, though he was not fully able to disguise his twinge of genuine suspicion.

The Lord simply gave a wry smile and turned towards the door "Hero, from what these last few years have taught me… all drink is poison. It's just one of the two poisons in life insidious enough to convince you it's worth having."

"What's the other?"

The Lord paused but for a moment before replying "… love… and now if you'll excuse me, I have affairs to attend to. My other poison is calling."

Without waiting for a farewell or even an acknowledgement from the hero, Halshaw shuffled out, his heavy footsteps creaking down the corridor, finally disappearing out into the full light of day. Link remained in the depressing pale emptiness, his only company a dusty desk and a dubious trunk, his restless mind a whirl of conflicting theories and assumptions, all left unanswered.

Had anything Halshaw said been truly genuine? And if so, then how much? Had he honestly changed? It all seemed sincere, but then he had little understanding of the machinations of the court elite and their deceptions. He'd appeared to be disappointed in his son's actions surrounding the incident of the Holmgang, yet Halshaw junior's motives had seemingly been fuelled by his fathers own distorted telling of the Ordon incident. Was his disappointment simply a façade to try and distance himself from the whole affair in an effort to insulate what little reputation he still had?

All these appeared on casual inspection to be plausible, even likely hypothesise, yet his old naïve conscience adamantly insisted on Halshaw's sincerity. Should he trust in empathy or cynicism?

Then there was the mystery of the trunk. Did it really contain brandy or something more sinister? There was only one way to find out. He approached the trunk warily and noted the lack of dust. Clearly it, like the medals, had received rather more attention than the rest of the room.

Slipping the latch cautiously, he lifted the lid to reveal, just as the Lord had said, five bottles of premium Eldin brandy… along with three empty ones.

What in Hyrule was he supposed to do with these? His time in the ranks may have introduced him to alcohol, including brandy, but he could scarcely be considered a big drinker and he had no fondness for brandy, no matter the quality. Then again, this stuff was no cheap swill, so simply chucking it would be a shameful waste, particularly when he knew several people who would very much appreciate it. Borri sprang readily to mind. Perhaps he could claim he used his winnings to buy them, gift one to Borri in leu of the round he promised and donate the real winnings to the orphanage. A pretty genius plan…

that was…

if the contents of the bottles were genuine!

Could they actually be poisoned?

Why though would Halshaw go to the trouble of poisoning them? To get at him?! Halshaw had no way of predicting his completely coincidental arrival.

Could they be poisoned as weapons against court rivals? Possible but then why would he leave them in a trunk within arm's reach of where he sat and, apparently, spent much of his time drinking himself into oblivion? That sounded like a recipe for disaster.

The man appeared to have made a concerted stab at maintaining sobriety. Was it as simple as him not wanting them anymore to avoid temptation? If so then why not sell them? He could hardly call himself an expert on fine alcohol but five bottles of Premium Eldin Brandy?! That was probably worth about 6 months wages for a legate like him, though to someone like Halshaw, such wealth was likely a trifle. Wait! Perhaps that was it? Was this a peace offering of sorts? Not that there had been a war, just simmering contempt between them, but Halshaw had seemed to expect retaliation in some form.

Or maybe…

Perhaps he'd discarded them because he sensed someone else's far more malevolent spite laced into the liquid within? Could Halshaw have suspected foul play and thought to kill, quite literally in Link's case, two birds with one stone by passing off his poisoned luxuries on to a man he despised?

Once again, his gut gave an emphatic no. The laws of plausibility and probability seemed, shockingly, to favour Halshaw's intentions being innocent as well, though his cynical side remained sceptical.

He picked up one of the bottles and examined it intently. With no visible abnormalities found, he turned his keen nose to the conundrum, prizing the top off and taking a deep sniff of the dark amber liquid's aroma. Nothing out of the ordinary was beheld in the heady scent, only its undeniably strong alcoholic kick and he could almost feel his eyes cross from the inebriating fumes.

Link set the bottle down on the table and spent a minute just glaring at it, as his mind ran through the permutations and possibilities again. Had he intended to keep them to himself, he would have happily dismissed the threat of poisoning as absurd paranoia, accepting the risk without a second thought. The problem was it wasn't his life he was gambling and THAT was a risk he couldn't accept.

There were only two options; he could chuck it or he could test it on himself. He was the prime candidate, with his superior endurance along with his handy possession of two healing potions. True, there was no knowing whether healing potions could actually counteract a poison's effects, but if anyone was going to find out, it could only be him.

With determination brewing in his chest and plans stewing in his brain, Link swung his traveling satchel from his back and bundled the brandy in. It was quite a squeeze and quite a weight but after a minute of swapping, shifting and struggling, all the bottles were safely stowed on his back and he limped out of the room, glad to escape its eerie ambience. The load sure wasn't helping his ankle or his wrist but he was damned if he was going to ask for help. He'd had more than enough of that from the nurses!

His stratagem was simple; head to his room and, making sure he had a potion on standby, sample each of the bottles in turn and see what happened. Taking a moment to regain his bearings in the unfamiliar corridor, his formidable sense of direction led him away from the light of the outside world to the end of the corridor, following a hunch. The hunch was proven right when, taking the first left, he was presented with the corridor to the mess hall. How had his boundless curiosity never brought him up this far before now?

No matter. The satchel was gaining pounds by the second and his ankle was screaming bloody murder so he attempted to pick up his pace… and promptly collided with a soldier exiting the mess.

Link would have generally expected a wave of casual expletives after such a collision, yet all he received was a gasp of terror. one look at the afflicted party told him why.

Zorran had his back pressed to the wall, terror filling his eyes as he stared unseeing, straight through the very man who'd almost knocked him over. It was a look the hero recognised all too well and he hastily worked at trying to calm the petrified soldier before he started whimpering… or worse, screaming.

"Zorran. Zorran… Zorran" He tried as calmly and softly as possible, yet his attempts failed to penetrate the terror filled haze that suffocated his comrade behind glazed grey eyes.

He quickly scanned the mess to see if he could locate Borri, who was far more proficient at breaking his traumatised friend from these trances, but he was nowhere to be seen. Link's heart sank.

It sank still further when, turning his attention back to Zorran's petrified form, he saw the book, clutched vice like in his frozen fingers. "Madam Safi: manifestations of the mystic." He was still reading her books?!

He had held out a vain hope that telling Zorran some of what he knew of the Twilight invasion might help to ease the man's disturbed mind and stop him from seeking answers from such uninformed, unsavoury sources. Borri had been right to label the "esteemed" madam a mad old coot, her ravings varying from the harmlessly bizarre to the dangerously deranged. For all their combined efforts dissuading him from his quest, simply knowing what happened would not satisfy the haunted man as he sought something no mortal could truly provide. A reason! Some divine justification for the kingdoms suffering and, with his prayers failing to stir an answer from the Goddesses, he turned to quacks and charlatans for a salvation that didn't exist. He was far from the only one, as "mystics", "seers" and "spirit guides" had sprouted like a pox in the aftermath of the invasion, preying on the fears and ignorance of the vulnerable and the grieving. It made him sick just thinking about it.

For all his compulsion to snatch the book from Zorran's frozen hands, Link knew that trying to force him to stop could well end up making matters worse. The fact was a solution, if there even was one, was just as elusive to the hero as it was the still petrified soldier.

With words alone having failed to break through the nightmare, which held the man's mind hostage, Link gently laid a hand on his shoulder and tried again. "Zorran, Zorran… It's alright. It's me… Link."

Contrary to the sudden violent, scream accompanied jump he'd expected with his friend's jolt back to reality, what occurred was closer to a gradual thaw, as life and recognition slowly seeped back into the glazed stare. The taut and twisted brow slackened and, with an audible crack, the jaw, clenched in terror, unlocked and released.

Regret, trepidation and shame flashed across Zorran's face in quick succession and upon recognising Link, he reflexively hid the book from view. "Oh, uh, uh sorry Link. I didn't… didn't see you there. Err, err you all fixed up then?" He stammered, trying and failing to summon a façade of nonchalance. It was the expected reaction.

"Well, I'm on the mend. Off duty for a month but I'm recovering… how about you?" Link hesitantly probed, similarly missing the mark of feigned nonchalance.

"Oh, I'm alright. I still have… err… problems but then… haha… so does everyone, right? Nothing to worry about."

"Well that's good to hear. But you know… if you need help with anything…"

"Oh yeah sure, sure, I will, I will. Now er… I hate to rush off but er… I'm late for my guard shift."

Link watched as the haunted man fled down the corridor and out of sight. For all their best efforts, he appeared to be getting worse! In his fractured state of mind, he was wholly unfit for a soldier's life, yet there was only one other choice available. At least here he had others who could look out for him, for all the good that it did. Just another person he couldn't save.

Trudging off once more towards his courters, the satchel growing more cumbersome with each passing minute, he turned his thoughts back to the Halshaw dilemma. No new conclusion was reached, sealing his fate. He'd be drinking one way or another!

It was a great relief when he finally reached his room. Of course, it being solely his courters, no candles had been lit and the single slit window along the line of the ceiling offer precious little illumination but he could manage fine in the gloom.

Everything was just as he'd left it. A modest single bed consumed the space from the door to the far corner, with his "adventure" chest standing sentry at its feet. A simple, sturdy cupboard, the store for all his soldier's gear, miraculously squeezed into the gap between the bed and the opposite wall and a small table found just enough space alongside to coexist. The walls were barren barring two items, the only personal touches in the whole room. His Hylian shield hung by the door and simply nailed above his desk… was a sketch of Midna, the real one he'd come to know. The devious, mischievous, insufferable little smart mouth imp seemed so full of life on the page. Why did he put her up there?

Yet even as he pondered both his picture-perfect memory and his masochistic streak, Link couldn't suppress a smile at the sight of his room, after his week-long exile. His exhilaration at the joy of freedom, deflated by his recent sombre encounters, returned with a vengeance. So great was the elation that he dumped his satchel with rather less care than was wise considering its fragile and dubious cargo. Nevertheless, even the threatening clink of glass striking rather impetuously and its reminder of his potentially fatal experiment failed to bring down his suddenly soaring spirits.

The pungent smell of damp wood, the slow drip of the leaking roof in the corner, the particular creak of THAT floorboard and the sight of the chest and all the memories that lay within. "It's good to be home" he whispered in warm satisfaction.

Wait! Had he really just said that?! His relationship with this room could be described as turbulent at best, volcanic at worst. Well, maybe the proverb was true, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Either that or he was already drunk on brandy fumes!

The core of the matter though, which shook him ran far deeper, was the simple admission that this was, indeed, his home now. In just three months, his childhood home had been washed from the banks of his every waking thought to the rivers of his memory, yet on the river it had regained some of its purity and tranquillity, flowing gently through the back routes of his mind. The shadow of the twilight on the world of his childhood had faded, allowing the good times to a chance to shine through the gaps.

Still ruminating, Link turned his attention to his adventure chest, the holder of every artefact, item or curio he'd discovered on his six-month quest, each with its own tale he remembered all to well. Retrieving and lighting his special traveling lamp, he proceeded to rummage through his cornucopia of souvenirs and recollections, some compelling him to hold them and reminisce, while others left him baffled as to why he'd even kept them.

This was the first time most of them had seen the light of day since he moved here and upon seeing them again, he couldn't suppress an urge for melancholic sentimentality. He pawed through memories and remembrance, the flickering light of the lamp dancing on each object, drawing out every crack, every curve and every crease with faltering, fluxing shadow.

Ah, the dominion rod! Quite frankly, he hadn't a clue when he'd ever be in a situation of using it again, however he couldn't bring himself to part with it. Besides he couldn't just chuck it. If it fell into the hands of any one of his comrades, he could just see it becoming a tool for pranks. Oh, the chaos they could cause. He shivered. No! that's definitely staying safely hidden away.

Iron boots…

Double clawshot…

Then there was the fishing rod, complete with the coral earing gifted to him by Ralis, glinting in the lamplight. Man, he hadn't been fishing since the Twilight. Nor had he seen his Zora friend since his short visit in the direct aftermath of Ganondorf's demise. He'd need to find some time to rectify that… someday.

While small stabs of guilt and regret accompanied many of his ruminations, to his great surprise, the crippling fear which had haunted those memories back in Ordon was conspicuously absent. Was it his newfound purpose that held them at bay, his time away from Ordon… or perhaps the mere presence of a certain royal.

Link had come upon his sketchpad, open at his final piece of work in Ordon. His masterpiece, the profile, straight, proud and elegant, of a wise princess, calmly and effortlessly destroying a drunk dragon, spewing slander and slime from his vicious mouth but to no avail. Link smiled. It was his most perfect picture.

"Not surprising give the subject matter. She is rather perfect." Chirped a familiar voice from the back of his head. He could only snort derisively in response. If his heart carried on like this it could get him in real trouble. The sooner he could discard this insufferably insistent crush the better everything would be. Besides he was here to get a healing potion, not daydream of fairy tales.

Fortunately, with a little more digging he found one of his two remaining bottles of the red medicine and, with a few distractions, set about preparing his "experiment", clearing his desk, retrieving his standard pewter tankard from the cupboard and recovering the, miraculously unharmed, brandy bottles from the satchel. The next stage was momentarily delayed by another reminder of the princess, namely the book she'd gifted him, sitting in the bottom of the satchel. What he'd read of it had certainly been fascinating, however he suspected that, for all the thought she'd given of leaving him something to occupy his restless mind, she'd neglected considering the practicalities of handling such a monstrous tome… when you've a broken wrist to nurse.

Nevertheless, having swallowed what morsels of pride remained with him in that infirmary bed, driven by inescapable boredom, he'd had the chance to flit through a few chapters with the help of the matron. He'd learnt of the origins and history of true holmgangs, and hopefully how to avoid getting involved in another. The books knightly traditions had also held some illuminating and eye-opening insights into the duties and mind set of nobility, but what had really caught his interest was the potential implications of the princess's second bookmarked chapter.

It appeared that, in order to circumvent the military authority of disciplining knights, Zelda had called upon an ancient knightly tradition called a "duty of reverence". It was tied into a whole slew of enigmatic rules and tenants of knightly conduct but, from what he could decipher, it gave a prince or princess power to issue one direct command to any knight in the kingdoms service and, as long as said order was legal, the knight was honour bound to carry it out, regardless of the authority of the army's grand general. To refuse would be to dishonour themselves and their families, as well as seeing them potential stripped of their knighthood. Apparently, Zelda had, in what was probably a highly unconventional use of the noble tradition, given the "honourable" Sir Eddengrin Halshaw a truly devious order as means of punishment. Link just wished he knew what it was so he could gloat. Maybe he wouldn't gloat to the man's face but knowing Eddengrin's fate would certainly give him some satisfaction. Indeed, just thinking of possible humiliating options brought a warm fuzzy feeling to his stomach.

After a moment smirking at a blank wall, revelling in running through suitably repugnant punishment options, Link came to his senses, turning his attention back to his important experiment.

Time to taste test some potentially poisoned brandy… and hopefully live to witness whatever torment the Beautiful princess had concocted for her least favourite knight. Also, he'd just love to see the princess again.

With the bottles lined up in a neat row, Link started by picking up each one and investigating its aroma thoroughly. As with the one he'd tested before nothing stood out as suspect.

He poured a small measure of the first bottle into the tankard and waited for a possible reaction. Nothing happened, not that he'd expected it to. Looked like there was no getting out of it… other than just chucking the lot.

He glared at the liquid and rallied himself to face the possibly lethal liquor. Oh come on! It's not like he hadn't faced almost certain death a million times before and those were far more credible threats than this.

He picked up the tankard and swirled it for a few seconds. Oh well, bottoms up! He raised it to his lips…

Actually, was he sure he had enough to properly judge? Perhaps a little more just to be certain.

The amber liquid glugged all too merrily into the pewter vessel until it was close to a full measure. And now for the moment of truth…

Subtle sweetness and essence of oak slide smoothly down the throat, only sharpened by the kick of alcohol, a far less unpleasant sensation than suspected. Even the pewter tankard did little to sully the luxurious ambers flavour. Could it be he actually had a taste for this drink?

Irritatingly, he knew he should wait before confirming that theory with a taste from the second bottle. After all, some poisons take a little while to act… or so he assumed. He was no expert on poisons.

And so, he waited, drumming his fingers impatiently on the desk as the minutes crawled by. He'd had such a simple schedule planned this morning; pay Epona a well-deserved visit and then off to the library to start his mission on learning politics. Instead he'd suffered two uncomfortable encounters with two unsettled people, both of whom would have probably rather not seen him either. Now to cap it off, he was wasting precious moments testing brandy bottles for poison… which probably isn't there.

Well he didn't feel any different. Time for the next one. He poured out close to another full measure from the second and after another swirl swigged it down. Same taste, and blow him down, he may actually like it!

Another wait, another non-event. How Long should he wait anyway? Was there some set rule for poisons or should he just wing it? Well, being as he knew practically nothing about such things that question answered itself.

Alright. On to the next one.

"Woah, you can really feel the alcohol in them" he audibly gasped as the third measure slipped down his throat, shaking his head like the wolf he once was, trying to shake the mist slowly descending on his faculties.

It made for an impressive anaesthetic though. His ankle's throbbing had been drowned out and his wrist was fast on the way out too. Far from poisoning him, this drink was the best medicine he'd had all week!

Ok. Now for number four…

And a glorious one it was! He was actually enjoying this. A welcome change of pace and he was barely even tipsy. He'd figured himself a lightweight but clearly not. He… was… MIGHTY!

…

Um…

How much was a measure again?

Icy blues squinted at the liquid with almost pained concentration, yet it remained tantalisingly unfocused.

Perhaps a smidge more maybe?

Oh well, that looks… about right. Bottoms up for number five!

Aaaaaaaaah. Another satis… satisfying drink and it seemed his gut instinct was right all along. No ulter… ulterior motive to found. He felt Fiiiine, indeed better than fine, he felt fantastic and… getting more fantastic by the second. True, the room was beginning to sway, but that's just part of being drunk, right? Regular drunk, not reeeaaallly drunk. Reeeaaallly drunk was when you fall over.

Ummm…

So, he'd tested and the bottles weren't poisoned. Ok, what now? He was sure he'd had a plan for the day.

…

Of Course! Epona, his rusty stare, er trusty mare.

Link strode towards the door; strident, majestic and wobbling like a broken pendulum…

On second thought, perhaps he should wait till the room stopped spinning. It shouldn't take long for the worst to wear off. He certainly wasn't going to late it waste his hold day.

How bad could it be?


	20. A Noble Stead May Disagree

**A.N: Hello my fantastic readers! Hope you're all well and safe during this time of unprecedented upheaval. I very much hope I can offer an entertaining distraction with another chapter and that you're still finding the story engaging. If you have any constructive feedback, as always, it's appreciated.**

**Now without further ado sit back, relax and enjoy the next riveting chapter.**

**P.S: If you see spelling mistakes, blame Link! He's the one who's drunk after all.**

**Chapter 19 – A Noble Stead May Disagree**

Hyrule Barracks stables – 190 days A.G

He'd given it an hour…

An hour Lying on his bed while the room span, faster than the seconds on the clock, which dragged pitifully slow with boredom. Fortunately, the merry-go-round eased by the time the distant chime of the clock tower signalled midday, the exuberant bells spurring him into action. While it was true that he still wasn't fully compost minutes, surely he was capable of managing such a mundane journey as a trip to the stables?

And indeed, he was… some of it even in a straight line!

Now Link soaked up the glorious summer weather as he weaved his way towards the growing smell of hides, hay and horse crap, grinning from ear to ear, drink brightening his disposition just as much as the sun's rays. With his ankle and wrist painless for the first time in a week, he would have felt like skipping if not for the rocking sensation that still accompanied his every movement.

Rounding the corner of the barracks, the stables came into view. A series of wooden stalls flanked a small paddock on three sides, while the forth side was bordered by the barracks itself. Huddled between two stalls at the far end was a gate leading through to the barracks gatehouse, beyond which lay the wide expanses of Hyrule field. Epona was likely desperate to frolic out there, but she would be doomed to disappointment, as while Link could visit her, he was in no fit state for a ride, even if he weren't under the influence. More than enough examples of what happens when you flout the golden rule "Don't drink and ride" had passed through the infirmary to teach him not to try it, even with his current inflated confidence.

Said confidence was almost punctured when, letting his legs carry him without much thought as to where, he narrowly avoided acquiring a new brown colour pallet on his freshly cleaned black boots, along with a pungent fragrance of Eau Du Manure. Phew, that was lucky!

Casting his eyes around the stables suddenly revealed the full extent of the problem. Greice and the other stable hands must be off their game today, judging by the good dozen more he could spy around the yard. After several close calls and near misses, he stumbled his way into Epona's stall… or at least he'd thought it was Epona's!?

"Sorry, I'll leave you to your… hay." He mumbled as he backed away from the gate. The large dappled grey stallion whose feast he'd so rudely interrupted, eyed him suspiciously, pausing mid munch to study him intently.

So where was Epona's stall? He must have miscounted, but she couldn't be far. Perhaps…?

Link began to Hum an old tune, brimming with sentimental memories of the duo and their humble beginnings. Within seconds there was a familiar neigh from two stalls down, shortly followed by the appearance of an equally familiar chestnut head popping over the stall gate. Ah, there you are… and seemingly in a good mood.

"Hey there Epona."

Any appearance of a good mood proved short lived as, upon reaching her, she took one sniff in his presence and promptly recoiled in disgust. Had his feet found some stealthy horse manure? An inspection of his boots came back negative. The act of looking down did however yield another possible answer. He stank of brandy.

It was little wonder the mare was repulsed by such an odour given her last experience with a man wearing it, namely Lord Halshaw. He considered trying to explain the situation, however the more he thought about it, the more obvious it became that it was beyond any horse's intelligence to unravel. Heck, the more he thought about it, the less HE could understand it. To inflict such confusion upon her could probably be classified as torture.

If she hadn't already been annoyed at him before, she certainly was now, presenting her rump and a disapproving snort, while he hung back cautiously at the stall gate. The mare was having one of her legendary strops, made clear by an angry stomp and flaring nostrils as she fixed a dark eye on him. She looked undeniably unkempt and, glancing around her stall, so did her home. No wonder she was so irritated.

Solving this would undoubtedly require a level of tact and probably a fair bit of bribery, and knowing her, she'd probably milk it for all it was worth. Sighing in resignation, the "tipsy" hero hesitantly crossed the threshold to begin negotiations with his furious friend.

The mares opening play in this negotiation was swift, decisive… and wholly unexpected. A devastating surprise attack with rump and a slap of the tail was enough to unbalance the inebriated Link and, after a brief impression of a windmill losing its foundations, his own rump went for an unexpected swim.

"Epona, I don't need a bath!" He cried, struggling to extricate his thoroughly soggy bottom from the water trough.

Epona clearly disagreed as she reversed once more and almost knock him straight back in.

"Seriously. Cut it out!" He snapped, exasperated but hastily reigned it in, lest he encourage further wrath. Perhaps a general apology would make an adequate peace offering? "Look Girl, I'm sorry. Ok… I'm sorry."

There was a pregnant pause before, apology apparently accepted, the mare begrudgingly sidled away, braying shrilly like a laugh. She still wouldn't face him though, not that he'd been expecting her to.

Despite his soaked pants and her disgruntled demeanour, Link couldn't suppress a wry smile, as he shook his head drolly and the duo began their time-honoured traditional dance for such occasions. It was an intricate ballet where Link would try to get close to her head, and Epona would try and stop him. It proved rather more challenging in the confined space of the stall, doubly so when the world was rocking like a boat on lake Hylia. The waters may have been calm but that didn't stop him from accumulating clumps of hay up to his chest, as he performed his best impression of a toddler chasing a leaf in a strong wind. Epona performed dual roles as both the leaf and the wind, blowing him away; sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally.

"And you give me grief for smelling like a br… like a brewery?!" Link muttered drolly, eyes crossing from the whiff, as he staggered once more to his feet.

Despite his stumbles and the rare gas attack, he eventually succeeded, though he had a sneaking suspicion Epona let him, having already gained sufficient amusement at his expense. He dusted down his tunic and trousers as best he could, trying to gauge the mare's mood. She was calmer but it was clear more diplomacy was required, along with some urgent grooming.

He retrieved her favourite brush from a hook on the wall and got to work. "I'm sorry girl, I really am. You know I wouldn't abandon you but unfort…fortunately I wasn't exactly in a fit state to visit…"

Epona craned her neck to give him a haughty look, which spelt out clear as day "and who's fault was that then!"

"Hey, don't look at me!" Link huffed "A knight challenged me to a duel, the son of that rude lord we met back in Ordon, remember him girl?"

A derisive snort and flaring nostrils gave an emphatic answer.

"Yeah well, turns out his son's even worse! Anyway, we duelled and, despite his many attempts at cheating, even roping in his squire to help him, I eve…eventually won, but not without receiving a beating. Damn near broke half my bones cos he fights dirty. As a result, I spent the last week in the infirm. recovering."

He was pretty sure she got the general gist of his explanation but it was clear he'd be receiving little by way of sympathy, judging by another snort from his hot-headed friend.

"Hey it's not my fault. Besides, the princess ordered me to stay in bed. You wouldn't want me disobeying the princess, would you? Then I'd be locked up in the dungeon and you'd never get your apples or a brushing. You wouldn't want that, would you?"

The stubborn mare finally capitulated with a shake of her head and a soft neigh.

Link took stock of his hooved friend's dishevelled state and shook his head. "I'm guessing you've refused anyone else grooming you? That's why you're so messy, hmm? You know what I still don't get, Girl. If you have such a problem with people, why'd you never kick up a fuss with Ilia? Oh, or the princess for that matter?"

Epona's beady gaze roughly translated to "Duh, do you really need an answer?!" Well, even if there was one, he wouldn't get it. Just another reason why he missed his wolf abilities. For all their bond and the understanding that came with it, it could never compare to the intricate expressions of an actual conversation. Broad brushstrokes as opposed to details fine as a single strand of hair.

He sighed and the duo settled into comfortable silence, the mare finally dropping her grudge and relaxing into the brushing. Her pricked ears told him she wasn't entirely calmed but that was hardly surprising. As he passed by her head, she even gave him a conciliatory nuzzle and shuffled carefully round to give him more room on her other side. The truth was, she could never be mad at him for too long.

The minutes were marked by the early afternoon shadows, creeping languidly by to the sound of brushing, the infrequent clip-clop of hooves and the chatter of a nest of swallows hidden somewhere in the rafters.

With the hard work of diplomacy done, Link's early cheery disposition was rapidly returning. This combined with Epona's familiar presence brought on a new wave of reminiscing. Memories flowed forth and, in her comfortable company, he shared them with a quiet murmur, to which she listened intently, occasionally adding a gentle nicker in reply. She'd witnessed many of them and was his one steadfast companion who'd been there since the beginning.

From tales of childhood pratfalls in Ordon to stories of deadly breakneck dashes across Hyrule field, he felt compelled to share them and in exchange was granted some small grace of catharsis. Most of them he'd never shared before and he suspected he probably had the brandy to thank for loosening his tongue. Epona was an ever-diligent listener yet her inability to speak deprived him of the true closure he desired. Nevertheless, the memories lacked the sadness which often pervaded them, a fact which could also be put down to the effects of his drink. Drink, however would never be a substitute for actually availing himself of those painful memories to someone he could actually converse with.

He was brought back to the princess's words that night in Ordon. "Sharing with an understanding friend can sometimes be the first step." Such a prospect didn't seem so hard with his current, alcohol-fuelled confidence, but could he really open up when the time came?

His thoughts were interrupted by an approaching squeak, the crunching of boots on gravel and a tenfold increase in the stench of manure. A stable hand was coming? Good! he could ask them about why it was so messy around here.

The gate of the neighbouring stall scraped open and from the corner of his eye he caught sight of a giant entering. Only Greice was THAT tall. "Hey Greice, how…"

"Oh, it's you hedgeborn." That growling voice certainly wasn't Greice. Of all the people he had the misfortune of running into! Hang on, what was HE doing here?! He should be off doing his "duty… of… reverence."

As realisation dawned on him, he fought valiantly to restrain a gleeful grin as he slowly turned to his nemesis. Oh Zelda, you haven't…

She had!

Oh Zelda, you diabolical genius!

"Sir" Halshaw, sidled in, hauling a wheelbarrow full of equine excrement, his stately armour replaced with ragged cream coloured overalls, liberally stained with streaks of brown. To add to his "peasant persona" his immaculate black hair had been "restyled" with the clear aid of a pudding bowl. The sour expression, like a dog who'd lost his bone, his balls and his dignity, completed the look perfectly.

Link gazed upon this glorious sight with a mixture of amazement and barely contained ecstasy. He never knew Zelda had it in her. The job was one thing but the pudding-basin haircut?! That was quite another!

Stopping himself just short of descending into another round of princess worship, he was instead reminded of her warning in her letter to be cautious when handling the nobles. As delicious a comeuppance as it was to witness, it would be most unseemly to gloat. No, he was a hero of great virtue and he would be sensible… and civil. He absolutely would not…

"Well HELLLOOOOOHOHOHO!" he chortled, his voice jumping an octave in exuberant delight, while a gleeful grin threatened to split his own face in two. "How great it is to see you take the role you so clearly deserve. One could say you were born for this job."

His first insult had the knight grinding his teeth. The second had him whirling round, wild eyed and wearing a twisted expression Link couldn't entirely decipher. "What do you mean?!" he blurted.

Wow! he'd expected anger but not the defensive, almost panicked tone. Guess he struck a nerve. "Isn't it obvious" He replied smugly. "You spent your time stirring muck and now your job's to collect it. Love the hair by the way. The classic, like a… like a upside down bird's nest…" Ok, that joke got away. "… so "popular" with us common folk. Proetic justice if I…"

"What?!" Halshaw suddenly interjected, expression having cooled from distressed outrage to mere simmering anger.

This interruption completely threw Link's flow. "What?" he replied in bemusement. He thought he'd made himself perfectly clear.

"You said proetic."

"No, I didn't!" Link protested, despite the fact he was well aware of his mistake. it probably wasn't best to clue in the knight to his current intoxication. Speaking of which, perhaps he should follow Zelda's advice and tone down the insu…

"Yes, you did cumberwold! Looks like that bash on the head took what little intelligence you may have once possessed. Leave it to an uneducated oaf like you to fail at the basics of erudite enunciation. You attempt to mimic your betters but you will always fail."

Oh, he wasn't about to let that slide. "Funny coming from a man shovelling shit. Is all of it the horse's or is some of it your own?"

"I wouldn't be here were it not for "her illustrious royal highness" and her dishonesty." Halshaw snapped bitterly, turning back to his work with contempt.

Was this really where they were going? Again?! "For the last time, nothing happened with me and Zel… er, Her Royal Highness! Besides, I distink… distinctly remember you promising you'd drop the matter if she won that archery contest, which, as I recall, she did!"

"All the contest proved was the fact she lacked the honour or decency to win fairly…"

"You were the one who forced her to take such an… unorth… unortho… unnnn…" Oh damn his drunk ass brain! "novel approach when you stacked the contest against her with that bow. Besides, I believe she more than proved her abilities."

"Ha! I'll admit her final two shots were undoubtedly impressive but It hardly corroborates her story. Even if she did fight alongside you…" He snorted derisively "It does little to disprove her rumoured "indiscretion" and it certainly wouldn't be the first time a noblewoman has shirked her own bedchamber for another's when the mood strikes her…"

There Sir Halshaw went again, calling out the supposed rampant infidelity of the ladies of court, spoken with a fixated, almost zealous passion, as if quoting some sacred scripture. It was frankly slightly disturbing yet rather than interrupt, he decided to simply extract his brain from the conversation, letting the rant wash by him, while he turned his attention back to treating Epona, who was far more deserving of his time and energy.

"… Regardless this would hardly be her only deception. She may have cultivated a pristine image but she is far from holy and the only facet of her being which could be considered perfect is her ability to manipulate. My family has been her court plaything ever since she came to power, a pawn in her petty squabbles and a tool in her political machinations…"

Blah, blah, blah! More pity fishing, casting himself as the victim and the princess as the villain. What else was new? Zelda would never do anything like that!

There was a brief respite from the knight's ravings as Halshaw hauled the wheelbarrow out of neighbouring stall… and straight into his. Great! Epona shifted warily, fixing a beady eye on the knight, which he returned suspiciously.

"I should have known that stupid nag was yours. It would certainly explain her lack of respect!"

Lack of respect! What did he expect Epona to do?! Bow! "No, she's just a good judge of character."

"I am noble, of a prestigious bloodline and even beasts of burden should know to respect that. No matter. If she wishes to wallow in filth then I'm more than happy to oblige."

With Zelda and now Epona coming under siege, for all his verbal sparring, Link was seriously considering laying the blaggard out properly. The only thing stopping him was the memory of the last time he'd tried that particular manoeuvre. He shared a glance with his faithful steady, whose tensed jaw and flaring nostrils told all he needed to know of her feelings on the matter. If Halshaw carried on like this, he wouldn't need to do anything. Just let nature take its course. "You may want to watch your words "Cocksure", she may take offence."

"Bah, leave it to a hedgeborn brought up with animals to overestimate their intelligence, just as you clearly overestimate Her Highness's capacity for compassion and caring. She has played my family as a shield to distract the court from her own scandalous indiscretions for years, however we can take some small comfort knowing that our positions are indispensable… unlike yours! Sooner or later, when your usefulness has ended, she will show her true colours and you'll wish you played nicer with your betters, the only people who could preserve your position."

Link and Epona achieved miraculous synchronicity as they, to each other's great surprise, released a derisive snort in perfect unison.

Halshaw sneered. "Ignore my warnings as much as you want. I'll be the one laughing when, having exhausted your entertainment value, she casts you out like a leper. I'm sure, having entered the princess's palace, she has offered you much and being a gullible, crooked nosed knave, you've fallen for such empty promises without a thought. Well know this, so called hero, you sleep with dogs and you get fleas."

"See. Now, in our little duel last week, you called ME the dog and said I slept with my goats. Well if I'm the dog then that must make you the flea. It would certainly explain the itch on my arse every time we meet!" Link quipped with a smirk. It was fun speaking his mind for a change. He should do this more often! A small muffled voice in the back of his head warned him not to push his luck but, the exhilaration of riding the chariot of righteous ridicule drowned it out.

The sotted hero may have been enjoying it but the humiliated knight certainly wasn't, spitting through gritted teeth "Insolent insufferable Yaldson." With a vein throbbing in his temples, he returned to his shovelling and "accidental" missed the wheelbarrow, the brown slop landing just shy of Link's boots with a grotesque squelch.

"Hey, bullseye, looks like your aim's off." Link snarked and again the muffled voice of rationality beseeched from the depths of his mind, only to be ignored.

"Oh. I'm sorry. It occasionally happens, especially when in company of ignoble hedgeborn fopdoodles who lack the basic intellect to respect their noble superiors."

Link had the perfect line prepared as he sidestepped the slop and passed the fuming noble to replace the brush on its wall hook. "Did anyone ever tell you, Halshaw, you put the nob in nobi… nob in nobility." Damn you drink, screwing up a great line!

"Why you!… wait… what's that smell?" Halshaw's fury was suddenly spliced with suspicion, as he swung round to glare at Link, yet the stewed hero remained oblivious as to the reason as he sarcastically replied. "Don't know. Could be you or it could be…"

"I know that smell!"

"Well then it must be…"

"You're drunk!"

"No I'm not!"

The giants towering form bent double to bring his head closer to the hero's level and he drew a deep disturbing sniff, like a predator honing in on its prey. His eyes bulged as the cogs in his head turned and the pieces of the puzzle began slotting into place. "Premium Eldin Brandy! How did a degenerate welp like you get your hands on…" Then the final piece clicked. "you perfidious thieving snake! It was not enough for you that your meddling cost my father his rightful position as grand general. No, evidently you saw an opportunity to further insult him, by depriving him of his most precious possessions."

"What are you talking about?!"

"Don't play dumb! You stole my father's brandy! I know that smell all too well and I know just how expensive and rare it is. A runt of your standing could never earn enough to buy it, so…"

"Hey, I didn't steal anything, you ass! He gave them to me!"

"My father would never part with them, much less gift them to the likes of you, you lying little shit!"

It was as the fuming giant grabbed his tunic and hoisted him into the air that Link realised he maybe, possibly should have listened to the voice of rationality. Then again, how in Hyrule could he possibly have guessed the pompous git would recognise his father's brandy, particularly in such an already "pungent" environment?!

Halshaw's expression flicked inexplicably from raging inferno to disturbingly calm as he yanked Link to mere inches from his face. "You know what Hedgeborn? I'm feeling generous. you can keep that brandy. I don't care for it anymore than I care about whatever twisted debauchery you and the princess got up to that night. What I do care about is the damage your continued efforts to hide it have done to my family reputation. That's what's important. Bloodline is sacred and its reputation priceless! Yet, as you insist on protecting the illusion of your perfect princess along with your own petty insignificant standing, mine is tainted. So, I have a deal. You can keep your ill-gotten gains, which you should be able to sell for far more than the princess offered you, and in exchange, you will confess to your night of depravity with Her Royal Highness!" Throughout his ultimatum the knight had maintained a voice of frosty calm, only for the icy to be replaced by fire with his final hissing line.

Link stared into his steely grey orbs defiantly. "And if I refuse?" he asked, already predicting the answer.

"Then I'll send you straight back to the infirmary!" The knight snarled, with sufficient ferocity to drench his quarry in spit.

How predictable! Nevertheless, regardless of Lack of originality, it looked like Halshaw had left him just two options: lie, like a coward, to save his own skin at the expense of both his and Zelda's reputations or nobly sacrifice his flesh and blood in defence of a fair damsel's purity. The decision seemed obvious. Protecting Zelda came leagues above his own wellbeing…

There was however, a third option…a trade… a little dishonour for a very satisfying squeal. The last time he'd struck there had been an accident but not this time. He always strived for honourable conduct but, in Halshaw's case, he'd gladly make an exception.

The target was locked.

His boot was ready and in range, unwittingly assisted by his adversary holding him at the perfect height.

"Well?!" Halshaw snapped, unaware of the sudden and excruciating pain coming his way.

Link smirked and held the knights gaze. "Alright, Halshaw, you want a confession, here it is." Ok Cocksure, prepare to sing soprano!

3… 2… 1…

"Up Yo…"

Crash! Splat!

Link's low blow was interrupted by a sudden call of nature, as their equine audience, forgotten in the heat of the fight, played her trump card. With a loud whinny and a well-aimed hoof, Epona flipped the wheelbarrow, spraying its foul contents over the unsuspecting duo. Halshaw's back bore the brunt of the onslaught, as his massive frame proved an effective shield for the still airborne hero. The ambush had taken the unsuspecting duo completely off guard and thus they barely reacted, standing in stunned silence, as the brown slop plastered all available targets.

As the muck settled, the duo continued their staring contest, frozen in a state of shock, while the mare responsible bucked and spun on the spot, whinnying incessantly. Whether it was from agitation or triumph, Link couldn't guess, as he was still rather slow on the uptake, blinking gormlessly at his lock jawed opponent, who seemed to be developing a tremor. The tremor grew… and grew… until it gripped his whole body and Link, still grasped by the tunic, got to share in the localised earthquake. The giant's jaw was finally shaken free of it lock and, still wielding his little green nemesis in one hand, he whirled to the rebellious mare and roared "YOU… STUPID… LOATHESOME… UNTAMED… BEAST! I am Sir Eddengrin Halshaw, son of Lord Dorian Halshaw, master of…"

"Ahem, Gentlemen…" Halshaw's complexion flashed from red to white in the same span that it took for Link's stomach to sink into his boots and they both shot their mortified gazes to the stall entrance. Princess Zelda, ever elegant and immaculate, stood in the doorway, her lips a gaunt line, representing the thin ice they were clearly on, while her brows, heavy and thunderous, heralded the storm that awaited them, should they fail to fall in line.

While her voice betrayed little, staid, calm and flawlessly enunciated as always, warning and disapproval were carried in her words as she addressed them, "If you two are done behaving like rutting stags, perhaps you would not mind conjuring some semblance of civility and return to this place the peace and decorum it requires. You can start by releasing…"

"But your highness, He stole…"

"Your fathers brandy. Yes, I heard, and if it turns out to be true it will be up to your father to bring charges. It is not, however, up to you and it does not justify your deplorable conduct. Such posturing and aggression may impress some in the arena, but this Is not the training yard, this is not a duel and you have no audience to play to. So, this display is pointless. It only serves to agitate the horses."

"Now look here…"

"Interrupt me again, Sir Halshaw and I'll make sure one of my guards summons an audience and given your current condition I highly doubt you desire witnesses."

The knight fell silent and instantly dropped Link, who, ambushed by his sudden reunion with ground, promptly tripped straight into the water trough, face first. The shock of his impromptu dunking worked wonders for Link's sobriety, but the real shock came when, having removed his head from the water, he witnessed the giant's legitimately cowed expression. After the man's endless, seemingly irrepressible displays of his vainglory and victim complex in the training yard, even in the face of multiple defeats, he would have never imagined him surrendering it, especially in front of the princess. There he stood, back plastered with horse manure, facing the very two people who, as far as he was concerned, were responsible for putting him in this position, and yet he offered no rebuke, no snide remark and no protest. Why?

If Zelda was pondering that question, she certainly didn't show it, her visage softening by the slightest of degrees while her voice remained cool and imperious. "Good, nice to see that your courtly manners have not entirely deserted you Sir Halshaw. I did not come here expecting to find men demonstrating less civility than their horses. Now…" Her gaze flickered to Halshaw and she clicked her tongue. "You wish to speak Sir Halshaw?"

"Ahem, with all due respect, your highness, why then did you come here?" The knight's tone still carried a trace of his characteristic snideness but it was far less concentrated than Link had ever heard before.

"The purpose of my visit was threefold. Firstly, I wished to visit my stead, in what I had hoped would be a peaceful serene environment. Secondly, being that I was in the vicinity, I intended to pass on a message to Sir Link…" She turned her gaze to him "regarding his punishment which, following this incident, looks like it will require an extension…"

Link struggled to suppress his consternation at this apparent betrayal. How had any of this been his fault?! True, he had repeatedly insulted the knight, but really, he had it coming. Despite this he managed to hold his tongue, unlike Halshaw…

"And what of the…" The knight blurted, only to freeze as the princess arched a brow in warning. "Sorry" he mumbled and lowered his gaze

Zelda let the moment hang as she regarded the knight enigmatically. After a few seconds she nodded. "Proceed, Sir Halshaw."

"What of his horse?" He enquired, trying his best to conceal indignation.

"What of her?" she replied placidly.

"Well it blatantly deliberately attacked an esteemed member of the court. For that it too deserves punishment."

"Is that so, Hmmm? Tell me, Sir Halshaw, you have a horse, do you not?"

"Err yes. Among the finest in the land." He answered, somewhat bemused as to the question's relevance.

"A pure bred Lanayru stallion named Caesar, correct. An impressive breed."

"Obviously, Pure bred Lanayru's destriers are world renowned. I would not settle for anything less" Halshaw, despite his dishevelled appearance, puffed up with pride. It seemed the knight would jump at literally any opportunity to boast!

"Indeed, it is no surprise you take such great pride in him. Now, would you say that he is loyal and trusty stead?"

"Of course. Loyalty is a horse's greatest virtue. A horse without is just a beast."

Zelda's eyes held a gleam of triumph as she closed her trap. "And yet you called Link's mare a loathsome untamed beast and demand punishment, all for demonstrating the very virtue you prize most. A noble mare acts to protect her master as any loyal stead would, despite suffering great distress…" Link glanced at the noble mare in question, who was clearly "the picture definition of traumatised", ruminated on a mouthful of hay with all the urgency and distress of Mayor Bo on a hot day, while she watched the proceedings with equal nonchalance. Yeah. She wasn't exactly selling her part, not that she'd signed up for it anyway, but Zelda certainly was. "… and yet you would have her punished?!"

Halshaw opened his mouth to argue but quickly closed it again, realising that the princess had effectively corned him. After some pitiful meaningless sputters, the knight begrudgingly accepted defeat. "Well, at least it's master will get his punishment." He muttered to console himself. "So, what is it?"

"The specifics are not your concern."

"But…"

"Sir Halshaw, Justice is sacred and as royal princess it is my sacred duty to ensure that justice is delivered to its fullest extent, as befits the crime. Rest assured, Link will be punished to the fullest extent his transgression allows, however you are not obligated to know the details, particularly given your own involvement in the incident"

"Your highness! This…"

"Do I need to fetch an audience, Sir Halshaw?"

The knight bit his lip but dropped his protest, adopting of a manner of weary obsequiousness. "No, Your Highness. I will trust justice to be done… Now if her highness has no further need of me, I humbly request to be relieved from my current duties to recover some semblance of dignity."

"Certainly, Sir Halshaw. Once we have concluded here, I grant you release from your duties for the rest of the day…" The knight was instantly suspicious, given the princess's abrupt switch from cold to overly cordial manner. Link couldn't resist a smile, sensing another trap closing. "Our business however is not yet concluded, as I have yet to complete the third purpose of my being here, namely adjusting YOUR punishment."

"Adjustment?! W. do you mean adjustment?!"

"I have received multiple reports regarding your work, which are far from favourable. Numerous accounts of Substandard efforts, intolerable tardiness and rudeness towards other stable hands, so severe that some have refused to return until your removal, have led me to consider a different task for you."

"But that's not how the duty of reverence works?! You can only assign one task. ONE!"

"Ah, but it is stated in the knightly codex that, should a knight be deemed unfit for the task set, the royal who called upon the duty of reverence has power to assign a new task. Oh, and just to be clear, Sir Halshaw…" She paused for dramatic effect to skewer him with a knowing gaze. "it does not state how many times I can reassign you… just in case your poor performance was some elaborate ploy to escape your duty. But of course, that isn't like you at all, is it?"

Halshaw was utterly aghast, yet he obviously knew there was no escaping his fate. "What then, is my new task?" He hissed through gritted teeth.

Her cool demeanour brightened and her expression drifted closer to the prim princess mask Link knew all too well, complete with subtle smile. "Tomorrow, you will report to the east wing servant's corridor at 8 o'clock sharp and yes, that is in the morning. There you will ask for Phloris Preamer. She will be your new overseer and, rest assured, Sir Halshaw, she WILL get you working."

"But what is my punishment?!"

"That is for me to know and you to find out…" Zelda replied with just a hint of smug satisfaction peeking through her mask. The princess was clearly gleaning as much entertainment as she could from having the giant noble at her mercy. Link too, couldn't deny the warm gratification of watching the show, though whether that was more down to Halshaw's comeuppance or the beautiful princess delivering it, he couldn't say and, quite frankly, he didn't want to know. "Sir Halshaw, you are now dismissed."

The Knight ground his teeth and glared daggers at Zelda but she met it unflinchingly, her small smile unbroken. Link, however, wasn't quite so calm as his eyes caught sight of Halshaw's clenched fists. His entire body tensed and he could feel the familiar protection instinct kicking in.

The staring match continued, as Link's stomach proceeded to tie itself in ever tighter knots. Eventually, after a minute that felt like an hour, Zelda called an end to the proceeds. "You are dismissed, Sir Halshaw. If you require an escort, I'm sure my guards will oblige."

Halshaw's fists unclenched and, without a word, he stomped off towards the castle, carrying the stench of his defeats with him, plain to see as the hero and princess watched him go. Quite frankly, Link was surprised Zelda had shown the fortitude to stand near him for so long without wrinkling her nose in disgust. Nevertheless, while it was fair to say they were both equally glad to see the back of the disgusting knight, he couldn't help wondering whether he was destined to receive a similar tongue lashing from the princess.

"Legate Stanson, Legate Creig, Legate Romah…" Ok, why was she calling her guards over? "Please follow the honourable knight and ensure that he does not make a mess. I suspect he may choose a less than suitable place to clean his clothes to spite me."

"But your highness, that would leave you alone." One guard replied in puzzlement.

"On the contrary, I have the saviour of the kingdom for company. Surely, I could ask for no better protection."

"But, errr, your highness, he's off active duty due to injury." Another piped up nervously.

"Legates!" She snapped, her mask cracking, revealing the exasperation she'd so valiantly suppressed.

"Yes" they said in unison, jolting to attention

"It was an order, not a request. Now get after him before he uses the fountain of Nayru in the palace gardens as a laundrette."

Her guards, still visibly baffled, nevertheless obeyed and dashed off in pursuit. Once they were out of sight the princess let out a long beleaguered sigh and swirled round, graceful as only a princess could be, to face the hero, wearing her unreadable mask. He, nevertheless, sought to decipher it. Her prim and proper smile was in place. Her blue orbs were a mist covered ocean with unfathomable currents which pulled him in, without letting him know their direction. Her brows, often quirked in some manner of subtle emotion, were perfectly placid.

Was it the drink or was she looking even more stunning today? Ok, why was he even considering when he was facing the prospect of the greatest tongue lashed he'd ever had the misfortune of receiving!

After a brief silence, where they exchanged nothing more than their gazes, Zelda click her eloquent tongue and shook her head. "Honestly, Sir Link, would it have been too much to ask for a few days respite before stirring up another diplomatic incident?"

"I'm sorry, your highness." He replied ruefully, averting his gaze.

"Please correct me if my memory is play tricks on me, but I cannot shake the vague recollection that I, maybe, juuuuust possibly bequeathed unto you multiple warnings on multiple occasions and via multiple mediums, advising you to watch your words and deeds when interacting with the court. Mmmm?"

"Yes, your highness… Sir Halshaw was just making it so difficult to follow."

"Oh, believe me, I understand, however you must learn to suppress that urge to strangle every man jack of them, if, as I very much hope, you are to rise to the rank of knight yourself. Given your last encounter and your current "condition" though, I appreciate such a task would seem nigh on impossible to one not used to such circumstances. That does not, however, excuse the consequences."

"I'm sorry, your highness."

She sighed again. "Apology accepted Link, though forgiveness does not negate your punishment."

Her admonishment halted for a moment, as she turned her gaze to the cloudless blue above. Delicate gloved fingers sought out her necklace of the goddesses and pensively toyed with the sapphire pendant of her patron goddess, while she seemed to ponder. "Sometimes I wonder… are all these trials just chance or are we both merely at the mercy of the machinations of the goddesses, engineering these events so as to test their chosen. Then, of course, along comes an incident like this to shatter such foolish notions, as, if they engineered such inconveniences for anything, it could only be their own amusement…" Zelda's gaze returned to Link, dispelling his nerves with a warm glint of amusement and the subtlest trace of a smirk. "I have to say Link, for all my wisdom, I cannot fathom how they conspired to get you so thoroughly sotted!"

"Hey, I'm not THAT bad and it's not like I intended to get drunk. Besides, does it really show?"

The princess chuckled. "Oh, it shows and even if it didn't, it possesses a perfume I can recognise even among this vibrant cacosmia. It is a cologne even less suited to you than the venerable Lord Halshaw, who appeared to treasure it almost as much as his family estate… Did he really give you the brandy?"

"Err yeah. I stumbled upon him overseeing the last of his things being moved out of his office and at the end of a… rather awkward conversation he said he didn't want it anymore and told me to take it."

Zelda was pensive for a moment, before murmuring, more to herself than Link "Maybe the rumours are true. Perhaps there is some hope for him." Then her attention snapped back to the him. "Well that's good to hear. It soothes my heart to know that you will not soon be facing trial for theft."

"Talk about SOON. I hope I NEVER have to face trial for theft! I'm no thief."

"Indeed." She nodded before clearing her throat and settling into her comfortable small smile he knew. "Now that the unpleasant implications of your little altercation have been dealt with, we can move on to the real reason of my visit. How are you, Link?"

"Wait, what about my punishment?"

"Oh, that! That is merely a side topic and one which feels highly unpalatable at the moment. My primary intentions for coming here were always to check up on your recovery, which, I fear, your little fall back there may have jeopardised. Are you alright Link?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I mean, it's true that without the brandy it still hurts but I've had worse."

"All the same Link, I would ask you to take your recovery slowly and not push yourself, if not for your own benefit, then as a favour to me. Please."

Link, for all his pent-up wanderlust, begrudgingly accepted, unable to refuse such a compassionate plea from the princess. "As you wish, your highness."

"Please Link, we are alone. It is just us and Epona and she will not tell. Ah, that reminds me…" She dug into a small satchel slung from her shoulder and produced an apple. "A gift for a faithful stead, a reward for protecting her esteemed master."

Epona, who'd slipped into a disinterested stupor, mindlessly chew hay in the shade of the back of the stall, suddenly jolted to attention, eyes and ears locking on to the princess and her gift. The mare played it casual as she trotted over with a soft nicker, but her eagerness was obvious as she gorged on the fruit in the princess's hand. Zelda's smile grew seeing how well her gift was received and she began to pamper the mare with pats and compliments.

Link watched on with amusement and a growing smile of his own. He chuckled wryly "Hmmhm, you wouldn't be so flattering had you seen her earlier. Honestly, I'm surprised she intervened after her legendary strop earlier. Besides I'm not convinced she wasn't aiming for me as much as Halshaw."

"Oh Link, how could you say such a thing?! Epona is noble, faithful and utterly innocent of such horseplay." Zelda protested in mock indignation.

"Really, and how would you know more about her motives than her master?"

"Because she is a lady, like me and all ladies preserve the upmost decorum and never resort to such naughtiness."

"Ha, well I'm still slightly surprised she'd step in to protect me, after how mad she was before and just how mad Cocksure was…" Link winced when he accidental let that crass nickname slip out. His chagrin was quickly replaced by bewitched fascination as the prim princess giggled.

She caught his expression and her giggle increased, leading the bedazzled hero to blush. "it is not the first time I have heard that nickname but it must be the funniest. You should have more faith in her Link. You know, my father had a saying; A noble stead may at times disagree, but when in need, there is no more trusted company."

Goddesses, she was beautiful! "Beautiful…" The word slipped forth thoughtlessly before rationality could stop it and suddenly his heart was in his mouth. crap! Quick, do something! "um, a beautiful saying, your highness."

Link tried to read her reaction to see if she noticed his slip. If she had, she gave nothing away, her only discernible reaction being a wrinkling of her nose at his use of her title. This provided the hero with an escape as he desperately sought to leave that topic behind, lest she question further.

"Sorry, Zelda. Force of habit. Speaking of which, you sent off the guards in case Halshaw used Nayru's fountain to wash his clothes. Do you think he'd really do it?"

"Well, it is "theoretically" possible…"

"Theoretically?"

"Yes… if he completely lost his sanity."

"So, you lied?"

"Perish the thought. It is not completely beyond the realms of possibility. Indeed, I was inspired by the recollection that it has already been used for just such a purpose… To clean a charmingly distinctive green hat, which is conspicuously absent from your person, dear hero."

Link's hand flew to his head before he remembered he'd left it in his room. "Oh yeah, I er, chose not to wear it. Something told me it might get messy, not the whole thing with Halshaw, just… other stuff."

"Ah and you were right to do so. If you had deigned to bring it, it would likely now be ruined and I would be faced with a future without the pleasure of seeing you don it once more. It brings out something in you."

"Yes, it brings out my ears" Link couldn't resist a gest and was rewarded with an equally irresistible giggle from the princess.

Voice still ringing with amusement, she playfully chastised him. "Now, now Link, do not mock such fine Hylian ears."

"I wasn't mocking them. It's true! The hat really does highlight my ears. At the start I only wore the hat because it came with the rest of the hero get up and I wondered whether it might possess some magic power. Then I found out… it did. You know, It's the only thing capable of taming my hair. Also, at least during my adventure, it showed an almost supernatural ability to remain on my head, regardless of what I was doing. So I wore it to control these crazy locks and, naturally, less shaggy hair means more ear on show. After a while it just became habit."

Zelda appeared pensive for a moment as she listened only for her mirth to reveal itself once more with her reply "Hmm, see, I thought Bernard tamed your hair most spectacularly."

"He didn't tame it! He destroyed it!"

"Only because he was following an ill-suited trend. He IS a legitimately great artist in his field and I'm sure, if allowed to work with your hair rather than rigid fashion rules, he could create a cultured coiffure approved of by all."

It was at this point, with talk of coiffures and ears, that Link suddenly realised just how off course the ship of conversation had drifted and was at risk of sinking in the oceans of triviality. He wouldn't have minded such a fate, and was in truth rather enjoying himself, however the unresolved matter of his punishment nagged incessantly in the back of his mind. It was time for a course correction. He just hoped he didn't scupper the ship on the rocks of the princess's ire.

"Anyway, isn't it about time you finally revealed my punishment?"

Zelda barely batted an eye at the sudden change of subject. She glanced away towards the castle, briefly pondering her answer. When she turned back, her small smile came with a devilish glint in her sapphire orbs. "Mmmm, no. No, I do not think so."

"What! Why not?"

Her answer was all too bright, clearly taking please in toying with him. "Oh, it is entirely in the interest of fairness and justice. I did not reveal Sir Halshaw's punishment and therefore it would be most hypocritical of me to reveal yours. Consider it punishment for today's incident, by keeping you in suspense."

"Hardly seems "fair" to me?"

"Are you questioning my wisdom, Link? Epona agrees with me, do you not, milady?"

The mare replied with a hearty neigh, though its translation was rendered unreliable, as Zelda slyly coaxed her into a nod with a little help from the remains of the apple in her hand.

"See? She agrees with me. The wise mare and I are of one mind."

"Oh really, then perhaps I should try bribing YOU with apples and compliments, maybe start calling you "good girl" instead of princess." Link quipped wryly, momentarily elated at producing a witty riposte in her presence.

Zelda, however, would not be beaten and without missing a beat, winked and replied impishly. "You can keep the apples but I certainly would not object to some compliments."

The noble hero's cheeks burst into flame and thus, the conversation was scuppered, not by the princess's ire but by her teasing. His only response was to sputter like a broken gutter, struggling in vain to find a more meaningful reply that didn't have him sinking ever deeper into the sea of embarrassment. Zelda watched on, her small smile never revealing more than mild amusement, though Link was sure he spied, despite her best efforts to conceal it, a firework display going off in her eyes.

As the moments dragged by, the princess showed no inclination to put him out of his misery, simply savouring his flustered embarrassment with sly amusement. "Well, Link, I'm waiting. You do know it's most rude to keep a lady waiting?"

What in Hyrule could he possibly say?!

Time itself came to the floundering hero's rescue, chiming the hour before he had a chance to answer. Saved by the bell!

Zelda pouted and her gaze drifted to the far away tower. "Oh time, you do have such a habit of spoiling my day." She murmured and then, with a disappointed sigh, she turned back to him. "Forgive me dear hero, but unfortunately even a princess is a slave to time and mine is fast fading. I must grab what is left to greet my own valiant stead before my duties whisk me away once more to the company of stuffy conceited oafs."

While Link was glad of the interruption, he couldn't deny a pang of disappointment at the prospect of the princess's imminent departure, blurting out "You know, you could always introduce me to them."

"Much as I would appreciate your continued company, I also wish for you to make a good first impression. If you meet him wearing your current cologne, he's likely to dismiss you as just another member of the court, which would be a major discredit to your personage. Please Link, promise me you'll be more careful with drink in future."

Oh, after his disastrous slips today, he was damn sure he'd be careful! "As you wish, Zelda. I'm sorry… about earlier."

"Hmm, you are forgiven. May the goddesses bless you with a speedy recovery. You'll keep him in check, wont you Epona?" The mare nickered. Farewell drawing to a close Zelda bowed, hand on heart and Link returned the gesture. "We will meet again soon hero, of this I can guarantee. Until then, take care of yourself."

"You too, Princess."

"You can start by getting yourself cleaned up and getting some rest Link. Epona, make sure he does."

The princess gave him one last smiling look, before gliding away across the paddock. Link watched her go, relief and disappointment vying for dominance at the sight of her departure. On the one hand he was glad that he had no more chances to slip up in her presence, yet on the other weighed the undeniable pleasure of her company and not just for her charm. As per usual, his heart was making a fuss over her appearance, despite his best efforts to shut it up.

Speaking of her appearance, it couldn't be the wisest decision to wear such an elegant dress to the stables of all places. Then again, being, as she so eloquently phrased it, a slave to time, she probably wouldn't have the chance if she chose to change. He watched the gentle flow of the skirt as she daintily lifted it to aid her through the hazardous terrain. Hang on, was that her bare ankles!

He hastily moved his gaze upwards to avoid such sacrilege, only for a single thought to commit far worse as it reached her derriere, stirring an unwanted memory. "even 'er royal 'ighness's fancy frippery can do little to disguise her cush tush." The words echoed in his head and he slammed his eyes shut. "Farore have mercy!"

"Mmmm, Link? Did you say something?" Zelda's soft tones enquired with concern.

Link's eyes flew open. "Huh, what, oh, I was just… talking to Epona." Epona, who had been watching Zelda's departure beside him in the stall entrance, turned pricked ears and a beady eye in his direction in subtle accusation but didn't snitch him out. The princess probed briefly with an uncertain gaze before giving a reverent nod and returning to her journey.

Damn that drink and damn his heart! Ok, he just had to play it casual till she was out of sight. Just lean on the gate and ponder your existence.

Zelda reached a stall at the far end and slipped out of view. Phew, now he could… Hey Epona, what are you doing?!

"Girl, you can't turn here! There's not enough spaaaaAAAAAAACCCCCEEEE!"

Splash!

As water soaked through his pants and his tunic Link was struck by a serious case of déjà vu, glaring up at a thoroughly smug mare. She did that on purpose!

"Epona, That's not what the princess meant when she told me to get cleaned up!"

The mare sniggered, joined from across the paddock by an unfettered feminine laugh.

Link considered praying to the goddesses only to realise that they were probably laughing too. It seemed Zelda was right. Today really was engineered for their amusement.

The female of the species… evil to the core!


	21. A Man Of Learning, A Lady In Red

**A.N: Hello my fantastic readers! I hope you are all safe and well. It's time for another chapter… another long chapter, throwing characters new and old into the mix. The title may give you a clue. Anyway as always if you have any constructive feedback please feel free to leave a review. I appreciate it.**

**Chapter 20 – A Man Of Learning, A Lady In Red**

Hyrule Castle Main Library – 202 days A.G

"Oh, what lovely weather." Link mumbled sarcastically, glancing up from his book, as another gust of wind slammed a fresh wave of water against the massive stained-glass windows.

It was his second week at the library and his mission of learning politics had already made the transition from blind optimism to teeth grinding frustration and was now well on the way to disillusioned boredom. He'd come to this impressive two store monument to writing and history with high hopes that, somewhere amongst its numerous shelves and immeasurable volumes, there lay a title along the lines of "a beginner's guide to court politics". Any such hopes had been brutally crushed in an avalanche of irrelevant or indecipherable tomes on every aspect of Hyrule's court, its history and, least interestingly, its laws. By the time he eventually stumbled upon a book he thought to be vaguely promising, a voice of doubt was muttering in the back of his skull. The one thing keeping him going was the possibility, no matter how remote, he could help Zelda if he succeeded. In truth though, he hadn't a clue what he was looking for.

He hadn't seen or heard from the princess since the stable incident and his punishment was still a mystery, weighing on his mind and sapping his concentration. The book before him seemed reluctant to give away its secrets, its text employing such impenetrable language that the book could probably be better used as a shield. Heck, that appeared to be its only useful purpose, as he could barely understand the bloody thing! Yet, this baffling book was the best he could find and he was sure he was getting somewhere… very slowly.

Thoughtless fingers drummed a pattern on the desk, mirroring the pounding rain as he stared at a particularly enigmatic stretch of text, willing it to give up its secrets for him. The words, however remained uncooperative and with a frustrated sigh he cast his eyes round the room once more.

Nothing of any real interest lay behind him, just rows and rows of bookcases and shelves stretching to the back of the cavernous two storey chamber. The back and side walls were lined with volumes from the floor all the way up to the highly elaborate coffered ceiling of red plaster and gold leaf ornamentations, but the ceiling's beauty was now so well known to him that the novelty had worn off.

On a clear day he would have chosen a table close to the towering windows, to enjoy the spectacular view of the roofs of castle town and beyond it, the rolling green of Hyrule fields, but today the weather had drowned such sights in wind-swept waves, obscuring anything beyond the castle grounds. His one hope for salvation from his boredom lay in his choice of a table, in a shadowy alcove towards the rear of the reading area, which allowed him to casually spy on all his fellow library goers, some whom he recognised, either from his guard duties or his prior visits. He would hardly brand himself a voyeur, but there was no denying the subtle pleasure in watching the fully spectrum of castle society, from servants up to lords, so thoroughly engrossed in some tome or engaged in some chatter with their neighbours. He found amusement in the many eccentric gestures and expressions of those lost in the words they were reading. It was an area were all walks of life were truly equal. Be they courtier or nobleman, they all had the same propensity for sticking their tongue out or knitting their brows together.

Chatting, to his surprise, was not frowned upon here, unless it reached "inappropriate" volumes. Where the tolerance threshold ended appeared to be entirely down to who was there at the time.

Having surveyed the smattering of individuals, including a couple of library regulars, and found absolutely nothing warranting particular intrigue, Link shifted in his seat to try and catch a glance at the second-floor balcony only to receive a stab of protest from his ankle. As Zelda had suspected, his drunken falls had taken their toll on the poor limb, likely setting him back a week in terms of his recovery. Goddesses above, he had been such an idiot that day, drunk just as much on his freedom as the brandy! He'd embarrassed himself, almost sparked another political catastrophe and sentenced himself to further punishment, both literally and figuratively.

Another pulse of pain issued forth from the injured limb, calling his gaze to sink beneath the table to check whether there was any way of adjusting his improvised footstool. He'd had to arrive early to get it prepared and just hoped the custodians of the library continued to demonstrate the same professional lack of attention he had come to expect from them. He certainly doubted they'd appreciate discovering his unconventional use of their prized tomes. Then again, he'd deliberately chosen some particularly dull volumes no one in their right mind would find remotely interesting.

Concluding there was no practical way to adjust the leaning tower of dullness, he was about to try and penetrate the blasted book again when he caught the plod of approaching footfalls. He turned to the source and blinked in surprise at the identity of the individual.

"Shad? Is it really you?"

It really was, though his appearance was markedly dissimilar and arguably incompatible with the shy, babbling bookworm who'd helped him on his adventures. The young scholar's awkward expression made it clear he was painfully aware of that fact. Shad had not shaken his familiar baby-faced visage despite his best efforts at facial hair, which amounted to little more than a wispy goatee and a rather sorry attempt at a moustache. Other than that, his hair was just as curly, his ears just as pointy and his circular spectacles just as flimsy.

It was his attire which stood out, like taking ten thousand rupees to a Malo Mart. Standing completely at odds with both his personality and prior unassuming dress code of brown jacket, small black string tie and equally drab brown breeches, Shad instead sported an incandescent bright blue slitted doublet, complete with gold bejewelled accents while his neck was almost entirely consumed by a crisp high collar and an overbearingly frilly cravat. The look was finished off with breeches of a similar style to those Link had been subjected to for his audience with the princess, puffy to a degree that one would think could only be achieved via inflation by blacksmiths bellows. Mercifully for shad, his breeches were a far more palatable and subdued cream colour, unlike Link's banana yellow monstrosities.

Shad's reply cut short any ponderings on the reason for this dramatic metamorphosis. "Oh, Thank Nayru, Farore and Din you didn't address me as Lord Shad." The spectacled scholar groaned before giving Link a rueful smile "Please pardon my rudeness, Link, that's hardly the way to greet an old friend. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Bored but alright. How about you?"

"That's rather a long story."

"Well, I've got plenty of time."

"Aren't you reading. I'd hate to interrupt you. I know how it feels when you're riveted by a compelling Legend or a fascinating codex and then some oaf blunders in and starts blustering on…"

Oh dear, he was already starting to babble. "Shad." Link said, politely attempting to decapitate the fast stretching word snake before it throttled all intelligible dialogue.

The babbling continued unabated. "… about dull nonsense and asking your opinion on things that aren't your business, like who makes the best pie or what is…"

"Shad! Shad! It's fine. Now sit down… and slow down. Some of our brains don't work at the speed of summer lightning."

"Sorry…" Shad slid wearily into the seat next to him. "Funny you say that though. There's actually a theory positing the energy in lightning as being the same responsible for powering your thoughts. It's really a most intriguing concept, which revolves around the…"

"I'm sure it is intriguing Shad but it also a concept that I'm as likely to understand as Ashei is to grasp an ounce of tact." Link jibed wryly, cocking his head with a crooked smile.

"Oh yes, sorry. I'm just all politicked out and dearly wish I could discuss something more intellectually stimulating than some noble's petty problem with a tax reform for three hours."

"Hold up! Are you saying you're on the council?!"

"Well yes. I wouldn't be wearing this otherwise! I don't like to be mean and I know little of fashion but whoever dictated this to be the height of fashion seriously needs their head examined."

"So, they forced you to wear THAT?"

"Well, um… no…" Shad mumbled, hanging his head in embarrassment "The truth is… I chose to dress like this in the hopes that, by demonstrating my wealth with fancy clothes, I'd appear less of an outsider to all the nobles."

"And did it work?" Link knew the question was pretty much purely rhetorical but he asked anyway.

The spectacled scholar shook his head. "No. if anything, it just supplied them with more ammunition… though they already had plenty of objections to me regardless."

"So how did you end up on the council? It certainly isn't it a role I'd picture you choosing and you don't seem too keen on it."

"That's the long story I told you about."

"Ok. Let's hear it."

Shad released a long reluctant breath and scratched his fuzzy chin in contemplation. "Where to start… where to start…" he glanced off the window, still being lashes with gust driven waves of rain. He clicked his tongue. "In the immediate aftermath of the end of the Twilight's recession the kingdom was in disarray. Infrastructure was in shambles, basic commodities hard to come by and people in a state of panic. So, the princess ordered the founding of two groups, one run by most of the members of the resistance to keep order and the other, a collective of some of the greatest minds in Hyrule, which happened to recruit me of all people. Guess that shows just how desperately short they were, if they felt the need to choose me. Hm. Anyway, we were tasked with finding solutions to the various problems stifling Hyrule's recovery, one of which being a grave food shortage. It just so happened, by luck more than brains, that my studies of The City In The Sky inspired me to invent two machines which had the potential to double food production rates while also opening up wider access to clean water. The key to the dilemma was the filtration and controlled dissemination of concentrated…"

"Ahem" Link felt cruel for cutting him off from his deviation, particularly given the spark of enthusiasm, that had been notably absent from his own story, which Shad seemed desperate to rush through. Nevertheless, the hero knew he wouldn't understand the "science" and that the further Shad slipped into the topic the harder it would be to redirect him.

"Oh… um, yes. Sorry, got a little bit carried away. Now, where was I?"

"You'd just solved Hyrule's food problem."

"Ah yes. Well it turns out even the most miserly of nobles will pay to maintain their menu and combined with the princess's generous reward on top, I suddenly found myself so wealthy I began to rival the nobles for rupees. Turns out, however that the princess's generosity had yet to be satisfied and, for my service, both with the resistance and for my inventions, she offered me a title and an estate. Me, a Lord! With a manor… and servants! It certainly isn't where I pictured myself being but it was a most generous offer and it would be most impolite to reject a reward from royalty. Plus, the princess does seem to have a way with words. Hence, how I ended up on the council. She asked and I couldn't find… a way… to… say…" Shad trailed off and he simply stared entranced off towards the windows, his mouth slightly ajar with an unspoken word stuck on his immobile tongue.

After a moments bemusement at his friends bewitched state, Link followed his fixated gaze to see the spellcaster and instantly recognised her. On a chair beneath the besieged glass panes, perched daintily and engrossed in a book, was a beautiful blonde noblewoman with striking green eyes. Tamara. One of "The Three T's", who Link had only recently discovered were Zelda's chosen ladies in waiting. "The Three T's", also known as Tamara, Tasima and Terra were a trio of daughters of one of the members of the council and as far is the hero was currently concerned the T's translated to; Trouble, torment and terror.

The truth was, they were probably among the brightest, politest and most personable ladies of the court, lacking much of the ego, haughtiness and snobbery pervading the ranks of the upper crust. Their personalities were matched by their looks, making them the most desirable eligible ladies in the court, which was part of the problem. The other part was their alternative nickname "The Three Teases". They'd gained quite a reputation, spurning many a courtship proposal from esteemed nobleman, instead preferring to hunt down shy, retiring young men, regardless of job or social status and attempt to discover just how many shades of red their prey's face can produce.

Having been on the receiving end of such torment, he could attest to their ruthless efficiency, using flattery and "Innocent" flirtation to extract hues hot as lava from death mountain out of his cheeks. Though he was ultimately convinced they were entirely without malice in their never-ending quest to discover the reddest face in Hyrule, he had no doubt, to the utterly innocent Shad, such an experience would likely kill him. If that didn't do it then a jealous suitor might!

He wished he didn't have to do it but Link knew he had to save his oblivious friend from becoming an extra morsel on a suitor kebab, skewered by some insane beau, or worse still, be exposed to feminine wiles. First though, he had to break the enchantress's spell on the poor man.

He waved a hand in front of his spellbound friend. "Shad, Shad! Hyrule is calling!" He called trying not to raise his voice too much.

Trance broken, Shad jolted back to reality, blinking gormlessly at Link for a moment, before making a poor attempt it nonchalance. "Oh, sorry Link. I just lost my trail of thought for a second. Now, purely out of curiosity… you wouldn't happen to know the name of that striking blonde over by window, would you?" His pretence at nonchalance quickly crumbled as the question tumbled from his mouth so fast his tongue almost tripped in the mad dash to the answer.

Link sighed. Time for some tough love. "Yes and you should forget it. She's trouble."

Shad's gaze was back on the blonde beauty and he murmured "How could such beauty be trouble."

"Clearly you haven't met many women." The hero jibed drolly.

"What kind of trouble?"

Link decided to omit the lady's penchant for teasing to preserve shad's innocence along with his rose-tinted spectacles, referring instead, to a far more visceral threat. "The kind of short tempered, muscle bound trouble that would likely disembowel you if you came within 50 yards of their precious prize."

"You mean she's married?!" Shad howled despairingly, earning a few hisses and attracting half the eyes in the room, including the lady in question. On meeting her gaze, shad was briefly entranced only to break free and instantly shy away, shrinking into the chair and looking away, cheeks burning. Link caught the exchange, but also the smile playing on her lips at the scholar's reaction. She now had a new prey.

It was now even more paramount to dissuade shad from following his heart, lest the object of its infatuation cause it to stop beating. Nevertheless, he couldn't lie and say she WAS married. "No, she isn't married. she is, however, among the most desired eligible young ladies in the court and is currently being pursued by over a dozen suitors, many of whom are knights with long swords, short fuses and a penchant for duelling." He may have been overstating the danger somewhat but at least it was better than downright lies.

Shad's shoulders sagged and he stared forlornly at his fancy shoes in silence. Link didn't like seeing anyone like that but he knew it was for the best. He was glad it had worked… or so he thought.

Suddenly shad sparked into life. "Ah but just because she has plenty of suitors doesn't mean she likes them. I mean, the princess is the most eligible lady in the kingdom, and she apparently hasn't accepted a single proposal."

Zelda's been getting proposals! Link's whole body tensed and he ground his teeth. How dare they?! Who were they?! He'd… He'd… wait a moment… she's rejecting them! Woohoo! that's fantastic news!

Link's heart was busy dancing a merry jig until rationality grabbed it by the scruff of the neck and flung it back in the basement. Zelda's suitors were her business and it wasn't like he stood a chance of being a suitor himself. Here he was, trying to save Shad from his foolish heart, and his own was trying to outdo it for foolish infatuation. Get back on the topic at hand!

"Look, she may not like her suitors but it doesn't change the fact she has them or that they're all nobles and trained swordsmen,"

Shad's elation faded and he returned to stare in despondent silence at his shoes once more.

"I'm sorry Shad, but sometimes you just have to face it. The heart wants what the heart wants but sometimes you need to ignore it for your own safety."

There was a short pause and then a rueful nod. "Oh, I know, I know… Only fools rush in and I of all people should know well how to be rational. Besides who am I kidding. A guy like me… I'd never have a chance with an angel like her."

"Ah come on, enough of that. I'm simply saying it's better to save your limbs than risk them on a girl you don't even know. For all you know, she could have a terrible personality. Besides, you said earlier the nobles already dislike you. You don't want to give them more reasons, do you?"

The scholar sighed dejectedly, meeting Link's eyes from the corner of his own. "I guess you're right." His gaze then turned back to the unreachable blonde beauty and he whispered wistfully "Oh she doth teach the torches to burn bright… yet to love her is not my right."

"Shad, this ain't love, it's infatuation."

He was back to staring at his shoes, pushing his spectacles up from their precarious position. His shoulders, however had stopped sagging. "Well actually, Scholars and poets have been debating that distinction for decades and…" Shad froze, eyes fixated on something beneath the table, something appalling, judging by his expression. "Link, how could you!" he hissed.

With alarming speed, the Scholar dove beneath the table and wrenched Link's improvised footrest from under him with such unexpected force it sent the unprepared hero tumbling from his chair. With his view now restricted to the ceiling above, Link couldn't see how much attention they'd drawn but Shad didn't seem to care. "Minor miracles: The Mundanity Of Magic… A History Of Agriculture… The Botany Of Brewing. How could you treat such fantastic books this way?"

Link would have been angry were it not for the genuine consternation in the question. The hero groaned. "because I was injured and needed something to rest my foot on. Thanks for that, by the way."

Upon realisation of what he'd actually done, shad was immediately contrite and tried to help Link to his feet. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry Link, It's just… when I saw those priceless gems I was gripped by a compulsion to save them. But honestly why would you choose those? Why not some banal manual on sports or some cookery book?"

"I'll keep your recommendations in mind for next time." Link snarked, rubbing his back, more for dramatic effect than because it actually hurt. Maybe though, it would teach Shad to be more careful the next time he feels the need to pilfer a cripple's footstool.

"Sorry"

"Hey, no harm, no foul." The hero dusted himself off and straightened up, adding wryly "Did anyone ever tell you, you say sorry too much."

"Only since my promotion to Lord. Apparently, it's one of the reasons I stand out from the most of the nobles. They don't have it in their vocabulary."

"Sounds about right, not that I've met many, but the ones I have met… the boot fits."

"Oh yes, I heard about the trouble with Sir Halshaw. Is that the reason for your…?" He gestured to the injured ankle.

"Yep."

"So are you just here to pass the time till you can get back on duty…" Shad briefly perused the book Link had been struggling to decipher and adjusted his spectacles inquisitively. "… or is there more purpose to your reading?"

"Well that isn't what I would call pleasure reading."

"Then why are you reading it?"

"It's a mission."

"A mission?"

"Yeah" Link lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. In truth he'd rather not tell anyone of his plan to aid Zelda but he was getting nowhere on his own and perhaps his friendly council bookworm could help. "I'm trying to learn a bit more about politics so I can support Zelda."

Shad seemed decidedly sceptical and after a moment gathering his thoughts, replied earnestly "Err, that's certainly a noble goal but HOW are you going to support her?"

This question left the noble hero flummoxed and he was left scraping round back roads of his mind trying to find a sensible answer other than admitting he hadn't got that far yet. Unfortunately, none arrived to save him. "Well, I don't currently know, as I don't know enough about politics to figure it out. Indeed, that's the very reason I'm reading. Hopefully when I understand more I can help."

"But aren't you helping as her guard?"

Link struggled to keep his voice down as he rebuffed the question, unable to fully conceal a hint of bitterness. "I'm not HER guard. I'm just A guard, one of over a hundred, whose main contribution to the kingdom and the princess seems to be nothing more than guarding empty hallways and breaking up petty squabbles. There has been nothing requiring of my talents and the only dangers the princess faces all come from court politics. I'm, supposedly, a hero and as a hero I should be protecting the princess, but I'm not. If anything, the princess has been protecting me! Well, I refuse to just stand by and watch as she battles the forces of the court alone, all the while shielding me from the consequences of my own mistakes. I have to do something!"

His scholarly friend regarded him contemplatively, stroking his wiry goatee as his eyes flicked from the hero's determined face to the book before being drawn to Tamara. After some quick calculations his attention snapped back to Link. "You certainly wont be much help to her highness reading this, unless you plan on aiding her in tax dispute tribunals…" No wonder the chapter didn't make a lick of sense! "but you seem determined to help so… I MAY be able to teach you a few things, though I can't particularly see how any of it could be relevant given you're not on the council." He clicked his tongue in hesitation and glanced away. "There is, however, something I would hope you could do in return."

"And what's that?"

Shad's gaze was once again on his blonde infatuation and for a moment he didn't answer. Link was beginning to wonder if he'd fallen into another trance when he turned back of his own accord. "Oh, it's nothing really. Let's just say, if I teach you, only if I succeed might I add, then can we say you owe me a favour?"

"Sure"

"Ok, I have to warn you, I'm not particularly experienced with the art of tutelage, especially when it comes to intricate complexities of the court, but I'll do my best. Shall we start now?"

"If that's fine with you."

"Ok, then if you'll just take a seat and I'll go and find a book which is actually relevant… Oh and I'll put THESE books back where they are safe…" He snatched up the three books which had been Links footstool. "and respected." He made a display of dusting off the books before disappearing off amongst the shelves. A few minutes later he returned with a single book that had clearly not received much respect, judging by it's tatty cover. "Well, this isn't perfect, but I'm sure there's some points of interest." He tried and failed to project a front of cheeriness but the ill-disguised groan as he sat gave away his reluctance.

"Look, I appreciate the offer but if you don't want to do it then I'll just read the book myself. No need to put yourself out for me."

"No, no I'll teach you… because I predict you'll need it. Not that I'm suggesting you're unintelligent Link, only that some of this stuff is blood…" Shad winced "err, very complicated. Pardon my Language Link, I've just been stuck with bickering nobles for three hours and this isn't exactly what I would consider pleasurable reading either." He thumbed through the pages, scanning for a suitable starting point, mumbling under his breath "Where to start, hmm where to start, no… hmm, definitely not… Aha! This looks promising. We can begin here."

Link's first lesson was interrupted before it even started by the arrival of a man clad in what could best be described as the aftermath of a firework display in a paint shop. The baggy foreign garment was so loud, exploding in eyepopping reds, yellows and greens, he half expected the man to be thrown out for disturbing the peace.

While this mystery man attracted a fair few glances along with a couple of raised eyebrows, he remained unobstructed as he made a beeline for their table. "Ah grittings Lord Schad, a man of lorning I see." The man spoke with a thick foreign accent, the sort which plays bingo with the vowels and rolls its r's like a horde of purring cats. This could take some translating!

"Educating the pisants I sea, a noble and shroud endivor. A contry unvilling to do so is une clarly too… too foulish to do so." Link may have struggled to fully decode the strident cart-wreck of a sentence but he got the gist of it. Who are you calling peasant?!

He opened his mouth to speak but Shad jumped in just in time. "Oh, uh Sir Tywin, greetings. This is actually, um, let me introduce Sir Link, the Hero of Hyrule."

"Aye, my apolergies Sir Link. I simply thot from your git up… I'd hard you com from homble stoke but I wood have thot the cort wood reword you with bitter attear. I am Sir Tywin Bonamis Pelimis the second, Grond Dook of Landringall at your sirvice." He bowed.

Link rose from his seat and returned an awkward bow, partly as a result of his ankle but mostly out of distrust of Tywin. It wasn't the man's foreignness that left the hero on edge but his "Nobleness" as perfectly encapsulated by his clothes, his manner and, most tellingly of all, his astonishingly immaculate walnut moustache, the ends of which had been teased into spirals tapering to ends so sharp they could probable poke your eyes out. Then again, the Grand Duke had offered an apology, so that set him apart from the rest at least, although he couldn't dismiss Halshaw's apparently genuine apology. Those bottles of brandy had been the real deal and had been greatly appreciated by their new owners. Perhaps he should work on reserving judgement.

"I have com, sucking insporation to help woe your fair and bootiful royal highniss…" Ok, no need to reserve judgement. The man was a bastard! Not to mention that he was at least fifteen years the princess's senior. How arrogant could he be to think he deserve her?! "… My mind is perforated with thots of soch janius… "

"What, like a sieve?" Link quipped dryly. It was a low blow to mock a foreigner for a poor grasp of another language, but frankly the Grand Duke deserved a little mockery… and it absolutely wasn't jealousy! His brain had mercifully reached the point now where he could translate the Duke into sensible sentences.

"No, they cannot be contained. They must be expressed, Sprinkled into her highness's keen…" The Duke proclaimed stridently, blissfully unaware of Link's little jibe at his expense.

"Exactly. Like a sieve."

"No, a siff keeps things in."

Ok, so his translation skills clearly weren't perfect! "Er, what?"

It was at this point that a thoroughly uncomfortable shad whispered in the hero's ear "I think he meant safe."

"Safe what?"

"As in a safe, a strong metal cabinet with a lock."

"I know what a safe is. What's that got to do with this?"

"Because he thought you said safe rather than sieve." Oh, of course. It was obvious when you thought about it. Link rolled his eyes and turned back to a bemused but, nevertheless, entirely unoffended duke and gave a forced smile. "My apologies. I was lost in translation."

The duke didn't bat an eye as he replied "Do not mention it, dear friend…" Dear friend?! They weren't friends. They'd just met and if they were going to be anything, it would be rivals… both basking in delusions of grandeur that either of them stood a chance with her. "… it is to be expected of one with your upbringing." Link would have interpreted that as a bare faced insult, If not for Tywin's apparent obliviousness and strident earnestness. With rationality finally reining in his stupid infatuation and his only response to such a line being an insult, he decided to remain silent and just let the comment slide into the ether, to be forgotten.

Shad took over trying to restore some sense of civility to proceedings. "So, Sir Tywin. As… undeniably grateful as we are for your gracing us with your presence, is there any service we can render for you, or was this purely a… social call?"

"Hmm, yes there is. Being a man of learning, I guessed you might know the structuring of this great library and may be able to direct me towards the poetry of your people."

Shad scratched his long ear in bemusement. "Um, ok I think so but it depends what sort of poetry you're after."

"Oh, just some of your great romantic poetry. I am seeking further inspiration for a verse I am writing in honour of my betrothed, her royal highness."

"Betrothed! You mean you're engaged?!" Link blurted, managing to supress the volume though not the words themselves.

"No, not yet, but given such a choice as me it is but all guaran… guaran…"

"Guaranteed?" Link drawled. Farore, what an ego!

"That's word. My grasp of your language is imperfect but I promise this. By the time I am king I will master it. So, Lord Schad, can you assist…" The Grand Duke had been surveying the library when his gaze fell upon Tamara, who was entirely absorbed in her reading, blissfully unaware of his ogling. Tywin smacked his lips and Link caught him murmur "Ahoi, hoi" under his breath. "Would either of you happen to be acquainted with that fine young lady over there in the corner?"

Link struggled to keep anger from his voice as he snapped. "No. Besides aren't you soon to be engaged to her royal highness?"

"Soon but not yet. All the more reason to sample the of your kingdom before I commit to the same meal for the rest of my life. Oh well, I guess I will have to introduce myself." With a quick tug of his colourful robe and producing his best "charming" smile to show off his inhumanly pearly whites, he turned on his heel in a surprisingly effeminate manner and strode off towards the damsel, soon to be in distress, utterly oblivious to the united glares searing his back.

The lovesick Scholar glared at a romantic rival to a lady he could never hope to be with anyway, while the lovelorn hero simmered at the blaggards flagrant disregard for his princess. Link soothed his ire with the prediction that the "Grand Dook" may soon be served a slice of humble pie, if the rumours of the Three T's tastes in men were true. Shad, unaware of those rumours and thus denied their comfort, balled his hands into fists, though his hung head and sagging shoulders gave away despondent resignation.

After a moment watching his friend sink ever lower in his seat, Link stepped in the only way he could think of. "Hey, cheer up mate. For all we know she may not like him."

Shad gave a hallow chuckle. "It doesn't change the fact that, regardless of his chances, mine are a million to one. I mean let's face it, Women like a man who has charm and he has far more than me. If she doesn't like him then… I stand no chance. I possess all the personal charm of a history lecture on the Flaxian plague of the third age."

"I think you're giving the grand duke too much credit on the charm front. I think the word you're actually looking for is obnoxious. Besides not all beautiful ladies have the same tastes."

"No, but it is a rather basic prerequisite that you are capable of stringing words together in their presence and on topics that they not only understand but are interested in. Besides, weren't you the one, a few minutes past, telling me how she had a horde of angry, bloodthirsty suitors just waiting to make mincemeat of any young pretender."

"Well, I may have laid that on a bit thick…" Link conceded before the duo were distracted by the loud snap of a book from across the room. Tamara had risen from her seat to the apparent puzzlement of Tywin, with whom she had conversed for all of three minutes. She gave a dignified but curt "Good day Sir Tywin", picked up the voluminous folds of her burgundy red gown and swept from the from room, so swiftly her blonde tresses billowed out behind her.

The hero restrained a smirk of satisfaction, however something of the lady's departure had left his friend thunderstruck. He was about to enquire when the cause of the commotion and irritation arrived looking somewhat perplexed.

"So how did it go?" Link asked innocently.

The grand duke gave a little cough "I'm not entirely sure. She called me a… fill… fillhand… fillhandring flopdiddle. What does that mean?"

Fillhandring flopdiddle? He'd never heard of… wait a second… fill-hand-ring… Philandering fopdoodle! Oh boy. He couldn't think of a polite way to put it but he'd rather not cause another fiasco at court. "Shad, care to explain?" He asked, hoping to pass the buck to someone far more qualified with words.

Shad, however, was still coming out of his state of shock and simply stared gormlessly at them "Wait, explain what?"

"The lady Tamara called me a fillhandring flopdiddle. What does it mean?"

"The Lady Tamara…" He whispered dreamily before snapping back to reality and snapping "Wait, why would you ask me that? I have no idea what…"

"My apologies, Grand duke, could you excuse us for just a moment" Link grabbed the bewildered shad by the arm and dragged him unceremoniously behind the nearest bookcase.

"Um, Link, what are we doing? I have no idea a what fill hand ring or whatever it was…" Shad whispered as he hastily straightened his skewed spectacles.

"She called him philandering fopdoodle." Link hissed back

"Ok and er, what does fopdoodle mean?"

"A fopdoodle is a useless vain idiot."

"Oh… Ok so if you know already, why didn't you just tell him?"

"Right. Tell a prominent foreign dignitary, a suitor of the princess, that one of her ladies in waiting just called him an unprincipled incompetent with the vanity and intelligence of a peacock?! Err, no. I'd rather not be involved in yet another diplomatic incident."

"ANOTHER incident? Just how many have you…"

"Just the one… ok technically three, but it doesn't really matter how many. I've already had my fair share and it's usually the princess who has to pick up the pieces, so… I'd like to avoid it if possible."

"I see your point… but… what do you want me to do?"

"Well, you're good with words. Perhaps you could find a more diplomatic way of saying it."

"Being an intellectual and knowing the dictionary off by heart brings you no closer to wielding words effectively."

"Shad, now is not the time to be ped… ped…"

"Pedantic? Sorry… it just I can't see what I can do."

"So, you don't have any ideas at all?"

"A diplomatic way of calling someone an unprincipled idiot?! I'm afraid not."

"Great, then we'll have to lie. Are you good at lying?"

"No, sorry."

"Me neither. Anyway, even if he believes us, there's no guarantee he wont ask someone else again later or worse, try using it himself."

"Unless…" Shad's eyebrows suddenly shot towards the ceiling as the spark of an epiphany light up his face "we find a way to tell the truth but in such a vague manner that it's susceptible to reinterpretation. After all, the best lies, even when exposed can be seen as the truth from a certain point of perspective."

On hearing it, the idea made sense… a very twisted kind of sense but sense none the less. The question was how they were going to pull it off? They couldn't wait much longer. Their little conspiracy conference was suspicious enough as it was and a glance round the bookshelf revealed the Duke still waiting by the table, arms crossed and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Alright, so how do we do that, bearing in mind Sir Tywin's already getting impatient."

"I don't know? I'm not that sort of creative mind. Give me some science dilemma or ancient mystery and I'll…"

Shad's babbling faded into obscurity as it was Link's turn to have his moment of genius. That's it! Just focus on one or two elements. The duke is clearly vain and obsessed with fashion and, it's close cousin, etiquette. Another word for fashion is style, but style has other meanings, other interpretations! A truly rare stroke of genius.

"I've got it!" he proclaimed triumphantly.

"You have?!" Shad murmured in astonishment.

"Yes, we simply say something like… "an unflattering term for your style" something like that."

Shad seemed sceptical "Um, I think there's more to it than…"

"No time for that, Sir Tywin is waiting. Trust me." Without waiting for a response Link strode out to face the duke, Shad hesitantly in tow. "Ah, Sir Tywin, Apologies for the wait. To answer your question a Fopdoodle is an… unflattering term for someone's style."

"Hmm, and the fillhandring."

"An unflattering term for someone's attitude." Shad piped up.

"So… she was insulting me?"

"Oh, well, yes, sort of…" Shad admitted only for Link to hastily interject "Only a little."

"Really?" The duke's eyes narrowed suspiciously and his brows furrowed. The intensity of the Sir Tywin's gaze gave Link the unnerving sensation that the duke was trying to scoop out his brain to examine it. Despite this, Link held his gaze placidly. He watched immaculate fingers, which had clearly never seen a day of work in their lives, reached up to tweak one spiral of the walnut moustache pulling it straight before allowing to spring back as the silent inquisition continued.

Link was starting to worry when the inquisition was suddenly relinquished and the duke simply tutted nonchalantly. "Well, there is no accounting for a lady's tastes… But then why did you head off behind the bookcase?"

"Well, um we weren't sure whether we should say. We didn't want to offend you…"

"Bah, think not in it. It was she who said, not you and what man would I be if I cared for the opinions of ladies. Now enough distractions. Please Friend Schad, point me to inspiration?"

Shad obliged, directing him to a far-off bookshelf and, with another bow, the duke departed. With danger finally averted they could relax and Shad promptly slumped into his seat, as though exhausted, taking a few long calming breaths. "Phew, so glad that's over. When you mentioned diplomatic incidents, I was suddenly reminded of the Goron blackyard rebellion and how that started. I didn't want to start a war in my first week on the council, haha, not that I ever want to start a war, I mean…" He shivered "The twilight was more than enough."

The scholars tone told Link all he needed to know. As much as it could sabotage his earlier efforts to protect him, Shad clearly needed something else to take his mind off such dour topics and from his own infatuation, he knew just how potent a distraction it could be. He just hoped he could rein it in. "So, when Tamara left, what was it that left you looking like you'd just glimpsed her garters?"

Shad's head caught fire from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and Link half expected jets of steam to burst forth. He whirled round with such force as to almost dislodge his glasses from his head, spluttering "I.I.I.I.I didn't see, I mean um, nothing untoward happened."

"I never suggested it had. You just seemed pretty flabbergasted at whatever it was."

"Oh, yes." Shad mumbled, now even more embarrassed turning to stare at the table and replacing his spectacles. "It was the book she was reading."

Not quite what Link had expected, but considering this was Shad, he shouldn't have been surprised. Nevertheless… "The book?"

"Yes, meditations on myth: forgotten histories! Of all the books she could have chosen, it had to be that! Why? Why?"

"It's a bad book?"

"It's one of my favourites!... Have you ever felt like fate was tormenting you, showing you perfection knowing all too well you couldn't possibly be worthy of it?"

Oh, Link knew the feeling only too well but he wasn't going to openly admit it. He was struck by a pang of guilt for warding his friend off but given Shad's extreme embarrassment at his little joke, he knew it was nevertheless the right call. Even so, it wasn't Shad's worthiness that was the issue and he didn't like seeing any friend beat themselves up over such things. The hero did enough for everyone. "Don't put yourself down. It's not your worthiness that's the problem, it's the rest of her fan club. Besides, no one's perfect…"

"Except Zelda!" Link's infatuation hastily corrected. Oh, do shut up! "… No one, not even her."

The chatter of other library goers and the lashing of the rain briefly took centre stage, while the scholar seemed to contemplate his words. The response was unexpected. A wry laugh and a nod.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, nothing. Now, I recall offering to teach you something about politics. How about we get the ball rolling." He slid the open book in front of Link.

Link read the chapter title with scepticism. "Anatomy of artist… aristocracy and hier…archy? Are you sure about this?"

"No, but I figured its probably best to begin with basic principles, particularly as you need to know what you're dealing with and, frankly, I need inspiration on possible directions to take you. I haven't a clue whether this will assist you with your goal to protect the princess, but it's the best I can think of. So, get reading and we'll see where this goes."

Link sighed reluctantly and began reading. The first couple of pages gave him a burst of confidence, as he understood pretty much every word. However, as he delved deeper into the dense literary forest he soon realised the author had played a cruel trick on him and found himself encountering vines of contradiction, conceptual quagmires or long vicious, brain-squeezing, words in ever increasing frequency. Shad, eminent scholar that he was, made many a concerted rescue attempt but he proved only semi-competent as a guide, sometimes lacking the lateral thinking required to put his directions in plain simpleton, occasionally striking off too far ahead and, on one occasion, falling into a quagmire Link had actually managed to avoid. The key to that one had been not to overthink it.

The chapters stretched on, trees and trees of pages and the minutes dragged by until after an hour of struggle the courageous, if foolhardy duo finally extricated themselves from its prickly vegetation and slumped back in their chairs, exhausted from the effort. They'd managed two chapters and Link hadn't managed to grasp all of it, despite shad's best attempts to teach him.

"I still don't get the point of the stratified… whatever it is."

"Well, I'm afraid there's no other way I can think to explain it. I'm sorry Link, but it looks like I'm not the teacher for you."

Link groaned "Grrrr. Why does everything in politics have to be so needlessly complicated?!"

Shad was about to reply when a sudden raucous laugh from just behind them almost had him falling from his chair in shock. "HAHAHAHA, Link, only a guy like you could possibly be surprised by that." Ashei's mirthful twang faltered slightly as every single eye in the room rounded on her and they hissed in unison. "Oh come on, I wasn't that loud!"

By the time the audience of glaring gazes had returned to their books and conversations, Shad had managed to retrieve his composure and glasses, both of which had vacated his cranium in the commotion. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you, Ashei, but would it kill you to announce yourself."

"Announce myself?! Watch it, Shad, sounds like your title's going to your head. Clearly their fashion sense has already rubbed off on you…" She chuckled before turning surprisingly earnest for just a second. "Congratulations by the way, you deserve it yeah… Plus you aren't the stupidest I've seen in that style" her violet orbs flicked briefly to Link, accompanied by a sly smirk, to which the hero just snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Well, thank you Ashei. I must admit I'm shocked to see you here, in a place reserved for bookworms such as myself. Are you now a reading convert or did you just come to scare me?"

"Hey, I never said all books were bad, just the sort you insist on reading…" As Ashei protested, Link noticed two objects tucked under her arm, which caught his attention. A parchment peaked out from behind a book but not just any book… the title _Shields and hearts of gold_ was emblazoned in fine gold lettering over a bright red cover. The title and bright red cover screamed romance novel. Well, well, well Ashei!

"Got some light reading there, Ashei?" Link drawled slyly

Ashei's face suddenly bore the expression of someone waking from one of those dreams where you walk into the mess with no clothes on. Instinctively, she clutched the book to her chest to preserve her image… by doing her best to conceal the title. From his gaze though the swordmaiden knew he'd seen the it. Her initial terror turned quickly to an air of cool casual nonchalance. "What, this?! Pfff don't be stupid. As if I'd go for this soppy nonsense. Can't stand the stuff. Can't see the appeal myself but a friend asked me to get it for them. Yeah… yeah"

"A friend?"

"Yeah, Neela. Neela apparently loves this kind of stuff. This is the second in some series and she's been going on and on about it for weeks but she was always too busy to come to the library so she begged me to…"

"Hi Ashei!" Came the chirpy tones of a certain short, sandy haired handmaiden, bobbing towards them. This was clearly a figment of their collective imaginations as the real Neela was FAR too busy to come to the library.

Ashei nevertheless hailed this illusion, struggling to maintain her cool. "Oh um, hi Neela. I'm SURPRISED to see you here." She gave Neela a "meaningful" look.

"Really?! Why would you say…" The bubbly "apparition" missed the look but spotted the book in the swordmaiden's tight clutches and gasped. "Oh my goddesses, you're on the second book already, trust me, you'll love it even more than the first…" Ashei's cheeks spontaneously ignited with embarrassment, anger or a mix of the two. With Ashei one rarely came without the other. Regardless of combination it seemed to have robbed her of her tongue as her imaginary friend continued to babble excitedly. "Oh, I can't wait to hear what you think of Caspian and Geneviene in the next book, and the introduction of…"

"Neela, Neela this isn't for me. YOU asked ME to get this for YOU." Ashei tried again with an even more meaningful look than the last. Link had to admire her persistence in attempting to salvage her cover story, even if it was all in vain, shattered by her boisterous buddy's exuberant entrance.

The Handmaiden noticed the new look but obviously was having trouble translating it. "But why would I do that? I've already got…"

A blood vessel throbbed just below Ashei's temples. "Excuse us, just a sec." She hissed, grabbing a thoroughly bemused Neela by the arm and disappearing behind the same bookcase Link had used earlier for cover.

The hero and the scholar exchanged amused glances but waited in silence for the two ladies to re-emerge, which they did a minute later.

"Oh, thank you for your thoughtful gift, Ashei. It completely slipped my mind."

"Don't MENTION it. Yeah. Now, I'll see ya around. I've got to have a word or two with these two gentlemen and, um… Neela… why are you following me?"

"Well I need to speak to Link too. It's the very reason I came. To deliver a message from the princess." The news almost sent the hero springing from his seat.

"Ah, err, fine." Ashei mumbled awkwardly

The cheery handmaiden skipped round to the front of the table to face Link and pulled out a scroll. "Greetings Sir Link, I'm so sorry but I have to do this…" She unrolled the yellow parchment and began to read in her best attempt at grand and authoritative. "Ahem, her royal highness formally requests the attendance of Sir Link, the Hero of Hyrule, on the 14th day of the month of May at 5:00pm. He will await her highness's summons in the waiting area outside the royal wing where, upon his summoning, he will receive his punishment as decreed by the crown. Failure to attend will result in forfeit of privileges and position and possible incarceration at her highnesses pleasure. Missive recorded by Mr Basil, blah, blah, blah, frowny sour bread the Fifth, on the word of her highness Princess Zelda Melania Bosphoramus the Third of Hyrule." Message complete she closed the scroll and waited expectantly for the hero's response

Well that all sounded rather ominous… apart from the frowny sour bread bit. Whatever this punishment was, he was set to find out tomorrow afternoon. "Ok, tomorrow afternoon. I've got that but Neela, you wouldn't happen to know what this punishment is?"

"Sorry Link, the princess has sworn me to secrecy and as dashing and gentlemanly as you are, I could never betray her. Between you and me though, It's not as bad as the message makes it sound. Cheerio hero and…" she lent in to whisper "good luck with Ashei." With that she dashed off and moments later Link felt and heard a gauntleted hand grasp the back of his chair, a similar clunk striking the back of shad's and the raven-haired swordmaiden's unnerving leer slid into view between the two.

"Now gentlemen, speaking of punishments…" She began menacingly.

"Excuse me, good warrior lady. I wish to speak to Sir Link." Ah, the Grand duke had returned with exquisite timing.

"Oh, of course. The hero is open for business!" Ashei huffed, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Thank you, good lady. Now Sir Link, I couldn't help but overhear you have been summoned tomorrow to be punished by the princess…" Err, he could be pretty certain the princess wouldn't be the one punishing him personally! "… I am not interested to hear your crime or judge you. I simply think there's a way we can help each other. If you were to deliver my masterful poem to her highness tomorrow, I'm sure her heart would swell so from such a romantic verse from her favourite suitor she would be compelled to grant mercy to the one who presented it." Link's jaw dropped. Was this man for real?! "Do you not agree?"

"Well, uuuummmm…"

"Overcome with my genius I see. Not surprising." He slipped a sheet of paper into the gobsmacked hero's frozen hand. "No need to thank me. Now I must leave you. Sir Link, Lord Schad, Dear Lady I bid you all good day." He bowed low and departed, leaving his masterwork in the hero's hands, purely on the absurd assumption of Link's inevitable agreement to deliver it. Link was in half a mind to jump after him in protest but he didn't want to cause a scene. He could only stare dumbfounded at the folded sheet lodged precariously between his loose fingers.

"Who was that foreign tit? Could barely understand a word he said." Ashei grumbled in mild irritation, though not as much as the hero expected. Something had piqued her interest.

"Grand Duke Tywin Bonamis Pelimis the second of Landringall, One of her highness's suitors."

"Really now?" The swordmaiden shivered "The things the princess has to endure for her kingdom. Now on the important stuff yeah."

Link finally escaped his stunned stupor "You mean our punishment?" He had a pretty good idea what it was about. When he rounded on Ashei however, he got a distinctly different impression as he saw her fixated gaze, the same magpie stare she'd shown to his letter from Zelda.

"That can wait. I want to see this grand duke's masterwork for myself!" With her warrior reflexes she snatched the paper from Link's casual grip and opened it, much to Shad's dismay.

"You can't do that! It's for the princess and as… irritating as the grand duke can be, he deserves the basic courtesy of privacy as…"

"Oh relax, Lord spoilsport. It's not like he's going to find out and… oh… oh my…" The swordmaiden started toying with one of her pigtails and biting her lip as she continued reading.

Wait a second?! Was she… "You do realise, it isn't written for you."

"I know that!" She snapped before her voice softened "I have to say though, for a man who can't speak straight, he sure has a way with words."

"Really?!" Shad blurted in surprise. Surprise quickly turned to suspicion. "Hmm, let me see it."

"Hey, I haven't finished yet!... oh… hmmhmm."

"Ashei, you're making noises." Link asked with a smirk.

Ashei's cheeks were set ablaze again. "Making… making noises! Oh, um, perhaps you should have it Shad." The swordmaiden was suddenly all too eager to get rid of it.

Seeing her reaction, the ever-merciful hero couldn't resist toying with his flustered friend. "So, when you had the book which, of course, absolutely wasn't for yourself, I spied a piece of parchment with it. A love poem of your own?"

"Absolutely not!" The swordmaiden was indignant, but her tone quickly acquired a faint note of worry as she explained. "Actually, it was one of three more posters criticising the princess, which have been cropping up across Castle Town in the last week." The news effectively punctured Link's amusement and it must have shown on his face as she immediately tried to reassure him. "Oh, not to worry Link. We'll catch the culprits. I've already ordered an increase in night patrols in castle town starting tonight. It seems to be when they operate and sooner or later we'll catch them. They can't hide forever."

He tried his best to look reassured, repeating to himself that whatever these posters claimed they were just words, but he couldn't suppress his anger and unease at the thought of mysterious street thugs slandering the princess's good name. He was about to reply when a sudden and most uncharacteristic snigger to his left caught both of them off guard. Both hero and swordmaiden turned to their scholarly friend in amazement as the snigger grew to a hearty guffaw. Whatever the amusement was, it had rendered Shad oblivious to the many stares drawn his way. It seemed to be something about the poem.

"Err, Shad. Care to share?"

"Mmmm? Oh, sorry Link. I was just marvelling. Marvelling at the sheer cheek of it all. My goodness it's truly magnificent!" Shad's voice jumped a full octave and he appeared to be on the verge of hysterics, tears welling in his eyes.

"Err, what cheek?"

"The poem! Oh gosh, The poem! The poem! It is a monument… to sheer unadulterated plagiarism. A chaotic gallimaufry of lines pilfered from ten of Hyrule's greatest romantic poems, mashed together with no consideration of meaning. I mean he's actually picked two lines describing her hair and I assume he is supposed to be describing the princess, yet one of the lines says she possesses raven locks and the other a waterfall of golden honey, neither of which of course fit. But it gets better. Oh, it gets better because one of the poems he plagiarised… as actually about a man. Clearly he didn't know the meanings of sonorous or sinewy but surely the rest of the poem must have given a clue to the context."

"Well, to be fair I know the meanings of neither." Ashei scoffed in annoyance, folding her arms.

Shad peered at her incredulously for a second before continuing with a shake of his head. "Never mind that. The most absurd part is he's actually included lines from a poem about… about, well… you know what I mean…" The wheels of fate had turned once more and now it was Shad's turn to burn with embarrassment.

Ashei saw a chance at revenge. "About?" she enquired with false innocence.

The spectacled scholar lent in reluctantly and after a pregnant pause whispered "SEX!" instantly hanging his head in shame at his utterance of such a dirty word.

Ashei rolled her eyes. "Well, even I picked up on those! Most of them were pretty tame if you ask me."

Shad's blush deepened. "It didn't stop the poem from being banned for almost a century… at least among high society."

"Really?! Over that! I hear lewder stuff from some of the guards on a weekly basis. The nobility seems as wet as a Zora's tail."

"Maybe now it wouldn't be considered so bad but at the time the whole poem was considered racy. It was, however one particular euphemism, which led to its notoriety."

"Straight Hyrule please."

"Um, well the last two lines eluded to both the man and woman, um…"

"Holding hands?"

"No"

"Kissing?"

"No"

"Oh, does it begin with a C?"

"Yes"

"Ah, cuddling."

Fearing Shad's head literally bursting into flames, Link finally intervened "Enough of that Ashei. You know what he meant."

"Spoilsport, I was just getting a little revenge. Speaking of which, let's get back to where we left off before Sir Grand Duke interrupted us." Her hands returned to the backs of their chairs and she leaned in, trying her best to look imposing. "Being my friends, I'm sure neither of you would believe such an idea, much less do such a thing but… If I ever hear catch anyone spreading ridiculous rumours about me READING ROMANCE NOVELS!" Ashei mocked a gag of disgust "then they will suffer a fate worse than those poster planting creeps in Castle town. Do I make myself clear? Yeah."

Shad gulped but Link was unintimidated by her display. He knew Ashei well enough to realise the emptiness of her threat. Though she'd tried to hide it, he'd long suspected that she had a far softer centre than her prickly exterior implied and todays revelation all but proved him right. Nevertheless, he wasn't going to antagonise a friend to prove a point, so he nodded. "Of course. We'd never believe such a ridiculous notion."

"Thank you. Nice to know you have friends you can depend on." Having run the gambit of expressions from embarrassment to anger to annoyance and back throughout their conversations, the swordmaiden's visage finally returned to the grin she had been wearing when she'd announced her presence. "So, Link how's the ankle? Reckon you'll be back to sparring soon?"

"It's still hurting so not for a while yet."

"Ah come on. It's getting so boring without you. Hey Shad, perhaps you should come down sometime."

"Er, I don't think that's really the place for me."

"You'll need to toughen up at some point, bookworm. Anyway, I hope we can meet up sometime. I want to hear wear what the great Lord Shad makes of his new position. Perhaps we three grab a drink at Telma's bar next week."

"I don't really drink."

"Hey, neither did Link before he joined the guard. Now he's going out and buying premium brandy."

"That was only as a gift." Link hastily interjected.

"And a fine gift it was. Look, I'm not suggesting we go and get plastered. Just a casual drink and a catch up. Telma will no doubt be happy to see you as well and it will be the first time I've been there since my ban was lifted."

This was news to Link. "Hold up, you were banned? I never heard."

"Drinking contest, long story. Important thing is I won. Anyway, how about it. Next Friday, midday?"

"Alright"

Shad conceded with a nervous tug of his frilly cravat. "Sure. I guess I'll give it a go. It would also be nice to see Telma again."

"That's the spirit. Now, much as I'd love to stay and chat. I've got duties. See ya around."

With that they bid the swordmaiden farewell and shad rose from his chair. "Link, my friend, it's been a pleasure meeting you again. Sorry I couldn't be more help with your "secret mission" but I may know someone else who could help." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold engraved watch. Wow, he really had embraced the noble lifestyle! One glance at the ornate timepiece however was enough to turn the scholar white. "Gosh, is that really the time?! Sorry Link, I've got to run. I'm late!" Practically throwing the grand duke's poem at his friend, he turned and dashed pell-mell for the door, holding his spectacles on his head with one hand.

Link was alone once more, free to contemplate this library sessions "extraordinary" events. He had learnt much and yet accomplished absolutely nothing of what he'd set out to do. His "secret mission" had barely progressed beyond its starting point and he struggled to remember what little Shad had tried to teach him. Who was this mystery individual who Shad thought may be able to help him?

It was fair to say his appearance had been unexpected but not unwelcome. The scholar may not be fond of his new position but it was a comfort to Link knowing Zelda now had another ally in the council. Still, the news of more slanderous posters disturbed him and he felt compelled to do a little night hunting in Castle Town. His ankle was still complaining though and it would be highly unlikely he'd be able to catch the culprits when he couldn't run.

Then there was his punishment. He now had a date and time but the nature of his torment remained a mystery.

Last and by all means least important was this plagiarised poem he was expected to deliver to HIS princess, from a man who looked and sounded like a drunk peacock squawking through a beak full of sticky treacle pudding. This foreign fopdoodle thought he could marry Zelda! No chance! Not if he could help it.

He flicked the paper between his fingers and pondered its fate. He had no curiosity or desire to read it. Shad had made it clear what it was. Should he deliver it? If he didn't and Tywin found out he could end up in hot water, however if he did he set himself up to be seen as an errand boy. The bloody nerve of the man! And his sickening arrogance that the princess's heart was all but his. Was it all blind confidence or did he have reason to be so assured about his prospects? Surely, Zelda was far too smart to fall for a blaggard like him?

Grrr! He had to resist the compulsion to crush the poem. He wouldn't decide now. He'd wait until tomorrow. One thing he could be sure of was that his indecision had nothing to do with jealousy… Absolutely not!

As his gaze turned to high windows, still rattling under an endless onslaught of rain and wind, he couldn't shake the feel that something bad was on the horizon. Was it his impending punishment or something else entirely?

Only time would tell.


	22. Inquisition and exposition

**A.N: Welcome back my fabulous readers. Thanks for all your reviews and messages and apologies for the particular long wait for this chapter. The reason simply is… this chapter is an absolute monster, my longest by a country mile. I just hope its quantity translates to entertainment rather than tedium and that I haven't missed too many errors, which can slip through the cracks of my proofreading efforts for longer chapters.**

**Anyway, I hope you are all keeping safe and well and perhaps this new chapter can provide you with some escape from these current turbulent times. As always constructive feedback is always appreciated.**

**Oh, and this may come as a shock to you but we are finally approaching the end… of act 1!**

**And for those of you desperate for Link to figure it out, trust me, he will… kinda ;)**

**Chapter 21 – Inquisition and exposition**

Hyrule Castle Royal Wing Antechamber – 203 days A.G

Link fiddled nervously with his leather bracers as he waited, impatience and worry having a scuffle for supremacy in his head while he watched the clock across the room. He'd arrived at ten to five and the minute hand was now languidly reaching for twenty five minutes past.

The afternoon shadows from the high windows were stretching across the royal purple carpet of the antechamber, a small room next to the spiral staircase which led up to the royal wing. Link scanned the room again for something to occupy his mind other than the clock reminding him of every new minute's delay of his impending punishment. It was the same boring space he'd found when he entered, nothing more than a row of fancy chairs lining each wall, upholstered with cushions of the same purple as the carpet. There was no view to be had from the windows as they were too high up to see through.

Shuffling in his seat, he was reminded of Tywin's "love" poem lurking in his back pocket, the fate of which he had yet to decide. He'd not sunk low enough to read it, not being fond of spying or the wince worthy warbling's of romantic rivals. Romantic rivals?! Goddesses, what a joke that was!

He considered adding another couple of laps of the room to the dozen he'd already completed, just to pass the time. His ankle wasn't particularly thrilled with the exercise but it had already wasted precious days on an inexcusable recovery period. Had it acted this way during his adventures the kingdom would probably still be in the grip of eternal twilight. Some hero he was without his powers! Why had the Goddesses even picked him?

His eyes were on the clock again, now reading five thirty and his unsettled mind ran through the words of his summons for a fourth time, checking to see whether he'd somehow misremembered or misheard. He better not have missed it! Was this the correct waiting area? He didn't know of any other.

With a growl of frustration, he rose and went to the doorway to check whether there was some other room he missed somewhere down the hallway. He had begun pondering the idea of venturing up the spiral staircase to ask the guards at the royal wing entrance itself when a noble came strolling into view from the opposite end of the corridor.

Link's interactions with nobles had been scarce and this nobleman wasn't one he was acquainted with. It appeared the nobleman, however, knew of him, hailing him in a jovial manner one wouldn't expect of a man with such sharp features. Seemingly premature aging had left the man's long face stretched and gaunt while his eyes were sunken deep into their sockets. His silvery hair, however, hinted at his true age, full, sleek and slicked back in the latest fashionable style while from within their shadowy sockets silver orbs beheld canniness and vitality. The noble smiled broadly as he approached. "Aha, so you must be the great hero Sir Link. It is an honour to finally make your acquaintance." He held out his hand.

Despite the man's friendly manner, Link was wary. The man was a noble after all, even if he lacked an immaculate moustache. On the other hand, he didn't want to make unnecessary enemies through unwarranted hostility, so he tried to conjure up his best sense of formal civility even as he eyed the outstretched hand cautiously. "Begging your pardon sir, but I generally like to know whose hand I'm shaking."

"Oh, of course, silly me. Lord Samuel Fairclough at your service." The man introduced himself with a bow, before extending his hand once more, joviality unwavering. His voice was smooth and refined, plummy accent present yet conservative.

Ah, the father of the three T's! It certainly fit his friendly disposition, though clearly the trio owed their looks entirely to their mother. He wasn't what Link expected and the knowledge of his identity didn't fully allay the hero's innate suspicion of nobles. One lesson his adventures had taught him well though was you could rarely judge on appearance. Not that he always listened to that particular pearl of wisdom but he did feel comfortable enough to shake the Lords hand cordially. "A pleasure to meet you, Lord Fairclough"

The Lord chuckled. "Oh, believe me, the pleasure is all mine, great hero and please, Samuel will do just fine. I take it you are also here for an audience with her highness?"

Link inwardly cringed at the reverent praise of his hero title. "Err, yes, at least I thought so. This is the waiting area for the royal wing, isn't it?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well I thought my meeting was supposed to be at five o'clock. It's now five thirty…"

"Ah, do not worry. Her royal highness is many things but her work often ensures punctual isn't one of them. If I may enquire, what is the purpose of your meeting? That is, of course, if it's not confidential."

He seriously considered lying and saying it WAS confidential but given this could be his first chance at getting in the good graces of someone at court, he decided to come clean, if only in rather vague terms. "It's about a punishment."

"A punishment?"

"Yes"

"And may I be so bold as to ask whose?"

"Mine." Link answered flatly, unsure how the Lord would react. The Lord's reaction was one of brief surprise, followed by a furrowing of the brow as he glanced off perplexed towards the staircase to the royal wing. After a few seconds thought it seemed the lord had resolved his bemusement as his silver orbs flicked back to Link, smile returning. "Ah yes, I take it this is for your unchallenged belting of Sir Halshaw? Hmhmhm, if you ask me, he got what he deserved…" He paused expectantly, as though he predicted a reply, yet Link didn't give one.

Something about the Lords manner seemed… off. Link couldn't put his finger on it, but whatever it was it had begun to raise the hairs on the back of his neck.

When he didn't respond, Lord Samuel continued. "I certainly hope her royal highness is not too harsh on you, especially for an act I'm sure a great many others have been dying to do for years… You wouldn't happen to have been informed as to the nature of your punishment?"

"No." Link gave another flat reply.

"Her highness hasn't disclosed it's nature? Not even an inkling?"

"Only that it's quite serious."

"Ah, I see. Well, I trust her highness's judgement and she is nothing if not merciful."

The lord's interest in his punishment had set an alarm bell peeling in the back of Link's brain and he was beginning to suspect a game was being played. Unfortunately, he didn't have the rule book or the goals. "Well her highness has always shown me great wisdom and kindness."

"Naturally, she clearly values and trusts you greatly. You are the chosen hero of the goddesses after all, responsible for ridding us of terrible strife, and from what I've heard have also given her good council."

Good council?! What in all Hyrule could that mean? His suspicion rising by the second and with no particular strategy of uncovering whatever game was being played, Link let his quizzically cocked eyebrow speak for him.

"Have you not been inspiring her?"

Inspiring her? From a certain perspective that could be one way of describing their two private meetings, though consolation or simply showing his support seemed far more apt. Besides, the specific descriptor was unimportant as those meetings were supposed to be private! Surely Zelda wouldn't have told someone of their impromptu rendezvous in the maze, especially not the nature of their talk. So… did the Lord know of their meetings or was he referring to something completely different and if so, what? "Why would you say that?"

"Her highness has praised your unconventional, some might say, revolutionary mind set and has given you credit for some of her most ground-breaking ideas. It's certainly shaken up the court and some would argue that's precisely what the court needs."

What? Where was all this coming from? "Well I can't think of anything I've said that could be classified as revolutionary."

"Ah, don't be so modest. Surely a young free spirit from the far provinces such as yourself holds some revolutionary zeal? A desire to change the world?"

Link was overcome by an ever-increasing urge to wash his hands, as he was fast suspecting that this Lord was the sort which secreted slime rather than sweat. Feeling the yank of an invisible leash from the Lord, trying to guide his response, he decided to show some of his free-spiritedness and ignore the not so subtle tugging. At least that was the plan…

It turned out he didn't need it as, before he could answer, Neela appeared from the spiral staircase, her visage holding a hostility Link never could have imagined from the seemingly perpetually cheerful handmaiden, hostility directed at his new "friend".

"Lord Vanhorn, I believe her highness made herself perfectly clear when she said you should not darken her door with your presence unless specifically requested to do so. If, on the other hand, you are here to harass Sir Link, know that as a summons of her royal highness he is also off limits to you as well."

Lord Vanhorn?! Well, he'd suspected games but he'd at least expected nobles to have the decency not to use one another's identity. He rounded on his new enemy, only to witness a sickening metamorphosis as the man's smile turned from ill-fitting affability to charming malevolence, an expression that far better suited his visage.

The now unmasked Lord Vanhorn took on a tone of wounded obsequiousness. "Oh, you always assume the worst of me, Neela. Sir Link and I were having a perfectly amicable conversation. Why he even shook my hand, an experience which I will treasure and a gracious gesture which, purely due to an inexplicably misplaced distrust, the source of which I find unfathomable, you and her royal highness would deny me."

"At another time I might give you the full list, but Sir Link has been summoned and cannot be delayed further."

"What a pity, you doom me to ignorance. You know Neela, I've heard so many rumours that you actually possess a smile, yet I can never find a reliable source."

"It's reserved for those I don't despise."

"Despise? Really, Neela, I didn't know you cared. I'm flattered." The lord turned to Link with an odious grin. "Good day, great hero, it's been a pleasure." Delivering a final mocking bow, the noble slid away, oozing slime down the corridor.

Link shifted attention back to Neela, who seemed to be intensely focusing on rekindling her characteristic spark of cheeriness, but to limited success. He was still in a state of shock. He never knew such a side of the boisterous handmaiden existed. The anger, the hostility but also the authority and power of her voice. Obviously some of Zelda fire had rubbed off on her."

She strained a smile. "I'm sorry Sir Link. Of all the people you had to meet…" she shook her head and then picked up his shock. "You seem surprised?"

"Well I just… I never expected that from you."

Her face brightened slightly. "Really? Which part; the anger or the ferocity?"

"Both."

The handmaiden giggled, her usual perky persona bursting back into life. "Hehehe, given my performance till now, your shock is understandable."

"Your performance?!"

"Oh, don't get me wrong Link. I AM indeed very much inclined towards the perkier end of the spectrum, which is why I find my part so natural. It just so happens that many people assume cheery, ditzy blondes are stupid and…" She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper "therefore not worth guarding their words over."

As shocked as Link was by her change of personality, it was the barest glimpse of the levels of intrigue and deception that must run through the courts that truly stunned him. He had to say though, he couldn't agree with all of her statement. "Well I never saw you as ditzy. A little clumsy perhaps and I did have to wonder how the princ… I mean her highness ever managed to keep a secret with you around, but I never saw you as stupid."

"Aw, ever the gentleman. I can see why Zelda's so set on increasing the frequency of your presence. Speaking of, she is waiting for you and we mustn't keep her waiting." She took the hero by the arm and they hurried up the stairs, Link's thoughts spinning like the spiralling steps, as he tried to fathom what she meant be "increasing the frequency of his presence."

"Oh, and by the way, you mentioned slipping secrets, well that can come in handy too." She winked.

They had just reached the top of the stairs when the royal wing entrance opened and they were suddenly accosted by a garishly garbed individual wielding a lute and a funny hat. Was he a bard or a jester? Whoever or whatever he was, his eyes lit up on sight of Link and he crowed "Doth my eyes deceive me or am I in the presence of Hyrule's chosen hero?!"

Link suppressed a wince as his heart sank. "Err, hi" he grumbled.

"Amazing. It is truly an honour to meet such an esteemed figure, just as her highness described you…" The man grasped Link's hand before he could pull away and shook it vigorously. Then there was a pause as the brash bard took a moment to examine Link's features, his firm grasp waning. "although…" he added "when I enquired about battle scars, she neglected to mention your nose. Not the most romantic of war wounds but it will serve its purpose in my grand ballad."

"Grand ballad?!" Link's voice was reduced to a squeak of consternation at the horrifying thought.

The bard clearly mistook horror for mere dumbfounded incredulity. "Of course, your heroics will be enshrined in legend for all time, set to a, if I may be so bold as to say, marvellous melody composed by yours truly. Rest assured, soon the whole kingdom will know of your exploits and being singing your richly deserving praises." Utterly oblivious to the devastation he had wrought, the bard gave a deep bow and promptly skipped down the staircase leaving a thunderstruck hero wordlessly gaping in the royal wing entrance way.

A ballad mythologizing his adventures, seemingly sanctioned by the princess herself, to be spread across the kingdom?! What in the Sacred Realm had come over Zelda? She may not know the full extent of his distaste at his reputation and title of hero but she knew it brought him some level of discomfort. Surely, she realised how he'd… or perhaps that was the point? An unconventional punishment if ever there was one, given that lauding someone's supposed greatness was generally seen as a positive act but it was nevertheless effective as a unique form of torture for him.

Neela shook the frozen hero from his malaise. "Link? We must be going." Link blinked gormlessly and followed thoughtlessly along the corridor of the royal wing, unable to take in the décor of his surroundings due to his continued shock. He'd seen it before anyway. He was far more concerned with his punishment or, indeed, punishments.

He was only brought back to reality when his guide knocked on a door and Zelda's bell like voice drifted back through the wood. His brain was further stirred from its stewing when the door was opened and the princesses familiar scent stroked his nostrils, quickly soothing his turbulent thoughts.

Link quickly took in the room before him to look for clues for his possible fate. It appeared the meeting was taking in place the princess's study, judging by the bookcase that lined three of the walls and the stately writing desk in the corner, behind which, posed to prim perfection as always, sat her royal highness herself, clad in her usual dress and gloves, her lips curled almost imperceptibly in amusement. "Ah, Sir Link…" Why was she using his title? Weren't they in private? I mean there was Neela but she wouldn't mind. "I apologise for the lateness of our meeting. Unfortunately, some of my previous audiences overran… although I do distinctly recall sending Neela to summon you a good fifteen minutes past. Did you find some obstruction between here and the audience antechamber?"

"Actually…" The handmaiden jumped in before he had formulated a reply "Lord Vanhorn had decided to pay Link a visit."

The princess's tone darkened slightly but she showed no great concern "Lord Vanhorn? I trust you sent him on his way."

"Of course, I believe I made our positions quite clear, your highness."

"Very good. Now…" She turned her gaze to the silent hero, who tensed at her attention "Sir Link, do you drink tea?"

Such a mundane question took him by surprise and he scrambled to remember his opinion on the matter. "Um, well… I had it once… or twice but I can't recall whether I liked it or not."

"Tea for two if you please Neela."

"Of course, your highness." The handmaiden bowed and departed, as Zelda rose from her chair and walked towards Link, her princess veil of a small enigmatic smile giving away nothing of her emotions, though the loss of her gliding ethereal gait spelled trouble. Her voice was placid and business like. "Sir Link, would you care to walk with me to the balcony."

To his chagrin, the princess had stolen his attention so quickly he'd failed to register the undeniably obvious double doors, which led out on to an impressively spacious balcony. On meeting Zelda again, and reminding himself of the purpose of this audience, he was admittedly a little nervous and the princess's business-like manner and use of his title wasn't a reassuring sign. With a slightly apprehensive nod he accompanied her onto the balcony.

His apprehension was short lived however, as upon opening the doors to the full view he couldn't help a gasp at the majestic scene of Hyrule fields, in all its glory, spread out before them. A cooling breeze whipped their hair in the soft hues of the late afternoon sun, whose height signalled there could be no more than a couple of hours left on duty for the day before the stars took over for the night shift.

After a moment just admiring the view the princess spoke again, still business-like, however she'd dropped his title. "So, Link, you have finally met my greatest opponent. What did you make of him?"

They moved to the end of the balcony as they talked, skirting a small round table and two chairs, which, judging by their decadent upholstered cushions clearly spent most of their days in the shelter of the study. His attention was briefly drawn from the glorious Hyrule vista to one of the seats which, on closer inspection, seemed to be more of a cross between a chair and a bench with the seat extending out far further than the arm rests. After a second pondering it's purpose he turned his attention back to the vista and Zelda's question.

"Well he's obviously devious but my impressions of him where rather…" He struggled to find the word "… disrupted due to the fact he pretended to be Lord Fairclough."

"Ah yes, I suspect he assumed I had already told you of my alliance with Lord Fairclough but that you were as yet unacquainted. A surprisingly common ploy at court, particularly with foreign dignitaries. Am I correct in presuming his purpose for "introducing himself" was to glean clues as to your possible punishment, given that I refused to reveal it."

"You could say that. It was his keenness on that subject which first raised my suspicions."

"Indeed. Such topics are not exactly a staple of introductory conversations and there are many among the court desperate to discover your fate. Even so, I highly doubt that was the only reason for his visit."

She may have dropped the formality of his title, yet for all her attempts at cordial conversation, she seemed abnormally tense. It was very subtle and well disguised but to Link's heightened senses it was becoming increasingly apparent with every line that something was wrong and had been since the moment he arrived. His nerves rose again, however not enough to convince him to pry. He decided to simply continue as though he'd noticed nothing and hopefully the truth would come out on its own.

"No. He seemed intent on coaxing me to take credit for inspiring some of your more, um, "unconventional" ideas, along with having me admit to being… what was it… ah yes a revolutionary thinker."

"My, my, he really was pulling out all the stops to skewer you."

"Really? The thing is, I get that he was trying to play me but I can't see what he hoped to accomplish. I mean what's so bad about being unconventional?"

Zelda gave a sardonic laugh and shook her head. "Not much to most ordinary people, but, to the court, confessing to having "unconventional" or "revolutionary" thoughts is considered just one step down from planning to overthrow the establishment. Had you admitted to it, as far as they are concerned, they could argue it to be justification enough to have you discharged from your position as a security risk or worse, investigated for sedition. I would, of course, protest against it, however, if they were to have other evidence that suggested, say, I was unduly influenced or inspired by your ideas or your company, they could use such evidence to overrule my judgement."

Link was shocked. Wow, he'd really dodged an arrow. Surely though, his record would speak for itself, proving without doubt he was no rebel? "But what about my actions? My conduct? My reputation?"

"The saying may be actions speak louder than words but among the council that only holds true when it supports their claims. Otherwise conflicting actions are nothing more than inconveniences to be buried or ignored. It is true that your confession alone would not be enough but it would be an effective first step in discrediting you and I doubt it escaped your notice Link, but your record is not exactly spotless. If it were, you would not be here and he would not be so eager to discover your punishment."

"It's sounds like you suspected he'd try something?"

"Well I certainly did not predict his impersonating Lord Fairclough, however I fully expected him to try and pry into my judgement by plying answers from you. In fact, it is part of the rationale behind me not informing you of the specifics of my chosen disciplinary actions."

For the first time since they'd met, the princess had left Link feeling insulted. "Hey, you could have at least explained that to me before, rather than leave me in the dark. I may be a simple goatherder but even I know how to keep a secret. I'm not that stupid, you know!"

"Forgive me Link if I have offended you. It was never a question of your intelligence but one of authenticity. For all the many great qualities you undeniably possess, surely you can admit that deception is not among them, one of the many reasons I appreciate your company so much. You are a paragon of the noble virtue of honesty. Such a virtue is not, however, conducive to convincing concealment of secrets, without arousing suspicion. I needed your claims of ignorance to appear as genuine as possible to avoid any aspersions that we were collaborating in some kind of conspiracy."

Conspiracy?! He'd already been made aware of the web of intrigue in which he'd been embroiled but not the magnitude of the trouble was he in? Conspiracy was not a word used lightly. What had he signed himself up for when he'd accepted this position? Was it really this tenuous? It took a moment for the full implications of her words to sink in but, when they did, they hit like a stampede of trampling giant boars. He leant heavily against the ornate stone balustrade and stared off to the mountains on the distant horizon, silently lost in tempestuous thought yet still aware of Zelda's blue orbs fixed intently on him, probably trying to measure his reaction.

The conversation died to make way for the whistling wind which carried the sound of a skylark from somewhere over Hyrule fields. Link could not see Zelda but he could sense her quiet form shift uneasily behind him, hesitant to approach.

When she finally joined him at the balustrade, it was with obvious trepidation and she notably avoided looking directly at him, instead following his gaze to the horizon. "I'm sorry Link…" Her voice was soft yet laden with unmistakable guilt. "I fear you could suffer for a mistake of my own making…"

Link swung round to face the reticent princess, who continued to stare off to the distant mountains. There they stayed in nervous silence, the usually beautiful skylark song now seeming almost like an alarm call, expressing the inner turmoil of the duo. When Zelda finally faced him, she bore a visage he'd only witnessed from her once before but had nevertheless left an imprint on his mind. It was the look she'd given him moments before she decided to reveal her tale of Alfonzo's "death".

Zelda took a deep breath and straightened up, head held high, yet portraying unmistakable reluctance, as one wishing to face a jury trial with dignity. "You will find my past littered with regrets and errors in judgement, dear hero, and now I fear I have put your reputation at risk because of one of my most foolish."

Link glanced off to the two chairs, thinking back to the previous moments of revelation. "Err, Zelda, perhaps we should sit?"

"I would prefer to stand, as should you… in case you wish to walk away." Her tone was detached yet her immediately downcast eyes spoke of a great shame. The display shook Link but he was resolute in his opinion that there was nothing she could say that would make him walk away. It clearly showed on his face.

"Your faith in me may change…" she sighed "Would it surprise you to know that the only reason my council is such is threat is because I allowed them to be?"

The hero stayed silent, expression unwavering.

She examined his response before, having received none, she continued "When my father, the king, passed away I was far too young to assume the mantle of leadership. Thus, as per the law, the council took over as stewards of the crown, acting as the kingdoms sole governing body until such a time as I was ready to take up my position. Officially, according to the royal constitution, that was once I had reached my fourteenth year. At the time the court was made up of three balanced factions; royalists, who supported my father, my family and our principles, the power hungry, who sought to undermine my family's authority and reduce the royal family to a mere figurehead and the "Ephemerals", those who did not care who was in power as long as they got a cut of it. It was the way things had stayed for many years and I naively assumed such a balance was interminable. Inevitably though, the precious balance was shattered when, just three months before my fourteenth birthday, two of my father's greatest supporters stood down from the council, handing the control to those who would oppose me in the struggle for power. Whether their resignations were of their own volition or they were somehow pushed, I have been unable to discover. Regardless, the council turned from receptive to my instatement, to hostile and… from nothing but my own fear, I made possibly my most regrettable decision. I chose to postpone taking up my place as ruler. I refused, repeatedly, for two years, to take up the mantle for which I was destined… and needed."

She paused to recover composure and then pushed doggedly onwards. "The council quickly set about trying to diminishing my powerbase. There were laws that prevented them from effectively usurping my position but, through careful amendments to such, they were able to significantly stifle my ability to govern efficiently when the time came where I finally assumed my royal position. For almost two years I stood by and watched as they undermined my authority and my father's legacies, passed bills which chafed Hyrule and her citizens and made a mockery of everything I held dear. For two years I watched and did nothing… all because I was afraid of my destined power and those who sought to covet it for themselves…"

She turned away and began to drift down the line of the balustrade, the fingers of one gloved hand grazing the stone railing. "… By the time I finally stepped up, both the kingdom and my influence were crippled and I realised the only hope of recovery was to wage war against the court. A war of loopholes, caveats, conspiracy and duplicity from both sides, earning me victories but in doing so, also creating new enemies. I did what I had to in order to claw back power, at times at the expense of my principles. It is a war which, despite my many victories, still rages and now, through my persuading you to take up your position at the castle, it is a war I have selfishly dragged you into."

The princess reached the end of the balcony and, with a dramatic swish of her hair and white skirts, she whirled round to face Link. Her princess veil, which she had valiantly maintained, cracked briefly in surprise, seemingly due to the realisation that, from the moment she'd turned away, he had shadowed her every step. Her surprise was quickly covered by the reinstatement of her princess veil and she once again tried to peer into his soul. He in turn tried to glimpse hers through the veil. The deep recesses were closed to him, yet he couldn't miss her moist eyes.

He had listened intently to her every word, examined every line and yet he couldn't find the one which would make him turn away, as she had clearly expected. If anything, her tale had hardened his resolve to help her… as any true friend would, regardless of duty, obligation… or other personal feelings.

"You need not have followed me, dear Hero." Zelda's tone was soft and with a glimmer of warmth.

"Well you never said I couldn't and as shocking as it may seem, I CAN walk and listen at the same time princess. I certainly wasn't about to walk away…" Link let his heart find the words, only for his heart to deliver a rare stroke of poetic genius "Besides, as actions speak louder than words, I simply let my actions speak for me and they say… I'll follow wherever you need me."

For its genius, his heart was rewarded with a crack in the veil as the princess struggled to restrain the increasing glow from her upturned lips, radiating warmth and gratitude. Yes, his heart was happy… ecstatic even!... and a happy heart is foolish, so he'd better clamp down on it before he says something he'd regret. Zelda needed friendship… morale support… not the fawning's of a lovesick puppy!

"Thank you, Link… Thank you…" Zelda's words were as soft and gentle as the spring breeze, yet he heard them, clear and melodious as the skylark… however behind the melodious song lay something more haunting, which he couldn't explain. A heavy weight still holding her down. "but my…"

Her soft words were interrupted by the abrupt creak of the study door and Link suffered a brief panic attack until he remembered, to his great relief, he hadn't been stupid enough to let his heart decide the appropriate distance to follow its desire. Their distance was perfectly respectable.

Neela came in baring a tray with the pot of tea and two cups, which it seemed had slipped BOTH their minds.

"Neela? Ah yes, the tea. Please leave it on the table. Thank you."

"Of course. Is there anything else you need, your highness?"

"No thank you, Neela. That will be all."

With a curtsey, the handmaiden slipped back out of the room, however Link couldn't help but notice a gleam in her hazel eyes as they'd darted with mischievous energy between him and the princess. He retreated a couple of steps and rubbed the back of his neck, suppressing a blush.

When his gaze inevitably gravitated back to the princess, it was with barely concealed disappointment that he noted the reinstatement of her veil. The moment they'd shared was lost. She gestured cordially to the strange bench seat. "Please take a seat on the Méridienne, dear hero. After all, it is most uncivilised to take tea standing up."

Méridienne? Must be the name of the chair bench hybrid. Sounded rather pompous really. Oh well, the princess wished for him to sit on it and so he did, regardless of its title. He perched awkwardly on the bench end, wincing from his precariously skewed ankle.

Zelda frowned and chided him gently. "Link, when I invite a friend to sit with me I do not expect them to squat like a Cucoo fearful of being caught laying in public. It is a Méridienne! it is intended that you utilize its full length to recline in comfort."

While he appreciated her concern for his comfort, there was one problem she seemed to have missed. "But princess, If I use the whole thing, surely I'll get my boots on it?"

"Boots can be removed" came Zelda's matter of fact reply.

Link was aghast. From the way their chairs were positioned, his feet would be practically in her lap. Why, it would be most insulting to her. "Zelda, surely you can't be serious?! If I did that I'd be effectively presenting you with my ghastly grubby socks and…"

"Oh, your socks will also require removal"

"What?!" Had the princess suddenly lost her marbles?

"Link, it is perfectly simple. One of my purposes in summoning you was to take a look at your injured ankle and see whether I can provide further healing."

This was a set up?! The hero went beet red and began stammering in protest. "But Zelda, there really is no need. I'm perfectly fine…"

"Don't try the hardened hero routine with me. I saw you wince…"

"It's just a slight niggle. Nothing to worry about."

"Reeeaaaalllly. I guess that's why you've been resorting to improvised "bookrests" in the library for the last week."

"W. ?! where did you hear that from?"

"Oh, a very reliable source in my network. Needless to say, I know it's true."

Link's mind was in a state of turmoil, as he struggled to think of excuses, hampered by his mortified imagination, firing forth ever more embarrassing and ridiculous scenarios of what could occur should his bare feet be displayed to the royal sovereign of the kingdom. "Please princess, I'm doing this to protect you. Trust me, you don't want to see my feet. They're gross and disgusting and smelly and..."

"That wont work Link. I happen to know, for all your rough and ready lifestyle, you care greatly about your hygiene."

Ok! How in the sacred realm and every other realm of existence could she possibly know that?! She was absolutely right, of course! Indeed, even during his adventures, he took every convenient opportunity he got to wash himself, much to Midna's impatient annoyance. It did nothing to change the fact that there was no logical explanation for where she could have gleaned such a personal habit. Was it some magic mind reading at play? On second thought, perhaps it was best not to find out. He wasn't finished fighting yet though, if not to save the princess's senses, then to protect a secret. A great and terrible weakness, which in the wrong hands could render him defenceless in his duty to the kingdom.

"But what if someone was to come in and see us?"

"I have instructed for us not to be disturbed by anyone unless I specifically summon them, however, if you require extra insurance, I can always lock the door."

Her tone of voice was teasing, yet the thought of being locked in with the princess did little to calm his nerves, instead stirring elation and horror in equal measure. "Zelda, please do not trouble yourself! I've managed far worse just fine…"

"Link, I WANT to help you! Why must you be so stubbornly opposed to my willing assistance?!" Zelda snapped, demeanour whipping from teasing to aggrieved, adding with a hint of bitterness. "You wouldn't have been this stubborn with Midna."

Link froze and upon seeing his expression, Zelda's face fell, veil slipping completely from her visage as she hastily apologised. "I'm sorry, Link… It's just that… friends help and support each other and yet you always seem uncomfortable accepting mine. I understand you are fiercely independent, yet I kn… I can't imagine you being so obstinately against others' offers of assistance. It… makes me wonder."

Watching the princess's confidence dissolve into forlorn diffidence so rapidly shocked the hero and produced a pain far worse than his throbbing ankle. She'd been the one, early on, who had been so certain of their friendship, stating it with such assurance as to be considered a fact of the universe, yet now here she was, seemingly doubtful of it. Had it all been a front? Had her adamant insistence of their friendship been just as much about reassuring herself as him, the repeat of a desperate wish in the hopes that be doing so, it would become a reality? On a couple of occasions, he had caught glimpses of her loneliness, but this put things into a completely different perspective.

He thought back to the start, when he had been the one filled with reservations, doubtful of the possibility for many reasons. Despite his negativity and misgivings, he had grown more accustom to the idea with each new encounter, to the point that now the thought of them not being friends seemed horrifying. It was true that her exalted station, compared to his, would inevitably restrict the depth of their potential relationship but the prospect of being without it altogether filled him with dread and wounded far more than just his foolish heart.

With their usual roles unexpectedly reversed, Link found himself in the strange position of being the assured one. "Zelda, I'm sorry if I made you doubt our friendship, but do you not recall what I said to you not five minutes ago or our conversation back in the hedge maze?"

The princess nodded, but her doubts clearly persisted. "Indeed, but friendship and support are not mutually exclusive. I have much experience of one without the other."

"Well not from me, you're not! You're getting the whole deal, whether you like it or not!" Link proclaimed ardently, leaning forward dramatically. Not the best move as it turned out.

His ankle gave an emphatic scream under the exertion and gave way, almost sending him tumbling forward into the princess's lap. It was only his quick reactions, grasping the armrests of her chair, which allowed him to prevent a collision… but it was close. Raising his gaze revealed just how close he'd come to disaster along with its magnitude. A foot ahead of him, directly in his heads projected descent path, was the royal bosom and above it the royal visage, with wide eyes, pink cheeks and eyebrows ascending to the sacred realm.

Well at least she wasn't downhearted anymore. Was this the closest he'd ever been to her beautiful… Oh no you don't! Link leapt backwards and practically tripped back onto the Méridienne, cheeks burning while he babbled profuse yet incoherent apologies. "I.I.I'm dreadfully sorry, Zelda. That was a complete accident. You see, my ank…" he caught himself before he let the cause of the accident slip. "I have no idea how that happened."

It was true that Zelda was no longer forlorn, but she wasn't radiating joy either. She'd recovered from her shock remarkably quickly and now regarded him with folded arms and a crooked smile. "Really Link? You have no idea how it happened? Hmmm? Because to me, it looked like your injured ankle painfully gave way… unless, of course this was all some elaborate ploy to get a close look at some of the royal jewels?!"

"Princess, I'd… I'd never…"

Her tone softened slightly, but retained a hint of exasperation. "Relax Link, I know you would never do such a thing. I thank you for your… impassioned… proclamation of our friendship. It truly warms my heart… even as your continued obduracy frustrates me! Why must you be so childish about this? What is so distressing about accepting my willingly offered help? Please, let me help. There's no shame in it."

Link was out of excuses and, quite frankly, couldn't refuse her imploring tone, particularly as there still loomed the possibility of upsetting her again if he continued his futile and admittedly childish protest. He sighed and began to remove his boots. "Ok princess, you win… but I will not be held responsible for any nightmares you get from the sight or smell."

"Oh please! Are you not aware that I've seen your feet before, when I healed you the first time?" Zelda scoffed, though her twitching lips let him know that his attempt at levity wasn't entirely in vain.

"Yeah but I was unconscious then. Besides, in case you weren't aware princess, looking at a friend's feet is not exactly… normal."

"If it were not for my examination, your ankle would still be fractured in three places. Besides do you really have to make it sound so sordid."

"It's just… it's embarrassing! Showing my feet." The hero finally decided to confess part of the reason for his reluctance, though he most definitely wasn't going to reveal everything.

"To a friend or just to a princess?"

He'd hoped they'd gotten past this. "To anyone! Look, there will inevitably be distinctions in how I'd treat you as opposed to other friends, such as calling you "your highness" in public, but that doesn't change the fact that I DO consider you a friend… a good friend, and hopefully… a close friend."

Zelda sighed. "I know, I know. Please forgive me. I do not wish to labour such a point, particularly when I was the one who pressed so hard for our friendship in the first place. For me to show such doubt is most unbecoming of a princess…" She gave an abashed chuckle "… particularly with my trusted hero. It is simply that… I am sure this has likely never occurred to you Link, but you are the first friend I've ever had who was not first assigned to me by the court as a servant or aid. I may have developed rapport with many but I know, ultimately, they will always see me as their sovereign first and a friend second. I just hope… I just hope you can see me as a friend first."

This revelation put Zelda's actions into a new perspective. All these seemingly sudden doubts, contrasting to her prior emphatic insistence… her nerves about him rejecting her offer of a position at the castle… it all made perfect sense. Well not entirely, but then again Borri had told him once "the moment you understand a woman is the moment you know you've lost the plot" and he didn't think he was THAT far gone. Regardless, the revelation along with her plaintive plea for "friendship first" tugged at his heartstrings, even as his rational mind hastened to remind him of the virtual chasm between their respective stations and upbringings. He couldn't bear to disappoint her, yet his honour prevented him from making a promise he potentially couldn't keep. At some point duty would inevitably come first.

He tried to add some levity to the situation so as to lift the princess's spirits, despite the serious point he felt he was making. "I'll try my best Zelda, however surely you realise that, technically, even I was assigned to you, just by a rather higher power than some snooty courtiers."

Fortunately, she welcomed the joke, breaking into a charmingly dignified giggle, her smile signalling her gratitude for the light relief. "Hehehe, that is true and I have thanked them for their exceptional choice…"

Her comment was clearly meant as a compliment but as had happened so much in their conversations today, it only opened up more doubt and discomfort, this time for the humble hero. The question of why the goddesses had chosen him had haunted him ever since he'd first discovered his destiny. It gnawed at his innards and no matter how many times and ways he'd asked it, an answer never came. Even a single reason why it was him and not someone else appeared elusive. He sometimes wondered whether they'd chosen correctly or whether, had they chosen someone else then…

"Link, are you alright?" Zelda peered at him with worry.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine." He mumbled unconvincingly, finally unfreezing from his position of removing his left sock, the last vestige of protection for his now vulnerable feet. "Er, you were saying?"

"I was just about to ask you how you wish to try your tea… Link, did something I say upset you? Please know that is the last thing I would ever wish or intend. If there is anything I can…"

"No, no it's alright. You just brought back an old question…"

There was a pause and, from the corner of his eye, he caught Zelda gazing expectantly at him, waiting for him to finish. Something held his tongue.

"Is it something I can help with?" she murmured, her imploring gaze trying to break through the barrier.

His heart told him it was safe to ask but his rational mind said otherwise. "No… no, it's nothing really."

She hid it well but he still caught the trace of disappointment. "Well if you change your mind… I will always listen."

While his heart swelled with gratitude for her words, his conscience was pricked with guilt at her disappointment from his reticence. Why couldn't he tell her. His mind told him she would never understand while his heart emphatically insisted he was giving her far too little credit. Since their meeting in Ordon, the princess had confessed many a painful secret, overcoming significant fears and doubts to do so. And how many had he offered in return? One! And that was only after considerable resistance. Was he just a coward? The question echoed again in his head. Why had they chosen him of all people?

"Thanks. I truly am grateful Zelda, but it really is nothing to worry about. Just something I need to work out."

"You do not have to do it alone."

"I know… now you asked me about tea. What are my options?"

Zelda sighed but accepted defeat with the abrupt and wholly unsubtle change of topic, though disappointment lingered in her sapphire orbs, only exacerbating Link's guilt. "Milk or no milk? Sugar or no sugar?"

"Given that I have little knowledge of tea, I'll have whatever you're having."

"Really, I do tend to like my tea quite strong." Zelda's voice was placid and lifeless.

Link again tried to elevate both their spirits out of the doldrums they were trapped in with another attempt at humour. "Hey, I'm a pretty strong man. I think I can take it."

This didn't even earn so much as a sly twitch of the lips from the princess, her veil stoically unwavering as she served up the tea from the small side table between their diagonally placed seats. Her movements were stiff and mechanical, like a statue under the influence of the dominion rod and she notable avoided eye contact. Goddesses, how badly had he just screwed up? She had opened herself up to him yet he'd kept himself completely closed off. No wonder she was hurt. Well if he was a hero of any kind he had to fix this! Of course, it had to start with an apology and maybe, just maybe he should open himself up just a little. After all, given his admiration for her, shouldn't he be trying to follow her example.

He took a deep and dramatic breath, making sure to draw and hold her reluctant gaze. Here goes nothing! "Zelda, I'm sorry. You've opened up so much to me yet I've failed to do the same. No wonder you've had you doubts of our friendship. I've not exactly been a prime example of a good friend, heck my presence here has caused you a whole heap of trouble I'm not even aware of and I haven't done a damn thing to help…"

"You've done more to help than you know…"

"Please, let me finish. The important thing is… You've done far more for me than I have for you…" he took another steadying breath to prepare for his upcoming confession. "The reason I froze back there and the reason I was so closed off about it is because… is because you complimented me and I'll admit… I often find them hard to accept… to feel I am worthy of them."

The emotional exorcism, while not as dramatic as his soul baring explosion to Ilia all those months back, nevertheless left him feeling a slight sense of vertigo. It was only as his dizziness subsided that he registered the princess's bittersweet smile, accompanied by a misty blue gaze, flickering through overzealous eyelids. It was beautiful, yet agonising as each blink seemed to hammer home how much he'd hurt her… or so he thought.

Zelda bit her lip and nervously glanced off to the horizon, seemingly struggling to find the words. "Thank you Link… and I greatly appreciate your honesty and empathy… however… while your reticence may frustrate me enormously and I would dearly wish you could feel safe enough to trust me more readily, it is not responsible for my current state of apprehension. Neither, I must admit, was our earlier discussion of the eternal war between crown and court… though I had my doubts…" her gaze flicked to his now bare feet and she chuckled ruefully "How presumptuous of me, one might think I did it deliberately so you couldn't just walk away."

"Zelda, we've already been…"

"This is not about the war, Link. That was just a prelude, to prepare myself…" she sighed "… to talk of something of which I know you will not approve, indeed from what you just admitted, you will probably despise and resent it. I just pray you will understand my reasons for it and I will not earn your ire also."

Link was shaken by the severity of her words, coupled with her aggressively emotionless delivery, as if it were the only way for her to get the words out. His natural aversion to such ominously weighty conversation urged the use of his classic defence "Make light or change the subject", yet he held his tongue. He recognised her pain and realised that the sooner she could release what troubled her, the sooner he could reassure her.

"Link, I am aware of your distaste for your hero's title or for your tales to be spread… however you must also be aware that there are many people in the kingdom who barely understand what occurred during the twilight invasion or that it even was an invasion and not just some demented living nightmare. The Twilight has been lifted and the souls of the citizens have returned to this world, but many of them are still lost and afraid. Order has finally been restored, yet there are those still gripped be fear, confusion, grief… and anger. My tour of the kingdom, of which Ordon was my final stop, was partly intended so I could allay such fears, yet I possessed neither the time or the energy to adequately answer their many concerns. I spun them a tale, as vague as can be, of a hero and his allies who fought and defeated an ancient dark magic, yet that naturally did not slake their thirst for answers. It is a thirst which has not waned and in fact grows, despite countless leaflets, missives and speeches I have made. The citizens are fearful, grief-stricken and ignorant, a cursed combination which breeds speculation, conspiracy and scapegoats. I cannot allow such forces to take hold. The citizens have suffered far too much already, and that is why I have decided to dispense with vague platitudes and spread something… approaching the truth, through a medium I have yet to exploit. I take it you met my previous audience on your way up here?"

Pondering the full depth of her words, it took a moment for him to fathom what she was referring too. Then it came to mind and along with it the pieces began to fall into place. She was talking about the bard, wasn't she! "Yes" he mumbled flatly, even as his stomach began to lurch horribly. He could guess where this was going.

"I'm sorry. I tried to spare your enshrinement in the annals of scripture and song until a later time but for the good of the kingdom I had to relent to their desire for answers, lest less palatable ones emerged in their place. I fear however… I may already be too late… yet again." Zelda's voice cracked and her eyes once again turned to the majesty of Hyrule and the setting sun, searching for comfort from the beauty of her kingdom. What did she mean by "yet again"?! Was she comparing it to her unwillingness to assume her royal duty or was it something else?

Zelda sealed the crack in her composure and continued. "Nevertheless, I realised I could not afford to trust in fate and time to grant my people the closure and reassurance they so desperately sought. Cold dry prose of leaflets and hollow platitudes of formal missives would never be enough. What the people needed was a story; a riveting, sensational, uplifting tale just as the legends of old, to stir the heart and inspire the soul and who better to deliver it to the people than the greatest bards, poets and playwrights of our age. For the last two weeks I have been inviting the most esteemed artisans in the spoken, the written and the harmonized word to hear THAT story… the story of YOU… Link, the chosen hero of the goddesses and the saviour of Hyrule…"

She was right with her prediction. He didn't like it at all! Where other's hearts may have swelled with pride at the prospect of being immortalised in legend as a great hero, Link's heart was trying to escape his mouth, while his stomach seemed intent on churning itself into liquefaction. The thought of everyone knowing his name and deeds brought on a sense of dizzying vertigo, however it didn't scramble his brain sufficiently to blind him to the elephant in the room. "Zelda, how can you tell my story when you don't know half of it?!" He blurted, rather more accusatory than he intended.

This clearly threw the princess, who shuffled awkwardly in her seat, snapping defensively "Link, I may not have accompanied you on much of your adventure, however I knew all the essential steps you would have to take. I was not TOTALLY oblivious to the trials you faced!" The instant the words leapt from her lips, colour left her cheeks and she dived into an apology. "I am so sorry, Link! Please forgive me… I… I…"

Her defensive riposte fired up Link's temper, however seeing her immediate switch to contrite speechlessness doused the flames with a bucket of sympathy courtesy of his heart. He rarely saw her so lost for words! "Zelda, the fault's on me. I didn't mean to sound so… critical. It's just that you're right in your prediction. I don't like it."

"I know." Zelda mumbled.

As much as he realised it was nothing more than digging their collective heads in the sand, his own discomfort, combined with witnessing hers urged him to suggest "Are you sure you wish to continue princess? Perhaps we should…"

"Do I wish to continue? No. Do I need to continue? Yes." She huffed. "I appreciate your continued concern, dear hero, but this is an issue which cannot be put off."

"Okaaay, then how about we regroup and I ask my question more politely."

"Yes." The princess mumbled again, nervously playing with the seam of one of her ivory gloves. How had their roles reversed? He was supposed to be the awkward one, while she was meant to be imperturbably dignified and erudite. Now here he was using more syllables than she was, even as his stomach felt like a windmill in a hurricane.

"Ahem, why didn't you consult me? Surely the more sources you have the more accurate and detailed the story can be and the more answers you can give?"

Zelda demonstrated formidable fortitude as she recovered her eloquence almost instantly, with little more than a glance to the sky and a couple of soothing breaths of the crisp breeze, on which Link could detect the scents of wild flowers from Hyrule fields. While her way with words had recovered, her composure was still far from strong enough to carry her usual princess veil. The question earned a wry scoff. "Oh, believe me Link I intended to, however it just so happened, on the very day I planned to do so, I arrive at the barracks to find you engaged in a ferocious illegal holmgang and well… do you need me to fill in the rest."

"It's not like I knocked myself out on purpose princess!"

"I was not suggesting you did and I did not bring it up to assign blame. However, as much as it distressed me to see YOU injured, it was not YOUR unconscious state which ignited the court, ensuring that every carefully planned moment I had set aside for consulting with you was instead consumed by fire management. It truly was my intention to consult you, even if simply to prepare you for what I was planning. I realised, however, I had already stalled too long and haste was now a necessity, so I took my own knowledge, combined with the accounts of all the resistance members and set about composing a story for our age."

"Composing?! But… that makes it sound like you just made it up?"

"Oh, ahem, it is based on the true events, however certain details required… amending."

"Amending?!"

"I'm sorry Link, but the purpose of the story is to unite, reaffirm and reassure Hyrule's citizens and as much faith as I have in them, I know that the unvarnished truth is riddled with shades of grey. Such shades are easily distorted by the very anger, grief and fear which grips many of my people. Believe me, if I saw any other option I would gladly take it, yet every alternative or contingence I could produce only seemed to present further complications. It's unfortunate… but necessary"

Rationality told him the princess was right, yet his arguably naïve principles had a hard time swallowing such a cynical pill. Surely Hyrule wouldn't descend into chaos from simply telling the truth? "So, what are these amendments?"

Zelda took a moment of preparation and her eyes fixed pensively yet determinedly on his own. "I might as well start at the beginning. Firstly, you do not start your journey in the form of a wild animal, chained up in a dank dungeon. Indeed, there is no mention of your wolf form."

He had to admit that the removal of his curse or his incarceration wasn't an omission he would miss yet it presented a myriad of obstacles to the rest of his story. "Well then how DOES it start?"

"Your tale begins as it really did, with you attempting to rescue the children back in Ordon, however you do not transform into a wolf and are not captured by the forces of twilight."

"But the dungeon is where I first met Midna. She helped me escape! She was the one who guided me to you!"

"Not in this tale. In this official version, as you are the chosen of the goddesses, they gift you with a divine vision which guides you to me."

"Divine vision?! What am I in this "story". Some kind of…of… sacred prophet! And what of Midna? What of her guidance? Her help?! Surely you can't omit her from the tale?!"

"I would never wish to omit her, Link, however to include her I… I had to make fundamental alterations to her story and her fate."

"What do you mean "Fundamental alterations"?"

"I mean that Midna is not the usurped Twilli princess but a cursed Zora mage, who escaped the Zora massacre and vowed revenge."

Link could almost imagine the taste of bile on his tongue at having to speak such lies about his friend. This so called "alteration" diminished everything she'd had to endure, everything she'd achieved and everything she'd sacrificed! It was a betrayal of everything she was! How could Zelda possibly justify this?! To think that mere minutes ago he was reassuring her of their friendship and now, for the first time in their short friendship he was utterly furious at her. Yet for all the fire and froth in his belly and his mouth, deep down he prayed she could find the words to extinguish it. His fury disgusted him as much as her betrayal. "Why Zelda?! What possible reason could you have to change the… the… the core of who she was! what she overcame! It's… It's a betrayal of her legacy!"

The sting of his words was marked clear as day on the princess's face and any semblance of composure she'd fought to regain vanished. "Link, I did what I did to ensure Midna can have a legacy!" She cried, voice shaking with aggrieved anguish. "Do you think I simply decided to cast aside her Twili identity on a whim?! Do you think I lack the understanding to comprehend the diminution of her struggles and her fortitude, the betrayal of just how much she endured and the strength of her character?! A Princess, betrayed, usurped and cursed by her own mad cousin, forced to watch her people corrupted and used as pawns in a war she did not want. She was then faced with the prospect of fighting her own race to aid a world she did not care for and a people she distrusted, in the small hope of restoring what she had lost. Yet through her unlikely partnership with an honourable, valiant and humble young Hylian, she grew and regained what, to many, would have been forever extinguished from what she suffered; hope, trust and empathy. Her adventure was one of great hardship, sacrifice and inspiring growth and by removing its core I have reduced her to a foot note in a story that was just as much hers as yours! Believe me, Link, I know and feel the depth of that betrayal…" Zelda almost choked on the bitter words and shook her head ruefully. On recounting Midna's story however, Zelda's tortured gaze had acquired a spark of determination, drawly inspiration from the resilience of their lost friend. The sheer level of admiration in her eyes and words caught the hero off guard. Her reverence helped subdue his anger towards her, yet it lingered in his belly, confused and searching for a new target, namely whatever it was which forced her clearly unwilling hand.

The princess of light, spurred on by the inspiration of her twilight counterpart, took a brief moment to gather breath before diving back into her impassioned defence. "Yet as diminished as her achievements may be, at least as a Zora her name will still be treated with reverence and respect, without fear of defamation or demonization."

"Demonization?! What, just because she's Twili?! She did just as much to save the kingdom as you or me! Surely if we just told them…"

"I'm afraid no amount of heroic deeds could ever truly absolve her of the crime of her lineage and, as much as it dismays me, I cannot fault my people for such feelings. Their only experience of the Twili race is the shadowy monstrous force which ransacked their homes and took their loved ones; grotesque, alien and devoid of conscience or empathy. Regardless of Midna's many feats, it would take a truly unjaundiced and compassionate mind to reconcile those two and those are rare as diamonds."

"Surely saving the kingdom counts for something?"

"But did she really do this to save us or was it simply to regain her throne?" Zelda, why would you… "Link. I am simply stating what many of my subjects would ask and, regardless of my response, they would believe what they wished to believe. At best they would probably argue that Midna was simply making up for her own mistake of allowing Zant to take over and therefore, while worthy of some semblance of forgiveness, is undeserving of praise. At worst, they could cast her as a manipulative soulless witch, whose supposedly selfless actions were actually purely motivated by self-interest and whose sole reason to help us was to regain her throne. Indeed, they would probably be claiming she was planning an invasion of her own as we speak."

Link had always sought to be one of those rare diamonds the Princess referred to, yet even he was struggling to reconcile her words and the thought there are people out there who would legitimately think such trash about Midna. His ire was rising again, despite his best efforts to contain it, this time not towards the princess but the ungrateful, ignorant masses. He hated himself for it, knowing deep down that doing so made him just as prejudiced as they were and with arguably less justification. For all his rationality and empathy, he found himself infinitely less able to forgive the faceless hypothetical masses than his compassionate and beautiful Princess. The only way he could soothe the boiling broth in his belly was to tell himself she was overstating her case. "Come on, Princess. I find it hard to believe they'd go that far."

Zelda laughed bitterly. "Oh, how I wish I could tell you I was exaggerating! However, the petition on my desk, demanding I rally all Hyrule's military to commit to a counterstrike against the twilight before they can regroup, speaks to the contrary." This news sent a chill up Link's spine, while the nauseous churning of his stomach increased exponentially. He had just saved them from an invasion and now there were people desperate to drag them into another, no matter how foolish or impossible the prospect! With this overwhelming concoction of anger and horror, he couldn't face the beleaguered yet determined Princess, lest he reveal the magnitude of his own jaundiced distress. He needed space! He needed fresh air! He rose unsteadily from his chair and staggered to the balustrade, dogged by the dizzying vertigo of the conflict within his head. He leant heavily on the stonework and gazed out to the vista to try and calm himself. The feeling of Zelda's deep blue orbs probing him pensively, trying to decipher his thoughts, pricked the hairs on his neck.

"Please do not miscomprehend. Those who think this way are a minority among the people of our fair kingdom and of course any thought of a counter invasion is beyond the realm of rational consideration… not to mention the destruction of the mirror of twilight rendering such an act impossible. It is simply tragic inevitability that in the wake of such catastrophe, while some seek nothing more than clarity and closure to console their grieving hearts, others seek someone to blame, regardless of whether said blame is deserved." Her voice tailed off and she shifted uncomfortable, her gaze still grazing his back as he stared silently into the distance. "I have done what I can to ensure her memory is protected from those who would wish to desecrate it but… to tie up loose ends and further insulate her, I had to make a final amendment to her story…" She paused again, searching for a clue to the hero's disposition, but he remained still and silent. The skylark had finished his song for the day leaving just the summer breeze to fill in the gaps.

Link may have appeared static and lifeless as a statue but internally he was a maelstrom of frantic activity, as he endeavoured to arrange the myriad of revelations into comprehensible string of consciousness and they all pointed to one logical conclusion. It should have shocked him! It should have disgusted him and yet it fell perfectly in line with the loss he'd felt following her departure. "Midna dies, doesn't she? In the story, I mean." His voice was nothing more than a low rumble, but the Princess's sharp intake of breath was enough to tell she'd caught every word.

"Yes…" came the Princess's equally hushed reply, punctuated by another pregnant pause, drawing out their combined discomfort. "It was the easiest and safest way to explain her disappearance, as well as further protect for her legacy. She makes a heroic last stand against Ganondorf to buy time for you to rescue me from the tower, a noble sacrifice that will help insulate her from prying questions… It is exceedingly poor taste to dig too deep into the darker corners of the honoured dead."

It was an undeniably disturbing notion, which didn't aid his ailing stomach, however on reflection it seemed a logical one given the circumstances. It nevertheless brought up an inconsistency, one he was hesitant to voice. Zelda gave another sigh of resignation. "Other than a few small embellishments, you'll find the rest of the story consistent with events as you know them. Of course, this is likely of little consolation to you, particularly given that not only have I betrayed Midna's memory but in orchestrating the widespread dissemination of these falsehoods, I have forced you into a terrible choice; betray Midna and your principles and assist in perpetuating these lies or… speak the truth and betray me…"

The princess's voice trailed off once more, however silence was averted the soft rustle of her skirt as she fidgeted nervously, eyes still probing Link's motionless profile. Even without facing her, he could sense rueful apprehension emanating from every pore of her pale visage.

Contrary to what she clearly believed however, such a choice was not so torturous a decision to him as she had feared. Yes, he valued his honesty and honouring Midna's memory and, yes, the idea of such flagrant fabrications, which could only be called propaganda, sat about as well with his conscience as oil and vinegar, but once he'd absorbed her words he was also capable of seeing her point of view. if anything, she had overstated her case and where he had briefly felt a spark of anger towards her, he now ached with a pang of guilt for not trusting her intentions and reacting so harshly as to call her actions a betrayal. He also suspected it was her own guilt which fuelled her uncharacteristic doubt and nerves, a guilt which he had exacerbated with his bloody thoughtless accusation! He'd have to rectify that but first there was still a glaring inconsistency she'd yet to address.

"I…I…I understand if…" The princess stammered but was suddenly cut off by the hero's voice; low, sonorous and calm. "Zelda, not that it will change my decision but aren't you forgetting something?"

"Er, what… what do you mean?"

Link finally turned and freely granted Zelda the answer her eyes had been desperately probing for, leaving his emotions, bare and unrestrained, radiate from his face; his conflicted thoughts and his compassionate heart. His conscience, already pricked with guilt, was further stung by the unshed tears in her eyes. "Zelda, you must be aware. If you change Midna's story, you also change your own. It was her Twili nature which led to her near demise from overexposure to Lanayru's light and only your sacrifice could save her. Surely, by changing her to a Zora all of those events change too? I'm not entirely sure what you did to save her but I do know you sacrificed your life to save her. That is just as noble and heroic as anything me, the resistance or even Midna herself did. It's just as worthy of recognition and praise and yet, without her Twili nature, I can't see how it could fit. In diminishing her part, you also diminishing yours down to a mere damsel. You are worthy of better!"

A melancholy smile crossed Zelda's lips and she blinked back her tears. "Thank you for your consideration Link, but I am fine with my "part". I did not do it for fame and I would rather be known as a damsel for a thousand days than Ganondorf's puppet for a minute. It was my sacrifice which enabled him to use my body against you. I'm not saying I regret my sacrifice for a second, however I do not consider it deserving of reverence, given the unforeseen ramifications…"

"You can't hold yourself accountable for things you can't predict. You said it yourself. You couldn't foresee Ganondorf's disturbed plan… and quite frankly I'd be more concerned if you could." He hoped his earnest assurance and a wry quip might help drive back her tears. It was a risk, particularly given today's record of putting his foot in his mouth but he felt he had to try.

He was rewarded with an undignified snort and the princess hastily brought a handkerchief up to her face. When it reappeared from behind the crisp white fabric, her smile had grown and her sapphire orbs where relieved of their moist glaze. "You may be right but as I am sure you realise, guilt is rarely guided by rationality and even the wisest of souls can be pulled by its currents, especially when your life is governed by the responsibilities of an entire kingdom on your shoulders. Regardless, Link, you have yet to give me an answer. Do you still have my support or have I lost your trust? Will you stay… or walk away?"

Link decided to delegate this speech to his heart. "Zelda, have you not noticed? I've already walked away…" pausing dramatically, he stretched his arms wide, gesturing to the majestic rolling hills of Hyrule Field. "… for some fresh air and perspective. It's something I need to do from time to time… but know this princess…" He closed the distance between them and perched once more on the edge of the Méridienne, fixing his gaze, filled with all the intense sincerity he could muster, on her own. "I PROMISE I'll always come back! You can count on it."

Fan-flipping-tastic! Let his heart do the talking and he immediately makes a promise fate will probably force him to break. Nevertheless, it appeared to have caused quite the stir, as Zelda's eyes were wide with unrestrained astonishment and, glinting in the corners, the unmistakable glow of hope. Even so, it was with hesitant scepticism that she voiced her reply, as if his words were too good to be true. "Please forgive me for what may appear an impertinent question but… You DO grasp the full implications of what I have told you? You will have to accept and even participate in affirming a sanitised, sensationalised fairy tale fabrication of your adventures as the truth. You will have to tell lies which diminish Midna's legacy and will likely receive reverence and adoration from most anyone who discovers your identity…"

"Look, Princess, I wont even begin to pretend the prospect of those things doesn't turn my stomach and my conscience. I don't like it… but I understand why it MUST be done. It may sit poorly with my principles and it may be uncomfortable but if it brings peace to those who suffer, what sort of hero would I be to decry it?... But more importantly, what sort of friend would I be if I didn't support you?"

Sweet manner from the sacred realm! Zelda's beaming radiance could almost convince him it was midday again. The confident young royal he knew as Zelda, bloomed anew in the early evening light, her posture straightening, her shoulders rising and her countenance glowing as though a great dark weight had been lifted. It was a weight Link had been subconsciously caught under too and he shared in the waves of relief and elation which emanated from the exhilarated princess. It was a potent and heady concoction. "Oh Link, how grateful I am for your understanding and honesty. No matter your experiences with the court, I pray you never lose it. I must confess, I had been dreading revealing my plan to you for fear you would hate me. That is one of the reasons it took me so long to summon you."

"I doubt I could ever hate you Zelda, but I thought my summons was to receive my punishment?"

"You are correct, however the nature of your punishment depended on whether you chose to stay or leave."

"Ah, let me guess! If I'd chosen to walk away you'd have had me arrested and thrown in the dungeon cos you simply COULD. NOT. BEEAARRR to see me go." The hero couldn't resist quipping drolly, waggling his eyebrows.

Zelda, still soaring on the wings of her immense relief and exhilaration, broke into riotous unrestrained hysterics, far beyond what the joke warranted, yet undeniably infectious. It was an explosion of excessive exuberance which Link found himself unable to resist joining in with. All the tension, nerves and weighty words which had hung over their every interaction for the last half hour was blown away on a wave of laughter.

"Hahahahaha, Pleeeaaase, as if I would ever be so barbaric! Being a fairy tale princess and you being my hero, I could not see you incarcerated in such squalid surroundings. I would simply lock that door and seduce you into confessing your passionate, undying love for me…" Link's jaw promptly fell off, while his head took the liberty of spontaneously combusting. Surely she couldn't know… "as all heroes do for their fairy tale princesses and I would graciously accept and confess with equal passion and everyone would live happily ever after." Realisation of his absurd false alarm did little to stop the flames reaching the tips of his pointed ears. The princess took one look and burst out laughing again. As equally catchy as it was to the last, the bashful hero wasn't infected due to being more occupied with containing the wildfires raging in his cheeks.

"Oh my, the look on your face, dear hero!" The teasing princess crowed mirthfully, practically clapping her hands in childlike glee. "It almost looks like you took me seriously for a moment there. But honestly Link, am I really such a horrifying prospect for courtship?"

Having barely managed to contain his cheeks, Link struggled to form a coherent answer that wouldn't instantly reignite the blaze, spluttering " .of course !" His heart internally added "quite the opposite in fact!", prompting a wince as his rational mind hastily sought to bundle such thoughts down to the basement of his brain where they belonged.

Zelda merely quirked a brow, her lips curled into a sly smirk.

"Zelda, it's not you that's the problem. I just have an allergic reaction to anything romance related."

"Oh dear, my poooor hero, suffering with such a crippling affliction. Well that is something we MUST cure with the greatest expeditiousness. We cannot possibly have such allergic reactions spoiling Telma's big day, not to mention, a prospective date would find such an allergy most objectionable."

Link groaned. He just couldn't catch a break today, could he? No sooner had he succeeded in his uphill battle of reaffirming her faith in their friendship, that she instantly switched to teasing him mercilessly and rubbing his nose in it with such words as expedi… expid… expeditiousness, which he could only guess roughly translated hastiness. He could certainly see why she would choose The Three T's as her ladies in waiting, what with their shared penchant for teasing, albeit Zelda to a much lesser degree. Regardless, he didn't get why she was saying they needed to be hasty about curing his allergy to romance, which didn't even exist. If anything, he found his thoughts drifting too far in such directions! Anyway, back on topic… "What's the rush? Telma's wedding's what… six months away? Add to that I'm not a particular fan of parties or big get togethers, and my slim chances of getting a date…"

"Slim chances?! You could have a line of ladies as long as my list of suitors if you simply let it be known you were looking for a belle to accompany you to the ball, and unlike most of my suitors, they may actually be more interested in you than your title."

"Yeah, and they'll probably take one look at my crooked nose and leave. Surely you've heard the popular insult "crooked nosed knave"? Gives men like me a bad reputation and not the kind women seem to like."

"Goddesses, Link! I never took you to be so vain, or think us ladies are so shallow creatures! Yes, I have heard that colourful phrase being flung on several occasions, even in the refined civility of the court. I have however never heard it on the lips of a lady or directed to one whose nose was actually crooked, and frankly, yours is far from unsightly. Adds a certain roguish charm. Regardless, did you really expect such flimsy excuses to work on me?"

Link huffed but couldn't hide a wry smile "Honestly? No but what can you expect from a man with an allergy to romance?"

With her initial elation having waned, the princess veil reasserted itself, however this time her eyes twinkled with mirth, all the tension which had haunted their earlier conversations clearly exorcised. Her voice held similar amusement behind dignified nonchalance. "See, I do not buy that you have an allergy to romance at all. I think you are secretly a hopeless romantic and are simply afraid of word getting out… afraid people will discover your great weakness."

"You're free to think whatever you like but you aren't always quite as clever as you believe." His riposte, while confidently delivered was somewhat sabotaged by his shifting gaze. She had hit rather close to the mark. He awkwardly cleared his throat and initiated his number one defence to uncomfortable topics. "Anyway, how come when you were healing the rest of my broken bones, you didn't fix my nose?"

Zelda's arched eyebrow called out his change of subject. "Firstly, I was not responsible for fixing them, merely accelerating bone regeneration and secondly, I could not fix your nose because it is made, not of bone, but of cartilage and while there are a great many healing spells for various ailments and injuries, none has yet been discovered which effects cartilage… at least with the desired result. And, may I point out, for all my efforts to heal you I have yet to receive a proper thank you." Her veil didn't crack but her tone hinted at mild annoyance.

Damn! She was right! He really did keep putting his foot in it today. "Sorry, Zelda. Just with all the other hectic events it slipped my mind… even though it really shouldn't have. Thank you, Princess. I'm truly grateful for your aid in my speedy recovery…" Other than this bloody ankle. He gave a gruff earthy chuckle and added "Yet another thing I owe you for."

"You are quite welcome and please, if anything I am the one who is still indebted to you dear hero. Now, may you permit me to continue my repayment by taking another look at your injured ankle?"

"As you wish… your highness"

"Link!"

"Sorry Zelda" For once he wasn't actually sorry. If he had to surrender to such embarrassment, he would at least go down swinging, even if it was a cheap shot, deliberately using her title like that.

The princess merely rolled her eyes and shook her head, as Link begrudgingly reclined in the Méridienne, presenting his feet to her. The sudden sensation of her delicate gloved fingers brushing against his bare skin almost had him bolting up again, an instinct which, while resisted, didn't stop him flinching and letting lose an indignant cry of "Hey!"

Zelda, startled by this reaction, pulled away, confused and concerned. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"Oh, err, um no, no, it didn't hurt." He stammered

"Please Link, the invincible hero routine will only hamper my examination. If it is painful you must let know."

"Honestly princess, it had nothing to do with pain. It was just rather a… rather a shock." Damn it! His cheeks were heating up for seemingly the millionth time.

Zelda's eyes gleamed and a bubbly giggle escaped her smiling lips "My, you really were not lying, were you? You DO find it embarrassing! Well rest assured Link, you are safe in my hands and you can expect nothing less than absolute dignity and decorum, as befits the princess of wisdom. Now, if you can keep perfectly still and silent for a moment. I wish to check the bones have healed properly, and the necessary spell requires my full concentration."

Link complied and watched as Zelda held out both hands over his ankle and began whispering a long and unintelligible incantation. To his astonishment, the second the last mystical word escaped her lips, his ankle began to glow a ghostly green, or, to be more specific, the bones did, shining out through his skin. It was rather creepy to be honest but it gave him another solution for his nose problem. Zelda was oblivious to his epiphany as she fixated on his glowing bones. "Hmmm, it would seem that the bones have healed up quite nicely, which means all the pain and swelling are the result of soft tissue damage and inflammation. I cannot heal it completely but I can sooth and speed the recovery process."

"Princess, before we go into that. I think I've got an idea how to solve my nose issue, at least short term…"

"Link, have I not told you of the dangers of illusion spells."

How could she have possibly known, or even guessed, that was his ingenious plan?! "What? How did you… Did you just read my mind?"

Zelda scoffed "Oh what nonsense! I do not possess such an ability, no matter how useful it would be in the courts. You have simply suggested such a solution before, for your hair, and I predicted you may once again resort to such an idea, despite my clear warnings against such the possibility of such a solution."

"Well I just can't see how an illusion spell can be harmful."

Despite a huff of reluctance, the princess launched into trying to explain the matter. "Pretty much any magic spell can be harmful, even healing, if used incorrectly or for too long. Some, however, are obviously more dangerous than others, particularly those which harness unstable magical energies. Illusion spells contain both stable and unstable components. The stable component is harmless however the unstable component, if allowed to make contact with organic tissue, can cause chaotic and irreversible damage, disfiguring and distorting all it touches."

"But I've seen you use the spell on yourself."

"Indeed, but there are major differences between casting a spell on yourself and someone else. When I cast a spell my entire being, even the clothes I wear, become a conduit for magic energy in its most basic and stable form. This forms a natural barrier to unstable magic elements, only allowing the harmless stable elements to make contact. Now, an illusion spell once fully formed is perfectly stable, however during the illusion's conception it contains both a stable and an unstable element. The tether, which attaches the spell to the host subject is always stable however the illusion itself, the image you see, is unstable until it is fully formed. When casting an illusion spell on myself the illusion will naturally follow the contours of whatever part of me or my clothes I am casting it on, forming a second skin if you will. When casting on another I must consciously perfectly sculpt this second skin to the most infinitesimally minute of degrees, lest the illusion not attach properly or unimaginable worse, the unstable magic makes contact with its host, causing any organic tissue in the vicinity of the contact point to distort, mutant or even disintegrate. For that reason, I have never even attempted it. Reading of the effects was enough." The Princess shuddered.

Sheesh! That was rather darker than he expected! Time for operation cheer up. "On second thought… I think my crooked nose is growing on me."

"I'm glad. One should always feel comfortable in their own skin and, as I said, your nose carries its own… eccentric charm."

"it's certainly nothing to be sniffed at."

"Hahaha, Link… I admire your bravery in uttering such an exceptionally bad pun."

"Bad?! Come on, take that back! It was magnificent and you know it!"

"I will admit, you delivered it with panache."

"Hmm, there's just no pleasing some people. By the way Zelda, you didn't need to give me a huge long explanation. You could have just said no."

"Yes and if I had, you would have likely brought it up again as a solution to another problem somewhere down the road."

Her highness was as perceptive as ever. "Would not!" came Link's mock protest, channelling his best impression of a petulant Talo, though his goofy smile gave away his jest.

Her highness chuckled. "You've already ignored my warnings once." With a roll of her eyes her attention was diverted by the neglected table and their long-forgotten cups of tea. "Oh, how uncivilised. Cold tea just will not do." Enclosing the cup in both hands, she muttered another incantation and once finished the tell-tale glow of her tri-force shone through her pure white glove, accompanied by an odd metallic scent which seemed familiar yet he couldn't place. Within seconds steam began rising from the dark liquid. With the spell now completed she gave the tea a gentle blow, before taking a tentative sip. She eyes fluttered closed and from her upturned lips came a hum of soothing satisfaction. "Hmmmmmm, nothing like a delectable cup of calming tea at the end of a long day… Would you like your tea heated. I assure you it's far better that way."

"Thanks for the offer, but seeing as it's almost sundown, shouldn't we really be getting on with the reasons I'm actually here, namely the whole issue of my punishment and, of course, healing my ankle."

"We have probably just short of an hour, but nevertheless you are correct. I'm surprised you actually mentioned your ankle, given your obvious reluctance."

"Well… you've already touched it, so it's not like it can get much more embarrassing…" That technically wasn't true but hopefully she wouldn't find his great weakness. "Plus, it really has been a pain, so if you can do anything then it will be worth the embarrassment."

"So, you finally admit it! I knew it hurt." Zelda proclaimed with an air of triumph.

"Alright, don't get TOO smug, princess. You still aren't as good at reading me as you think."

"Whatever soothes your ego, hero. Now try to keep your ankle still, this will take a while."

"Wait, then shouldn't we hold off on the healing until we've discussed my punishment."

"Why not WHILE I heal your ankle."

"But I thought…"

"Oh, I see your confusion. Link, this healing spell is among the most basic magic abilities one can learn and thus I can do it practically without thought so conversing will be fine. Also, it may have slipped your notice but I am a lady…" Oh, he'd definitely noticed! "hence multitasking is in my blood, just as much as irrational tears and the compulsion to gossip."

Sensations of pleasant warmth miraculously began coursing through his sore limb, reminiscent of those he'd vaguely picked up as he'd drifted in and out of consciousness in the immediate aftermath of the accident. Glancing down revealed hundreds of golden threads extending from the princess's outstretched hands to his ankle, wrapping it in a luminous cocoon. Wow! Sarcasm and magic at the same time. She wasn't joking about multitasking!

"Does that feel alright?" Zelda asked pensively.

"Yes, yes it feels…" he struggled for a more profound poetic word but failed "… soothing"

"Good. That is its intent. Please let me know if it changes. Now shall we proceed forthwith to the primary purpose of this assignation?"

"My punishment?"

"Indeed. It may come as a surprise but there are two versions."

"Two versions?" He repeated suspiciously.

"The official narrative, the convenient half-truth you will tell the court if questioned, and the unofficial version, what you will actually be doing."

"So, even my punishment is couched in court intrigue?" He snarked drolly.

"My innocent hero, surely you have realised by now, there is nothing in this castle which is wholly unsullied by the grubby little hands of court intrigue."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to get that impression."

"It is a fact worth keeping in mind whenever you engage with the court."

Link simply nodded.

"So, to your punishment. Officially, it will be as follows; you will attend the royal kitchens at midday on Wednesdays and Fridays for the next two months, where several of the staff will instruct and oversee you in various unpleasant medial tasks around the royal kitchen and servant's courters, such as disposing of waste or cleaning the latrines. You will then be dismissed at six o-clock, to rest or continue your guard duties depending on your health and your schedule."

"Alright, and the truth?" This was beginning to sound like a conspiracy?!

"Unofficially, while you WILL be initially reporting to the royal kitchen, rather than completing tasks for them, a couple of trusted servants while guide you up through the servant's passage's to the royal wing, where you will be escorted here to the study. Your duties will then be dependant on whether I am present or not, along with my workload. If I am here, free and unencumbered by royal obligations then there are two tasks I wish of you… Firstly, at each acquaintance, I wish to hear a tale of your adventures with Midna, your real adventures, so I may record and archive them in the royal records of Hyrule's history, to preserve the truth for the future. I realise this may be a difficult and painful experience for you, however I believe it could help both of us come to terms with our pasts and perhaps, when the twilight invasion is no longer a raw wound but instead a distance memory, consigned to the mists of time, your truth can be told to the public and Midna's true sacrifices will finally be recognised."

Such a request was unexpected, yet despite the trepidation of reliving his past, he couldn't say it was unwelcome. The thought of unburdening himself of his private memories of his steadfast friend, knowing they would be preserved by the princess and her writings, brought a tremendous feeling of relief. He'd considered himself the sole custodian of her legacy ever since her departure and the realisation that the princess was willing to share the burden lifted a huge weight from his spirit. It could also provide some sense of atonement to their inevitably guilty consciences once the bards propaganda tales start spreading.

It certainly wasn't what he would class as punishment though and, with the courts apparent interest in his disciplining, the seemingly conspiratorial nature of the whole plan made him uneasy. Foolishly, however there was part of him exploding with exhilaration at the thought of secret rendezvous with the princess. That part of him… was a moron!

"My second task was actually inspired by a mutual friend, who informed me that rather than spend your precious recovery time resting, you had dedicated yourself most industriously to the unenviable task of attempting to learn politics, in the hopes of somehow supporting me politically..." Shad sold him out! It was supposed to be a secret! "It truly warmed my heart to hear of your dedication Link and, I will admit, such news gave me much needed hope for this meeting, without which I may not have possessed the nerve to confess the full extent of my troubles… and mistakes." Ok, perhaps he could forgive Shad this time. "In any event, I realised all your valiant devotion would go to waste without intervention, for you lack the position or the knowledge to aid me in any effective way and books would be of little help. So, my second task for you is to dedicate yourself to attaining your captain's rank and I, in return, will tutor you in all there is to know about court politics and its vagaries… Link, you seem concerned?"

Concerned was one word for it! "Um don't get me wrong Zelda, I'm grateful for you setting aside your precious time to tutor me… undeniably excited at the prospect of seeing you more often and, um… glad not to be receiving an actual punishment but… and I hate to sound like a wet blanket here, but isn't this rather risky… I mean… I'm meeting the princess of Hyrule in secret… in her private study… and we've got a prearranged alibi lined up for the court, who are apparently keenly interested in my "punishment"… a punishment which isn't actually happening! Forgive me but weren't you saying just earlier that we needed to avoid getting involved in a conspiracy. Well, this sounds like a conspiracy to me."

"Conspiracy is such a strong term." The princess reply airily, seemingly totally unconcerned by the dangers he'd just raised. "Besides, as long as we stick to the official story the court will be none the wiser. Trust me Link, I am a master at these things and should anything slip out, I have contingencies in place. This is far from my first conspiracy." She winked almost mischievously, reminding him somehow of Midna and instantly his apprehension melted away, leaving just the giddy thrill of a child planning their first raid of the cookie jar. Yes, He had been guilty of that as a child!

"Of course, if you really are uncomfortable with this I'm sure I could rearrange to make your cover story the real deal…"

"Oh no, no it's fine. Your company is infinitely more appealing and more than worth the risk of a little conspiracy."

"Link, you flatterer. Now, how is your ankle feeling?"

"Better… but still aching."

"It will. This spell reduces swelling and inflammation but it does not deal with the underlying damage. Full healing would require a more comprehensive investigation and a far more precise and complex spell, which our time will not permit. Speaking of which, it appears we have roughly twenty minutes to spare before sundown. I can continue the spell, which may reduce the pain further, and if you have any further concerns about our little "conspiracy" you may present them to me now. Otherwise we can start your lessons if you wish or if you have other matters to attend to… then know that I give you permission to leave."

Was that disappointment in her voice? Surely she was tired by now? She'd been talking for almost two hours. Not that he was complaining. He'd enjoyed her company immensely, particularly once the weights of her worries had been lifted and he could listen to her voice for hours. What the heck, he might as well take advantage of the opportunity to clear things up. "Well, it's less a concern and more of a question."

"Please, ask away."

"Ok, what do I do when you are busy?"

"That is when I expect you to study for your promotion to the rank of captain."

"But what's my promotion got to do with politics?"

"Link, in your current role, how much interaction and exposure do you have with members of the court?"

"Er, practically none."

"And how much political influence do you possess in your position?"

"None that I know of."

"Correct, and that will not change, regardless of knowledge, until your social status is raised, which can only be done through promotion."

"So you're saying, if I reach the rank of captain then I'll have the power to support you politically?"

"Not as a captain, no, but it will bring you several important steps closer to that goal. True political influence would come with the rank of knight, which would elevate you to nobility with all the privileges and power that come with it. The rank of captain is the stepping stone to get you there and will give you plenty of opportunities to observe the court and apply what I teach you. Also there are also some other… perks of the position…" Ok, Zelda seemed rather excited and he felt like he was blindfolded and being led round the same bush repeatedly. Come on Zelda, cut the suspense! "… such as spending each day in the company of her royal highness."

"Wait, you mean…?!"

"Yes, Link when you reach the rank of Captain your duties guarding empty hallways will be over and you will officially become my own dedicated personal guard."

His heart jumped, even as his mind desperately tried to temper his own growing excitement at the prospect with reality. "I thought you already had your own guards?"

"Yes, fifty in fact, each and every one of them investigated and vetted extensively by the council "for my safety" and rotated regularly to prevent the risk of "disrespectful familiarity", as has been the tradition ever since the council banished Alfonzo and amended the laws surrounding royal security. For your appointment to the castle guard however, I used a loophole to make some amendments of my own and so, upon reaching the rank of Captain, you will officially take on the role of my own personally selected bodyguard, accompanying me anywhere outside of the royal wing, barring the latrine of course…" Link had to admit, it wasn't just his heart that was exhilarated at the prospect of spending more time with her. He greatly enjoyed her company regardless and shadowing her would doubtless be infinitely more interesting than, as she said, guarding an empty hallway for five hours. Nevertheless, his heart WOULD be a problem! Speaking of which… "…You will also be permitted access to all areas of the royal wing, with the exception of my bedchamber, for obvious reasons. We wouldn't want certain tongues wagging… although… it could be the perfect repellent against my suitors." The princess giggled, a hint of deviousness sneaking through her delicate trill and once again he was somehow reminded of Midna. For all his hearts exuberance, embarrassment always stalked close behind.

"You're joking right?" he blurted.

That earned him a roll of the eyes from the princess. "Of course, Link. Though you will still play your part on that front, as you will, "unfortunately", be required to shadow me everywhere… even when suitors desire a "private" audience. It will certainly reduce the risk of roving hands. I trust you can protect me from such threats, dear hero."

Link flushed as he was suddenly hit be a barrage of mental images of himself traipsing round through the palace gardens after the princess, bedecked in her beautiful pink gown… with another man, some pompous jackass, on her arm. He couldn't see their faces but he could see the mans hand creeping slowly, disgustingly towards her derriere. His hands balled into fists and his jaw locked. Get your filthy hands off her!

"Speaking of which, Shad mentioned that one of my suitors gave you a poem to deliver to me. Do you have it?"

Wait, what! Startled from his vision, Link blinked gormlessly at the princess and tried desperately to formulate a cohesive sentence, even as his mind spun into action to decide the fate of the poem. "I'm sorry, princess, I didn't quite catch that last bit." He feigned ignorance to buy himself valuable seconds, though deep down he already knew what fate he'd choose.

"Shad told me that Lord Tywin had given you instruction to deliver a poem he had written. Do you have it?"

Yes, he had it, but as he'd whole heartedly decided (whole hearted because his brain didn't get a look in) there was no way she was going to see it. Indeed no one was ever going to see it because the devilish parchment had an imminent date with fire from which it would not return!

"Er no. He did give it to me but unfortunately given the torrential rain yesterday it got rather wet. I left it in my room to dry but it may no longer be readable."

She regarded him silently, pursing and unpursing her lips as she squinted at him, after a moments sceptical contemplation she merely tutted in disappointment. "Oh, what a pity but… back to your question of your captain position and politics. As my personal guard you will attend all my council meetings, where you will get to observe the court in all its facets, which will hopefully reinforce the lessons I teach you, unless that as, you object to having me as your tutor."

His natural aversion to accepting help screamed in the back of his brain but for once heart and reason were united in decision. "Not at all! Sign me up to the royal college of court politics."

"I'm glad to hear it. Now, would you like a quick introductory lesson?"

"Right now?!" Link glanced off to the horizon to see the stretching its deep orange aura to greet the distant mountains, bidding farewell to the day and beckoning the twilight. Now was generally the time he starting taking stock of all the day's events, but just perusing the revelations of the last two hours felt like being buried under several days' worth of ground-shaking discoveries. "It's almost sundown and frankly Zelda, I think if I have to take in any more exposition my head may just explode."

The warm sensations in his ankle faded away, along with the glow of the cocoon, indicating that the spell had ended. The princess released a contemplative hum as she turned her full attention to him. "Point taken. We have discussed much and I'd very much prefer that your head remains in one piece. It's far more conducive to study and friendly conversation."

"It doesn't help much with guarding either and something tells me there isn't it spell for it."

"You are correct. Now one final thing before I bid you goodni…"

Pppssssfffff!

Zelda stared at Link, utterly bemused. "Link, is something wrong?"

Link sat bolt upright, face contorted in his best impression of a horned blowfish, cheeks red and swollen, lips forcibly sealed and eyes bulging like a constipated bull. What the princess had failed to realise was the position of one of her dainty fingers… brushing delicately against the sole of his foot. His great weakness! He had devilishly ticklish feet!

"Nothing." He squeaked, subtly trying to extract the endangered foot from her grasp, however her other hand resting on his ankle made it difficult to do undetected. The finger grazed his sole again and he squirmed, struggling to suppress a raspberry, as he fought to stop himself from laughing.

"Link?" Zelda said concerned. Concern quickly morphed to epiphany and then finally… and terrifyingly… a devious impish smirk settled onto her countenance.

Oh no!

"Nothing Link? So you aren't… ticklish?" Her eyes danced with glee and her voice, low and almost, dare he say, sultry left him with a similar strange feeling to watching her eat that chocolate and raspberry tart.

"No!" he protested emphatically.

"So the reason why you were so desperate to avoid exposing your feet wasn't because you feared me finding your fatal weak spot?"

"Absolutely not!" He tried to retrieve his foot once more but Zelda now had it in her firm grip and, from her smirk, she clearly wasn't about to relinquish it.

"Well then, if you aren't ticklish… then you wont have a problem if I do this…" She began to stroke the sole his foot slowly and methodically. The result was instant and unmistakable. The trapped hero shuddered and squirmed, yet he managed, with great effort to suppress his laughter, sputtering indignantly " .e.e.e is aaa pro.b..lem… It'ssss… it'ssssstill em..baha.. embahaha… embarrassing!"

"Really? Then care please explain what afflicts your speech so badly?"

"I ca… I caaaa… I caaahahahahan't" Link cried between ragged gasps, his resistance slowly crumbling as his whole began to shake with laughter. It was only a matter of moments before the dam would inevitably break and manic painful hysterics flooded out.

"Why?" The princess heightened the torment, with a batting of doe like innocent blue peepers and a cock of her head.

"Haha prin..ha..cess.. .. HAHA STAPPP!"

"What was that Link?"

"Pleahehehesssseeee hahahah stooooppp!" The torment was only getting progressively more intolerable as he practically howled between gasping breaths

"Stop what?"

Oh, come on! "MEERRRCEEEHEHEHEHE!"

"Only when you confess!"

"Con..Haha.. fesssss?"

"Confess that you are ticklish and that was the reason you didn't want my healing."

"Noooohohohohoho!" He couldn't let her win, employing such diabolical methods.

"Confess!"

"N.N. !" Ow! His stomach was hurting. He needed to breath!

"Confess!"

"Al.l. . .i.i. ! I COOOONNNNNFFFFFFEEEEESSSSS!" He yelled, loud enough to probably to be heard in the sacred realm. The princess mercifully relinquished her hands and the beleaguered hero collapsed back onto the Méridienne, panting, exhausted and red as a sunburnt tomato. Zelda showed little sympathy, letting out an almost maniacal giggle as she admired her handiwork, a shameless cheshire grin shattering her usually innocent and composed demeanour.

Still short of breath, he gasped "So… much… for… dignity and… decorum! Was… the… torture really… necessary princess?"

"You did come here for punishment, did you not?"

"That wasn't punishment! That was barbarism! Besides it can't have been your plan because you didn't know I was ticklish until then."

"Maybe, but then how else could I react?! Even the most upright and respectable of ladies can't ignore such golden opportunities when they present themselves, especially when the gentleman they are in the company of caused such doubt and worry with their obstinate insistence to conceal the truth. You brought it entirely on yourself."

Letting out a defeated groan, he slumped back and turned his gaze to the fading vista. He knew he couldn't win. As twilight approached he found himself reminiscing about a memory which he thought buried. The last time he'd had a similar treatment was back in Ordon at the hands of Ilia and she had been similarly vicious. He also couldn't win against her, though that was because her father was almost always watching. Well at least this time he didn't suffer the humiliation of having an audience. Wait a minute! AN AUDIENCE!

"Oh Goddesses, Zelda! Someone must have surely heard me! What in Hyrule would they think?!"

Zelda barely batted an eye, her princess veil, which had been noticeable absent since her wave of elation took her, finally and definitively reasserting itself. "Probably something incredibly indecent, knowing peoples depraved imaginations and the "fierce passion" of your protests." Her mirth was still there but it was muted, not by unhappiness but dignified composure.

Link's heart was leaping far too fast for humour, particularly her brand of teasing "Princess?!"

"Calm Link. Do you really believe I would permit any possibility of eavesdropping with the many sensitive matters we have discussed?"

"But Zelda, we're outside on a balcony! We may be high up but not enough that…"

"Do you know what this is?" The princess picked up what looked like a small black egg-shaped pebble from the table. It appeared entirely unremarkable, to the point that he'd barely given it a second thought when he'd first spied it on the table. Now he was focusing on it however, he could swear he picked up a low hum emanating from enigmatic bauble.

He shook his head, though he sensed it must be some sort of magic artefact.

"It's called a keepsake, a magical runestone, capable of producing a sound bubble which, while allowing sound to enter undisrupted, renders any escaping sounds nothing but distorted whispers."

Well, in a place where as she'd so eloquently put it, everything carries the grubby fingerprints of intrigue and duplicity, he could certainly see its usefulness. Indeed, had he not been too busy panicking, he should have suspected she possessed something like that. "Handy"

"Oh, exceptionally so. I would not be where I am today without it and my war against the court would likely have long since ended in catastrophic defeat. It is truly humbling to contemplate the impact of such a small, seemingly unexceptional object…"

Knock… knock… knock…

A sudden, hesitant tapping on the study door interrupted the princess's musings and she turned, frowning towards the door, muttering indecipherable under her breath. Having vented her frustrations, she snapped curtly "Yes? What is it? I thought I made it clear I was not to be disturbed unless it was a matter of the upmost urgency."

A male voice he didn't recognise answered, unmistakably nervous. "I'm dreadfully sorry your highness, but the rest of the council are waiting upon your presence in the great hall. The royal dinner is prepared, but it will not be served without your attendance and… some of the Lords are becoming… impatient."

Zelda suppressed a groan. "Thank you. Could you please relay a message to the council that her highness will be present shortly, once she has finished her appraisal of their latest bill on the management of congregational land tax."

"Of… of course, your highness"

With the muffled shuffling of hurriedly retreating feet, the princess shifted her blue orbs back to Link and she let out a sigh of disappointment. "Apologies Link, it would seem my duties have caught up with me."

"We never seem to get to finish our conversations, do we?" He noted wryly.

"Hmm, the curse of royalty. Never enough time to say all you wish to and yet being to the point is considered unsophisticated and boorish. Such pressure inevitably leads to the unfortunate habit of prevarication. You just cannot win." She rose reluctantly from her chair. "Regardless, as much as I would love to continue in the pleasure of your company, the time has come where we must part ways."

"Until Friday, that is?" Link replied optimistically as he hastily slipped his socks and boots back on.

"I very much hope so. If my duties allow. Now… if you will accompany me to the door I will have Neela show you out through the servant's passages to the kitchen, the way you'll need to leave after each meeting if we desire to maintain our official cover."

Link obliged and they slipped back through the study, now consumed in shadow with just the low burning remains of a couple of candles and the last vestiges of sunlight, a deep evocative orange glow, illuminating their path. The princess's gliding feet seemed particularly light now, in stark contrast to her heavy steps a couple of hours prior. The only sound as they crossed the room were his clomp of his boots and the swish of her dress against the carpet.

Upon reaching the door, rather than open it, she twirled to gaze at him in the gloom, face half in shadow while the other half was bathed in orange. "I must admit I await our next meeting with great anticipation."

"As do I, Zelda."

"You know Link, I think this has been the most I have ever heard you use my name."

She was right! Indeed, once the early tension had been broken, this was the first time it had truly felt natural. For the first time, her title, while undeniably ever present in his mind didn't raise a barrier in his brain against the reality of their genuine friendship. The mere possibility of romance feelings was still a farcical absurdity but the idea of simple friendship between Princess and Goatherder… what could be implausible with that?

Nevertheless, the realisation brought embarrassment and he was grateful for the shadows. "Well that's just cos this is our longest meeting." He joked, trying to downplay this landmark moment.

The princess tutted. "Please Link, do not douse such a rare ray of sunshine. Besides I believe our dinner together when you first came to the castle was longer."

"Maybe but I'd just endured a lecture on protocol and etiquette from Basil, so you couldn't expect me to be comfortable with such things just yet."

"Hmm, true, true. Nevertheless today… I…" Zelda was seemingly momentarily lost for words, wringing her hands and proving the existence of her feet by shuffling them noisily. "I am sorry. I fear I let my emotions get the better of me and I crossed a line I should not have. Such behaviour is most unbecoming of royalty…" What was she talking about? Revealing her doubts? Her bitterness? Her… "and I could have potentially ruined all my hard work healing your ankle. Is your ankle alright? My tickling interrogation has not hurt it again?"

"No, no its fine. Feels better than it has since the accident in fact. Thank you again."

"Oh, praise the goddesses, I am glad!" Her voice abruptly flipped from relieved to stern. "Nevertheless, remember I have not fixed it, I have merely soothed it and any harsh treatment will likely undo all my work and send you back to square one. Please, be careful with it."

"I'll do my best."

"Knowing your track record hero, such a phrase does not fill me with confidence… however you have shown me a level of trust and understanding beyond anything I could have hoped, and for which I am truly grateful. For that alone you deserve the benefit of the doubt."

"I'm honoured, princess."

Knock, Knock

"Your Highness?" came Neela's chirpy tones through the ornate wood.

"One moment" Zelda replied before turning to Link and whispering "before you go, you do remember our cover story?"

"Um, I thought Neela knows the truth?"

"She does. I simply wish to check YOU remember the cover story, in case anyone like Lord Vanhorn questions you."

"Yes I remember, though the idea does make me nervous."

"Relax, just stick to the story and I'll ensure there's plenty of evidence to corroborate it."

Zelda's confidence, combined with the news of corroborating evidence was enough to snuff out his apprehension and he was once again struck with the childish thrill of their little clandestine meetings.

They opened the door to reveal Neela's ever boisterous form and a corridor filled with candlelit, which, after the gloom of the study, momentarily blinded the duo.

"Well, you two look pleased with yourselves." Neela smirked and Link blushed.

"Now, now Neela, no aspersions please. Sir Link and I were engaged in serious and sombre conversation regarding his reprehensible actions. He has found the experience highly illuminating, have you not, Hero?"

"Oh, um, yes, highly illuminating." He drawled sarcastically.

"Neela, please be so kind as to guide Link to the royal kitchens, to acquaint him with where his punishment will take place." She turned to Link and bowed to him, gloved hand on heart. "Farewell Sir Link. Until we meet again, however distant that moment may be." she winked

"Likewise, your highness." He returned the bow and was just turning to go when Zelda's voice stopped him.

"Oh, just before you go Sir Link. You may want to work on your face."

"My face?"

"Yes, you have just been sentenced to a great and terrible punishment… yet your face tells an entirely different story."

Ah, yes! Now he understood.

He was grinning like an idiot!

By the time he'd been guided through the labyrinthine passages to the Royal Kitchen, ever further from Zelda's confident influence, his grin was dead.

Just what had he gotten himself into?!


	23. Chasing Phantoms

**A.N: Hey my fantastic readers, sorry for the wait and hope you're keeping safe and well. As always thanks so much for the reviews and messages. I really appreciate your support. This may not be the longest chapter but its probably been the hardest to write.**

**Please keep the reviews and messages coming. It's the best motivator and the only real way of telling whether the story's keeping you engaged or leaving you yawning. I hope this chapter continues with the former.**

**Now let the action commence.**

**Chapter 22 – Chasing phantoms**

The Royal Kitchens – 203 days A.G

Link emerged from the stifling heat and bustle of the royal kitchens to the deserted calm of the corridor outside. Deserted, that is, apart from the two guards at the door whose greetings fell on deaf ears, failing to penetrating the hero's deep ruminations as he ambled off down the passageway, paying no heed to where his feet took him. Had he not been so lost in his own thoughts he might have sarcastically noted such rudeness as a welcome, if unintentional, addition to his cover as the dour dejected hero shambling home following his first humiliating punishment. As it was though, his mind was far too absorbed in what real tortures potentially awaited him should he fail to keep up his cover stories, both of them; the alibi for his secret meetings and the fairy tale fabrication of his adventures. At least… that was what MOST of his brain was concerned with!

There was however a rogue element at play which insisted on disrupting his ponderings, namely the moaning mirage of his mischievous lost friend, an impression in particularly poor taste given the guilt of tinkering, no matter how necessarily, with her legacy. Nevertheless, his subconscious mischievous streak responsible for this perverse pastiche rarely seemed to care about such things as tact or sensitivity… rather like the real Midna.

"Why didn't you knab some of those delicious ribs or one of those pastries? No one would have noticed in the commotion." Came Midna's whining tone and in his peripheral vision he caught sight of her imp form hovering weightlessly along next him as he walked, the luminous glow of her orange hair and eyes in sharp contrast to gentle warmth of the flickering candle light. The illusion was so potent, given how her memory had been stirred, that he almost turned to face her. He hastened to remind himself that this was simply a manifestation of his own mind, the mischievous streak he'd long neglected, now given a new lease of life through Midna's influence. Yet with each reappearance something niggled in his brain… something uncanny…

He pushed the niggling uncertainty aside, mentally retorting "Why do you ask when you already know the answer?" He had enough to worry about without his sanity being added to the list.

"To remind you to live a little. Besides, the answer stinks! Do you really think Romah would mind a couple of absent pork ribs after the brandy you gave him?..."

"That was a gift, not a bribe!" He protested but mischief simply waved it away.

"Bah, a gift's still worthy of something. Pork ribs… buttered potatoes… chocolate and raspberry taaarrrrttt, Hmmmmm. Just imagine what you could have had if you were just a little braver."

"Don't you mean unscrupulous?"

"Oh, sooooo overdramatic. It's only procuring a little light refreshment."

"Why do you care so much what we eat anyway?! The simple stuff's suited me just fine before."

"Sure, it's edible but it's not delectable. Besides at the moment, with all your needless worrying, you'll shake your stomach out of wanting anything. Seriously, relax! Zelda knows what she's doing…" The imp broke from his side to hover in front of him, her distinctive toothy grin splitting her face as she practically purred "and I know deep down you're secretly dying for your first "private Lesson" with her, no matter how many lies it takes."

"Seriously, I get enough trouble from my heart without you sticking your oar in too! Wont you gave it a rest."

"Oh, but your heart and I are in cahoots together. Besides it's so fun to tease you."

How could his imagination produce something so lifelike? Something didn't fit. Maybe…

No sooner had the question popped up than it was dislodged from his head as he tripped on an unexpected staircase which had snuck up on him in his distracted state. The mirthful mirage of his erstwhile friend unsurprisingly showed no sympathy for his misfortune, giggling and wagging a pointy digit, as he picked himself up. "Eeeheehee, perhaps you should spend more time looking where you're going and less time pondering useless questions you already know the answers to."

Despite his increasing doubts about his mysterious "imaginary friend", she – or it or whatever it was – was right about one thing. He'd been so caught up in his mental argument, he'd failed to where his feet had taken him. A quick scan of his surroundings revealed the destination his meandering malaise had brought him to. "Ah, up to the noble wing. Care to take a short cut or are you Cucoo?" Midna's voice goaded.

Link simply rolled his eyes and began to ascend the staircase. He did tend to avoid the noble wing, so as to minimize the risk of run ins with their residents and another potential political disaster. This time though he didn't have to worry, as most of them were currently dining with the princess and this route was, indeed, a shortcut. Course set, he turned his attention back to the potential consequences of selling his adventures as a sensationalised fairy tale for the masses… or perhaps the origins of his imaginary…

"You know, I'm surprised. All this worrying and yet you brush over the inevitable conclusion many will draw from such a fairy tale." The mirage jumped in, dislodging the question yet again.

"And what's that?"

Arriving in the noble wing, he could have been forgiven for thinking the twilight had returned, given the gloom that met him. The candle lighters had clearly done a lacklustre job tonight, most of the old candles having not been replaced, some completely burnt out, others flickering their final flames, mere pinpricks of orange in shadows of the cavernous corridor, far grander in design than all but the royal wing itself. A few candles still had enough life in them to light the way for those not gifted with his superior night vision but not enough to dispel the eerie atmosphere. Nevertheless, he set off down the corridor, curved like a giant crescent, his night vision and sparse flickering beacons leading the way.

Mischief was silent for a moment, almost as though it expected him to guess its clearly devious revelation. Either that or it was just some sick dramatic flair. Finally, Midna's lilting voice crowed triumphantly. "Really? Heart and mischief trump brain and, so called, rationality in the intelligence department, it seems. We figured it out ages ago. Think… a fairy tale… a hero… and a princess… what always happens? What might people assume?"

"Oh, Goddesses NO!" He'd suffered enough just from Telma's teasing. He didn't need half the kingdom joining in and given his experience it wasn't hard to guess which half.

"You always have the worst outlook, don't you!"

He was about to retort when raised voices from one of the rooms ahead caught his attention, bringing him to a halt just round the corner from the door to that particular nobles courters. A man and a woman? He didn't recognise the woman's voice, spitting caustic contempt with every word, but from the man's he could hazard a guess.

"I've never seen anything so pathetic! Even from you!" Spat Lady Halshaw.

"Really my dear? I would have thought my years lost in the bottle would have provided plenty such experience, but if her ladyship finds my sobriety so offensive I'm sure I could rustle up another bottle." Lord Halshaw's drawling reply oozed sardonic bitterness.

"Hiding cowardice behind conceited wit. You cower here rather than face dining with the council and the princess. You match your impotence in the bedroom with such a display."

"After all the years you've known me yet you still can't distinguish cowardice and impotence from mere festering distaste. I simply have no desire, nor any requirement to associate with those vainglorious pricks and perfidious vipers for every moment of the day. Your presence is more than sufficient, my dear."

"And to think I once mistook you for a man of ambition. The naivety of youth!"

"Contrary to your preconceptions, not all ambition revolves around power and wealth. Besides it is I who made the far graver mistake. I once foolishly mistook you for a lady!"

The bitter argument continued unabated and rapidly became little more than a buzzing in his ears as his mind turned back to his own worries. Skulking stationary and silent in the gloom, the oppressive shadows, combined with Midna's enigmatic doppelganger brought his thoughts inevitably back to her legacy and impact of their rewritten history.

"Come on! You know she'd understand. Give her some credit. I w… I mean, she was the brains of our partnership after all…" Why would part of his own consciousness trip on words that weren't even spoken?! "… Besides she wouldn't have any interest in reverence or hero worship and the last thing she'd want is for you to feel guilty about it."

"She may not have wanted me to feel guilty for it but I'm sure she'd appreciate some recognition and if anyone deserves it, she does."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate your praise and concern far more than hero worship from a bunch of strangers."

"You seem awfully sure on that."

"Well I… naturally being an agent of mischief, I'm more in touch with her than the rest of you." There it was again. Hesitation and, dare he say… discomfort… and the answer itself…?

In this half-light, the phantom Midna's illusionary state was brought into sharp relief, unaffected by the trembling shadows which danced over everything they could touch… but they couldn't touch her. Link froze, a chill running up his spine as he stared at this inexplicable spectre of his lost friend, only now truly taking in the unnaturally perfect illusion of her existence, something which surely even crystal-clear memories or imagination couldn't produce; the glow of her amber gaze holding emotions that shouldn't exist, the nuance of her movements expressing too much for mere reflections of reminiscence.

"So what? You think I'm some sort of ghost now?! You know Midna isn't dead right? Besides you already know what I am." The imp scoffed with casual dismissiveness, yet something in her mannerisms didn't fit… handwringing… a nervous tick.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. His assumption didn't fit and, as he gazed in haunted silence at the Mirage of his lost friend - the trusted companion with whom he had shared so much, the one person who probable came to know him better than any other - he came to realise, deep down, her existence had always been suspect. It had simply been an easy and comforting lie to avoid facing the inevitably darker alternatives. Also, as he now recalled, pretty much every attempt to ponder those alternatives while in the "phantom's" presence resulted in her – or it – redirecting him with some other topic, seemingly handpicked to shake him up. It was his own tactic in difficult subjects, yet whatever the phantom was demonstrated greater mastery of it than he did.

Was he losing his mind? Was he possessed? haunted?

A single glowing amber eye meet his sceptical blue orbs and the illusionary imp's mask of perpetual cheekiness began to falter. Nevertheless she, or it, tried to bat it away with rapidly fracturing air of nonchalance. "Bah! you know you're not insane right?!"

Was he insane?

"Link, you are not insane!" The phantom Midna blurted emphatically.

Link? It had addressed him by name! His body tensed and his pulse quickened, while the form of Midna shrank beneath his intense gaze, façade breaking completely, clearly aghast at her mistake. She would not meet his eyes.

"What are you?" he asked mentally, projecting cold calmness he did not feel. The buzzing in his ears was growing.

…

The mirage did not reply, instead slowly inching away, face averting and wringing hands.

"What are you?" Link audibly whispered.

The imp turned to him with a forlorn imploring gaze.

"Please, don't do this." came her weak mumble.

"What are you?!" he hissed through gritted teeth.

Midna suddenly drifted closer ascending to eye level still holding an imploring gaze in her amber eye. "Please… Please don't. Knowing will only make it harder for you."

It was a tone he'd only heard Midna take on two occasions, two of the worst moments of their partnership; when she lay dying, pleading with Zelda to save him rather than herself and… it had crept, soft and subtle, yet undeniably painful into her final fateful words to him.

He felt a lump in his throat and his entire body stiffened.

"_Link… I… See you later"_

Suddenly he was rent from reality as the scene began to replay in his mind's eye; Midna's true regal form dissolving into the mirrors ethereal light, a soft melancholy smile on her lips – the last they'd ever share – as her solitary tear drifted inescapably towards the mirror. He had, of course, been oblivious to its devastating effects, standing by and gormlessly watching it happen. Then it connected and the fractures started… and he just stood there like a stump, mind struggling to accept what it was seeing, while his body chafed in shock. Seconds later the mirror shattered, wrenching apart the closest bond he'd ever known.

Then it repeated and again he stood and watched helpless.

As the cycle continued into its third round the desperate questioning began, as so often before, though generally in the dark and comfort of his bed. Why had she done it? Why hadn't he realised what she was doing? Why hadn't he tried to stop it? Why hadn't Zelda?

The repetitions and questions continued to whirl, however they were starting to get drowned out with the ever-increasing buzzing. Wait was that in his head or…?

Link was jolted back to the present by the very real sound of violently smashing glass, ripping through the cold stone wall of the Halshaw family courters. He whirled towards the vicious crashing, reaching instinctually for the grip of his non-existent sword, his heart racing as his ears pricked for the slightest commotion from beyond the grey barrier. The bitter argument had ceased and in the immediate aftermath of the crash, all was eerily silent.

Then, with a tone so dripping in casual condescension and contempt Link could practically smell it, seeping through the solid stone wall, Lady Halshaw hissed "Perhaps in sobriety you will learn the lesson you clearly failed to grasp in intoxication."

"Oh, I learnt the real lesson long ago, my dear." The Lord muttered darkly.

As soon as Link had recovered from the shock of the crash, his mind instantly jumped back to Midna and he whirled around to search for the phantom of his lost friend, momentarily forgotten in the commotion. The mysterious mirage had vanished, yet her words still lingered in his thoughts. Even as he turned his attention back to Halshaw and what he had seemingly just overheard, his mind was still running through them over and over. Knowing will only make it harder for you?! What could that…

His musings were halted almost immediately when Lord Halshaw staggered out of his courters and propped himself heavily against one of the decorative suites of armour. The man's head may have been covered with a hand nursing it but Link could smell the bloody wound on his scalp. The unpleasant stench, which he knew far too well, only served to heighten the disturbing sensation he was somehow haunted. Despite this apprehension his thoughts moved to the wounded Lord slumped against the armour.

The truth was, he no longer knew what to make of the man who had caused him so much trouble all those months back or how the man would react to his help. First impressions counted for a lot and Lord Halshaw's couldn't have been much more repugnant if he'd tried. The wary hero still held a healthy suspicion towards the noble, however their last meeting had given him pause, particularly after he'd confirmed the brandy's authenticity… and the frankly astonishing value! Should he expose his presence and offer help or vanish into the shadows the way he came? His conscience cried for the former but distrust protested for the latter.

The decision was made for him when he suddenly became aware he was being watched. Lord Halshaw had spotted him, a single beady eye peering out from behind the hand nursing his head, regarding the hero with suspicion. Link returned his gaze and for a moment they merely stared silently at each other, trying to decipher one another's intentions. Then the Lord coughed, removed the hand from his wound and spoke… cautiously "Sir Link… Is there any reason you happen to be skulking outside my courters at this hour? I know you have yet not returned to patrol duty."

For a moment Link did not answer, temporarily fixated on a thin trail of blood, appearing almost black in the gloom, trickling down Halshaw's forehead towards his eye. When his fixation broke he paused only briefly before replying honestly but warily "I simply got distracted and took a wrong turn, so I decided to take a shortcut… I didn't expect anybody to be here, it being dinner time and all…" The trail of blood he'd been watching reached the noble's wiry eyebrow, prompting the man to produce a handkerchief and wipe it away, grimacing. With notable reluctance, he voiced the concern of his arguably naive conscience. "Then I heard a crash and… do you… need help Lord Halshaw?"

Halshaw scoffed dismissively "What? This? Oh no, this is just an accident. I'm often clumsy, particularly with glass, in my lady's presence. I've survived far worse." The lie was blatant and the message obvious. This line of questioning would go no further. He clicked his tongue and turned the question back to the hero "This is also dinner time at the mess and yet here you are wandering the corridors of the castle off duty. Some might call that suspicious? Unless…?" Link was about to jump into defence, only for the Lord to seemingly be struck by revelation. "Ah yes, now I remember. I'm guessing you are returning from sentencing at the hands of her royal highness?"

The sarcasm he expected from such a response was either so subtle as to be undetectable or entirely absent. Given the "lightness" of his "punishment" and his experience with the fractious and cynical Lord he assumed it was the former and intended as a sly jibe at the nature of his sentence. He launched into his cover story only to be halted almost immediately as Halshaw snapped. "I do not need the details. Merely knowing justice has been served is enough."

This threw Link for a loop and he blurted thoughtlessly. "Really? That didn't satisfy Lord Vanhorn."

This seemed to pique the Lord's interest. "Oh, so Vanhorn's been sniffing around, has he? The king of the vipers has stirred from his burrow?" Halshaw paused briefly in thought and then took an unexpectedly formal and polite tone. "Hmmm. Link, would you mind accompanying me to the infirmary? It is, as you are no doubt aware, only a minor detour from the barracks."

Naturally, Halshaw's abrupt change in demeanour rang the bell of distrust in the hero's head, however he was nonetheless curious, so awkwardly acquiesced with a curt "alright"

They set off down the corridor, Link expecting the noble to elaborate on the purpose for his requested company, yet silence prevailed and tension quickly built as they descended the spiral staircase out of the noble wing. He took the silence as opportunity to examine his unexpected charge as they walked and came to a striking conclusion. Despite the nasty gash across the head, which was once again being nursed, this time beneath an increasingly bloody handkerchief, this was the healthiest and sharpest he'd ever seen the Lord. The doughy spherical figure had trimmed considerably, though not entirely, and he had lost the sickly half-dead visage he'd possessed those weeks prior in his old office. The Lord's sobriety did however reveal something he'd always presumed to be simply a quirk of the man's inebriation and weight issues but was now shown to be real: a noticeable limp which left the hero vaguely curious, though not enough to pry, particularly given the tension in the air.

When they emerged into another unimportant corridor, just as gloomy and poorly lit as the noble wing, Halshaw broke the silence. "Honestly, this is a shambolic disgrace! Don't the servants earn enough to keep the castle lit?!"

Link, still waiting for Halshaw's intentions to be revealed, merely grunted in vague agreement, though his observation had brought up another point of concern. In an effort to try and stimulate conversation and extract the reason for this escort mission, he decided to voice it. "I don't know about the servants but I'm more concerned by the lack of guards?..."

Halshaw scoffed "What? Didn't you hear? After all those posters cropping up in castle town Captain Ashei decided to divert more guards to night patrol duty in the town…" Oh yeah, he did recall Ashei mentioning it in passing. The Lord added with notable bitterness. "… An unwise move in my opinion but, as I am no longer in charge… I no longer have a say in such matters." he coughed and his bitterness receded as he continued, a shift which baffled Link given the words he spoke. "By the way I should congratulate you on your assistance with her highness regarding my successor."

Wait, was Halshaw trying the same trick as Vanhorn had earlier? He hadn't helped Zelda with deciding the new grand general! Heck, he didn't even know a decision had been reached, let alone who it was! It made no sense but he was sick and tired of court games, particularly this evening with so much on his mind "Look, I don't know what you're talking about but if you're trying to paint me as some revolutionary who carries influence with the princess then…"

"Ah, so that was Vanhorn's angle! To answer your question, no that was not what I was saying, although your actions have inevitably had an impact. In this particular regard I was referring to your rediscovery of a long-lost mutual acquaintance by the name of Alfonzo Codgins Demerara, who I heard through the grapevine is her highness's choice of successor to my post. It has certainly stirred up the court…"

"Including you?"

"No. On the contrary, I know Alfonzo and while he may not be a cultured speaker, he is an admirable and loyal soldier with much experience and though his age is hardly ideal I much prefer the defence of the realm to be left in the hands of a veteran of combat than any incontinent bureaucrat, particularly those who were lining up for my role. I disapproved of his dismissal at the time and am glad, for his sake, that you found him and revealed his existence to her Highness…"

Mentally and emotionally drained after many weighty topics with Zelda and the haunting enigma of phantom Midna - a subject which still claimed much of his thoughts and deliberations - Link was in no mood for Halshaw's blatant beating round the bush, particularly with his grinding voice. Nevertheless, he tried to subdue his impatience in his interjection – tried being the operative term! "I don't mean to be rude Lord Halshaw, but my so-called rediscovery of Alfonzo was simply a happy accident, which I'm sure you are well aware. I highly doubt you asked for my company to thank ME, of all people, for a happy accident so please… get to the point!"

"As you wish. I requested your company to deliver a warning."

"A warning?! Well then what was the whole thanks for finding Alfonzo routine in aid of?"

The Lord halted is his tracks and checked the corridor, before whirling round to face Link, lowering his voice to nothing more than a conspiratorial whisper. "Simply to convey that I am not among the many enemies you created, however unintentionally, by bringing him to Her Highness's attention. Your actions may have been entirely innocent in intent; nevertheless, the fact remains they inadvertently caused the very public humiliation of several prominent members of the council, chief among them being the king of the serpents himself, Lord Vanhorn; upsetting the balance of power at court. Now, I must confess, nothing gave me more delight than watching the much-deserved obloquy of my most conniving and despised enemies, however through this act alone they have become your enemies too."

"Her highness already warned me about Vanhorn." Link hissed.

This earned him a disparaging tut. "Her highness is, for all her wisdom, afflicted with overconfidence in her abilities in reading her opponents and thus underestimates the depths they are capable of sinking to in order to, as they see it, even the score. I advise you to take their threat rather more seriously and, if possible, convince her to do the same."

"Firstly, what makes you think she'd listen to me? Second, why in all Hyrule do you care? Particularly given your display in Ordon."

"Link, my intentions may have been deeply flawed and the specifics of my accusations inaccurate, but I was not entirely wrong in my suspicions. You may not have slept with her, indeed there may well not be any kind of romantic connection between the two you but… there is a connection nonetheless; be it mutual reverence or… possibly friendship. Regardless it is there… it's why, I suspect, she will listen… and it is all the more reason for you to be careful. You are both Vanhorn's enemies now and he may use that connection to take down two birds with one stone."

Link was taken aback, both be the bluntness of his statement and its accuracy. Halshaw hit remarkably close to the mark with the connection he and the princess shared, but he wasn't about to confirm it, especially given his continued suspicions of the Lord's intentions. "That's quite the assumption but even if it were true, it still doesn't explain why you give a damn?"

Halshaw sighed. "I had hoped our last meeting might have answered that question but given the magnitude of my prior indiscretions and disgraceful conduct I suppose I should have expected such scepticism. Link, I suffer no delusions we will ever be friends, indeed I have no desire to be, given our inherent lack of common ground and the vast gulf in our cultural acumen and class. Know however that I hold you in high regard for your services and bravery in saving the kingdom. I do not see you as my enemy and I hope, with time, you'll extend to me the same courtesy. Her highness and I may disagree on many issues but ultimately, I must admit she IS the best option to lead this kingdom, certainly a far better choice than Vanhorn. And if none of that convinces you then I simply point you to the old adage "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and I can assure you, that viper IS my greatest foe."

Link was shocked to arrive at the seemingly undeniable conclusion of Lord Halshaw's words being entirely sincere and honest. He met the Lord's impassioned gaze with his own hard stare and found himself utterly convinced of the man's genuineness, a disconcerting notion, considering their past interactions. Nevertheless, given his experiences, he wanted to keep his cards close to his chest, simply nodding curtly "Ok, point taken and warning received. So, any advice?"

"Any secrets you may have, no matter how insignificant or irrelevant they may seem: bury them as best you can. If a noble engages you in conversation, particularly given your difference in station, assume they are an adversary until proven otherwise. Remain polite but beware: anything they say could be a trap designed to expose or exploit you. Regardless of the natural of your association with her highness, do everything in your power to conceal it. maintain a degree of formality at all times and above all…"

Halshaw's advice was lost as Link suddenly picked up a peculiar smell drifting to his nostrils, a smell which inexplicable raised the hairs on the back of his neck. He couldn't identify the odour, yet some instinctual memory told him something was wrong and he stared off down the dark empty hallway with increasing unease. The inky shadows now invoked ominous fingers stretching and waving in the flickering candle light, which seemed to be beating out a warning in the dance of their winking flames. Despite his discomfort his overriding compulsion was to investigate whatever it was.

"Link, are you even listening?! What are you staring at?" The Lord snapped irritably, bringing his attention back from the smell to his companion, who eyed him dubiously.

"Somethingssss… off. A strange smell." He replied cautiously

"What?! I don't smell anything!"

"I have a very good nose."

"Well then I pity your country bound peasant upbringing all the more…" Halshaw snarked before adding with genuine curiosity. "any idea what it is?"

"None. All I know is it doesn't sit well with my stomach. I'm going to investigate. I trust you can make it to the infirmary on your own?"

"Not a chance. I'm coming with you."

"But your head?!"

"I'll manage…" the Lord barked, swatting away Link's concern as a slight of his character, eyes gleaming with a sudden inexplicable spark of forthright determination. "Besides, I've done more than enough cowering and kowtowing for any man's self-respect. If it's dangerous you may need help and I need to regain the luxury of being able to look my reflection in the eye."

Knowing better than to argue with Halshaw, Link merely nodded and the duo set off down the corridor in silence, the only sounds coming from their footfalls, echoing in the vaulted ceiling and the occasional chatter from beyond a door. Having faced a barrage of near constant unknowns for over six months on his adventures, the hero carried himself with a quiet confidence, even admittedly feeling a spark of excitement mixing with his cautious apprehension. Halshaw kept pace with Link's confident stride, his countenance one of sceptical curiosity.

The source of the smell was clearly further than Link had thought as they reached a T junction without finding it and his nose told him it was still a way off. They took the left turn onto another long and dimly lit passageway just as uniform as the last and with no signs of anything untoward readily visible. There was, however, a new odour which joined the first. Was it… wet paint? It was accompanied by… snoring was it? It was hard to tell and seemed strangely laboured?

He decided not to share these revelations with Halshaw as he had a feeling the noble would probably simply dismiss it out of hand. Regardless, the curious smells and bizarre breathing increased with every step down the hallway and his puzzlement grew.

Halfway to the next fork in the path, Halshaw broke the wordless walk as he picked up the smells "Hang on. Is that wet paint?... and can you hear… snoring?" The Lord's words and steps began to falter. Link glanced back at him to see the man in blatantly frantic deliberation, his eyes darting manically as his hands vigorously clenched and released.

He was about to enquire when the light of epiphany flashed in the nobleman's eyes and two hushed words slipped from taut lips, barely audible even to Link's superior hearing, almost masked beneath a spiking heartrate. "Death bell" came the whisper.

Taking the confused hero by surprise, Halshaw broke into an ungainly yet determined run, ignoring a now blatantly painful leg injury as he yelled back at Link through gritted teeth. "You're right Link! Something's definitely wrong!"

Accelerating to catch up, while at the same time attempting to minimize the strain on his freshly healed ankle, the two pounded around the corner together into the next hallway, heavy bootsteps echoing off the walls, to the immediate sight of a guard lying face down in the middle of a rare patch of well-lit corridor. Link hurtled on ahead fully expecting Halshaw to be more cautious, yet to his shock, the Lord threw caution to the wind and charged with him towards the prone body. The Lord seemed wholly unsurprised by the body lying there and he could only guess it had something to do with the smell. "What's death bell?" He hissed between breaths, while his eyes frantically scanned the corridor for any imminent threats.

Halshaw didn't answer until he reached the guard who was unconscious but clearly still alive by the ragged snoring. Nevertheless, it was with great urgency that the nobleman heaved the body over and checked the guard's pulse, "Death bell's the soldier's name for a crude sedative used in field surgery." he explained quickly as he removed the guard's helmet and began to arrange the body into the safety position all soldiers were trained for any downed comrade. With no apparent peril in sight, Link turned his attention to assisting with the guard. Curiosity goaded him to read the red painted words, daubed across the wall next to the body; the apparent purpose of the crime, but they were only words, unimportant when measured against a life.

Halshaw continued to elaborate on Death bell as he checked the unconscious guard's breathing. "It earned its macabre moniker both from one of its ingredients and the fact that if you need it, the odds are already stacked against your survival. Be it from the wounds, complications of the surgery or simply not coming around afterwards, only one in ten survive… I was one of the lucky ones" Urgent yet controlled; commanding yet calm, the gruff, cynical, bitter politician had been replaced by the very quintessential model of a military officer: a miraculous metamorphosis which took Link by surprise, yet seemed to fit the man like a glove.

Realising there was nothing more he could do to help his unconscious comrade, a legate he only vaguely recognised, Link set about inspecting the crime scene for clues. His nose led him immediately to an abandoned paint pot, brush and a stinking rag, clearly smothered in the potent drug; the tools of the culprit. He glanced back at the guard with concern. He just hoped the man would make it. Who would do such a thing for simple graffiti?!

The question was answered as he began to read the blood red letters and all concern for his comrade was eclipsed by seething anger. The words leaked into the core of his being, as the wet red liquid trailed grotesquely down the stone surface.

_In surrender, our kingdom you betrayed_

_in inaction, the gods' will disobeyed_

_hear justice cry for the lost and afraid_

_Unwise pretender, there's a price to be paid_

The message was clearly about Zelda. A condemnation! A Threat!

They dared threaten Zelda?! They dared to blame her?! His teeth bared and his shaking hands balled in fists. He could feel it stirring in his stomach: the beast was waking, seemingly exacerbating his already heightened senses. The beat of his own heart was almost deafening, the texture of a single paint drop became as intricate as an artwork and… he could now pick up a scent trail of wet paint weaving away down the corridor. The scent of a traitor and he would hunt them down! They would learn the price of damning the princess!

"Link! Where are you going?! I just gave you an order!" Halshaw's harsh tone cut through the rage filled haze permeating his mind, but could not dispel it.

Link whirled round, fixing the Lord with a heated glare and biting back a bristling response, instead merely growling through gritted teeth "What?"

The Lord met his gaze unflinchingly from his position, still kneeling by the fallen guard, and while curt, he maintained his commanding yet composed demeanour, the only acknowledgement of the hero's sudden erratic behaviour being a twitch of his moustache. "Link, the alarm must be raised. Also, while the legate is stable for the moment, his safety can only be guaranteed by getting him to the infirmary as soon as possible. You must find a guard to spread to word and then assist me in carrying your fellow soldier to the infir…"

"If we do, the culprit will get away!"

"They've likely already gotten away. The best we can…"

"Not yet they haven't. I can smell them. I can track them!" Link snarled ominously.

Halshaw stared up at the fierce hero, examining closely the vehemence of his determination… and anger. "You trust your senses that much?"

Link nodded.

There was another pause, exacerbating the fiery hero's growing impatience, while the Lord contemplated. After a moment which felt like a century Halshaw huffed "Well unless you find someone else to aid me, my only other option is to call for assistance, which will surely tip off the perpetrator if he's anywhere nearby."

"Fine…" Link growled, straining his ears for the nearest room where he could hear activity "But you better hold on the alarm. That will definitely tip him off!"

At this, Halshaw pulled out his ornate gold pocket watch, consulting it briefly. "You've got fifteen minutes tops." he stated plainly.

"What! Why?"

"Because this is the main thoroughfare between the royal kitchens and the dining hall and, if all is proceeding to its normal clockwork precision, this hallway will be swarming with servants in roughly twenty minutes. I want this area cordoned off before that happens." Halshaw's firm tone and hardened stare made it clear this wasn't negotiable and every second stood round debating was a second of the hunt lost.

Link snorted with frustration and dashed off to what turned out to be the laundry room, barked orders at a couple of wide-eyed laundry maids, before rushing back to Halshaw, not even bothering to wait for a reply from the terrified duo.

"Right, your assistants are on their way. How long have I got?"

"Twelve minutes."

"Alright, time to hunt." He growled, staring into the shadow clad corridor which marked the start of the scent trail. A hate unlike anything he'd ever experienced seethed within him, the influence of the beast: clawing at his rational mind, intoxicating in its potent lust for vengeance. It hadn't fully taken hold, rational mind still clinging to some semblance of control but he was afraid… afraid of just what would happen when he caught the perpetrator. It was this fear and the shame of this sudden display of uncaring, feral volatility which kept him lucid.

He hesitated briefly on the threshold, questioning his callous course of action. He was leaving a fellow soldier who, while currently stable, desperately required medical help, all for a potentially futile hunt for a criminal who may have already escaped. Was it really worth risking a life to catch a criminal?... But… they were a threat to the kingdom! They were a threat to ZELDA!

Resolve reaffirmed, he strode forward only to be halted by Halshaw "You got a weapon?"

"I can handle myself without…"

"All the same, take this"

Link turned to see the Lord holding out a small, extravagantly sculptured, silver cylinder encrusted with jewels. He recognised it as a tube of ignis powder: a quick and easy way of reinvigorating dying flames. Hardly a practical weapon?! "What do you expect me to do with that? Dust some on the bastard and hold him to a candle?!"

Halshaw's brow furrowed but he did not reply, at least not verbally. Instead he pressed his thumb to a large diamond on the side and a small blade flicked out. Demonstration complete, he pressed the back of the blade and retracted it back into the body of the silver tube, before wordlessly offering it to Link once more.

Ok, now it made sense! He felt awkward taking the weapon from the very man he'd once assumed would be his greatest enemy at the court, yet it occurred to him as he took the intricate implement that perhaps, just maybe, the man he now faced was not the same despicable creature he met in Ordon. "Err, thanks" He grunted.

"Do not forget your duty as a guard. You are to arrest the culprit. Lethal force is a last resort."

Link internally bristled at the warning but he restrained his distaste as he simply muttered "I know my duty." Without waiting for a reply, Link turned and slipped out of the island of light and into the sea of shadows, the twinkling embers of dying candles winking like cat's eyes in the night.

There were smaller sporadic islands of illumination dispersed down the hallway, yet the beast urged him to shun them, the beast's natural home seemingly being shadow itself. As much as he was fighting to suppress its influence he relented to the compulsion, embracing the darkness as an ally is his hunt, a cloak which could aid him in sneaking up on his prey.

He soon reached a crossroads where the scent trail diverged down the left passage. His eyes, however were briefly drawn to the right where at the end of another long corridor blades of light sliced through ever possible crack in a set of ornate doors: the entrance to the next wing. He squinted at the harsh contrast and the beast within snorted disapproval. Nevertheless, it brought another query to his rational mind. Why was this area of the castle so poorly lit when other wings clearly hadn't suffered the neglect of the candle lighters?

There was no chance to ponder as the beast hounded him to continue the hunt, the very real ticking clock by the door persuading him to heeds its warnings. No distractions could be afforded. It would just have to be logged away for later.

He stalked down the left passage, took the next right and then quickly came upon an unexpected problem. The scent trail led to a T junction but then, bizarrely, seemed to disperse in both directions. Momentarily baffled, he began sniffing incessantly, like a blood hound, circling the intersection and comparing the smell at every point in its radius, channelling all his concentration into deciphering the findings of his nose.

The trail to the left was clear and led straight down the corridor, whereas to the right the scent, fainter and less distinct, appeared to be coming… from the wall itself?! Damn it, he didn't have time for this! He pressed his nose directly to the stone blocks and inhaled. It was definitely coming from the wall but how could that…

"Er, Link… um, what are you doing?"

Link whirled round to see a guard, whose name had slipped his mind, approaching cautiously, eying him with a mixture of bemusement and worry.

he met this bemusement with a growl of frustration. "Hunting!" He barked, unnerving the poor soldier, who backed away. Fortunately for the shaken guard, reason reigned the beast in by pointing out that he may be more useful than nuisance. "Have you seen anyone come through here recently?" He snapped.

"Um, no, same as it always is round here Link. You know how it is. The occasional maid or serv…"

"When?"

"Pardon?"

"When did you see the last person?!"

"Oh, er, must have been an hour at least."

Great! Well that got him absolutely nowhere. He gritted his teeth. "Fine, carry on with your duties and don't get in my way."

The guard flinched as though he'd just been whipped, before giving a hasty bow and promptly hurrying away down the corridor.

It was as Link's beastly blue orbs observed the man's rushed retreat that his brain stumbled on an epiphany. "In my way?" he repeated in his head. In… My… Way?

Of course! The guard was the answer to the half the conundrum and the other half could only be...?

He followed the trail left to prove a hunch. Sure enough, the trail soon took a sharp right, out onto a covered balcony overlooking the castle graveyard and, running along the outside wall of the corridor he'd just emerged from, a thin ledge connecting to another balcony further down. Well, whoever his prey was they certainly had good balance if they resorted to such lengths to avoid the guards. It will have, nevertheless, slowed them down which begged the question: why were they fixated on this particular route? What was their exit strategy?

There was only one way to find out and he was wasting precious seconds. "This was a time for action, not thinking!" He admonished himself as he run back up the corridor to the other balcony and, as predicted, intersected once again with the smell of wet paint, growing noticeably stronger as he continued to follow it.

The trail seemed to, paradoxically, be snaking back into the belly of the castle, away from any obvious escape. The beast in his belly growled impatiently. He was definitely gaining ground on his target but the threat of alarm bells peeling and blowing his chance to catch his prey loomed ever larger with every passing moment, with no way of knowing how long he had.

As he rounded the next corner another subtler scent mingled in the trail: sweat, and drifting with it on the air, the sound of footsteps, strangely muffled yet just about identifiable in the relative quiet of the otherwise empty passageways. With the gap closing fast, his pulse began to race and, as expressed by a steadily expanding feral grin, he was gripped with a palpable sense of anticipation. Thoughtlessly, a hand retrieved Halshaw's latest gift from his pocket and twirled it in his fingers as he prowled through the shadows. Oh, he hoped his prey would give him an excuse to… Wait, what was he thinking?!

He stuffed the silver weapon back in his pocket, shuddering at the casual viciousness of his thoughts. The culprit would be arrested and face trial for his crimes. "That was punishment enough!" He told himself.

Then, turning right from a T junction, he caught his first glimpse of who he presumed was his target, nothing more than a non-descript silhouette, slipping out of sight as the corridor arced. He licked his lips and quickened his pace, the back of the target, seemingly clad all in black and small enough to be man or woman, reappearing as the path straightened. Still the mysterious figure's footsteps sounded distorted… almost otherworldly?

Despite his pace, Link had managed to keep his footsteps light, while his quarry showed no consideration for their gait, and yet hunter and hunted's footfalls were equally hushed. Like the hunter, the hunted also shunned the light, skirting the auras of the few youthful and vigorous candles, sticking to the oily shadows. As the gap between them shrank with each passing step and the beast revelled in the thrill of the hunt, Link's rational mind couldn't help a growing feeling of apprehension.

He was now less than twenty metres from the figure, fulling expecting them to sense his presence and make a run for it, but they continued on, seemingly deaf to the world!

Just a few more steps and he'd be in striking distance…

Lulled by the quietness of their footsteps, Link was suddenly startled as the culprit's footsteps abruptly jumped from muffled and eerie to loud and echoing. He faltered a moment and the instant the figure stepped away the steps muffled once more. What in the world was that?

The black clad figure stopped at a crossroads, bathed in a rare patch of light. The beast within saw a chance to pounce but Link still had control, halting in the shadows… Something wasn't right.

The figure glanced left to right and Link caught a glimpse of a white mask over the figure's face. The beast was straining at the leash. Link could feel it writhing in his stomach yet he held steadfast in the darkness. This didn't make sense? Surely they knew their… TRAP!

Link ducked and dodged sideways as the crook suddenly lobbed a small grey ball at where the hero had just been standing. He had just enough time to recover from his roll to see the crook cover his ears as he broke into a run. The rupee dropped almost immediately and he reached to cover his own, slamming his eyes shut instinctively. His hands, however, weren't quick enough!

BANG!

The flash, like a bolt of lightning, was bright enough to penetrate his closed lids, albeit dimmed, and the accompanying thunderous crack stabbed his eardrums painfully, rendering his hearing little more than a constant high-pitched ringing.

He staggered backwards, the assault on his ears leaving him momentarily dizzy and disorientated. His eyes, however, recovered quickly and locked onto his prey, fleeing at breakneck speed down the dark passageway. With the very real threat of him losing his quarry he threw caution to the winds, disregarding his dizziness as he hurtled pell-mell after them.

He could feel their pounding feet on the floor even as incessant ringing drowned out the sound. He could feel his ankle flaming up again under the abuse but this only served to fuel the burning rage rapidly growing in his belly. Another sound, more felt than heard, soon joined in, the faint and indistinct clanging of the alarm bell.

The masked adversary hastily slipped through a door. Dispensing with regard for castle property, Link - or the beast - didn't grant the door the same courtesy of slowing to actually open it. Like a raging bull he smashed straight through, buckling the oak panels and breaking the lock mechanism clean from its housing as the door flew open. On bursting through, his eyes were assaulted by the shock of genuine illumination and his frenetic feet momentarily faltered as his eyes adjusted. Once recovered, his recklessness was rewarded with a glimpse of his prey swerving at the next Junction, skidding on the red carpet marking the intersection. Not only did the slip slow them down but the red carpet gave him a good idea where in the labyrinth of the castles they were. The hero turned hunter accelerated once more, regaining some much-needed ground on his prey.

As he reached the corner, there was a flash and, careening into the new corridor, he saw a guard and a young maid both clutching their ears as they crumpled to the floor, the maid's mouth open in a silent scream. Beyond them, racing away towards another door, was his prey.

Link was torn but the beast was fixated. His sight, locked unshakably on the rapidly retreating form of his quarry, was beginning to develop a red tinge. He didn't spare so much as a glance at the two agonised innocents strewn across his path, carelessly hurdling his fallen comrade in pursuit of their tormentor. It didn't matter. He was gaining and he could repay their suffering on the bastard who hurt them! An eye for an eye!

His prey burst through another door and, despite losing sight of them, Link bared his teeth in a feral grin. He knew where they were and what was approaching: A stairwell, which left his quarry only two options; take the stairs down, allowing him the opportunity to cut them off with a jump from the landing – he doubted they'd have the confidence to jump the staircase themselves - or take a left turn on the landing onto a corridor… which was a dead end.

On barging through, he caught his prey's foot disappearing around the corner towards the dead end. Perfect! The bastard had nowhere to go. Link charged.

As he whipped around the corner, two hands grasped his tunic and, using his own momentum against him, flung him against the wooden balustrade, so hard it cracked. Surprise from the ambush was quickly overtaken by shock as his eyes took in the full form of his assailant for the first time. What the… was that a sage mask?!

A boot struck his chest and the weakened balustrade snapped. Tumbling off the landing into the stairwell, Link desperately grabbed one of the tapestries which lined the walls. The fabric briefly assisted in slowing his descent, straining alarmingly before the threads shredded and he fell. The tapestry prepared him for the landing but it still wasn't pleasant, saving his back at the expense of further abuse to his ankle.

With the stabbing pain of his battered limb, the red mist permeating his vision seemed to intensify, consuming all other colours. His murderous glare shot upwards to his prey, retreating back the way they'd come. They'd played him! They clearly came this way just to lure him into that ambush… an ambush which could have been averted if he hadn't frozen at the sight of that mask. Pathetic!

In the full, vice-like, grip of fierce, untameable fury, he scrambled up the steps on all fours, raking his vocal cords with rabid snarls he couldn't hear over the ringing in his ears. The beast, until now merely a fervent influence in his head, had now claimed full control of his body. The logical and reasoned consciousness that was Link as he understood as "Himself" was chained and muzzled in his own head, watching the world race past through a screen of red stained glass, relentlessly fighting yet seemingly helpless to the whims of this force of nature which held dominion over his body. Pains numbed and senses misted up or merged together into indecipherable cacophonies.

The beast burst back through the doors to the sight of a trio of servant girls trying to assist the two victims he'd ignored just moments prior. On catching sight of the hero; at least the shell of him, baring his teeth and growling like a wild animal, they frozen, either from shock or terror. Link had never witnessed such a reaction to his presence. The fear on their faces was palpable, stinging his conscience that he was responsible for such distress.

The beast, however, showed no empathy for the frightened girls, staring them down as it sniffed the air. A few seconds later and it was on the move once more, clearly following a scent trail, given its frantic yet purposeful movements.

Was this beast some base, twisted part of his own psyche let loose on the world or a separate entity? It did not have a voice or words. It did not speak. It was simply a barrage of extreme emotions: volatile, unrelenting and utterly unforgiving. He continued to valiantly wrestle against his mental bindings but his efforts appeared fruitless, offering no measurable signs of accomplishment or hope for his struggles. He was trapped in a surreal crimson nightmare, one he was starting to fear he'd never escape.

The beast had re-entered the darkened corridors he'd prowled earlier. The red stain turned from the bright crimson of fresh blood to the putrid dark scum of old blood, obscuring his vision still further. It was still on the trail, though Link was sure they were actually retracing their steps. Was it confused? Had their quarry retraced his or her steps or was the beast chasing its own tail.

As predicted, they arrived back at what he suspected was the very crossroads where their chase had begun. The beast sniffed around before setting off, with dogged determination, in the opposite direction to their chase. If his muddied senses were to be trusted, the beast was still following A scent trail but what? Link's unrelenting struggle to regain control continued in vain, as the hunt persisted, prowling through the labyrinthine passages with increasing frustration. They appeared to be going in circles, though from his internal prison he couldn't be certain. His perceptions of orientation and time were warped within the confines of his crimson cell. They could have been at this for minutes or hours, though by the beasts frenzied pace he assumed it was a matter of minutes. It would not matter if he could not find a way out.

The beast suddenly veered, beelining for a narrow door which opened to reveal an equally confined passageway, so meagrely lit that in his crimson prison Link could barely make out anything. A couple of solitary scarlet pinpricks winking in a sea of nothingness. The vague sensation of something cold, rough and solid pressing in on both sides gave away the truly constricted reality of this unknown tunnel, filling his already unnerved mind with an additional layer of dread. There was, however, a scent trail, as indistinct as it was to his numbed senses it was undeniably there.

Venturing into the unknown did little to discourage the beast, squeezing through the confined darkness with the same single-minded obsession it had shown from the start. It could clearly see more than the incarcerated hero as it began to descend a tight spiral staircase in what, to Link, appeared pitch darkness.

Down and down they went, the walls seemingly closing in still further as they descended beyond the realms Link would have thought possible. Was this just some nightmare? Was this his journey into insanity? Oblivion in the deepest recesses of his own head? He fought to rise up but to no avail.

Hang on? Was he regaining his senses? The smell was growing more intense as they descended further. It was horribly distorted; grotesque and were he still in control of his body he would likely be suppressing wretches if it increased. The beast's determination was rapidly morphing to renewed anger and frustration.

By the time they found the end of the staircase, the stench was intolerable even from within Link's prison. The beast scrambled around now in complete all consuming blackness. The passage ahead was too small even for the hero's diminutive frame to stand in and even more constricted than the staircase. The cold stone walls were damp and the air was filled with a noxious miasma completely masking whatever scent trail they'd been following.

Sensation was returning. A writhing in his stomach! A pounding in his skull! He still had no control. Then came a rip tide of wild ferocious rage and, carried behind on its currents, jagged shards of soul crushing despair and fear, pulling, tearing and buffeting him from all directions. The beast began to howl, shredding his vocal cords, while the sound, echoing harshly off the constricting stone tunnel, stabbing his still ringing ears and he collapsed.

The beast began thrashing violently: clawing, scratching and pounding against the walls with bare hands. Link could feel the skin of his calloused fingers tearing and his knuckles splitting as they were flayed and beaten against the rough stonework. The black hole of reality began to slip away as the ringing in his ears slowly morphed into incessant echoing screams, desperate harrowing screams ripped from his worst nightmares, the final doomed cries of the Princess he could never save.

Blood in his veins froze and over the empty black canvas the dreaded scene began to materialise as misty silhouettes, the giant form of Ganondorf raising his great and terrible blade over the crawling form of Zelda. "Behold your failure." reverberated in his skull, distorted and demented. The blade dropped only for the whole thing to start over, just as blurry and indistinct, yet horrifying.

The toxic stench pervading the air stung his throat as he gasped and panted, suddenly short of breath, his pulse frantic as he felt his hands continue to beat themselves blood against the constricting stone walls. Panic was wearing down the walls of his internal prison yet he could not regain control of his frenzied limbs. He persevered with his struggle to regain control, though in the pandemonium it became unclear whether he was fighting the beast or his own fears.

Then, seemingly to taunt him further, another scream, emerged through the cacophony, equally as recognisable. Yet this one never featured in his nightmares because within those she was already dead. The scream of his lost companion was not a scream of terror but one of immense pain and struggle. It grew, steadily consuming the misty nightmarish echoes as it came into focus, building to an ear-splitting crescendo. What was happening?

Link, or the beast - it was hard to distinguish - slammed his eyes shut and everything else; the nightmare visions, his frantic fists and the horrific screams suddenly faded as a voice, exhausted yet soothing, called out to him "Let it go, Link, let it go… he's gone, he's gone."

His eyes flew open to meet a glowing gold one gazing back at him mere inches from his face. The rest of her childlike form quickly came into focus illuminated by an impossible light in the lightless tunnel, her visage wracked with weariness, worry and… shame?

"Midna?" He croaked, his voice raw, only to beginning choking on the noxious miasma of the tunnel, as all his senses abruptly returned.

The apparition shook her head and drifted away. "You need to go. You wont find them now."

"Midna?!" He coughed, trying to pursue her on hands and knees, his bleeding hands stinging and his ankle pounding, as he crawled through the damp, nauseous darkness.

Again, the phantom shook her head. "No! I'm not her… Please go." she implored

"What are you?" he choked, shambling ever further down the tunnel after her, moisture, sweat and blood slicking the stone floor beneath his fingers.

The mirage dissolved into the dark, leaving him with two parting words

"I'm sorry."

**A.N: Well, this is it… the end of Act 1! It's been a long time coming but it's now here and it marks a seismic shift in the narrative and, indeed, the tone. I am wondering whether to separate each Act into its own story on here but I'm not sure. If you have a particular opinion on this feel free to let me in a review or a message. Oh and for those who love the fluff, rest assured that while there will be a definite shift in the second act to more serious drama and mystery, the romance and the comedy will still be there, just a little more subdued.**


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